A/N: So in memory of Frost and Lee Thompson Young, I wanted to write this. It's a separate thing from my "Protege Series" and other one shots. Tissues will be necessary if you need them. It's definitely a different writing style from me and this takes place during the time interval between 5x01 to 5x02
Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. It belongs to TNT and Jan Nash plus a couple other people. Also "Shine Your Light" is not mine but property of Robbie Robertson and from the movie "Ladder 49", lyrics are in italics and bold. Only grammar and spelling mistakes are mine.
Shine Your Light
The cry of the city like a siren's song/Wailing over the rooftops the whole night long/Saw a shooting star like a diamond in the sky/Must be someone's soul passing by.
Sergeant Detective Vince Korsak stared at the desk by Jane's desk. It was hard to comprehend that Detective Barold Frost was gone. He was helping make the plans for the funeral with the help of Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh and a couple of the other brass. He planned to make sure that uniforms and detectives, friends, and family were all there.
He had been on the phone all day, making the proper calls on who to inform. Finally resting, he looked around the silent bullpen and his eyes happened on the empty desk that he was staring at now.
He would not be making fun of Korsak for going on YouTube or not knowing what Twitter was.
He wouldn't join him for drinks at the Robber.
His team was down a man.
The 'new guy' that he teased all the time was gone. The guy he once disliked because Jane replaced Korsak for him but soon, they became close for they had common ground.
They both had Jane's back.
It wouldn't be the same to go to crime scenes. He wouldn't hear the loud sounds of the guy trying to puke because his stomach couldn't handle it. There wouldn't be anymore teasing between them.
But as he stared at the desk of his fallen friend, Korsak vowed as he sat at his desk that he was going to learn about all the computer's stuff that Frost did. He was going to make his friend proud especially if he knew how to work FaceBook at the end of the day.
These are the streets/Where we used to run where your Papa's from/These are the days/Where you become what you become/These are the streets/Where the story's told/The truth unfolds/Darkness settles in.
Detective Frankie Rizzoli Junior looked down at the action figure in his hand. He twirled it for a couple minutes before he placed it into the box that was labeled 'Frost'. His family asked for his things to be collected and Frankie volunteered to do it. With a box in his hand as well as a small money jar that his Ma labeled, "To Detective Frost's family," Frankie walked up to the bullpen to clear out his friend's locker and desk. There were still gym clothes and even a spare suit in the locker with small pictures of his family and friends all over it.
Frankie took in a deep breath then released before collecting these items. He then went over to the somewhat empty bullpen to clear Frost's desk. As he did this, officers and detectives alike walked by, placing money in the jar.
Even Crowe placed fifty dollars.
They came in then out but now, late in the day, he was alone. The silence began to sink in and somehow it was constricting him. He let out a shutter breath then took in another deep breath with a tear sliding down his cheek.
The last three days have been difficult.
He didn't have his friend anymore. The friend who brought him under his wing to teach him on how to become a detective was gone.
Janie was trying to handle everything but she wouldn't talk about how she felt. He tried to corner her and try to find out how she was doing but she always disappeared.
It wasn't going to be same.
His wingman was gone but it didn't mean that the stuff Frost taught him would be forgotten. No, Frankie planned to improve in his skills to be as good as Frost. He looked down at the action figure one more time before he whispered, "I'll make sure this is in good hands."
Don't want to be a hero/Just an everyday man/Trying to do the job the very best he can/But now it's like living on borrowed time/Out on the rim over the line/Always tempting fate like a game of chance/Never want stick around to the very last dance/Sometimes you stumble and take a hard fall/Lose your grip off the wall
She had to act like the Queen of the Dead for this. Many told her that she didn't have to do the autopsy but have someone else come in to do it. But Doctor Maura Isles refused this gesture and planned to do the autopsy.
When the call came, her heart dropped and she prayed to some other being that it wasn't him. She arrived at the scene to see that there was his car flipped over and oh how her heart hurt. They called her to identify the body and to her horror, it was him.
However, she had to be strong at that moment. Her hand shook as she took out her cell phone, dialing Sergeant Detective Korsak's number. She placed it against her ear and he answered to her dismay.
She told him that Frost was in a crash and…he was gone.
She waited for them to arrive and when she saw Jane, she wasn't sure what to do. Jane looked at her, pleading with her eyes that it wasn't Frost but all Maura could say was that there was nothing that she could have done.
They had the body transported and here she was with Detective Frost's items. It was hard, going through his medical files. His body rested in the crypt until it was time to bury him in final resting place.
She wanted to honor him properly.
As she cataloged certain items like his suitcase and tablet, she began to handle her grief very slowly. Many people say that trying to remember the good things would help. So Maura began to remember the good things about her friend, Detective Frost.
She remembered how he formed a small friendship with her. How they would originally address each other by their professions but now, she knew him as her friend, Barry.
She remembered trying her best to help him to get his morgue legs. Immersion therapy wasn't really enough to help the detective but now, he was able to handle some autopsies without any problems.
She remembered how she used acupuncture to help relieve the pain his shoulder while she and Jane talked.
She then stopped, feeling the tears forming in her eyes. She knew the names of the glands that formed but the tears but at the moment, she didn't care. She placed the current items in her hands and turned away as the tears ran down her cheeks.
She looked over at the crypt, walking over to the section that she placed Frost at. She ran her fingers along the doors before she whispered, "Thank you for being my friend."
I thought I saw him walking by the side of the road/Maybe trying to find his way home/He's here but not here/He's gone but not gone/Just hope he knows if I get lost
Detective Jane Rizzoli needed to be alone. Every time she walked down the street, she would see his face. A ghost trying to taunt her or support her?
It's been three days since she arrived at the scene. Three days since she saw her partner's body. Three days since she's been trying to collect everything that has happened. She wasn't even sure how she was handling this.
She walked into Headquarters and it was hard to think that he wouldn't be sitting across from her.
He wouldn't make small jabs at her.
The computers wouldn't be the same.
The trips to the coffee shop wouldn't be the same.
Everything would be different now. She's been doing her best to help everyone out. She comforted Frankie and Maura. She comforted his girlfriend, parents and little brother. They asked for her to speak and all she wondered was what would she say.
It hadn't sunk in fully. She expects to see him at his desk in the morning, arguing that the stupid doll is really an action figure. But when she looked around, she realized that he wasn't coming back.
Frost was gone.
He wouldn't be there to support her as she grows into a giant hippo because she was pregnant.
It was too much to her.
Maura asked her if she spent time to mourn and she answered that she did.
But that was a complete lie.
She couldn't stop because if she did, she would finally break down. She couldn't break down at all while trying to help everyone. She was going to be the rock but even rocks grumble. She knew that everything would finally come down on her and she would break down.
She needs to mourn and that's why she sat in her living room alone. Jo Friday was with Tommy, giving her time to clear her head. She looked around, surrounded by the silence before took in a deep breath then released it in a harsh shutter.
She wouldn't cry, she told herself.
For Pete's sake, let yourself cry, Jane.
Her head sharply went up, expecting to see Frost but instead it was just air.
Her partner and friend was gone but she also knew that she couldn't stop living. Frost would be upset at her for even thinking that thought. She has a life also and she needed to move on at the end of the day. She needs to mourn because if she doesn't, she will burst either into pure anger or pure heartache.
It's okay to cry.
It seemed those words hit the core. Finally, the wall that Jane placed up, fell apart and she released a harsh sob. The first one since she saw Frost's body three days ago.
She cried for the lost of friend and partner.
It was not until a couple minutes later, Jane finally stopped crying. There were small traces of the tears on her cheeks, trying to hide them even though there was no reason to.
She has been procrastinating a bit on the speech. She wasn't sure on what to say about him and she felt someone else could do a better job. Maura, Frankie, Korsak or even Cavanaugh can make a better speech then she could but no, she was asked to make the speech.
She took in a deep breath again before she stood up from her seat on the sofa. If she was going to write this speech, she wouldn't type it on her computer. She walked from the living room to one of her drawers, pulled out a paper and a pen then walked to her kitchen counter.
She placed the paper down and sat down, clicking the pen to reveal its tip. She looked down at the blank paper, thinking of what words she could start with.
Just go with it, she thought.
She placed her pen on the paper and said aloud as she wrote, "Detective Barry Frost was not only my partner but…he was a dear friend…"
Shine your light down on me/Lift me up so I can see/Shine your light when you're gone/Give me strength to carry on/To carry on
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