∞…
Occam's Razor
…∞
The shower water was warm and flecked with rust, filling the bathroom with steam. Ellos sighs and leans back into the water, letting it run down her face and her hair. A small stream of water trickles down her forehead and into the corner of her mouth.
She sighs, completely happy and content. The aches and pains of her muscles and joints are gone, at least for now.
Slowly, she lets one eye slit open, then the other, marring her pleasure. The sight of Aerith's shower never ceased to amaze.
There was pink. Everywhere. Pink lace shower curtain. Pink soaps. Pink loofahs. Pink brushes. Pink candles. Pink bath salts. Pink bath oil. Pink shampoos. Pink conditioners. Pink shower gels. Pink lotions. Pink…things she didn't even know the names of. She had never seen such a plethora of cleaning products since she happened to look under the kitchen sink.
She let her gaze wander to…the thing. It was, you guessed it, pink. Somewhat T-shaped, simple, yet deadly, this wasn't the first encounter Ellos had with this pink instrument of doom.
Ellos had defeated Heartless. She had defeated mindless. She had defeated Nobody. She would not be defeated by this twisted tool of personal hygiene.
An hour and several cans of shaving cream latter…
Ellos let out a curse, something along the lines of Hades doing indecent things to a pogo stick, and several words that cannot be repeated here. She slapped on another band-aid, joining it's fellows on her leg.
Outside the shower, Yuffie seriously considered transferring the title of most creative swears over to Ellos from Cid.
Sitting on the toilet seat, Yuffie grinned. Few people Yuffie knew had escaped being the brunt of Yuffie's pranks, save Ellos. But not for long. The cogs and wheels inside her mind where whirling full force now.
Suddenly, the warm shower water around her turned freezing cold. The effect on Ellos was as instantaneous as a human can get. She shot up, slicing a new cut up her leg with the razor. Slipping on the floor of the shower, she reached out blindly- and grabbed the shower curtain. The pink belaced monstrosity came down on Ellos like divine inspiration on high, and only slightly less painfully. She was halfway up before the shower curtain rod came down as well, landing on her head with a hollow, metallic clang.
Ellos turned her eyes to the sound of laughing. Yuffie was still on the toilet seat, smacking the wall with one hand and the other still on the lever.
Yuffie caught sight of Ellos and her laughter died. A giant purple bump was on the side of her head where the shower rod had hit her. Her lower legs were scratched and bleeding. In one hand she had a disposable pink razor, and in the other held the pink lacy shower curtain loosely around her. Yuffie let her gaze slowly travel up to Ellos' eyes.
It seemed like the fires of hell were reflected in them.
"I am going to kill you." Ellos said. "Slowly. Painfully."
"Eep…" Yuffie squeaked. "How…slowly and painfully?"
"More than you dare dream." Ellos replied.
Yuffie bolted, Ellos not far behind her.
…∞
Disclaimer of Disaster- If anyone so much as thinks about suing me for claiming that I own anything but Ellos, I will hang them by their toes in acid. I own nothing.
Ok, this disserves some explanation. The idea for this just randomly popped in my head, and I put in Ellos because I haven't used her in so long and for the enjoyment of any Ellos fans out there (if there are any…). This is a one shot, so you probably won't be subjected to any more random pointless one-shots like these again, or so we can only hope.