Hello, friends. Yes, I am writing a series of drabbles. First, though, I should clarify some things.
1: This is NOT L/Light. Not that I'm against it, which should be obvious if you've seen my fanfiction before, but it's kind of important that there's no L/Light here. Though I might throw in fanservice for the heck of it.
2. These are mainly written for my own amusement. That's not supposed to be snarky, like "If you don't like it, too damn bad" or anything. It's a warning. This will get weird. "WTFBBQ" weird. Not totally on crack, because I'm going to keep it semi-realistic--no one is going to Candy Mountain any time soon--but you will see things not normally seen in fanfiction. You may see things seen quite often in fanfiction, too--like, say, going to Wammy's--but give me a break, no one can be completely original all the time. Especially not in fanfiction. If they were, well... It wouldn't be fanfiction, would it?
3. Light's kind of abused in this. Just kind of. And L will be a total ass at times. You'll notice it quickly. It's part of the weirdness.
I think that covers it. Oh, and I do not own Death Note.
"Ryuzaki," said the computer, "You're needed at the house."
Light hadn't expected to hear that from L's laptop that morning, and he doubted L had either, judging by his reaction.
L's brow furrowed, and he bit his lip. Light had been around L long enough to know that was his 'WTF?' face.
"What for?" asked L.
"There has been an incident," said the computer, which was not literally speaking, mind you, but was just projecting the voice of Watari, "Involving your successors."
"Is it necessary for me to be there in person?" asked L, drumming his fingers on his knees.
"Yes," said Watari, "Yes it is."
"May I ask why?"
"Not while others can hear you."
"I see. Send me the details in an e-mail."
"Understood." With that word of parting, Watari signed off. Or Light assumed he did, because nothing else was heard from Watari's side.
"Ryuzaki," said Light, "What did he mean by 'you're needed at the house'?"
"One moment, Light-kun." L opened his e-mail and did a quick scan of the new message from Watari. Light thought he heard the man give a small sigh.
"Well, apparently," said L, "We are going to England, Light-kun."
--
"Why are we going to England, Ryuzaki?"
"Classified information."
"Where in England are we going?"
"Classified information."
"Can you say anything else?"
"Classified information."
Light rolled his eyes. "Right. Okay then. Well, why do I have to come with you?"
"Classified—"
"Don't."
"You are coming with me, Light-kun," said L, stuffing a pair of jeans in his black rolling suitcase, "For the same reason you are chained to my wrist. Also, because you are chained to my wrist."
"But I need to keep working on the Kira case," said Light, "If you're working on something else, in a different country, then I'll have to work harder than ever. We can't both just stop working on the case like that!"
"You will have a laptop to do your work with, Light-kun, as will I," said L. He glanced around the room, as though looking for something. "Now please stop your bitc—complaining and begin packing the items you will need for the trip."
Light scowled. "Fine. And where is the suitcase I'll be using?"
"Right here," said L, pointing to the suitcase on the bed. "It has plenty of space. There is no need for extra suitcases."
"What? I think it would be better to have separate suitcases."
"We only need one, Light-kun, and I only have one," said L, apparently finding what he had been looking for and quickly stuffing it under the folded pairs of jeans, "And I am not going to send out for another one just because you can't handle sharing luggage."
"Why are you such a jerk today?" Light muttered, turning towards the closet to grab the clothes he'd need.
L sighed. "I apologize, Light-kun," he said, "The situation has made me slightly irritable."
"What about the situation—?"
"Classified information."
Light had tried to stop himself from throwing the sweater at L's head. He really had.
--
The flight to England was uneventful and long. Very long. In fact, so long that Light fell asleep halfway through and slept until the end of the flight. That was a blessing, really, since the flight was so horribly long—he didn't know how long, because that was, according to Ryuzaki, 'classified information'—but Light had never felt too comfortable about sleeping in public. For one thing, it seemed rude. For another thing, when he was little, he had once been left on a bus. His parents hadn't noticed that he was asleep and had gotten off before seeing he wasn't with them.
They had run after the bus for half a mile to get him at the next stop, but it had still caused a bit more trauma than Light would like to admit.
When it was time to get off the plane, L woke Light up gently, singing a sweet melody into the brunette's ear with his velvety soprano.
Ha ha, no, that last sentence was total bat shit.
L stood up in his seat by the aisle the instant the stewardess said they could leave. Completely ignoring the fact that the boy chained to his wrist was asleep, he trudged down the aisle towards the exit, only stopping when there was a loud 'thud' from behind him.
He turned to see Light giving a long, strangled screech of pain, clutching his forehead where it had collided with the seat in front of him.
"My apologies, Light-kun," said L, the look he was giving the boy completely uncaring, "I supposed I projected you forward with the pull of the chain."
"Why would you do that?" Light sobbed.
"Come on, Light-kun," said L, turning away. "We are leaving now."
Light followed him reluctantly, rubbing at his hurt forehead. "Ryuzaki, I think I'm bleeding…"
"No one cares, Light-kun."
--
Light and L stood by the baggage carousel, waiting for the black suitcase to come around. They ignored the stares from the people around them, or at least, tried to. Not that L was having difficulty ignoring the rest of the human race, but there was an elderly woman standing next to Light who had no qualms about staring with unnerving intensity.
"Ryuzaki," Light murmured to the other man, "Couldn't we have removed the chain? At least while we're in public?"
"Of course not, Light-kun," said L, "A crowded airport is a perfect place for you to escape."
"Then can you at least not speak English?" asked Light, cringing at how small and pitiful his voice sounded right now. "I'd rather speak Japanese right now, so people can't understand what we're saying…" Or at least what you're saying.
"You ought to get used to speaking in English while we're here, Light-kun," said L. "This is England, after all."
Light sighed and muttered, in Japanese, "I don't understand why you're being such a jackass to me lately." He gave a little snort. "Do you need a tampon or something?"
L's eyes narrowed. In English, he said, "Light-kun would do well to remember that I am stronger than he is, and that I will not hesitate to kick him in the face in public."
Light sighed and looked away, only to see that the old woman was looking at him more closely than before. Her eyes seemed to be locked on the bruise on his forehead.
"Ah, there is our luggage," L murmured, walking forward to take the black suitcase.
Light was about to follow him when the lady pulled on his sleeve, beckoning for him to lean in close.
"Sweetie," said the old woman, her British accent adding to the charming, grandmother-style kindness in her voice, "I know that this man may seem like 'the one' to you right now, but the way he treats you… It's just not what's best for you. I know I may seem a skosh nosy, as this is obviously none of my business, and I don't even know you, but really, dearie, I just hate to see such a handsome young thing get caught up in what can only lead to heartbreak." She smiled gently and gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry, love. Hearts can heal. Just don't let the old tinker get the best of you."
Apparently seeing her bag, the old woman gave Light's shoulder a final pat and then walked away.
"That was quite an experience," said L, who came up to Light's side just a moment later. "The man whose suitcase was next to ours refused to let me retrieve it. Instead, he continued to reach over ours, efficiently blocking my arm from getting our luggage." He frowned. "His pits smelled of fish, Light-kun. Quite disturbing."
"Hey, Ryuzaki," said Light, again switching to Japanese. "That woman over there just told me I should break up with you."
L blinked. "What?"
"Apparently," said Light, "She got the impression that you're my boyfriend, and that you're slapping me around."
L blinked again. He turned his head slowly to look at the woman, who was also glancing their way.
When L's eyes fell on her, the woman visibly started and turned away, scurrying off in a panic.
"I believe she thought you were going to hit her," said Light.
"People are weird," said L, sticking his hands in his pockets. He turned away and began to shuffle towards the exit. "Let us go, Light-kun."
Light sighed and grabbed the suitcase, following the detective dutifully.
--
A shiny black car was waiting for them outside. Apparently, L refused to travel anywhere without doing it in a way that showed off his wealth and power. This seemed incredibly stupid to Light, since L was supposed to be hiding his wealth and power, as his identity was meant to be secret. Yet the man never made an attempt to do anything of the sort.
Oh well, thought Light, I guess a fancy car doesn't give that much away… though it still seems pretty ridiculous.
About twenty minutes or so later, the two were sitting in the back of the car, the chain pooling on the seat between them. Light was entertaining himself by looking out at the beautiful English countryside, and L was bored out of his skull. He was in desperate need of something with which to keep himself amused, and so far he was having no such luck. He couldn't even think of a way to accuse Light of murder.
(All right, so that was a lie. He could think of several. But none of them perked his interest at the moment.)
Of course, Light wasn't good only for racking up percentages that L made up. He was also fun to just mess with.
"Light-kun," said L, "I am bored."
"I'm sorry," said Light, not looking away from the window.
"Perhaps…" L paused for dramatic effect. "…We could entertain each other?"
"And how would we do that, Ryuzaki?" asked Light. He already sounded tired of dealing with the other man. He still refused to look away from the window.
"Oh, I don't know…" L slid over to Light's side, having already undone his seatbelt. He leaned in close and spoke directly into Light's ear. "I'm sure we could think of something… Light-kun…"
Light jumped when the hot breath hit his ear and spun around in a flash. But L was no longer behind him. The other man had miraculously slid back to the other side of the car and put his seatbelt back together before Light could turn around.
"…Um…" Light swallowed, giving L a wary glance before turning back to the window. "…Right. I don't think I'm in the mood for entertaining you, Ryuzaki."
"But Light-kun…" The hot breath was back at Light's ear. "I wouldn't be the only one entertained… We could have some… fun."
Light turned again, and L had not slid back this time. Light blanched, and L smirked, putting his arms on either side of the boy's head.
"R-Ryuzaki?!" Light stuttered out.
"Light-kun," L murmured huskily, his smirk growing wider as he leaned in. Closer and closer, their noses brushing against each other as L tilted his head and brought his mouth nearer to Light's own trembling lips…
In an instant, L was back on the other side of the seat, seatbelt done up once more.
Light panted for air and clutched his heart, which was beating rapidly. "What the fu—"
"Would you look at that," said L, glancing out the window. "We're here."
End of first chapter! These first chapters are basically just to set up everything. After everything/everyone is introduced, we'll get to the fun stuff.
I looked up English slang for the old woman. Not sure if I used it right. I mean, I'm pretty sure I used it right, but I don't know if an elderly woman would say things like 'skosh' and 'tinker'. (Heh heh, skosh. It's a fun word.) I'm also not sure if I just insulted a lot of English people. If you live in England, or just randomly know everything about slang in the UK, some advice would be awesome, because I like the slang and would love to use more later.
Next chapter: Meeting Near (and other, less important people)
Please review!