Title: The Hot List
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Characters: Rose/Scorpius
Summary: Scorpius can't get the girl he desires until he can get his name off of Rose Weasley's 'Not Hot List'.
Word Count: 2715
Notes/Warnings: This was supposed to be a drabble for i_am_girlfriday's birthday. As you can see, it's very late and not much of a drabble. Here is the quote the fic is based on: "You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another... classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some time that might be nice... more than nice." -Bridget Jones's Diary
Rose Weasley had a reputation to maintain. You didn't become the leading arbitrator of style and fashion at Hogwarts without devoting a lot of time and attention to what you wear, what the people you hanged out with wore, and what everyone else in school was wearing. Mind you in a school where students wore uniforms over 60% of the time it wasn't EASY to make such distinctions. But if you had natural talent for coordination and a bloody good memory it was possible to categorize everyone at school as either 'hot', 'not', or 'wannabe.'
As Rose repeatedly told her cousin Lily, making the 'hot' list wasn't about buying expensive clothing. You needed to have an eye for what fabrics, lengths, and colors looked good together and the flair to make your selection appear like it came off the runway in Milan. Lily was a 'wannabe'.
In fact, everyone in Rose's family were 'wannabes' except Dominique and Louis, who had a certain savoire faire from their French ancestry that helped push them up into the 'hot' category. Rose was tempted to add Albus to the 'hot' list too, but until he stopped hanging out with his best friend and fashion train wreck, Scorpius Malfoy, it just couldn't be done.
Malfoy was on the 'not' list. He had been at the top of the 'not' list since the day that Rose developed it back in second year and had never budged from that position. It wasn't that his clothing was old or of poor quality or even mismatched, it was simply ugly. He wore jumpers with winter scenes knitted on their fronts, trousers made from striped and plaid fabrics, and robes with colorful embroidery around their hems. The entire effect was so hideous that Rose had never been able to get beyond it and clearly see the personality of the boy underneath.
At least she hadn't until one day in seventh year when Scorpius stopped her on the stairs. "I want off your list," he told her, a hint of backbone in his voice.
Rose glanced at him. His robes were trimmed with green ribbons shaped like snakes. She closed her eyes tightly to try and block out the revolting picture it made. When she reopened them, Scorpius and his repulsive snake ribbons were still there. "Impossible."
"Why?"
"Because you are not hot."
"I know."
His comment made Rose look up from his robes to his face. He had a crooked smile, gorgeous light grey eyes, and fine blond hair that needed a cut. She noticed for the first time that he could possibly be attractive if he had been born with only a head and neck. Unfortunately, he'd also been born with a body that he insisted on covering with rejects from Bjork's wardrobe. "If you know you're not hot why are we having this conversation?"
"I need to get on the 'wannabe' list."
"Why?"
"There is this girl that I fancy and she sets a lot of store by your ratings."
Rose felt a headache coming on. She'd really didn't want to have this conversation. "Look, Scorpius, the lists mean nothing. They have no influence. They are just a reflection of the current state of people's appearance and dress. If this girl you fancy won't go out with you, it isn't because you are on the 'not' list, it is because the way you dress has made you not hot. The list only indicates that. Do you understand?"
Scorpius tilted his head slightly, as if he were thinking. Rose waited for him to argue. After all, she'd had this same conversation with Lily a hundred times and Lily never got it. She never figured out that what mattered wasn't the list, but what you did that got you on the list. Rose could put Lily at the top of the 'hot' list and that would still not make her hot.
Much to her surprise, however, Scorpius appeared to understand. "So it's the way I dress that has made me not hot?"
"Bingo," Rose replied with a tiny smile. She moved to step around him, but Scorpius caught a hold of her wrist.
"My mum buys my clothing."
Rose looked horrified. "You're seventeen years old! Why don't you purchase your own robes?" She leaned toward him and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Is she color blind?"
Scorpius shook his head slowly. "No. I don't think so. She's never said. Besides, I don't know anything about clothing; I just wear what she sends me. Are they really that bad?"
"Worse."
He looked disappointed. "What can I do?"
Rose bit her lip. She didn't want to be Scorpius' fashion consultant. It would ruin her objectivity as the maintainer of the lists. Still he looked so pathetic that she couldn't completely abandon him. "Are you spending Easter hols with Albus?"
He nodded, looking a bit confused.
"Alright, bring your things over to my house Thursday morning and I'll see what I can do."
"Really?"
"Sure. But don't tell anyone, I do not want to have the entire school coming to me for fashion advice."
His brows furrowed. "I thought they already did that?"
"I don't want more people coming to me for advice."
"No problem," he smiled his crooked smile again. "I'll stay quiet. See you Thursday."
0-0-0
When Thursday morning of the Easter holiday arrived, Rose was anxiously awaiting Scorpius' arrival. It was silly for her to be nervous. Although he would be the first boy who'd ever be alone with her in her room, it wasn't like they were attracted to each other. For Merlin's sake, he fancied some other girl and Rose was just being helpful to one of her cousin's friends.
Of course knowing these facts didn't stop her heart from racing when there was a knock at her door. "Hi," Scorpius said with a smile. "Hugo let me in downstairs."
Rose nodded, noticing for the first time that he was tall and slender without being gangly. Of course, it wasn't surprising that she'd failed to notice before, given the way his dreadful robes camouflaged all potentially attractive aspects of his appearance. Today's selection was yet another homage to bad-taste, a well-cut black robe, with bright yellow lapels and a matching yellow lining. She couldn't conceal her shudder of revulsion.
Scorpius looked down at his outfit. "That bad?"
"It has good tailoring and the fabric is first rate, but the colors," Rose's lips quirked slightly upwards. "It's just a bit too much."
Scorpius glanced down at his lapels and frowned.
She pulled out her wand and gestured towards his outfit. "May I?"
He nodded and then watched as his lapels turned black and his lining became midnight blue. "So drab is more attractive than colorful."
"Sometimes. You can wear color, but it needs to be in a moderation and it needs to complement your skin ton. For example, you could wear a bold blue shirt under your black robes or with solid colored trousers. But you wouldn't want to match it with patterned slacks or a bold jumper. And you should always stay away from reds, yellows, and pinks. Understand?"
Scorpius shook his head. "Not really."
"Well, it's a process. What else did you bring?" Rose asked, taking his duffle from him and dumping it out on her bed. The mismatch of styles and colors and fabrics made her wince.
"Hopeless?"
"Of course not. It's just seeing all those ghastly items together in one pile made me a little woozy."
Scorpius chuckled and then spent the next hour taking notes as Rose transfigured his clothing and helped him coordinate outfits for the next two weeks. By the time they were done, he was exhausted. "It seems like a crime to spend so much thinking about what to wear when you could be playing Wizard's Chess or studying or just hanging out."
Rose smiled. "But all of those activities are so much better when perfectly well-dressed. I never feel more tranquil or self-assured than when I am confident about how I look."
"So if I wear this clothing for the next couple of weeks I'll make it off your 'not' list."
Rose nodded. "Yeah. You're lucky. All your problems are just on the surface and can be solved with just a couple of tweaks in the way you dress. If I wanted to significantly change the way I look, I'd have to figure out how to control my hair, or get rid of my freckles, or grow bigger breasts, nothing simple so simple as a wardrobe change."
Scorpius looked shocked. "You must be kidding. I like you just the way you are. You are attractive, and smart, and friendly. I can't imagine why you'd need to change anything."
Blushing, Rose looked at him shyly. She wet her lips to speak, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Rose? What are you doing?"
"She's helping me get dressed," Scorpius called out.
The door slammed open. Standing in the hallway with his hands crossed over his chest was Ron Weasley.
"Um… hey, dad."
Ron looked at a fully dressed Scorpius, all the clothing scattered over Rose's bed, and furrowed his brow in confusion. "What are you doing?" he asked again.
"Rose is helping me choose some outfits for the next couple of weeks. I'm bit of a hopeless case and she is really good at this kind of thing."
Ron raised his eyebrows and stared at Rose.
"It's kind of a public service," she shrugged.
He shook his head. "Fine. Just make sure to keep the door open."
"Daaaad!" she whined.
"Rooooose…" he replied mimicking her tone.
"That's alright, Mr. Weasley," Scorpius said. "I need to head back to Al's soon, anyway." He started repacking his duffle bag as Ron turned away from the bedroom and walked down the hall.
Rose cleared her throat. "I hope this helps," she told him with a faint smile.
Scorpius looked baffled.
"With the bird you're interested in."
His faced cleared. "Oh, yeah… I'm sure it did a lot of good. Thanks, Rose. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this."
"Well, just follow my instructions, wear these outfits, and you'll be fine," she told him, reaching out to touch his arm but drawing back at the last moment.
0-0-0
In the two weeks after Easter holidays, as Scorpius followed Rose's fashion advice, he began to attract significant attention from the female population at Hogwarts.
"Malfoy looks good," Roxanne said, as she watched him stride past the Gryffindor table the morning of the Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff Quidditch match.
Rose mumbled something, but didn't bother looking up from her oatmeal. She was frankly a little sick of hearing about how attractive Scorpius was now.
"You are going to have to put him on the 'hot' list, Rose," Lily giggled, bumping her cousin with her shoulder. "Everyone is talking about his transformation. Of course, I'm taking credit for it."
That made Rose look up. "What? How are you responsible?"
"Well, he was staying with Al when it happened. Obviously prolonged exposure to my good-taste rubbed off on him," Lily smirked.
"I'd like to rub off on him," Roxanne purred. "Scratch that. I'd just like to rub on him."
Lily laughed.
Rose shook her head. "I thought you were dating Rich Thomas?"
"Do you see a ring on my finger?" Roxanne replied, her voice tinged with attitude.
"My bad," Rose replied. She gazed across the Great Hall and caught sight of Scorpius seated next to Charlotte Goyle at the Slytherin table. She wondered if Goyle was the bird he'd been trying to attract.
"I really think as a result of my aid to Scorpius, I should get on the 'hot' list, too." Lily opened her eyes wide and blinked at Rose.
"Merlin, Lily. I haven't bought your sweet and innocent routine since I was seven. What makes you think I'm going to start believing it now?"
Lily stuck out her lip in a pout. "I just want to be on the 'hot' list once!"
Rose took a deep breath. "I've told you before that the lists don't matter. They don't give or take away from anyone. They are just a reflection of reality."
"Whatever. Are you posting them after the Quidditch game today?"
Rose nodded. "Yes, just like I have for the last six years."
"Good," Lily responded. She grabbed a piece of toast before heading out to the pitch. "Don't forget what about taking into account my aid to Scorpius when you figure out my spot on the lists."
Rose wanted to bang her head on the table.
"At least she's persistent," Roxanne said.
"She's a moron," Rose replied, picking up her jacket and heading outside.
As Rose sat in the stands at the game, she surveyed the crowd for any last minute changes to her fashion lists. The wrong shoes or the right scarf could easily get one knocked from 'hot' to 'not' or vice-versa. While looking around that she noticed Scorpius headed toward the stands wearing a hideous navy jumper with a large golden Snitch stitched on its front. She felt something akin to panic as she glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed his fashion faux pas. When it was clear no one else had yet seen him, she about broke her neck climbing down from the stands.
"Scorpius," she hissed as he started to walk past the edge of the Gryffindor stairs.
"Rose?"
She grabbed his arm and pulled him underneath the stands. "You have got to change your jumper!"
He looked down at his chest. "I know it wasn't on the approved clothing list, but…"
"No buts!" she whipped out her wand. "This is never going to do."
"Stop!" Scorpius grabbed her wrist to keep her from transfiguring his jumper. "My mum sent it. She's going to be here today and I don't want to disappoint her by not wearing it."
"But you can't wear it," Rose replied, sounding almost frantic. "I can not move you off the 'not' list if anyone sees you dressed like that."
He dropped her wrist and ran his hand over his jumper. "Really? Just one mistake in two weeks will keep me on the 'not' list?"
Rose nodded. "Perhaps if you didn't have a history of dressing like a blind orangutan, it wouldn't be so bad. But your appearance today could easily be a sign that you are slipping back into your old habits."
Scorpius nodded. "I understand. It's okay. I'm going to keep this on for my mum and you do what's necessary."
Rose felt her eyes start to sting and for the first time ever, she wanted to take her lists and feed them to the giant squid. "I'm sorry," she stated with a slight quiver in her voice. "I really hope this doesn't mess up your chances with the girl you like."
"It will be okay," he shrugged. As he turned to walk away, Rose caught a hold of his arm.
"Scorpius, you once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. You're kind, you're smart, and you're fun to be around even when you're wearing the stupid things your mum buys you. If this bird you like doesn't recognize all these great things about you because of some stupid list, then I really think you should consider pursuing someone else."
Scorpius turned slowly. He looked shocked. "You like me just the way I am? Hideous jumper and all?"
She nodded jerkily. "More than like, really," she stated in little more than a whisper, her eyes on the ground. Rose sensed Scorpius moving and tensed slightly when his hand lightly gripped her chin, raising her eyes to his.
"Thank you."
Rose blushed and looked confused. "What are you thanking me for?"
"Because it worked. All your focus on my clothing and style helped me attract the girl I was interested in."
Rose's stomach suddenly felt full of lead, if she didn't get away from him soon she was going to be violently ill. Still she couldn't help but torture herself with the details. "Oh well, that is fantastic. Who is she?"
Scorpius leaned close to her, his lips just a breath away from hers, "You."
The End