Title: Always and Forever

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, it all belongs to Joss (he is evil but he is a god nonetheless), the WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy (Grrr Arrrg). Please don't sue, I have no money, so all you'd get is a creepy cat...

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Chapter 1

"God, I thought I was dead," Buffy muttered as she brushed off her clothes. She raised her eyes to meet those of her Watcher and two best friends. They were looking at her very strangely, and Willow was trembling. "What?" Buffy asked. "What's with the long faces?"

"Buffy, you...you're a-" Giles couldn't finish his sentence. A blood-chilling fear passed through Buffy's body at his words.

Oh, God, she thought. A vampire? Is that what I am?

Trembling violently, she raised her hands to her face, and gasped when her hands touched flesh disoriented by deep ridges. She lowered her hands to her mouth, and felt the new addition to her teeth – sharp, pointy fangs.

Oh, no, Buffy thought. Just like my nightmare... Shaking with fear and disgust – disgust of what she had become – Buffy turned her back on them so they wouldn't have to look at her.

"No," Willow sobbed. "No, she can't be..."

Buffy turned back to them. "No, Willow, don't," she cried. "It's not like that. I'm not like the rest of them. I feel like...I don't feel like I need to kill a human." She shuddered. "I couldn't do that. Kill another human? The thought terrifies me. I'm not a killer. I have a soul; I can feel it."

Giles and Xander reached forward and they each took one of Buffy's arms as she swayed as if she were going to fall over.

"You have a soul?" Giles asked. "You're still on our side?"

"Of course," Buffy said. "Must have something to do with me being a Slayer or something. But even though I'm still playing for this team, I'm still dead. Undead. Dead. Whatever. I'm still just like the rest of them."

Oh, God, came a little voice in her head. Is this what Angel goes through? It must be. This is what he must feel every day of his life.

"Buffy, we found out who is causing all this havoc," Giles told her. "There's a little boy, Billy Palmer, in coma in hospital. He's the one causing all our nightmares to come true." He cleared his throat a little. "You – uh – you never told me you dreamed of becoming a vampire."

Shaking slightly, Buffy turned to him. "I didn't," she replied. "This is real."

An uncomfortable silence settles over the group until Buffy roused herself. "Right," she said with a smile full of pain. "Let's go see this kid."

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Well this chapter is kind of a trial to see how many reviews I get. So if you want to read more, let me know!