Hey guys! So this is chapter two. I go to school four days a week and most of my time/energy is focused on that so this story will be updated sporadically. I'll try and update it hopefully once a week. I write whenever I can, but we all know how life can be!
I wanted to go back and tell the story of how the two women got started in everything, so this is my take on it. I plan on continuing until the story catches up to the first chapter, but if you guys would rather me go even further back into the start of the story I will try my best to do that and rearrange the chapters later on. I hope you guys like this chapter! Let me know what you think and what you think should happen in future chapters.
I don't own Criminal Minds or anything related to it, but the ideas the characters go through are mine.
Emily drove the black SUV expertly. She had to argue with JJ about driving before they even got off the plane and finally won when she said the mental activity would wake her up after the quiet plane ride. She was following behind Morgan and Reid with Hotch and Rossi in the car behind them. These were no brainer decisions, each duo working together perfectly in order to come up with ideas as to why an unsub may be doing something. But this case was different, Garcia was only able to give basic information about each victim, considering how small the town is where the murders were located, they were still using paper records. This little blip in their normal routine made it so they discussed everything they could already on the flight over, which now resulted in somewhat silent car rides.
It was in the middle of June, smack dab in the center of Arizona. They didn't even have to be out of the car to feel the heat radiating through the metal, sweating as the AC blew on full blast. JJ had already put her hair up to try and cool down some, letting her neck breathe as Emily carefully wiggled out of her coat jacket, still managing to keep one hand on the wheel as she did so. As the older woman threw her jacket haphazardly onto the back seat, the blonde fiddled with the radio, getting only static. She turned it off with a sigh and looked out at the desert scenery. They had an hour left of their drive to the small town that held the stabbings.
The car was quiet, which didn't bother Emily as she was busy being break checked by Morgan every five miles, but she knew the blonde had something on her mind. The younger woman switched between staring out the window and playing with her phone, lifting up and around the car to get signal, sighing frustratingly every time, giving up and dropping the device in her lap. A minute later she would grab it again, starting the process over. Emily knew the younger woman well enough to know that something was seriously bothering JJ, but she didn't want to try and get her to open up just yet, so she left her to her routine.
Although, she figured she could try to get the blonde to laugh, ease the obvious tension her mind and body seemed to be in, so when Morgan yet again stepped on the brakes, she yelled. "God damnit, Morgan! Stop slamming on the brakes!"
There was a laugh pouring out of the intercom, one that could only belong to the cocky agent. "Hey, calm down Princess, I'm just trying to make sure the vehicle is up to code for us."
The brunette rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically before Hotch's voice appeared. "Morgan, stop messing with Prentiss before she rear ends you. Buying the Arizona PD new vehicles is not in the BAU budget."
There was another laugh, this time from Emily and Reid. "Yes, sir." Morgan replied, slapping Reid so an "ow" was heard throughout the raido.
When the younger woman didn't even let out a chuckle, Emily leaned over to mute the intercom, turning it down to lessen the chatter between the rest of the team, but still loud enough to hear if their names are said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
JJ continued to stare out the window, but noticed the older woman turning off their communication with everyone. "Talk about what?" There was a defensiveness to her voice, one that Emily only knew as JJ being mad.
"Why you're so quiet and didn't even laugh when Morgan got yelled at by Hotch." She glanced over to the blonde, seeing her jaw set and fist clench. "You aren't upset about me driving are you? Because we can pull over and you can hop behind the wheel…"
JJ shook her head, putting her elbow on the door and leaned her head in her hand, eyes closed. "No, it's not about you driving."
"Okay. Then, what is it?" She continued to glance over at the younger woman to keep gauging her body movements, just in case she might push too far and have to backtrack quickly.
The blonde lifted her head and lowered her hand to her mouth, absentmindedly biting the skin around her thumb nail. "It's nothing. It's stupid." She angrily talked around her thumb before dropping her hand back down into her lap and sighed frustratingly again.
"It's not stupid if it's bothering you." JJ swung her head to look at the brunette, eyebrow raised. "I'm serious, Jay. If it's bothering you it's not stupid."
"What's bothering who?" Rossi said over the chatter of Morgan and Reid arguing over something.
"Girl stuff." Emily was quick to say, seeing the younger woman's eyes go wide at the fact they could hear them. "I thought I turned the voice part off Reid which button do I hit?"
"The second one on the right, but why would you-"
"Got it." She clicked the button and the green light for the voice receiver shut off, signaling that they were now, officially, free of being heard. "You don't have to tell me what's going on, but I'm here if you wanna talk, and none of the boys or Garcia will be listening in."
JJ faced forward, thinking. She took a few minutes to stare at the bumper of the car in front of them before opening her mouth, just to shut it again and stare for another two minutes. "Will and I broke up."
The blonde had said it so quietly, Emily wasn't sure she heard the younger woman say anything at all. "You guys broke up?"
JJ shifted in her seat, pulling on the seat belt to loosen it as she cleared her throat. "Well, he broke up with me, but yes."
Emily could feel her heart breaking for the younger woman. Even though she had never been a big fan of Will, she supported them because she knew he made JJ happy. But now, to see how he had recently just hurt her best friend, she was feeling the red-hot anger from not being able to protect the blonde from it all. "Jay, I'm so sorry." She tried to sound as sincere as possible, keeping her anger in check until she could unleash it out at the gym. If the small town they were going to even had a gym. "When did this happen?"
"Yesterday." She said flatly, looking down at her lap, playing with her phone, turning it over and over in her hand as if she was afraid of staying completely still. Emily glanced over at the younger woman, then back up to the car in front of her, watching Reid's shadow point out random things to Morgan. All she could notice were the crazy amount of cacti peppering the side of the road and went on as far as you could see before everything blurred together in the horizon.
"I'm really sorry, Jay. When we get home we are ordering the biggest pizza, getting tons of ice cream and all the alcohol you want and all that stuff. We'll even get Garcia and we will have a girls night." She knew she was rambling, JJ now fiddling with the AC, moving it so it blew on her face, but she didn't know what else to say other than she wanted to kill Will, but she figured the blonde didn't want to hear that just yet.
"That's the thing. I…" JJ bit her lip, trying to process what she was going to say, unsure how it would sound. "I don't really need to eat a ton of ice cream and wallow."
Emily felt confused. She knew that a normal girl would want to eat ice cream and wallow after going through a break up, and just because the members of the BAU came face to face with death didn't mean they were emotionally stunted. "Why?"
The blonde was silent again, turning her attention back to the desert outside. Her eyes darted from cactus to cactus, curious as to why anyone would want to live in such a dry, hot place. And after ten minutes of the younger woman watching the horizon, Emily assumed the conversation was over, Until JJ spoke up again, her voice flat and unemotional.
"I was going to call you yesterday, before he ended it, to talk about me breaking up with him. But… he beat me to it."
Now it was Emily's turn to be silent. Over the last year or so of JJ and Will bring together, the younger woman didn't show any signs of being unhappy. Quite the opposite actually, she smiled so large her eyes would wrinkle whenever his name was brought up. She couldn't come up with any reason as to why JJ would suddenly feel different about her relationship.
"Wait, why? He didn't…" She cleared her throat, swerving on the road slightly to avoid running over a dead animal. She lifted her back off the seat to let her sweat soaked shirt feel some cool air, just to lean back down and reach her hand to adjust her own air vent. "He didn't cheat on you, did he?"
The blonde shook her head, allowing the brunette to release the breath she didn't know she was holding. "I just, I don't know… It didn't feel right anymore."
"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Emily's voice was almost sad, hurt even. It was as if she was upset that JJ didn't include her on what was going through her mind that was obviously troubling her for awhile.
"Didn't want to make my relationship something everyone would profile. Plus, I didn't really know if I was serious about wanting to end things or if I was just nervous about how serious everything had gotten." She started waving her hand about, emphasizing each point she was trying to make with a jab into the air. "And then he said the thing he said and I just knew it wasn't right and I got mad but before I could say anything, he said it and now here I am, in the middle of Arizona, single, and I'm not even that upset about it. At least, not as upset as I think I should be."
Emily tried to keep up with JJ's rambling, but got stuck on one thing she had mentioned. "What did he say that made you so angry?"
JJ bit her lip, looking back down at her lap. "Just, something. He used it as his reason for breaking up, but whatever."
The brunette knew she could push the younger woman one more time until she completely shut down. "Jay, what did he say?"
"I don't want to talk about it." She turned the intercom back on, signaling the end of the conversation.
Emily just nodded, respecting her wishes. But when the blonde put her hand on top of the center console, she carefully slid her hand into JJ's, squeezing it. The younger woman gave her a small smile when they made eye contact, showing Emily she appreciated the silent support. And much to the older woman's surprise, JJ squeezed her hand back when she went to pull away, keeping their hands together on top of the console for the rest of the journey.
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Garcia had only been able to get the team four rooms, which means the two women were bunking together along with Reid and Morgan. Whereas the two boss men, Hotch and Rossi, got their own separate rooms. The four of the roomies didn't mind, knowing Hotch and Rossi were the most experienced and basically ran the team, they deserved their own separate rooms. Plus, JJ and Emily were used to having to share a room, being the only women on the team, whenever the situation arose where they had a limited number of sleeping areas, they threw themselves together, making it easy on the team.
They entered the room to only find one bed in the center of the back wall with two night stands on either side. There was a small table with two comfortable looking faded wooden chairs in the corner and a dresser looking object with a small tv perched on top. The walls were a dull yellow that clashed with the worn lavender carpet and the blue and white zigzag curtains that barely covered the length of the window. There were random giant daisies posted throughout the room, the edges starting to peel off and turn a gross brownish color.
"Well, it has… character." JJ said, shrugging as she looked around the room with a slightly disgusted look on her face.
"I don't care what it looks like as long as it has an air conditioner and doesn't smell like dirt." The brunette closed the door as she walked to the right side of the full size bed, claiming her side for the next few days. She dropped her go-bag on the bed, pleased to see that the bed, although covered in a floral daisy comforter, seemed to keep its shape under the weight of the bag. She secretly hoped it would be comfortable enough to get some sleep in this overly hot desert town.
The younger woman put her bag on the other side of the piece of furniture, laughing. It might have seemed twisted, but the act of talking about the case and investigating leads had managed to clear her mind of Will and everything that happened with him. At least for the time being. But, it also didn't hurt that Emily was doing her best to make her laugh. "Still got sad in your clothes?"
Emily and JJ had taken Morgan with them to the first crime scene that happened to be located just outside town. The body was found on to of a sand hill, and when the three agents arrived, Morgan had gently shoved Emily, making her slip on a rock. The trip resulted in her tumbling down the hill, and when she finally stopped rolling, she sat on the dir for a few minutes as she spit the sand out of her mouth. JJ tried to help her get as much of it off her clothes without the older woman stirpping, but she still felt some grains rubbing against her skin. Morgan, on the other hand, was laughing so hard he nearly lost his footing and almost slipped down with her, but instead he promised to buy her lunch for a week in order to get his karma balance restored.
"No, I changed as soon as we got to the department and some nice intern took my clothes to get cleaned, so it will be interesting to see if I ever get those back." She unzipped her bag, pulling out her pajamas. They had had dinner as a team and Hotch decided to let them check into the hotel and get some sleep so they would be refreshed for tomorrow morning. "You want to take a shower first?"
JJ shook her head, waving the idea off. "No, you're the one who rolled in sand, you go get clean first."
"No, no. I'll probably end up getting sand everywhere so I was going to have housekeeping clean it tomorrow." The brunette shrugged, running a hand through her dirty hair and felt small grains of dirt, making a disgusted face as she detangled her fingers from the knots.
JJ snorted. "How much of a tip are you leaving?"
Emily knew she was teasing but rolled her eyes anyway. "To clean up my mess? A reasonable sized one." The two women laughed together, sending a bolt of electricity throughout Emily's body, something that happened whenever she heard the blonde laugh. But, she ignored the heart pounding feeling, nodding her head to the bathroom in the left corner. "Go, I'm going to see if I can get that ancient tv to work."
JJ gathered her things, slipping into the bathroom as the older woman found the remote to the tv. Once inside, she finally allowed herself to think about what had happened in the car, why she felt so nervous to tell EMily that her relationship ended? And why had she refused to let go of her hand? Emily is her best friend, and it wasn't like breakups are weird or something, they occur all the time. Perhaps she was just worried. Worried that now Emily would be worried about her and want to keep a close eye on her in case she were to randomly break down in front of everyone. Worried that the rest of the team would find out before she was ready to tell them anything. Worried that maybe she should have fought harder for her relationship with Will.
But, deep down, as she rinsed the cheap hotel shampoo out of her hair, she knew everything she told herself didn't have any truth to it. She knew Emily wouldn't be worried about her unless given a real reason to worry. With the team, even if they did find out, they wouldn't bring it up unless they knew that she was ready to talk about it. And she especially knew that there was nothing for her in her relationship. What she told Emily in the car had been true, it didn't feel right anymore. There was something missing, and she couldn't figure out what it was.
As for the hand holding, that was simply her looking for comfort in her best friend that she knew Emily would understand. Sometimes you just can't be vocal about something that is bothering you, but still need support to know that you aren't going crazy. That's all it was. And the reaction her of her heart pounding wasn't butterflies or anything, it was just her hoping Emily would understand and allow her to just be in that silent moment with the comfort she so desperately needed. Or, this is what she tried to convince herself, anyway.
She slipped on her pajamas, having just realized the real reason she had this unsettling feeling of worry, and it was from fear that Will was right. Of course, as soon as that thought popped in her head she shoved it aside, taking the towel and rubbing it on her head not only to dry her hair, but to try and wipe away the idea that Will had caused about the brunette sitting on the bed in the other room.
When she opens the door, she finds the older woman sitting on the bed, using a paperclip to try and get the dirt out from underneath her nails. JJ ran a hand through her damp hair as she grabbed her phone charger and then picked up her bag and set it on the floor. "Find anything good?"
The brunette looked up at the tv showing someone chopping up carrots. "Just the food channel. Want me to turn it off?" She got up, grabbing the clothes next to her on the bed.
JJ shook her head, connecting her phone to the charger she plugged into the wall and pulled the covers back, climbing into them. "No, you can keep it on." She smiled at the brunette.
"Alright. I'm gonna go get this dirt off." She turned around as the blonde laid her head down on the pillow.
By the time Emily rid herself of the sad embedded in her hair, she walked out of the bathroom to find the blonde sleeping peacefully. She laughed quietly, grabbing the remote and switched off the tv before setting the alarm, shutting off the lights and crawling into bed alongside the younger woman. As soon as she relaxed, she felt JJ move, turning on her side to wrap an arm around the brunette's waist and nuzzled her face into her neck, still asleep. Emily was a little taken aback at first, it wasn't normal for the blonde to cuddle up next to her like this while she slept. Sure she had rested her head against Emily's shoulder during flights or while waiting for something in a conference room, but never something this intimate.
She didn't know what to think, between this and the hand holding in the car, Emily was starting to wonder if JJ really was okay. The younger woman had always been key on silent body contact to let the people around her know she cared, but something about this felt almost desperate. It was as if the blonde was trying to soothe an ache she didn't want to admit. It left Emily wondering even more about what Will had said, and if it had anything at all to do with her. And why had she felt relieved when JJ had said they broke up? She knew she didn't like Will, but she kept that a secret. And why did her heart pound so hard when JJ had kept her hand in place while driving? What was going on with her body in order to respond with this tingling sensation whenever the blonde smiled at her today? She hadn't experienced these feelings toward JJ since Will came into the picture, and by then she was able to push it down so far they barely even existed, and if they did show up it was easy to ignore them. So, why when she finds out that JJ is single and seeking her for comfort since they are best friends, are these long buried emotions coming back to cause her a headache?
She could have stared up at the ceiling all night thinking, but she was tired, and the air conditioner had kicked on to blow out freezing air around the room, making her shiver slightly. She sighed, pushing all thoughts of Will and JJ and anything else out of her mind, only wanting to sleep and enjoy the warm comfort the small body next to her was providing.
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Emily opened the door to the SUV, helping the younger woman into the car. JJ hissed when she pressed her back to the seat, the burn still tender.
They had caught a lucky break in the case when they woke up, getting a tip that helped them solve the case. But, as they were entering the unsub's house, JJ was taken by surprise and had a hot iron rod pressed into her back, burning her. Morgan had tackled the guy to the point where he was barely able to keep his eyes open when the paramedics came as JJ sat on the floor in tears, Emily ripping the shirt to see the damage to her skin. And as much as the blonde just wanted to get on the jet and go home, Emily forced her to get checked out at the hospital, listening intently as the doctor gave her instructions for JJ's medication. Now that she was released, Emily volunteered to drive them both to the jet, meeting the team there as she wanted to keep a close eye on the younger woman personally.
The first half of the ride was silent, JJ dozing off as the pain medication the hospital gave her wore off. "I'm sorry for um… cuddling you last night." She lazily turned her head to the side, heavy eyes looking right at the brunette's profile. "I guess it's just a habit."
Emily glanced over at the younger woman, giving her a small smile. She adjusted in her seat so she was leaning her right arm down on the center console, her left hand controlling the steering wheel. "The AC was set low so the room was kinda chilly. I didn't mind cuddling for warmth." She laughed a little, hoping to ease the tension in her own voice.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure it was awkward for you." JJ said, her voice low and raspy from sleepiness.
The older woman shot her eyebrows up, curious. "Why would you say that?"
"Because of what Will said." The blonde waved her hand in front of her body, as if this information was obvious to them both already.
Emily understood that JJ wasn't in her complete mind at the moment, but she wondered if she should ask the blonde what Will had actually said. She was curious to know what the southern charmer had told the young woman in order to upset her so much, but Emily didn't know if she would be crossing a line since JJ made it clear yesterday she didn't want to say it. Although, in JJ's mind right now, she already had.
"Remind me what he said again?" She bit her lip, hoping JJ would tell her without any trouble.
"That you're the person I should actually be with, considering I'm secretly in love with you." The words rolled off her tongue like it was no big deal, like everyone already knew.
Emily though, didn't know what to say. She wanted to chalk it up to JJ being slightly out of it from the medication, but there was a part of that secretly hoped it was true. Although she knew it would never happen, she couldn't seem to get the idea out of her head after the blonde cuddled with her last night.
"Why… why would he say that?" She was trying to keep her voice steady, not wanting to tip off the almost unconscious blonde that she might have thought the same about her.
She waved her hand again, rolling her head to look straight out the front of the window. "Because he's always been jealous of you." The blonde shrugged. "And before you ask it's because I accidently told him I'm attracted to you."
"JJ…" Emily trailed off. As much as she wanted to tell the younger woman everything that was going through her mind, she knew that in a few hours JJ wouldn't remember the conversation. So she held everything in, pretended what the blonde was rambling on about didn't matter to her even though it did. But after a few minutes of the blonde replaying the conversation she had with Will she took the last pain medication the doctors had given her for the flight home, per Emily's request.
"I mean, I told him that it wasn't true. I mean, yeah I'm attracted to you but like, I don't like you like that. You're my best friend!" JJ had been repeating the same sentence for the past five minutes, her eyes now closed as she started to drift off to sleep, allowing Emily to drive to the airport in silence.
She wished JJ hadn't told her these things. That JJ hadn't told her she was attracted to her, that Will broke up with her because he thinks she's secretly in love with her, that she would have asked her out if Will didn't come into the picture. Emily didn't want to have these thoughts in her head, especially when she wasn't sure if it was the younger woman talking, or the medication.
By the time they got to the airport, Morgan was already waiting outside the jet for them. He helped the sleepy blonde onto the jet, carrying her to her favorite seat next to the window. Emily had followed behind them, taking their bags to set down near the couch, Hotch nodding to her once she was on board.
"Alright, JJ. You can go ahead and sleep." Morgan sat down, taking her under his arm as she moaned when he accidently hit her burn. "Oh, sorry. Are you okay?"
"Emily…" It was quiet and barely audible, but the look on the blonde's face when she saw it was Morgan hugging her made it obvious he wasn't the person she wanted to sit next to. She pushed away from him, eyes heavy and hair a mess, finding the brunette standing off to the side. "Emily."
This time everyone heard it, Morgan moving out of the seat to allow the older woman to sit down. Once she did, the blonde immediately cuddled into her, getting as comfortable as she could on the small airplane seat. When the team shot her a confused look, Emily shrugged, allowing the younger woman to fall back asleep as she cuddled in close to her. The team left the two women to sit for the flight home, also leaving Emily to venture off into her mind about what the blonde had said.