I miss the old days.

I miss the days when there was only right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, with no shades of gray in between. I miss the days when it was easy to see who was good and who was bad, because Voldemort was bad, and Dumbledore was good. There were no blurred spots, no confusion; it was just cold, hard facts.

I miss the days when I didn't look at my classmates with suspicion and wonder if they were Death Eaters or not.

I miss the days when making it to the Great Hall for dinner wasn't a huge relief, because I lived another day.

I miss the days when Harry laughed and smiled, when Ron played chess, when Parvati and Lavender gabbed about makeup, when all there was too worry about was homework and tests.

I miss those days so much. Because now, Voldemort has a past, a history, he's human, he's not just a monster, he's a boy driven to destroy the one thing he's hated, the very people who've made his life miserable; the Muggles. Because now, Dumbledore's motives are shady, his methods are ruthless, his eyes aren't twinkling, and now, right now, he's dead. And now I realize there's no such thing as Light Magic and Dark Magic, it's all about intention. Now, my whole world is not just black and white, there are shades of gray now.

I miss those days so much. Because now, I look around at my fellow students, and I wonder if that girl over there will betray us tomorrow, or if that boy sitting in the corner will die in the battlefield. That's what we are, really. Boys and girls forced to grow up too fast.

I miss those days so much. Because now, I fear for my life. Not the adventurous kind of fear, like in first year; no, I'm feeling the helpless kind of fear. What if I get killed while I'm sleeping? What if Voldemort is planning to abduct me? What if I don't live to see Harry and Ron again?

But most of all, I miss those days, those days when Harry wasn't thinking about if Voldemort was going to declare war tomorrow, those days when the only kind of strategizing Ron had to do was in chess, those days when petty things like makeup and tests and homework was all we had to worry about, when Voldemort wasn't back, when everything was either black or white.

Because now, there are shades of gray.

A/N: This story sprouted from the phrase 'shades of gray'. It's post-HBP, and Hermione POV.