Title: The Magic of Christmas

Pairing: Jate

Rating: T for now; will get M in later chapters ;)

Status of Fic: WIP

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Author's Notes: This is written for all the Jaters out there, for I cannot even wish for more amazing group of people to share this journey with than you all are *hug* Originally, it was supposed to be a Christmas gift for all of you, but due to some…uhm…technical problems (that I will reveal later, ´cause I don't want to spoil a surprise), it couldn't be done for Christmas, so I decided to leave it as the New Year´s one.

This whole fic was inspired by the beautiful song of Sarah McLachlan – Wintersong, so I would advise to all of you to listen to it while reading this fic, ´cause it really manages to evoke the right spirit. (and ´cause I want you to know it by heart by the last chapter *shifty*, when a little surprise is waiting for you) I´m not sure about Fanfiction´s policy about linking to other sites, so I won´t do it, but – just type the name and the singer in youtube toolbar and I´m sure you´ll find it ;)

Anyway, that would be it…for now. :)

Let´s finally go back to the story and - here´s a toast that 2009, even though it doesn't rhyme as well as 200J8, is another amazing year for Jate!

The Magic of Christmas

CHAPTER 1

She felt a tear sliding down her cheek as she watched him sleep. His hands were crossed on his chest, his eyes closed, his head leaned a bit sideways, his cheeks lovely shade of pink. He looked so peaceful, so innocent, so full of that faith in the magic of Christmas that only kids had. Another tear slid down her cheek as she realized she wasn't able to give him what he wanted the most: Jack.

Her mind flashed back to the conversation they shared before he fell asleep.

˝Hmmm…how about…this one tonight? ˝she said, going through the pile of books lying on his nightstand and picking up Alice in Wonderland. She knew it wasn't the best thing to do, ´cause it would only get harder for both her and Aaron, but despite being angry at Jack and hating him for leaving them, she still wanted him to be a part of their lives, even if just spiritually; and she couldn't bring herself to deny both of them that chance, especially not on Christmas. She looked sideways at Aaron expectantly, but he shook his head.

˝No, Mummy, Jack will lead that one, tomowwow. ˝he said seriously and she felt her heart breaking. She had tried to explain to him a couple of times that Jack wouldn't be back; and he had even given it up for a while; but as Christmas started approaching, he started to bring it up again, convinced that Santa would bring him Jack back.

˝Sweetie…˝she said carefully, laying down the book and lifting him to move him closer, so he was now facing her. ˝I don't think Jack will be here tomorrow. Or any other day. ˝she added sadly. ˝He loves you very much, ˝she hurried, swallowing down tears, determined not to break down in front of him, ˝but he...he…˝she paused, not sure how to continue. How to explain to a three year old who worshiped him like no one else what Jack had become. She took a deep breath and continued. ˝He´s in a very bad place right now and… and I don't see him coming out of it soon, okay, sweetie? ˝

He looked up at her, his big blue eyes digging into hers and Kate felt her heart breaking a bit more. He reached up and brought his little hand on her face; then, without saying anything, gently wiped away the tear that had somehow managed to escape her eye, in spite of her efforts. ˝Don´t be sad, Mummy. ˝he said cutely, and, still tracing the path of her tear with his finger, looked up at her and said: Can I tell you a secwet, Mummy? ˝

She chuckled, amused at his seriousness. ˝Sure, bud. ˝

He leaned forward, his hands on both sides of her neck. ˝Yestewday in pweschool, we wlote lettews to Santa. We dlew snowmen and laindeels and then Mws Cole helped us to wlite down what we wanted for Cwistmas. She told us to keep it undel the pillow and that Santa would bwing that to us on Cwistmas day if we wele good. ˝he explained seriously, and a ball formed in her throat, sensing where this was going. He got off of her lap, and crawled to his pillow on all fours; then returned back and settled himself on her legs, offering her something. She took the folded paper and he leaned forward, pressing his little hand on her face and whispering in her ear. ˝And I wished fol Jack. ˝he said as she unfolded the paper, her hand going to her mouth to suppress the cry as she looked down on it. There, in messy child´s handwriting, it said: dEaL sAnTa, I WaNt JaCk. ˝See, Mummy? I was a good boy and Santa will bwing us Jack back. ˝he said as if it was the most logical thing on planet and Kate had to try very hard to force back the tears that were threatening to spill every second.

She thought about convincing him some more, but she knew she would be fighting the lost battle: when it came to stubbornness, he definitely inherited it from his uncle. So she took a deep breathe and decided to leave it for now, although aware that she would have to talk to him about it more deeply. ˝Okay, buddy. ˝she finally said, hoping that the present she had bought him would be sufficient to take his attention off of the disappointment he would surely experience the next day when he wakes up and not finds Jack there. ˝But…can you promise Mummy one thing? ˝she asked, playing with the buttons on his pajamas. ˝If you don't find…Jack tomorrow, don't be mad at Santa, okay, ´cause sometimes even Santa can't make everything come true, okay? ˝

He watched her intensely for a couple of seconds before he finally nodded. ˝Okay, Mummy, I pwomise. ˝

She smiled and kissed him; then got up and helped him get under the covers. ˝Okay, time for sleep now, sweet pea. ˝she said as she tucked him in.

She leaned down to give him a kiss; and he wrapped his little arms tightly around her neck. ˝I love you, Mummy. ˝

She smiled and hugged him back. ˝I love you too, sweetie. So much. ˝she whispered as she pulled away, placing herself on the chair and leaning back as she watched him drifting to sleep.

˝I´m sorry, baby, I´m so sorry. ˝she whispered quietly, tears now streaming down her face, blurring her vision as she silently cried next to him, her hand on top of his. After a couple of minutes, she finally managed to calm herself down; getting up and leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. She reached for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it off; then headed for the door, turning around to look at him one last time. As she stood there, her mind flashed to some other time, time when she way happy…when they were all happy.

`Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual…´she heard his voice as she approached the door, stopping at the doorstep to watch him read to Aaron; her lips stretching in tender smile at seeing how natural he was with him.

She closed her eyes and reopened them again, trying to force back the memory, because she knew it would hurt even more. But it was easier to say than to do, ´cause the remainders of him were everywhere she would go. She looked at Aaron one last time; then silently closed the door behind…

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Hope you liked it! The more reviews, the faster the update will be ;)

Once again, Happy New Year to all of you! *grouphug*