I see her flowing dirty blonde hair glowing from the sun that shines through the apartment fanned across the pillow she's sleeping on. The urge to run my fingers through her locks is too great to resist.
"Mmmm," she stirs at my ministrations, turning over to face me and smiles, "Good morning Gale." She trails her hands across my chest hair, "How was it last night?"
"What?" I say distractedly, loving how the sheets don't fully cover her body leaving me a wonderful view of her breasts. A hard smack to my head gets my attention back on the subject,"Ow!" Stormy blue orbs glare back at me. I groan and prop up my elbow on the mattress all the while trying to concentrate at looking just at her face. I absently rub the spot where she hit me, "Last night?" I try to think furiously before she does something else like push me off the bed.
She interrupts my train of thought, "Yes, the girl you fucked. Don't you remember?"
I rub my eyes and stare incredulously at her, struck silent for a minute before I ask, "W-what? I-I-I don't—"
"Black hair, brown eyes, short height?" she shakes her head disapprovingly and sighs sadly, as if disappointed at my lack of remembrance. "Oh c'mon, Gale. It's not hard to see you're still pining over your best friend that you have to resort to finding some girl who resembles her and fuck her to satisfy your need of having someone who will never feel that way about you."
Her mock laughter echoes in my head as I shoot up from the bed. I immediately regret that action for the pounding headache I now sport and feel my heart beating at a rapid pace resulting from the nightmare. Stumbling out of bed I run to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face and neck. I don't have to look in the mirror to know my face is shit. I take it as a success that I don't throw up this morning compared to all the other times I've found myself on the bathroom floor from a night out at Haymitch's Bar.
Just when I have convinced myself it was all a bad dream, a silhouette leans against my bathroom door. "Who the fuck is Madge?"
Fuck, great. "Get out." I bend down over the sink, maybe I will throw up after all.
The tall brunette scoffs, "Should have known better. Have a nice life, fucker." She takes her clothes with her and makes a big show of slamming my cabinets and the front door as she leaves.
I head to the kitchen and grab a glass of water and chug it down my parched throat. Standing there, I can't help but reminisce on memories me and Madge shared; the times she surprised me when she'd drop by in the morning, her stretched out form on the couch eating pancakes with strawberries topped with whipped cream scrolling through the tv channels as if she lived here or our study books stacked on top of each other, wearing her cute reading glasses in the afternoon as we did our homework together while I made us dinner.
Walking to the living room I sit down on the couch and caress the seats, thinking back to our fight a few days ago..
"I fall against her heaving breasts and wait for my heartbeat to slow after our quick fuck. Pressing a kiss to her chest, I throw my arm around her and almost drift off to sleep when she nudges me gently, "Gale, I think we need to talk."
"About what?" I murmur.
"My face rose and fell with her inhale and exhale, "Do you still have feelings for Katniss?"
"I'm now wide awake. I freeze for a second, trying to find words but I can't.
My hesitance to her question doesn't help as she climbs out of my arms without waiting for my response. Putting on the clothes she had on previously before I ripped them off her moments ago, she accuses "It's true isn't it!"
I step off the couch and try and grab her arm but she slaps it away, "Madge wait-"
"NO! I'm done!"
"For fuck's sake Madge STOP!"
"WHY?!" she laughs without humor, "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you do not have romantic feelings for Katniss Everdeen?"
I stare down at her with furrowed brows and tell her no but even I can tell it's a lie.
Madge steps back from me, tears falling down her heartbroken face, "Why her? What does she have that I don't? Why aren't I enough for you?" Her mood suddenly changes to anger. I have to put my hands up in defense as she hits any area she can reach, yelling, "I hate you!" over and over again. Heaving from her attack on me, she heads to the door defeated and rejected. In a defeated tone she says, "I can't be with someone who treats me like second best," and slams the door behind her.
I shake my head in shame. I thought I could forget my love for Katniss by losing myself in Madge, hoping to fall for her and stop getting my heart broken but that all ended in shit.
Meeting Madge for the first time, I actually thought I felt something there, which made me keep seeing her. She was different; smart, beautiful and sexy. She definitely made me work to get her attention and finally accepted my numerous invitations to go on a date with me. Thinking back, I can catch the times when I would always mention Katniss, whether it be an accomplishment or just casual talk. Madge would have a look in her eye and shut down on me for a while. I sigh, it happened a lot recently. I sink down on the couch and run my hand through my hair.
My phone lighting up on my dresser catches my eye when I eventually come back into my room.
1 missed call from PrincessMadge
Her screen name flashing across the screen, which I have forgotten she programmed into my phone's contact list to replace, in her words "just plain old Madge", steals my breath away. I consider calling her back but I'm too much of a pussy to dial her number and find out, probably more accusations of how much more of a fuck-up I am. Instead I fall on my bed unceremoniously, wondering what to do to fix this.
...
Two weeks later
After a while of sitting and moping around my house, Katniss calls me. Turns out Mellark was sneaking around and Katniss wasn't having it.
Putting my problems aside, I ran over to her place and comforted her. I always knew Mellark was too perfect and would show his true colors eventually. I both hated and loved that he had to do it to my best friend. Now I can tell her my hidden feelings- tell her I loved her from the start and will never let her go. What better place to come clean than our usual meeting spot, Sae's Cafe.
I figured ignoring my intentions to Katniss wasn't going to help me at all. Madge made that clear to me. I'd be stupid not to take this chance at being something more with Katniss. Doesn't hurt the fact that Cheater Mellark is out of the picture for good.
I'm sitting at our table whispering "don't be a wuss" to myself as my best friend walks through the door. Her hair in its usual braid, her face cleared of makeup and wearing her dad's old hunting jacket. She carried a woodsy scent with her as she sat down across from me.
"Hey Gale," she smiled. The waitress came by with a menu but Katniss waved it away and let the girl know our order. Then she turned to face me. She opened her mouth to say something but I beat her to the punch.
Better late than never.
"I have to tell you something. Please don't say a word until I finish, okay?" at her nod, I reach for her hands and squeeze them. Swallowing my nerves I blurt out, "I want to be more than friends. I want to hold your hand in public. I want to kiss you so much so I can finally know how it feels to be kissed by you and keep kissing you anytime I want. I want more with you. I think we'd be good together. Take a chance on us."
Sitting there, waiting for a reaction from her, I couldn't help but think of practicing this in the mirror yesterday; how I envisioned this scene playing out. Her eyes would be glistening with tears, struck silent by my declaration and saying yes to everything. Instead, she looked spooked. "Uhh, I'm finished now?"
She blinked furiously and released a breath of air I didn't know she was holding. Rubbing circles on the hand I still held, I flagged down our waiter and asked for water. Katniss gulped it down before sputtering, "I-I-I'm getting married Gale."
My heart dropped into my stomach. All I could hear was dream Madge's guffaw, her taunts about Katniss coming true. What the hell? Marriage?! Where did that come from? It took me a minute to gasp out, "Who?" even though I knew the answer.
"Peeta, of course," I fell against the back of the chair heavily as she continued, "It was all a misunderstanding. He was getting help from his friend Madge," my head shot up at her name, "about trying to plan out how he would propose, buying the ring and hiding it from me. He confessed he loved me and couldn't lose me again and popped the question a few days ago." A smile that stretched for miles appeared on her face, shattering my heart even more. That's how I wanted her to look at me.
"What happened to Madge?"
I closed my eyes. I can't do this. I need to leave.
Katniss tried to get me to stay but there is only so much I can take. I stumbled out of the place, the world tilting on its axis as I trudged along the sidewalk until I made it to the end of the street. I hailed a taxi and practically fell inside the car, throwing a few twenties at the man and yelling "Just drive!"
Pain. Anger. Hopelessness. Those were the emotions I was experiencing the most of at the moment. The most pain. I started hyperventilating, reaching for the headrest to keep me grounded. Tears of betrayal fell down to the dirty floor of the car but I didn't care to hide it. Everything hurts. Leaning against the glass window, one thought crosses my mind. I give up on happiness.
...
Discovering I was in downtown Panem, I tell the driver to stop. I stepped into the first building I passed. A bar. Lucky me. The inside was dimly lit, a few patrons milling around. Climbing on a stool, almost falling in the process, a woman comes into view.
"Hey! You okay buddy?"
Ignoring her question, I ask if she can get me some alcohol. "Surprise me." She comes back and I take a large gulp of the drink. It hits me so hard I already feel the effects in one sip. Looking up, I'm face to face with a round-faced woman with the most breathtaking cerulean eyes that I momentarily forget where I'm at, or maybe that's the alcohol in my system. A wayward curl falls in her face, blowing it to the side she tilts her head, squinting at me.
She says straightforwardly, "You look like shit. Why are you staring at me?"
I get defensive at her questioning, "Why don't you walk away?" I practically bark at her however she doesn't move a muscle, nor is intimidated by the glare I shoot at her. Huffing and caught off guard I ask, "Why are you staring at me?"
She leans away and hops down the counter, her huge breasts bouncing from the jump to my satisfaction. The woman smirks at me, "You stared first. Thought I'd make you squirm," moving to the other side of the counter, she grabs a glass and begins filling it, "Might want to hide the fact that you stared at my breasts by closing your mouth buddy," she giggled and left to serve drinks to the other waiting customers as I fought the blush at being caught.
I stay at my spot all night, nursing my drink and trying to contemplate if moving is the best option than sticking around this hellhole. Hours pass until nightfall when the bar/club becomes crowded with rowdy people. Draining the last of my beer, I start moving off the stool when the bartender from earlier stops me.
She demonstrates to come closer and yells in my ear to be heard amid the loud music, "Dance with me!"
I start shaking my head no but I can feel her tugging me to the dance floor.
At my raised eyebrow she explains, "You're too intoxicated, sweat it out!" She then proceeds to wrap my arms around her curvy body and moves her hips side to side. My stiffness goes unnoticed. Blondy presses herself closer to my body, "Just let go and FEEL!" Her smile is so white and pretty, it illuminates her face.
In my buzzed state, I take her advice- let go and just feel. My hands grip tighter on her hips and we move to the beat.
A few songs pass and I admit this is better than I was expecting this night to go. I never thought I would be laughing so soon after getting my heart broken but here I am. I blame my drunkenness.
No-name tugs me out to the front doors of the bar, leading us around the corner and laughs uproariously, "That was fun, right? Did you enjoy yourself?" The streetlight make her eyes glow even brighter.
"Distracted me more like, but yeah I guess so." I sober up quick, without the loud music and clamoring crowd surrounding me I was reminded of the reason why I wanted to escape reality for a moment. "Listen.."
"Delly."
"Right, Delly. Look, thanks for trying to cheer me up. I have to head home now, but nice meeting you." I started leaving halfway through, throwing my thanks over my shoulder as I ambled toward the bus stop. Delly gets in front of me, blocking me from leaving.
Her smirk is back, "Don't I get to know your name?"
"It's Gale. Now can you please move?"
"Okay, Gale. Though I'll call you Mr. Hotness." Delly let me pass, though it took me a second to wrap my head around her boldness. She followed behind me, much to my annoyance. I'd asked her to leave me alone but to no avail. All the way to my apartment Delly stayed by my side.
Climbing off the bus, she cleared her throat softly, "Why do you look like a kicked puppy, Mr. Hotness?"
I rolled my eyes and stared straight ahead.
A hand shot in front of me, stopping me in my tracks, "Was it a girl?" I walked faster. "Aha! It is!"
Delly then proceeded to pester me with even more questions. My silence doing nothing but encouraging her more. Reaching my apartment floor, Delly still asking me what was wrong.
I finally lost all control. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Delly just stared at me, her eyes watering and lips trembling at my harsh tone.
"GOD! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! GO HOME."
She turned down the hallway where she dug in her purse for a set of keys, unlocked the door and disappeared inside.
Fuck. What did I just do?
Immediately, I felt horrible. She was just trying to help me, like dancing with me back at the bar. Banging my head against the door, I wonder how I got to be such an asshole to scream at an innocent human being.
...
She's bartending again tonight. I try catching her eye, hoping she's not ignoring me since I've been waving my hand in the air like an idiot for the past ten minutes. I see her wink at me after a minute and point to one of the tables on the side.
She bounces in her seat as she sits down, drawing my eye to her breasts again. I'm starting to think she's doing it on purpose. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Mr. Hotness?" I would have been convinced of her bubbly attitude if she had delivered a smirk, not a close-lipped smile, at the nickname she adopted for me.
I sigh, "I'm sorry for yelling last night. I wasn't in the best mood and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
Delly glances to the side, then I saw it. Her smirk. She hid it from view, hoping I didn't catch it. She proved my point when she turned around and frowned. "I was just being friendly." Her eyes were dancing with mirth when she made eye contact with me. I covered my eyes and groaned.
"I'm sorry, alright?"
Delly laughed so hard she snorted. For some reason, I liked it. I didn't know what that meant and refused to dwell on it. "Apology accepted. Now," she got up from her chair and stretched her hand out to me, "let's go."
"Where?" My eyes flitted to her hand and her hopeful face.
"Hell if I know, just c'mon! Live a little." That smirk was growing on me and I couldn't say no if I tried.
We walked around and talked some. I asked her the question that I've been wanting to ask her since last night, "Why did you speak to me, did things to distract me?"
It made her open up about the time when her ex dumped her and having had no one around. She fell to depression.
"It took a few years and a trip to a psychiatrist to accept life goes on," she kicked a rock to the side then drew her eyes to lock with mine, "You looked like I did and I couldn't stand by and not do something. I wanted to make you feel better, not let the darkness consume you. You were pretty hot looking too, I had to try." Shrugging, Delly batted her eyelashes.
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent the laugh I felt bubbling inside, though I turned the other way to hide my blush.
After that day, we met up at the bar she co-owns and everyday we found something to do and something to talk about. Anything to distract myself. It worked some days.
Delly tentatively asked a few weeks later why I was so heartbroken the night we met. After revealing the truth to her, she opened her arms and let me cry on her shoulder.
Just as she let me in when her bad days came around the corner, I didn't push her away when I had my bad days, I let her in.
...
It's been two months and Madge hasn't said a word to me. I texted her twice asking her if we could talk. No response.
I gave her space, as Delly and Katniss urged me to do. I just can't get her out of my brain.
Peeta doesn't know anything since Madge hasn't spoken to him after our breakup. I thought he would come after me for losing his best friend but I'm still alive.
Katniss explained the reason why to me when he still hadn't heard a peep for months, "He thinks she wanted to sever all ties to you and me. Peeta believes she'll come to her senses and reach out to him but he didn't look sure. He doesn't blame you, Gale." She squeezed my arm reassuringly and left to do more wedding planning.
I officially give up when I find her surrounded by a group of people, particularly closer than normal to a guy in a baseball cap. He wraps his arm around her waist, holding her so tight. The way I did before. I leave before she spots me staring dejectedly across the street.
We don't talk anymore.
...
A few months later
Mellark being cordial with me is about the weirdest thing to ever happen. Though I try to bug him with nicknames or just being my normal self to get a rise out of him until Katniss kicks me out of their house. It felt good talking to my best friend like I used to before I spilled the beans about my love for her. I finally accepted the fact that nothing would change between her and me; accepting what is. With that hold on me gone, I had to deal with another matter. Possibly falling for my friend. Back to square one. Fuck me.
Knocking on Delly's door, I wonder what kind of dress she will be wearing to the wedding in a matter of days. "Delly?" I shout.
I hear her jittery footsteps before she yells, "YES, MR. HOTNESS?!"
Sighing in exasperation, I can't stop the grin from crossing my face. She still uses the same annoying nickname, embarrassing me every time with its use. "Delly, open the goddamn door before I kick it open!"
I hear the click of the deadbolt and Delly emerges, her smirk on full display. "Don't try to impress me," she begins fanning herself as I walk in and settle on my chair at her kitchen table. "What do you have for me today, Mr. Hotness?" batting her eyelashes, she bent down, giving me a view of her breasts.
I tsked. "Don't tease me, Delly. Besides, I have a favor to ask," God, her breasts are amazing. I sometimes don't look when she blatantly shows them for fear of my face revealing how much I enjoy the view. I always see her smirk falter a little bit but I might just be imagining it.
"Hmmm," she moves to the stove, grabbing our dinner and setting down our plates on the table, "What's this?" Delly snatches the wedding invitation from my hands, studying its contents meanwhile I use the time to really look at her. "GALE ANTHONY HAWTHORNE, are you asking me to be your DATE?!" her cerulean eyes find mine and I smile softly at her eagerness.
"Well, woman, will you?" Her sudden gasp catches my attention. My palms start sweating and my throat closes up.
Her hands land on her face as she says, "I don't have a dress for a wedding. Gale!" she whines my name and I smirk at her, stuffing my face with mashed potatoes to mask my disappointment.
...
Why me? A beautiful woman in an eye-catching light blue dress that reaches the floor is on my arm and I have to suppress the urge to kiss her senseless.
"Psst. Do I look good?"
I take a moment to stare at her, from head to toe. Fuck, woman. "You're the most gorgeous woman in the room." Her lips stretch into a breathtaking smile, my knees feel weak for a second.
She jabs my side, "the girls?"
I shrug, "Shame they had to be hidden, but amazing as always." I feel a poke on my side and I answer with a wink in her direction. She squeezes my arm as we enter the backyard of the wedding reception. We find the new bride and groom on our way to our seats. Delly greets them both happily. I steer Katniss away from Peeta and Delly conversing in the corner and quietly share my fears.
"I-I think I like her. I just don't want to be wrong again-"
"Hey," Katniss grips my shoulders, "How do you feel when you're with her?"
Closing my eyes, I think. One word comes to mind. "Permanent."
"Then go to her, keep her and never let her go. I know she feels something about you too. Don't think, act."
Nodding and giving her a hug, Peeta takes Katniss away so they can go around and say hi to their guests.
Peeta and I shake hands, him giving me a smile. "Go get her Gale," gesturing towards Delly's direction.
Delly has caught a few men's eye since we stepped foot at the party so I'm a little tense when she sees me. "You okay?"
I brush the stubborn curl that always clouds her vision away from her face and answer, "Perfect." A throat clearing behind Delly draws my attention from her. "M-Madge?"
She cut her hair and got a tan but otherwise nothing's changed. I was still staring at her when she asked, "How have you been?"
I blinked, hoping this is all a dream.
"Um, uh, good, great. You?" My hand moved in Delly's direction but I caught air, not her soft touch. She left. It hurt that she didn't say a word to me or offer any comfort. But I know she was trying to give me space.
"Alright. I wanted to talk to you if you had a minute?" We retreated to the gate that led to the front of the house. "Gale, I'm sorry I haven't..it's just, I needed..we both needed space," she searched for words, "After what happened, I thought what was best is to leave. Try to move on. That's when I found Thom." Her expression lit up at the mention of his name, "He's everything to me. Treating me right, always puts me first. Loves me. What I was missing for so long in our relationship." Madge steps a little closer to me, smiling sweetly, "I heard you made a friend." Her eyebrows danced, laughing softly as we both observe Delly who is dancing absurdly with a guests' daughter. "It's good, Gale. Not the type you go for though I can definitely see how well she compliments you."
"Gale," the seriousness in her tone commands my attention, "I came back because I left without closure." I'm suddenly overwhelmed by her vanilla scent, bringing back a flood of memories. She whispers in my ear, "Can I have a kiss goodbye?"
Throughout her whole conversation, I felt the familiar pull to Madge that I had when we were together. It has diminished over time, but with her here it brought it to the surface. All the feelings. I realize now that this kiss will close that door to my past and pave the way for my future one with someone else. So I kiss her. A small peck.
"Goodbye Gale."
"Bye Princess Madge." It was the last time I'd ever say it. Her nickname causes a tear to fall, "Take care of yourself."
Peace. Overwhelming peace. I can breathe easier now. I try not to dwell on the sadness of her departure, only remember what she gave me. Another chance at love, with the right person this time. I'm running around the backyard, then retreat inside the home to find my Delly and pour my heart out to her before it's too late.
I find her scanning the paintings Peeta made hanging on the walls, her fingers hovering over the waves of a beach painting when I come up behind her and whisper in her ear, "Pretty isn't it?"
In a dream like voice, she says, "So pretty," her hand falls but I grab her shoulders to keep her facing the painting.
"Wait," I can't resist touching her soft shoulders for a minute while I have the chance, "My relationship with Madge wasn't concrete. It was bound to end sooner or later. I didn't see it at the time that I was settling, but I don't want to settle. I want..no, I need a woman that I feel 'permanent' with. That's my Delly. My beautiful, outspoken, sexy-OOF!"
She turns in my arms so fast I lose my grip on her. In that same moment, she jumps in my arms, catching me off guard and we tumble to the ground.
With tears in her eyes, she fists my shirt in her hands and says, "What took you so long?"
...
"Again," she rolls her eyes, "please?" She lifts the sheets to reveal all of her naked glory. I growl,
"My god woman, you're breathtaking." We go another round until she pants, "Time out."
Sighing, I kiss her neck softly, "Yes, ma'am." We lay contently for a few minutes in our post coital bliss. "Don't freak out. I think I have come up with a nickname for me to call you. What do you think about Mrs. Hotness?"
Kissing my head she sighs deeply, "Are you trying to say something, Mister? Do I hear bells ringing?" She giggles at her own joke while my eyes zero in on her breasts. The need to be with her again overwhelms me.
"We'll discuss that later. Is Mrs. Hotness ready for a bath?" I begin massaging her lovely breasts as she lays there enjoying my ministrations.
"Only if Mr. Hotness joins her. He might have to wash me, I'm very dirty." Delly grabs my neck and drags me down to meet her kissable lips.
"If I must," I throw her over my shoulder and smack her butt.
She smacks mine back, "You have a cute butt, but mine is better."
"I'll agree to that, Mrs. Hotness."
...