Disclaimer: BA326 does not own InuYasha. It is accredited to Takahashi Rumiko and VIZ Media.
Kagome was walking through the forest one day when a bird knocked into her head. The next thing she knew, she didn't know. Anything. InuYasha ran up to her after her five-hour long disappearance and asked where the hell she was.
"RAPE!" she screamed, and suddenly, a man with sky-deep blue eyes and fur wrapped around his body in the fashion of clothing came bursting out of a tornado, growling at InuYasha.
"I knew it!" he yelled.
"Ah, dammit. What now, Kouga?"
"I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your dirty paws off of my Kagome. Come on, Kagome. I'll finally take you away from this mutt."
Kagome, not knowing a thing as to what was happening, shrugged. "Okay," she said with a cheery smile, and together, Kouga and Kagome skipped off in the distance.
"The hell?!" InuYasha cursed. "KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And he cried for many days and many nights. Some associate this period with Noah's Ark, as the earth was covered in water from InuYasha's dreaded, heart-breaking, nose-leaking, eye-tearing cries of forty days and forty nights.
The days passed. Again. Dry and tearless.
InuYasha finally decided to come out of his emo corner to find a way to redeem himself. He planned for many days and many nights (40 more, actually) before he finally, officially decided upon a course of action. He would present her with the greatest gift of all time. Ramen.
Finding Kagome's enormous, yellow backpack, InuYasha hauled ass to Kouga's den in the mountains. Upon arrival, he noticed that all of the wolf demons were hiding behind boulders, supposedly shaking from fear. He approached one of Kouga's henchmen, Ginta, and asked, "Dude, what's your problem?"
Ginta gasped. "Gasp! InuYasha! Thank the gods! Please, take your wench and leave! She's been trying to give all of the tribe baths, saying that we 'smell putrid.' It's so HORRIBLE," he cried.
InuYasha smirked. "Of course, I will. Where is she?"
"Aha! I found you, you gross, little mongrel!" came a voice.
InuYasha turned around just in time to get splashed with a bucket full of water. Growling, he turned around and yelled, "What the hell?!"
Of course, as everyone suspects, it was Kagome. She dropped her bucket at seeing her victim and screamed, "RAPE!"
And of course, as everyone suspects, Kouga came out of another random tornado, cracking his knuckles, obviously ready to protect his supposedly "new" mate. "What are you doing here, you mangy mutt?! Trying to steal my mate, I see!"
"Mate? Ha! I can tell that you haven't even touched her since you left me to cry in my misery."
Kouga backed down a little, embarrassment obvious in the blush on his cheeks. "Okay, so there were a few technical difficulties, but I'm working on it. She'll be mine for sure tonight."
"Excuse me," Kagome interrupted, "but I am not going to be anyone's possession. No one is touching me until all of you take a bath and swearing man there leaves." She said the last part while glancing at InuYasha.
A shocked look of heart-breaking, depressing, lonely, unbearable sadness was evident upon InuYasha's face as he held his chest as if she shot a soul-shattering arrow at his heart. "But, my dear Kagome, I mean no harm. I even brought a welcome gift in apology for my rudeness." InuYasha chuckled on the inside. All this time hanging around with the perverted monk was finally paying off.
"Oh, give it a rest. I can tell that you're chuckling on the inside, happy that your time with some perverted monk is finally paying off."
InuYasha's jaw dropped past toes before he managed to pop it back into place. "But, it's true. I brought you this!" InuYasha shoved the Godzilla backpack in her direction, offering her a pathetic smile.
"You brought me a gaudy and unnecessarily humongous bag in reconciliation? How typical of a guy."
"No, it's INSIDE."
"Show me."
InuYasha sighed as Kouga laughed, hoping to dispel his embarrassment from earlier and regain his manhood. InuYasha opened Gargantua, the bag, and pulled out the first thing that felt like a ramen package. Figures he wouldn't actually look at it to check before putting it on display.
Kagome gasped in joy. In his hand, InuYasha held up a clear, cylindrical container containing a bright orange loofah sponge. She started to run for the loofah when she tripped on the bucket, landing face flat on her face.
InuYasha and Kouga ran to help Kagome up. "Hey, are you okay?"
"Darling, are you hurt?"
"Huh, yeah, I'm fine. Kouga? What are you doing here? Wait, why am I here at the wolves' den? InuYasha?"
"Yes!" InuYasha yelled as he began to do some sort of victory dance.
"Oh, darn," Kouga said in defeat. Suddenly, loud cheering could be heard all over the den as Kagome recovered her memory and, consequently, would no longer try to give everyone and their momma a bath.
"Don't worry about; let's just go home, Kagome."
"Um, okay. See you later, Kouga, Ginta." And InuYasha and Kagome skipped along their merry way back to Kaede's village.
A few weeks later, Kagome was walking through a forest - this time with InuYasha – having pleasant conversation. Suddenly, he grabbed her fiercely into a fiery and passionate embrace, causing sparks to erupt all over her body, especially in the pit of her stomach. InuYasha stared intensely into Kagome's eyes, turning her limbs into gooey, useless Jell-O. If it wasn't for that strong hold that InuYasha had on her, Kagome would have fallen into a puddle of sublime bliss. He whispered her name sexily, "Ka. Go. Me."
As their lips were about to connect into a wet and sloppy first kiss, a familiar bird came and swooped through the tree, colliding into Kagome's head, sending her too quickly into InuYasha's face. InuYasha immediately released Kagome as he held his nose in pain. "The hell?" He saw the bird that caused him trouble and took the blood that dripped from his nose and "Blades of Blood-ed" the creature, slicing it into nice, thin slivers.
Kagome looked up at the aggravated man with a nosebleed and yelled, "RAPE!"
A sudden tornado approached their position. "I knew it!" came an irritating voice from the tornado.
"Aw, damn it!"
Okay. So this is my crack fic to bring in the New Year. It was written with the help of a dear friend, Rock Nye. It was started late at night and was finished late at night. This is basically a spinoff on all my InuYasha fanfiction since I cannot let the whole "Kagome has amnesia" bit alone. I mean, seriously, three out of four of my InuYasha fanfiction have Kagome getting amnesia, one way or another. And in Engaging Enemies, it's similar since Kagome forgets about a lot of her childhood (you don't know that yet). But yeah, this is just a crack fic, for a few shits and giggles, as my friend stated before. I hope you enjoyed it!