You know that feeling you get when you disappoint someone you love? When you feel so ashamed of what you did, you almost want to scream? I have that feeling right now.
Even as I look at him, guilt courses through my veins. I couldn't look him in the eyes. The one time I did, I saw hurt. He couldn't believe what I did. I talked to Sebastian, even after everything I did. I couldn't stop talking to him, even though he tried to hurt the one I love. Even though he injured me and made me get surgery. I still kept talking to him.
"Why? Please, just tell me why?" Kurt asked, the hurt he felt laced in his voice. I tried to swallow the lump that was stuck in my throat, but it wouldn't budge.
"I don't know."
I knew that he was staring at me in disbelief. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I...I have been practicing a song. It portrays what I'm feeling really well. I really want you to listen."
I nodded to the band behind me, who started playing.
"Life's too short to even care at all, oh.
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control, oh oh
These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum
Oh
If I could find a way to see this straight I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down."
Kurt stared at me with sad eyes as I sang my heart out. I could see the thoughts whirring around his head. I just really hoped he understood what I was trying to say. I closed my eyes.
"Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm coming up now, coming up now out of the blue, oh
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart
Oh oh oh oh
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh oh
If I could find a way to see this straight I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
And so I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control, oh oh"
I bit back tears, too afraid to look at Kurt, too afraid of what he might do.
"If I could find a way to see this straight I'd run away
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now
So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down
One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh whoa
One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh whoa"
My vision blurred as tears finally came pouring down my face. I turned away from him and stared at the wall, hurriedly wiping the tears away. I couldn't let him see me like that. It was my fault that our relationship was in tatters.
Hoping that the high we normally felt around each other to come back was silly.
To my surprise, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked to the owner of the hand to see Kurt. I really hadn't expected him to go anywhere near me.
There were no tears in his eyes, only a sad look. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Blaine, I love you so much. I don't want you to ever forget that. I know we've had...issues with Sebastian, but we've gotten through so much already. I don't want to let you go. I never want to let you go."
A small kiss was placed on my lips. I wanted it to linger forever, but it left nearly as fast as it was placed. I looked at Kurt in the eyes, hopefulness filling my body.
"Even with that said, I can't so easily forgive you for talking to Sebastian again. He hurt you and you still talk to him. You betrayed my trust. I- I can't easily forgive you for that. I'm sorry, but I...I can't be with you if you are going to keep talking to him."
My heart crumpled. I strained to find something to say, but I couldn't think. I couldn't breath. I felt as though all the color had been taken out of the world.
He let go of my shoulder, gave me a sad smile, and left. I jumped when I noticed the tears sliding down my face. I didn't even realize they were there until I heard my sobs. After what felt like an eternity, I ran out, tears cascading down my cheeks. I had failed him.
This was based off of the song on Glee episode 3X14, On My Way and the fact that this episode is supposed to have a lot of things happening in the episode.
There is some speculation of Klaine possibly breaking-up, which is where this came from. Also, when I first heard Darren singing this, this was the first thing that popped into my head, mostly by the last line. I feel as though they are saying they want to come out of the high they've been under, but they either can't, or when they start to, they are too scared and want to go back into the high.
Some of the emotion in this is based solely on the fact that I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated, so this week's been kinda crappy. Especially since this was on Valentine's day...
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my first Glee story! There shall be more, I promise!