Damn It, I Lost My Powers
Edward loses his mind-reading ability. How will he cope with his newfound "normality?"
1. A Recent Lapse of Sensibility (OMG)
How foolish I am. In a recent lapse of responsibility (and sensibility, Bella later added), I took on the most unwise, imprudent, thoughtless bet of Emmett. Why didn't Alice warn me? Oh, yes, of course; I nearly forgot. She is still angry and sullen at me (well, I did sort of video tape Alice talking to her teddy bear and post it on the vampire version of YouTube [we call it VampTube – very original and creative, aren't we?] for the entire immortal world to see, but honestly, A, she should have seen me do before I did it. She has physic powers for Pete's sake. And B, the video only got one million hits. Although considering that is quite a number with the current population of vampires in the world, she just might have a reason…). But perhaps now I should tell my audience about my situation.
Flashback
I am so proud of myself. I managed to fend off two mountain lions and a grizzly. And it only took me ten minutes to kill them all and bring them back to the dinner table. I wonder why Esme has become so into this whole "eating as a family at the dinner table" mania. I think it rather silly. But she is my second mother. Naturally, Rosalie was so surly at the "meager" meal I brought home. But I keep myself content by imagining her coming out of a fight with three predators and finding her usually perfect hair in such a mess. Such a thought keeps me smirking across the table to her during the duration meal. Well, that and her frustration at not knowing what kept me so amused. She is such a vain, funny thing. Poor Jasper was practically bipolar throughout the meal. Rosalie's sadness at the small meal, anger at me, and my happiness and joking mood must have had him on an emotional roller coaster. He was taking turns beating on the grizzly, dancing with the mountain lion, and sobbing into Alice's blouse! Did I mention that I videotaped that, too?
We finish our scarce meal and head off to do our separate activities. I head towards the piano. Alice to her design book, Rosalie to the garage to finish tuning up Carlisle's car (never satisfied with our cars' current states), Emmett and Jasper to the chess table (containing eight boards and sets with its' own complicated rules), Carlisle to his study, and Esme starts her never ending cleaning. Bella was out at the mall shopping for Charlie's birthday present.
I am only at the piano for a short time when Emmett and Jasper stride over to me. Emmett leans onto the instrument and I cringe. He is always leaving fingerprints on its' glossy surface. And he knows I hate it. I stop short in my playing and glare at his meaty fingers drumming on the plane. I wouldn't mind so much if it were at least a beat in sync with my playing. But I figure that Emmett has no sense of rhythm. He eventually stops and my anger lessens a smidge as I wipe the level surface clear of smudges. Jasper stands at his side calmly but with a spark of amusement in his eyes.
"What do you want?" I utter crabbily.
"So touchy!" Emmet says in a tone I can only describe as mocking. How I long to beat him to a pulp. But I won't antagonize Rosalie anymore. Not today. "And we were just coming over her to have a nice conversation!"
"What kind of bet do you want, Jasper?" I ask flatly.
Emmett groans. "Did you lose focus again?" What a child he sounds like! That whining is so annoying! Jasper thinks. I stifle a chuckle. It seems like we all become annoyed with him at times.
"Sorry!" Jasper defends. "I got distracted by his anger!" he finishes, jerking his head towards me. Oh yeah. The emotions thing.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you in…" Emmett mutters.
"I'm getting bored here!" I snap. "I don't have time for your arguments! So spit out what you so rudely interrupted my playing for!"
"We want to see-" Emmett starts.
"If you can-" Jasper cuts in.
"Go without bursting into someone's mind for a certain amount of time," Emmett said.
"Ha! Why would I want to do that?" I laugh unbelievingly at them. As you can see, I am still proud from my hunting fight. "I'd miss the opportunity to beat the both of you in everything! Except for pigheadedness, being an exception."
"What, are you too weak to fight fairly?" Now that angers me. I always fight fair; I just use the advantage at hand, that's all!
"You're on!" I say. I shake hands with my brothers. But while Emmett is shaking my hand, he says, "For a year…"
At once I realize what stupidity I have gotten myself into over something as little as pride and honor. But a gentleman never goes back on his word. I resign myself to the piano and play a mourning, wistful piece to attempt to lament my sorrow.
End Flashback
So now you know that even Edward Mason Cullen can have his mortal blonde girl moments. My year-long distress is nearly over. I count down the seconds.
20….19….18…17…16…
So close…
15…14…13…12…11…
Almost….
10…9…8…7…6…
There…
5…4…3...2…
Omg… (Yes, I had a moment).
1…
OMG…
0!!!!
I leap and shout into the air with joy! I can finally be special again!!! I feel such joy that I might be able to see into Emmett's mind and anticipate every move! I let the thoughts flow in, stretching my mental capacity to its' very seams! But wait. Something is wrong.
Alice flits to my side and gazes at me with worried eyes, knowing something has gone wrong. Bella comes down the stairs to see what the commotion is about and sensing the tension in the air knows that something is amiss.
Emptiness.
Hollow.
Absence.
Wrong.
Gone.
Blank.
...Normal.
What has happened to me???
A/N: Hi readers! I hope you enjoyed this. It is my first story to be posted on here but I would love constructive criticism. The complex chess board was a leaf out of Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun portion on her website, so the idea belong totally to her, as do all characters of her invention. I own nothing and any opinions expressed in here do not necessarily voice the opinion of me. Please read and review! By the way, I did not like Breaking Dawn, so this story is set before Edward and Bella got married and had their child. Bella is still human with no baby along the way. Please tell me if you like it!
2. Realization
A moment of panic grips me. A dark cold fear wraps around my beat-less heart and squeezes mercilessly. And terror twists inside my gut, dancing maliciously. I lose myself in Bella's worried eyes as she gazes back at me. I reach out to the spot next to me – desperate to find some inkling of a thought running through Alice's head. But nay. Not even an image of the future crosses into me. By this time Carlisle has come down from his study to see what is wrong. One look at my face tells him the whole story.
"Why don't you sit down, Edward, and we'll talk this out together." He says calmly. That was the one thing I envied about him. His control. I could exist for eternity and still not have as much control as him. Bella guides me to the couch as I did not look like I was going to move. I barely feel her soft, warm hands gripping my arms. The four of us sit down as Esme walks into the room and joins Carlisle by his side, glancing around the room curiously.
"There is a common belief that a lack of use of exceptional abilities can lead to the dimming of skill and then eventually the disappearance of said ability. However, never in my 600 years have I seen such a case. There have been very few cases and the ones that I have heard about I believed to be stretched beyond any possible recognition of the truth."
"So, you think that Edward's special ability has dimmed?" Esme inquires.
"Edward, I would like you to search for Jessica's or Mike's mind. You always complained at how loud their thoughts were. This should be fairly easy for you," Carlisle says, as ever, calmly. I cast out my consciousness, searching for snide voice of Jessica, the jealous rage of Mike. I let my mind flow free but my search was cut short as I found myself hit some sort of strong wall that I could not break through. Oh no, I thought, have Jessica and Mike somehow obtained Bella's strange shield to my skill? But no, I realized. I was limited by the walls of my own mind. Trapped. Is this how other people felt? I felt trapped. Isolated. Suffocating. My throat tightened as my eyes watered. But tears never came. They never do. Because with my new skills, we also let some go.
Carlisle sensed my alarm and said, "I'm sorry, Edward. But I'm afraid that because you did not use for skill for so long, it faded. The curious part is that it should have taken longer to fade, especially because you talent was so extensive and honed to almost a sixth sense. On the bright side-"
"Bright side???" I snarled. "There is no bright side to this! I'm normal! Boring I feel weak! You wouldn't understand…you've been boring your whole life!"
"Edward! Calm down!" Bella shouts at me. She had stayed silent throughout the whole discussion, as had Alice and Esme, so her sudden outburst almost shocked me. "Who knows, there may be a positive part to this if you just listened!" I reluctantly sat down, a thousand thoughts spinning through my head too quick to even finish one judgment.
"I am sorry for my outburst. It was inexcusable," I say through clenched teeth. "Please continue your evaluation, Carlisle."
"Only if you wish to hear it."
"Yes."
"The optimistic side is that, over time, of course, your talent may return to you. Until then, the only suggestion I have for you is to test the walls of your mind frequently to attempt to penetrate its' limits. I can do nothing else for you." I nodded my thanks and left the room to sulk at the dining table. Bella followed.
I rested my head on the table edge. "I can't believe I lost it," I say quietly.
"Well, you always did complain about not being able to have a quiet mind and knowing the negative things people thought about you." She said soothingly, rubbing a hand in circles across my back. But her attempt at comfort fails.
"But I would rather have the burden than be without it!" I snap at her. Then I relax. She had recoiled at my tone. "I am sorry. My anger was not justified."
"Yes it was."
"No. It wasn't. And I refuse to accept that my talent is gone."
Carlisle POV
"No it wasn't. And I refuse to accept that my talent is gone." I heard Edward's words from my office upstairs. Sometimes my enhanced hearing is a gift.
"Uh-oh," I mutter to myself. Esme speeds to my side. After all these years I am still stunned by how much I love her.
"What's wrong?" She asks worriedly, wringing her hands in the cleaning rag she was carrying. I sigh and put down my pen.
"Edward is going through what some people like to call the 'Five Stages of Grief.'" I confide in her.
"Okay, but he'll get over, right?" I hate how she sounds worried. It makes me want to whisk her away to our little tropical island and tackle all her troubles so her world may be perfect once again. But I could never take her away from our family.
"Eventually, yes." I stand up from my desk, take her hand and guide her over to the window that overlooks the backyard. We see Edward come outside and sit on a bench. Bella appears outside moments after him. "But depression is hard to overcome. It may take years, decades, even. There is no way of predicting.
"The first 'stage' is denial and isolation." And as if on cue, Edward rises from the bench and runs to a tree far from Bella (too fast for her to see, so to her she is there one second and gone the next).
"The second is anger." Esme's eyes widen slightly as we witness Edward uproot a full grown pine tree from the ground and chuck it a mile away. The event took less than two seconds total. Then he beats his head against a neighboring oak. In another situation this might have been funny, but not now. At least to me. To you? I have no idea.
"The third stage is commonly referred to as 'Bargaining.'"
Edward looks skyward and bellows towards the heavens: "I'll never sin again if you give me back my ability!!!" I do not think Bella comprehended it as he said it at vampire speed.
"The fourth stage is depression." Edward commences to wail pitifully into the ground and bang his fist on the ground. It rather reminds me of a five-year-old patient I had once that was having temper tantrum. But that was because he didn't want to have his checkup.
"And the fifth and final stage is acceptance." Edward kneels on the ground and zones out into space.
"Holy shit! I think Edward just experienced the all the stages of grief in five seconds!" I gape.
A/N: Well this is it for now. It's a bit longer than the last one, I think. I hope you like it. I hope it's funny. Unfortunately, I have to change the rating now because of, ehem, swearing. Oops. But I had to in order to make it funny. Please Read and Review! I always reply to them (unless you tell me not to, of course). Sneak peak, next chapter's title is called "Angst." It's probably going to be short, but I hope you think it humorous. It will also begin in Alice's POV, just to warn you in case of confusion. Until next time, remember, Jacob still doesn't sparkle. :]