Written for The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.
Chaser 2: Write about a canonly clever character being outwitted.
Prompts: 1. [genre] humor, 4. [word] insufferable, 14. [dialogue] "If I had a (knut) for every time (name) said that."
Word count: 1420
Cupid
The exact moment Rose feels her resolve break is a Tuesday morning when she watches Albus glance up from his work every so often to stare at Scorpius and sigh when he thinks the other isn't looking. Which doesn't make any sense because Scorpius is always looking at Albus.
This shouldn't frustrate her half as much as it does because it's nothing out of the ordinary. She deals with this on and off the clock all the time. But this lovey-dovey routine has her sick. It's insufferable. She can't stand to watch this pathetic pining continue.
She has to do something. If not for their sake, but for hers.
x
"This is the bloody worst," she declares over lunch, slamming her container of food down on the table, effectively cutting off whatever conversation Teddy and Lysander, her dear friends and co-workers, were having. A drop of tomato sauce sloshes onto the cuff of her white blouse. "I'm here to work, you know. I need to concentrate on my pitches so I can get more sales, but I can't do that with Al and Scorpius acting like lovesick fools. I almost threw up my breakfast watching them. We're not in a soap opera for christ sake. HR approves of work relationships as long as it doesn't interfere in the work environment."
Teddy, who was about to take a bite of his sub sandwich, sets his sub down. "What?" he questions stupidly.
Rose rolls her eyes, snatching a napkin from the table. Well, this shirt is ruined. Stupid Scorpius and Albus. "Keep up. I'm talking about Scorpius and Albus. We have to do something about them."
Lysander isn't as clueless as Teddy because he gives her a disapproving look.
"Shouldn't we let them figure it out? It's not a good idea to meddle in those type of affairs. They'll get there eventually."
Normally, Rose would agree because she's always been quite the romantic. Part of her does want to concede to Lysander because she'd rather not kill the flow of romance between them, but then she remembers how she sat in awkward silence today for 15 minutes and that small piece of conscience dies.
"Ly," she says, "I appreciate your opinion, but I have to do this. But I can't do it alone, so I need your help."
There's no mistaking the hesitation in Lysander's face before he lets out a long sigh.
"You're going to regret this," he warns.
The warning is a bit unnecessary if you ask her. There's no way anything will go wrong. She's the one handling it. All her hard work has always paid off one way or another.
Besides, she loves to prove people wrong.
Rose laughs. "I won't. Nothing is going to go wrong."
"If I had a dime for every time anybody has ever said that," Teddy says, intentionally pausing a moment, "well, I wouldn't be working here, that's for sure."
"You got hired through nepotism, shut up," she cries, hoping her words won't come back to bite her in the ass. As much as it loathes her to say it, Teddy's not wrong. Those words are cursed.
When lunch is done, she pretends to need a smoke—no, she doesn't smoke—and heads outside to the nearest tree to go and knock on the wood. Better safe than sorry.
x
Playing Cupid is easier said than done. Sure, she's got all the willing (and unwilling) helpers on board, but the thing she needs is a plan. If the plan fails, it means she's failed and Rose Weasley has never failed anything. And she's not going to start now, thank you very much.
So she multitasks on precious company time to form her plan.
(It's okay, she's not going to get fired. When she yelled nepotism at Teddy earlier, she wasn't lying. Not entirely at least. Her uncle Harry owns the company, so she doubts the hiring committee would've given them a rejection letter. Teddy, being his godson, Rose, being his niece, and Albus, his actual son. Oh, of course, they all got hired because they met the requirements, still, though, it does make her wonder.)
She does hate wasting time like this, but she writes it off as one of the things Albus and Scorpius have made her do. Just another inconvenience of them being oblivious idiots. Idiots in love, but idiots all the same.
"I've got it!" Rose has just finished ordering the finishing touch of her detailed plan. Sometimes her brain even amazes herself.
"Oh, congratulations!" Albus says, reaching over to grab the bell they've placed in the center of their desks. They're only supposed to use it when they've secured big deals. "I can't believe you managed to close the Tomlinson deal."
Oh.
No.
"Yes," she says, through a forced smile, laughing off Scorpius and Albus' kind words.
She's said it once before, but she'll say it again. This is all their fault. Now she's going to have to sneak into the restroom and try to close the deal in secret.
She could've just lied, yes, but Albus had already grabbed the bell. What's with them and going for the bell right away? She hopes their pre-emptive ringing skills don't transfer over to bed. She'd hate for them to be early there too.
x
It's done.
Rose hangs the last of the balloons and takes a step back to admire the conference room. She's been here since five in the morning setting the scene for her plan. She's got red and white balloons hanging from the ceiling in the shape of hearts and flowers. She ordered the most beautiful bouquet with red roses forming a circle with white roses in the middle and small pearls and crystals intertwined. Only the best for her cousin.
And to make sure there isn't any misunderstanding, she placed a white card on the flowers that say I love you in cursive.
All she has to do is wait.
Lysander, the secretary of their floor, is in charge of telling Albus and Scorpius they have a meeting in the conference room and will walk them over. Teddy and Rose will be waiting outside to make it seem like it involves all the sales floor people. It's also because she put so much effort into this, she has to see it through.
Her phone beeps with the alert that Lysander and the targets on their way. She smooths over her skirt and walks outside where Teddy is resting on the wall with a smirk on his face. Just on cue Albus, Scorpius, and Lysander round the hallway.
"You're here too?" Albus asks, glancing over at Scorpius whose face mirrors his confusion.
Rose nods. "I'll go in first."
She opens the door just wide enough for her and Albus to pass through, quickly grabbing the bouquet. She's made Teddy stall Scorpius for a bit so she can hand the bouquet over to Albus so he can give it to Scorpius. It's very elaborate. She knows.
Albus' jaw drops and he starts stuttering, but Rose thrusts the roses at him and he has no choice but to grab them.
"Give them to Scorpius," Rose tells him, and in the next moment, Scorpius walks through the door with the other boys.
It's silent.
Scorpius looking around the room, at the decorations, before his gaze falls onto Albus. His eyes widen, and there's no way Rose is imagining the sparkle in his eyes.
Scorpius makes the first move first. He walks right up to Albus, puts his hands on Al's cheeks, then kisses him with such passion that it almost makes Rose swoon in her spot.
This. This is what she wants for herself too.
"I can't believe you did this," Scorpius says when they've separated. "So this is your way of officially asking me out? Yesterday was amazing, but this is too."
Wait, what.
Yesterday?
"You're late," Lysander says, sliding up to her and grinning. "I planned a romantic dinner for them yesterday."
"But you said not to meddle," Rose points out, trying to wrap her head around the fact that Lysander upstaged her marvelous plan.
"I lied. I didn't want you messing up my plan," Lysander laughs. "But at least they're happy. But I got there first, you lose."
Oh, god, she's sick of this. She's surrounded by insufferable people.
Are there any other job options out there? She should really look into that. Maybe she'll do that after lunch too. During work hours, yes, because she won't waste her precious time anymore.