Okay, first Portal fanfiction. I won't stop doing South Park pieces, but I do want to do some other things. When I first started playing Portal in 2009 (the original one) I was amazed. Portal 2 came out this year and I nearly orgasmed playing through it. So, I decided I'd contribute to its fanbase. Hope you like it.


A darkened chamber, buried somewhere miles beneath the earth lit up. If one were to look into this chamber of sorts, they would have seen two very unusual constructs. One was round and bulky, with a dark blue optic. He made fussing noises at his partner, who was much slimmer and ovacular than his friend. A sharp, orange iris in his optic gave a simulated blink, and then scrolled down to the round bot.

[Let's hurry up and finish this chamber,] the blue android, ATLAS, hissed. [Maybe if we finish quickly She'll let us spend the night in the hub.]

The orange bot, P-body, gave a low sigh. [Don't get your hopes up,] she chattered back in their odd language. [When has She ever done anything nice for us?] P-body would soon regret his words. The room, which contained a large pit of acid, suddenly became twice as wide as before. The laser, which would be needed to open a door several yards above them, was quickly shunted up higher, just out of reach of the Cooperative Testing Initiative.

"Since you can't seem you mind your manners Orange, I made this test twice as difficult as it was before. Oh, and Orange loses twenty-five Science Collaboration Points."

GLaDOS' cold, sarcastic voice filtered through the room, making ATLAS tense and P-body growl. The duo may have been designed to serve Her, but it didn't mean they had to like the way she talked to them. ATLAS gave a weak chuckle, patting his partner on the back empathetically. A sharp twang in his core went off, but he brushed it aside as the taller of the duo set to find a reflector cube. Shaking his head, he stumbled off to find a way to reach the laser.

"Why do you both hate me so much? I don't hate you," Her cool voice chimed. ATLAS did his best to ignore him, and P-body spat something back at the central core.

"Orange I'm shocked. I do not hate you. Not at all." Both bots halted, waiting for the punch-line. "That doesn't necessarily mean I care about you in any way, shape, or form, but I don't hate you." ATLAS groaned at this, trying to return to his train of thought. P-body rolled his optic, finally spotting an aerial faith plate. He jammed down a nearby button, making several crusher plates in his wake move to reveal an Aperture Science Discouragement Redirection Cube perched atop a ledge nearby.

ATLAS finally spotted a tiny gap in the roof, containing a hard light bridge. Shooting a dark blue portal onto the white block it was beaming against, he chuckled. The test wasn't hard in a sense of quick maneuvering and such. It only needed a careful eye.

Hearing clanking footsteps behind him, he took a look at his rather orange partner, who just happened to have a reflector cube in hand. He dived to give P-body a hug, overjoyed he would be done testing for the days soon.

Orange felt something odd as his partner hugged him. It was a warm, tickly sensation in his core. He had been feeling this a lot since he and his partner had met. He wondered what exactly it meant.

He subconsciously clutched ATLAS tighter to his chassis. The blue bot didn't go without noticing this, and looked up in confusion at his partner. Usually ATLAS was the one who gripped tightly. However, he lost this thought and all others as he stared into P-body's optic.

Neither bot moved for a moment, frozen in each other's gaze.

P-body pushed his chassis against ATLAS', receiving a sharp, steely sensation against it. ATLAS gasped a bit, and then doubled the action back at him. P-body then let out a loud whining sound. ATLAS liked this sound.

"What are you two DOING?" GLaDOS snapped harshly, the two bots separating. P-body put his hands behind his back, twiddling his fingers. ATLAS kicked dejectedly at the ground. Neither would look at each other.

It wasn't the first time these, 'kisses' had happened. God knows it wouldn't be the last. Every time the two would get worked up, feeling like they were the only ones that existed in the universe, only to be dragged back down by Her. It was not only infuriating, but heartbreaking. Neither would ever have what they wanted. And why? Because what they wanted made them, 'too human.'

GLaDOS was silent a moment, but piped up suddenly: "If you two would like to remain functional, I would advise you to never do that again. Do you understand?" Neither answered for a moment. ATLAS then gave a low moan. P-body responded with his own warbling moan. GLaDOS humphed, and prodded, "Well then, finish the test. You two have been going slowly enough lately, we don't need this kind of distraction.

P-body wanted to let all of whatever this…feeling was out. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure it was all one emotion. He wanted to do a lot of things right now that were all very human-like. Cry. Yell. Curl up in a ball. But most of all, he just wanted to be as close to his partner as he could. But of course, with Her around, nothing would be the way he wanted.

P-body slouched forward, waiting for the hard light bridge to appear under his feet. He wanted to just power down for the night, wake up, and forget everything that had happened.

The orange android felt something tap his shoulder. He looked up. ATLAS gave him a thumbs up, optic curled up in a smile. P-body did his best to return the gesture.

GLaDOS could prevent them from touching, laughing, or playing, but she could never sever the bond between Orange and Blue.

And P-body revelled in that fact.


Well, that's that. Hope it was okay. Yes, I portray P-body as a male in this story. I'm not saying there is no possibility of P-body being female, it's just how I see him. You don't need a vagina to be feminine.

Anyways, yeah, thanks for reading.