"This will not end happily, I assure you."
That was the ominous final words I received from the Persian on his last visit to Erik's 'home'. It was the last time I would talk to him. The Persian knew about my love for Erik. He said that he could see it in my eyes. Too bad Erik would not see it himself. He warned me that no one could love Erik that way—it was too dangerous. For who, I wondered. I would not make it out alive if I got too close to the troubled man, warned the Persian. I knew he was wrong. I would be fine. I would be perfect. Erik and I were meant for each other, even if he didn't know that yet. I could be very persuasive… and destiny was on my side—our side. Well, I explained that eventually no one makes it out alive, and I had nothing to lose. Erik was my everything. Erik already possessed my heart, whether he knew it or not.
"Just do not lose your soul to him as well."
If only the Persian knew what was to come in the next few days.
As I looked on Erik, I knew that my love gave him this peace. He suffered so much pain and torment from that child. He would grovel at her feet one minute and unyieldingly rage at her for her devotion the next. As was his nature, though she was certainly an aggravation to it. I was there when she left. I was always the one waiting to salvage the mess she made. I let out a half sob, half chuckle at the pain that his beloved child caused him versus the solace I so unselfishly provided. ME! Oh how he overlooked me as I protected and loved him from backstage! I was never the Prima Dona, but somehow that was always ok with me. I was a backstage type woman. I had power, even if it remained unseen or unacknowledged. Erik and I were alike in that regard. I had the power to close the curtains on whomever I chose. I should have snapped them closed on Christine long before she got out of hand.
That's all done now. She ran off with her boy, Raoul, and left me to pick up the pieces of my broken, beautiful Erik yet again. She broke him, ruined him, but still he was devoted to her, to his unmatched Angel! Yes, it takes truly divine figure to toy with such a fragile and wonderful man. Erik is a man, my man. Not a monster and not her Angel of Music. A mortal man with a hugely open heart for her alone…but what a heart he had! If he would have only looked on me that way… Things could have been so much easier from the start.
No matter now. It all worked out—Christine gone, Erik here with me, as it always should have been.
He was mine rightfully. I was the only one that could save him.
Through the depression and despair, he only called on one name as I risked myself to save him. "Christine! Christine…" It nearly killed me. Dragging him through the tunnel behind the mirror to a safe place to wait out the mob, he called out time and time again. Knowing his anguished screams may be heard by the mob, I continued to force him to save himself, half pleading and half bodily shoving him to safety. He screamed and raved and begged and moaned for his Angel. It made me sick, but knowing he was mine, gave me strength and I managed. We reached safety, no thanks to that chit of a girl.
She left with no regrets as to how tortured and twisted she left his soul. She said Erik's soul was twisted before her, but that was never true. She broke him! She shattered his very being, and left him in pieces. She shattered MY Erik, my beautiful music!
He is at peace with me now. He will never think of her again as he is mine, and only mine.
I lay a loving hand on his cold cheek as he lies peacefully next to me. No masks now, no more masks for any of us. He is all scarred barely human flesh. I pull him close, and he makes no move. We are all showing our scars now. He knows his place is with me, and Erik knows what lengths I would go through to give him his much deserved peace. He has to love me for it now, and he knows that I gave up my love for his peace.
It strikes a chord somewhere deep inside me that he will never move again. He will never share his heavenly music with anyone again… His cold, stiff body is all that will remain, but he is at peace now. He is mine. I gave him that gift, even as he cried out for his beloved angel. I selflessly gave him that gift of serenity. He won't cry out and he will never feel pain. I will never again rejoice at the sound of his voice, but he is at peace finally. And most importantly, he will be with me for eternity… not Christine. Never Christine.