A Little Blue Shell and the Bone-Eater's Well

by Gantain

When Kagome finds that Sesshoumaru is in trouble, she has only a split second to choose his fate... but, is that even up to her? What will Inuyasha do when he finds that little Rin's been left behind?

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters.

Note: No, I didn't have Rin and Sesshoumaru say "this" before their names. I just felt like it flowed better without it. And I've never been the best at spelling so I'm sorry if you find any mistakes. Despite that I really hope you like it. :) This is my first fanfic. Please review it, good or bad. Thank you in advance. This is my favorite show and it was great to get to use the characters. If you really like it maybe I'll write some more someday.

update: I have in fact written another. :)

update: I've taken this story down and reposted it. It wasn't saving edits correctly and I'm hoping this will fix the problem. This means that I've lost your reviews of it. Despite that, I am still so flattered by how much you seem to like it. Thank you so much! I really didn't expect any response at all and I'm so appreciative. I thought it wouldn't be as popular because it isn't flooded with action. I really only wrote it for myself and to address questions that were never or hardly brought up in the real storyline. Thank you again! You're all so great! :) .

The Little Blue Shell and The Bone Eater's Well

Her little fingers picked delicately through the glistening pebbles. She grasped a tiny object before another rush of salty water made her giggle and hop back up. In the exuberant nature that is only bestowed upon the very young, she wheeled around, her glossy black hair trailing behind her as she began to run.

Her empty hand found the hem of a garment, her small thumb pressing against an embroidered flower before she tugged and turned her round face upward.

Someone akin to a white marble column and equally as stoic twisted fluidly to gaze down at her with emotionless amber eyes. The cool sea breeze played lightly with the glistening cascade of long silver hair that draped against his back and rippled the empty sleeve at his side. Her little hand let go of it as she held something up for him to see.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, look what I found!" the child's birdlike voice rang out.

"Rin, it is but another shell. Refrain from showing me more." The man's voice was smooth and deep in such a way that seemed to drip with seriousness… and despite this the girl grinned wide and bright. Her big, brown eyes narrowed into glittering crescents.

"But this one's not like the others I've shown you. It's blue!" She explained.

Sesshoumaru said nothing. He stood as still as stone, gazing down at her.

She sighed.

"Alright… but if I find something else, something that's not a shell, I'll show you." She chirped.

"If you must," he said calmly as he turned and began to walk again.

Rin looked down at the little shell in her palm. To her it really did look different from the others. To her it seemed very different indeed. She clutched it as she hurried along behind him, trying as always to keep up with his long strides.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! I'm so glad that you have returned." A small green figure, even shorter than Rin, in a little black cap called to them. Beside him stood a two headed dragon of sorts, about the size of an ox.

"Master Jaken, look what I found." Rin opened her hand for him to see.

"I've crushed a thousand such shells just on my walk over here, child." Jaken dismissed.

"Well, I like it." She pouted.

Rin turned from the others. The little blue shell shimmered a little in the sunlight. A gust of wind threatened for an instant to pull it away but she caught it again and thought… she heard something.

A whistle?

A note of music?

From the little blue shell…

Rin looked closely at it, blinking with surprise. She held it right up to her button nose and tried to look into the opening of the tiny spiral cavern within… but saw nothing

Curious, she held the tiny object to her ear and listened closely.

Sesshoumaru only partially listened to Jaken's description of a battle far to the east over which he'd flown earlier on the back of the two headed dragon Ah-Un. It was perhaps because of his lack of interest in his small green servant's ramblings that he noticed his young ward crumple silently to the sand.

He turned swiftly toward her.

"Rin…" he said as he rushed to her side.

"My lord!" Jaken was beside him in a heartbeat and pulled something from Rin's hand before holding it up for him to see. "This shell… was it not blue?"

It had been… he knew it had been blue a moment before. A shiny bright blue... Now, though, it was as white and nondescript as any other on the shore.

"Rin." He said again.

Sesshoumaru was a creature of power; that is true. A fine and precise individual, his very name meant "the killing perfection". He was an immensely powerful dog demon, hundreds of years old, and armed to the teeth… literally. He'd never met a foe that frightened him. The only person who'd ever been able to best him was his own half brother who took his left arm. But that had been a fluke, a lucky accident, and Sesshoumaru had promised to kill the young whelp. He was never one to overtly show emotion. Emotion was an illogical thing for the weak and now was no exception. The only difference between this moment and any other was the slight widening of his eyes and microscopic furrowing of his brow.

Anyone who didn't know him wouldn't have thought he was concerned about the child at all, kneeling with a deadpan expression, over her.

Jaken knew better. Jaken knew his lord well enough to see the slight variations.

"My lord, she seems to have been possessed by a spirit of some sort. Perhaps it resided within the shell."

"The shell," Sesshoumaru repeated taking it from Jaken's hand.

There was a long pause and Jaken knew that he'd have to say it because the dog lord would not.

"She's a human. I don't know how to solve such a problem in a human, so I fear she must be attended to by a human... Someone who is able to drive such spirits away."

"There is a village nearby, is there not?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Indeed,"

"Stay here with Ah-Un,"

Before Jaken had a chance to say another word, Sesshoumaru had pulled the unconscious child into the crook of his arm and taken off like a shot, leaping into the air away toward the human settlement and out of sight.

…

The little hut at the edge of the huge village smelt like incense and spice. He'd come across the home of a healer a long time ago but the smell had never faded from his memory.

A woman stood outside the little structure, hanging washing to dry.

"Woman,"

She turned toward the voice in time to see a tall figure in white walk from the tree line. The woman's eyes widened instantly. She'd been a miko for a long time and knew what it was that now approached her. His delicately pointed ears, the long claws at the end of each finger, and markings on his face. He was a demon.

"Back! Stay Back, demon! You've come to trouble the wrong woman!" she said pulling a handful of sutras from her sleeve.

"Silence, your wailing hurts my ears. I am not here of my own desire but for the need of my ward." He lifted the child, asleep, cradled in the crook of his arm a little higher.

The miko stood slack jawed. She'd never seen anything of the sort. His ward? It was a little human child. A little girl. But… held protectively by the arm of a near immortal demon. The thought frightened her. She was a mother, her children grown, but still deep within her there was the desire to save this little girl from the predator whom held her. Like a baby bird in a cat's jaws. In her deepest soul she knew that the combination was absurd. How could it be safe for such a small and fragile being to be the ward of such a beast? And the way he talked to her… he couldn't be the attentive caregiver a child needs.

The creature tilted his head ever so slightly, perhaps perplexed by the lack of a response.

"Something seems to have possessed her." He explained, "Will you assist us?"

The miko found her voice.

"Yes, yes of course. Come inside… please." She said bowing before waving her hands in a flustered fashion as she turned to slide open the door.

Sesshoumaru strode across the yard and paused only an instant to look down at the woman, as she stood beside the doorway, before he stepped inside. In that instant his cold gold eyes met hers and she was most honestly frightened. But the girl needed her.

"Here, lay her down." She said quickly as she rolled a futon out onto the floor.

Sesshoumaru did so, kneeling beside the futon without word and with careful movements. That was when the woman noticed that he wasn't using his left arm… because he didn't have one. A ping of curiosity echoed across her mind and she had the sudden desire to ask… but thought better of it.

"My name is Chiaki." The woman told him, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead he knelt beside the girl and trained his narrow eyes upon her as if trying to will her to awaken. He was unsettlingly still and Chiaki wasn't sure what to do other than get to work.

She turned and pulled a box of incense from its spot in the corner. When she turned back the demon was again standing and much closer to her than he'd been a moment ago. How did he do it? She hadn't heard a sound?

Chiaki's breath caught in her throat.

"Ca… can you tell me what happened to her? Did you see anything?"

His hand reached out to her and she stiffened in fright, but when he unfolded his fingers, there sat a little white shell on his palm.

"She had this to her ear… It had been blue." Sesshoumaru told her.

"Oh… I see." She turned again and found her scrolls on sea spirits and a bundle of sutras. Chiaki then went to the girl's side and the monster followed her. He knelt again and watched her slender fingers like a hawk as she unrolled the scrolls and searched for what was needed to help her.

"What, if you don't mind me asking, is the girl's name?" Chiaki said softly.

"Rin." he replied flatly.

"… and your name?"

His eyes turned toward her and narrowed just a little, as if he were trying to read her motives. Why would such a little creature need to know his name?

"I am Lord Sesshoumaru," he said despite himself.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," she let the name roll from her mouth. It had an almost soothing sound to it. It fit the look of the elegant monster, but it did not fit his chilled demeanor. She continued, "I'm afraid I will have to ask you to leave."

His brows furrowed further and he stood suddenly. Towering over her his even voice seemed to cut the warm, still air like a knife.

"I will not," he told her.

"I'm sorry, but I will not be able to distinguish between the power that has possessed this child and yours. Your demonic aura overwhelms the room. I simply cannot see to her… because of you." She explained. "I promise," she began when she saw him look away, "I will protect her with my life. And when I am finished I will burn wet wood in my fire. The black smoke will show that I have finished and it's okay to return to her. I will do my utmost to save your Rin." Chiaki bowed deeply.

There was a moment of silence before…

"I will hold you to your word, that my ward will be safe with you. I will wait nearby." He paused a moment to take one last look at little Rin before turning and leaving the little house.

Chiaki sighed with relief… and at the same time… missed his powerful presence instantly.

…

Outside the air had changed. Dark clouds had rolled in and the wind had begun to blow consistently. Sesshoumaru stood in the yard looking toward the city of wooden houses with paper windows. It was a picturesque image but it did little to take his mind off of Rin.

A scent, though, upon the wind… did.

It was of blood and a demon… a powerful one. What better way to pass the time than to investigate such a scent?

Sesshoumaru leapt and was gone. The tiny pebbles that had been beneath his feet settling in his wake.

…

Two mountains beyond the little city where his ward lay in the care of the Chiaki woman, Sesshoumaru alighted upon the branch of a large tree at the edge of a clearing.

Bloodstained blades of tall grass swayed serenely in the wind. A bulky carcass… a beast of scales and fangs lay slain on its side. Red, drying rivers ran from its chest.

Sesshoumaru did not show his disappointment. He'd not been able to reach the scene before all of the fun had been spent. The dog demon stepped down from his perch and turned to leave.

A slight whistle stirred the air.

Sesshoumaru turned just in time to catch something sharp… a few things… in his side. Immediately the objects began to sear his flesh. He looked down at the holes that they had left in his armor. They had passed through his armor? And they hurt? There was so little that hurt him. He was curious as to where they'd originated and turned his eyes toward blue clad movement at the far side of the clearing.

"We thought we were done for the day. But it seems that another task has come wandering by." A gravel laden voice rumbled.

They were humans… monks of some sort… about a dozen of them. Most had swords but others held small blades without handles. This must be what was thrown and had entered Sesshoumaru's side. The things that were causing the heavy pounding in his ribcage and the ringing in his ears.

How had he not sensed them or picked up on their scent? They must have been cloaked in some magic.

"My interest has already been slain," he told them gesturing faintly toward the hulking body on the ground, "I have no business with you."

"That may be, but you… you've already been slain as well." One of the monks told him with a venomous smile.

The thumping pain steadily grew in Sesshoumaru's chest. Fingers of which coursed down his spine. The demon reflexively wrapped his arm around his side trying to feel for any protrusion that he could get hold of and use to pull away a blade or two, but there was nothing. Each was deeply imbedded. He felt his hand trembling and reached for his sword just as the monks began to charge toward him.

"Sesshoumaru!" he heard a familiar voice cry out.

An arrow streaked across the space between the Dog Lord and the Blue Monks. Something firm grasped at Sesshoumaru's shoulder. He caught the scent of that woman, his half brother's woman!

"Miko!" he snarled as he turned his head to see her there behind him, perched on the lip of a small well.

"Kagome… my name's Kagome and it'd be nice if you'd use it." She said quickly.

Kagome was about to reach behind her back and draw out another arrow. The first had only frightened the monks momentarily. They'd regained their focus and were headed toward them again. But something changed Kagome's mind. Her eyes widened in worry and then set in resolve. She slung the bow across herself in one motion, took hold of his armor with both hands and jumped backward into the well.

She felt her weight pull him from his feet and drag him down with her. Kagome hadn't been sure she was heavy enough to accomplish even that much. She held tight, watching the walls of the well flicker and fade away, morphing into the hollow in between that separated her time in the future from his time in the past. She watched him closely, her eyes concentrating on his back.

Had she made the right choice? She'd never seen him weak like that. She was sure if she'd stayed someone would have been hurt and she was sure it'd be them. She didn't want anyone to be hurt really and she knew he would have blindly killed off monks who may have thought they were protecting the world from demons like him. Saving the human race. He might have been killed if his injuries were as bad as she thought. She herself may have been killed and she wasn't even sure who's side she'd have been on. Neither she supposed. She'd have tried to stop them all. The arrow hadn't even been aimed at anyone.

She hoped she'd made the right choice.

But…

Inuyasha was the only one who'd been able to travel through the well other than her. What if it didn't want Sesshoumaru to pass through? He'd be left behind, alone, in the bottom of an empty well with the monks closing in. The grip on his armor tightened. The well could still change its mind. But the light around him seemed to falter for just a moment before settling as it had around her.

He was weakened, in reality only about half the strength of a full demon. Perhaps that fact and the fact that, despite how insulted he'd be if it were said aloud, he looked physically an awful lot like his brother, tricked the well into accepting him. Perhaps it didn't realize that this dog demon wasn't Inuyasha… That was, if it thought at all.

She still hadn't figured out how it worked.

In a blink and rearranging of the world she found them both standing at the bottom of the well again. Her eyes glanced upward and found there the ceiling of the little temple hut that protected the ancient and sacred Bone Eater's Well.

They'd made it. She sighed heavily.

"What have you done?" Sesshoumaru demanded to know turning to face her, his long silken, silver hair pulling across her arm before she moved her hands away.

"I saved us!" Kagome shouted back.

"I did not need your help!"

"Look at yourself! You're shaking! And look at your side. I've never seen you bleed like that… ever!"

Sesshoumaru looked down. Red blood had already pooled on the dry floor of the well below him. His hand trembled uncontrollably and his eyesight faded in and out of focus.

"The blades in my side… they cannot be ordinary blades." He seemed to say more to himself than to her.

"No, they must be enchanted with some sort of spell. Nothing I know of can do this to you." Kagome agreed.

Then, with one heavy nod of his head Sesshoumaru's will power suddenly gave out. The sheer force his self control that he'd been using to keep himself conscious had worn too thin and he teetered before falling forward. She stepped toward him and caught the dog demon before he hit the floor. His weight was heavy against her.

"Sota! Sota!" Kagome began to call to her little brother who'd been there to say goodbye moments before she'd left for the past.

"Kagome? I thought you just left." A pretty older woman said leaning over the lip of the well.

"Oh, Mom!" Kagome said as she began trying to pull him up with her out of the shallow well, but she just wasn't strong enough. "Can you get some rope, he's hurt and we need to get him out of here!"

"Is that… Inuyasha?" her mother asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's his brother. Please hurry."

Kagome's mother vanished for a moment but returned swiftly with a bundle of white rope. Kagome secured it around Sesshoumaru and scrambled out of the well to help her mother pull. In no time at all they had him laid on the floor and Kagome's mother could see for herself that this was indeed not Inuyasha.

"He's… stunning." She said slowly, "Those markings on his face are in his skin? And his ears are different than Inuyasha's."

"He's a full demon. Inuyasha's half human." Kagome explained. "This is Inuyasha's half brother." she said as she pulled a dusty drape from its spot in the corner. They used the fabric as a makeshift stretcher to carry the heavy monster to the house. Thankfully the coast was clear and there were no visitors at the shrine that evening.

The women carried him into a back room that her mother used for crafts. Kagome's mother rolled a futon out on the floor and they carefully put him down upon it.

"Is Gramps home? I need him to figure out what's going on."

"Yes, I'll go find him," her mother said and took off through the doorway.

And then the bright little room was still. Kagome was startled by how simple and sweet it seemed to see the powerful demon sleeping. If she ignored the blood as she untied his armor and began to pull it off so that she could reach the wounds, she could almost pretend that he'd just drifted off into a peaceful slumber. It was something she'd never imagined of him before. She wasn't even sure if he normally slept at all.

A shadow stood in the doorway.

"Kagome…" she heard and looked over.

It was her grandfather. He had one hand on the doorframe to steady himself against the shock of what he was seeing. Kagome suddenly wondered what it was her mother had told him if anything at all. The old man's expression seemed startled and absolutely awe struck.

"Kagome… get away from him."

"Gramps, he's…"

"You heard me, child! I can sense that he's slaughtered so many. There's a darkness in him!" He said in a hushed yet very demanding tone. Kagome had always taken her grandfather's ramblings about the temple and its past with a grain of salt, but she sensed it too. She had from the day she first saw Sesshoumaru. Her grandfather was wiser than she'd given him credit for.

"Grams…" she just had time to begin saying.

"Why would you bring something so dangerous to our own house?"

"You don't say that about Inuyasha!" she shot back.

"Inuyasha does not exude such a blackened aura! This thing might murder us all! It needs to be killed before it awakens, which is more humane a death than it deserves!" her grandfather told her.

"No! You can't kill him! I won't let you!" she placed a protective hand on Sesshoumaru's chest.

"Kagome, this isn't a kitten that's followed you home! This is serious!"

"You think I don't know that? I know he's dangerous. I've seen it! But, I had to help him. He was being attacked by monks and was already hurt when I found him and pulled him into the well. They would have killed him and I couldn't let that happen! He looks after and guards a little human girl. She'd be lost without him. He's her world and, even though they hate each other, he's also Inuyasha half brother." Kagome tried to explain with barely controlled exasperation. "Now please... please help me save him."

Her grandfather looked over at her with confused eyes then turned them to the demon. He sighed softly before cautiously entering the little room and putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Do you really think that what you're doing is right?" he asked. She nodded. "Than I will help you... if that is what you want. If you really believe it's important. It's... a strange and unsettling thing to have a monster like this right here in the house… but if you think he's safe enough, that we won't hurt us and deserves our help… I will. I trust your judgment."

Kagome smiled at him.

"But if he turns on us..."

"I know, Gramps, I know... Thank you."

Together they finished pulling the armor and clothing from the demon's side to inspect the wounds. Kagome's mother returned with bandages and medical supplies. They all went about trying to stop the bleeding, but though they'd managed to slow it it still continued to seep through whatever they used.

"Kagome, perhaps we're going about this the wrong way." Her grandfather said.

"How so?"

"Maybe these are more than ordinary wounds and maybe a demon needs more than ordinary bandages."

"Oh that's right! He said before he passed out, um, something like that. There must be a charm or spell on the blades to hurt him at all. I've seen him in the most tremendous battles and he shrugs injurys much worse than this off. He shouldn't be hurt like this with such little weapons."

"What did they look like?"

"Oh no, I didn't get a good look."

"He might have…" Her grandfather looked down at the monster that lay before them, "Sir? Sir!" he began to say as if trying to wake him.

"Sesshoumaru… his name is Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Lord?" her grandfather coughed out.

"Yes, he's a lord."

"The killing perfection… I can't believe you've brought this demon to our door." He said shaking his head, "And with a name that means that."

"Gramps, please,"

"I know, I know," he shook the demon slightly, "Lord Sesshoumaru, can you hear me? Wake up please."

"Try this," Kagome said as she reached forward and began to smack Sesshoumaru's cheek lightly with her palm.

Gramps' eyes widened in shock.

"Kagome, don't do…"

The dog lord's brows furrowed suddenly and his eyes fluttered open ever so slightly. Peeking out from under sleep heavy lids, the world swam for a sickening moment. He groaned quietly and turned his head away.

"Sesshoumaru,"

He heard his name spoken and growled inwardly. It was the voice of that miko girl of his half brothers. Suddenly he remembered what had happened up to his arrival in the bottom of a dry well, after that everything was blank.

"Miko," he snarled.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," another voice interrupted him, an old man's voice. "Can you tell us what the weapon looked like? What was it that hurt you? Kagome says it was some sort of small blades that were thrown, but she didn't see them clearly. Did you?"

Sesshoumaru turned his narrow eyes to look at the source of the voice. There sat a little old man beside him, hundreds of years his junior. Humans were such fleeting creatures. The man seemed instantly uneasy when their eyes found each other. Irritated by the old man Sesshoumaru closed his eyes again and extended his hand out to his side. There his fingertips found the wood of the floor and with one sharp nail he scratched. In a moment he pulled it back to his side and rested it there again. Kagome's grandfather looked down at what he had done. Upon the floor, Sesshoumaru had carved the outline of a tiny dagger with no handle… a shape her grandfather recognized.

"I know this blade! These were used by the Blue Monks! I've read about them. This will take all of my skills. Kagome, I'll need you to gather my things together and bring them here. We'll do all we can. This monster won't die here if I can help it."

Kagome smiled at her grandfather's sudden resolve and pride. His family had tended to this shrine for as long as people kept track of such things and he'd spent his life learning all about the mystic nature of the old world. She herself was a priestess in the past and understood.

For this she was grateful.

…

She'd sat up all night at his bedside to make sure that he didn't stop breathing.

Her grandfather had found a drawing of the ancient weapon in one of his old books. It was a powerful little blade, infused with the ability to purify. Kagome's arrows had this same ability. When an object has the power to purify it mean that it has the power to destroy the supernatural essence that inhabits some people, places, and things and leave them in their pure, natural state. For a full demon the supernatural is the whole of their being, thus such a blade would weaken and destroy them.

Sesshoumaru had six of them in his side.

Kagome had helped her grandfather clean the wounds with sacred oils. He'd found ancient coin shaped charms and placed them over each entry wound, before wrapping bandages over his side to hold them in place. These funny little coins that Kagome had seen around the temple all her life had never seemed important. Her grandfather had told her before that they had the power to block other powers but she'd hardly listened. Her grandfather had told her lots of stories.

Grams had told her that they were meant to halt and hold still the powers of an object. That didn't mean that the other object or its powers had gone away, only been held fast.

And they were temporary.

They'd need to figure out a way to remove the blades completely and soon before the coins effect weakened too much.

"Kagome, you couldn't sleep either." She heard her grandfather say from the doorway. The words pulled her from her thoughts.

"No, I'm too worried."

"I'm too nervous." Her grandfather said honestly, "Tell me, what kind of person is this Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"He's a heartless, cold, aloof, stuck up, jerk." She told him quietly.

"Hm… sounds nice," he said with a smile, trying to make his granddaughter laugh.

She grinned back faintly.

"Well, I've been digging around in my old things and have found these for him to wear. I figured we shouldn't leave him laying in those bloody robes." He held up a bundle of clothing.

Kagome nodded and watched as her grandfather crouched beside Sesshoumaru.

"I wish I could see the world you get to see, Kagome." He told her as he brushed some of the fur that sat atop Sesshoumaru's shoulder away from the unconscious demon's face.

"I wish you could too, Gramps."

Her grandfather then took hold of the large boa-like thing that wrapped over Sesshoumaru's right shoulder and that lay long along his side. His hands vanished into the deep and silken fur as he tried to lift it away. It curled like a cat's tail and for a moment startled her grandfather, but he'd seen a lot in his life and so continued on. Kagome knelt at his side to watch the strange way the item seemed to cling. The strands of fur that were touching his skin seemed to want to stay there. It was as if Gramps were trying to pull away a part of Sesshoumaru's body or another living thing that didn't want to leave his side. But with some gentle tugging Gramps was able to separate the fur from the beast. He lay it carefully atop a tall bookshelf where it wriggled slowly by itself. Then he pulled Sesshoumaru's sword from his waist, placed it atop the soft fur, in part to put the ancient sward somewhere soft and in other part to hold the boa down. He turned back to his granddaughter.

"Sorry, Kagome, but you'll have to wait outside until I'm done with this."

She hoped her Grandfather didn't notice her blush a little as she nodded, turned and left the room.

…

The world opened up to him in thin strips of bright light and blurred lines. Blinking, focus slowly returned and a round face with a mess of black hair came into view. The young figure was leaning over him.

"Are you really a full demon? My sister said you are."

"Hm," Sesshoumaru grunted in annoyance through a dry throat.

"Are those lines and moon on your face drawn on or tattooed? They look like they're really part of your skin!" the boy chattered with curiosity.

Sesshoumaru's eyes took in the little room. It was simple with a table and shelf of papers. The walls were light yellow and the windows were open to let the fresh summer air in. What puzzled him the most were the scents. There was a strange metallic smell and a sour one. There were bitter smells and sweet, but they were all smells he'd never encountered before.

"Inuyasha visits sometimes, why haven't you visited before?"

Sesshoumaru's narrowed eyes found the boy in a heartbeat.

"Sota!" Kagome's voice shouted out, "I don't think he wants to hear about that." She came into view. "I'm sorry Sesshoumaru, he should be leaving for school any minute now."

"You should too," her little brother shot back.

"Mom said I could stay home because I was supposed to be in the past today anyway, now go!" she said sternly.

Sota stuck out his tongue at her before hurrying through the door.

"What is wrong with me," she heard Sesshoumaru say and turned back to look down at him. She looked at the glass of water in her hand before sitting on the floor beside his futon.

"The blades purify supernatural powers and auras. They were poisoning you. We… We couldn't remove them. We were only able to stop their progress for now. Very soon though, we'll have to find a way to take them out. My grandfather's working on figuring that out right now. Do you want some water?"

Sesshoumaru lay there looking at her for a long and silent moment. Kagome wondered if he was angry at her.

"Hm," he finally made a noise.

"Um, does that mean yes?"

"I wish to sit," he told her before he began to shift weakly. Kagome reached out and timidly placed her hands on his shoulders then helped pull him up.

From his seated position Sesshoumaru noticed his clothes cleaned and folded on a nearby chair, but if they weren't on him what was? He looked down at himself and found a white shirt and … something covering his legs, it was tan and tighter than his normal clothing.

"They're called pants." Kagome told him when she saw his eyes focus for a little longer on them.

"Hm,"

His hand went to his shoulder but found nothing there. His eyes widened.

"Oh, that's over there." Kagome pointed, "Safe and sound. Whatever it is didn't seem to want to leave you." She looked over to it where the fur bristled and its length curled of its own accord. "What is it?" she asked.

"Moko moko." He said smoothly.

"I was wondering, where Rin and Jaken are. Where they safe when I found you?" Kagome had worried the entire time that he was unconscious that she may have left the other two behind and in grave danger.

"… They are safe." He told her. His hand extended toward her and then waited.

"Oh, right," she said as she gave him the glass of water. He looked at it for a moment before drinking. That was when Kagome noticed that she'd never seen him drink anything before. He finished quickly and set the glass on the floor. He pulled the blanket off and began to pull himself forward.

"Sesshoumaru,"

He frowned when he heard her address him without his proper title, yet again. "that might not be such a good idea. You should rest."

He could feel the bandages pressing against his skin as he moved and didn't like the feeling of the tight and yet empty sleeve of the white shirt hanging beyond the stud of his missing left arm. He didn't like the way his stomach churned or the way his head pounded and the flesh under the bandages burned. But Seshoumaru was not known for giving up.

"Where are we?" he asked in his usual emotionless voice.

"This is my house. I live here with my mom, grandfather and little brother. We're in my time."

"Your time?"

"That's a little different. You see, I'm not from your time. I travel there through the Bone Eater's Well. I'm from far in the future and that's where we are now."

"Hm…" he didn't seem amazed by this information at all and only shifted again, "The scents here are very different."

"Oh that's right, both you and Inu… You, um, can smell thing much better than we can. Well, I suppose that must be because many of the materials that things are made out of in the future didn't exist in your time. There's plastic and chemicals, exhaust from cars… lots of things."

"I wish to stand," he said. "I will see this future."

"Oh wait," Kagome began but he'd drawn his feet up under himself and was trying to stand. He wobbled like a newborn colt but unlike a colt, Kagome was sure that he'd fall back down and not stand again. She moved toward him. "Is it alright, um, if I help you stand?" it felt strange to ask him such a thing.

There was a long period of uneasy silence. She could tell that the question irritated him. She was certain that he was a prideful beast and abhorred the idea of help. But she also thought that he might be a curious monster and knowing that the future was just out the door, he probably couldn't wait to see.

"If you must,"

Kagome wrapped one arm across his wide back to steady him as he stood. With a little difficulty he was finally able to balance enough to hold himself up. Then he began to walk, best he could, out of the room. The pain in his side was sharp with every step.

Kagome followed close behind, one hand hovering just inches away from him.

"I really feel like you should rest,"

"Hm,"

"I just feel like it'd be in your best interest considering your injuries."

"Hm,"

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"I do not care about how you feel,"

"That I already know, trust me."

"Why, good morning, Lord Sesshoumaru," her mother sang through a brilliant smile as they entered the kitchen. Sessoumaru's eyes didn't waver from the open kitchen door.

"Mom," Kagome threw her a pleading look. Her mother seemed to understand.

"Are you going for a walk?" she asked, "Well, you'll have a little to eat first. I'll get you something to hide your stripes and give you a little money for lunch. Kagome can show you around."

Kagome frowned for an instant but then thought better of it. Maybe that would be a good idea. She knew he was craving the outside world and there'd be no stopping him. At least this way he'd be supervised.

Her mother walked right over to Sesshoumaru, took hold of his arm, pulled him away from his beeline toward the door. She sat him in a chair like it was no big deal at all. Kagome knew that it was, in fact, quite a big deal and the slight but insulted look in the dog lord's eyes agreed. Before he could do anything… Kagome wondered if there was anything he could do, as weak as he was… her mother had a plate of food set before him on the table.

"Now, I'll be right back." Kagome's mother left the room.

Kagome made herself a plate and sat across from him. He looked down at the meal blankly.

"You don't eat do you?" she asked.

He looked back toward the door.

"Alright," her mother was back with a few little bottles and other items. "This should do the trick." She said as she set the things on the counter behind the demon. "Go on now, eat up."

Sesshoumaru's eyes turned back to the plate and Kagome could see him sniffing the air above it with vague interest. Then his eyes went wide and Kagome looked beyond him to see what the problem might be.

Her mother had his hair in her hands.

Kagome almost choked on her food.

"Now, if we just put your hair in a long braid like this…" she began to weave three sections together, "It will hide the tips of those lovely pointed ears of yours." She finished quickly and took something from one of the little jars. She moved to Sesshoumaru's side and with one nimble finger dabbed makeup on his cheek.

His head snapped to face her, rage brewing behind his startled golden eyes.

And Kagome's mother just smiled, still holding her finger in the air with the foundation on its tip.

"If you move it'll look funny. It's just makeup. It will hide your markings so you can walk about more inconspicuously." She chirped like a happy bird. The anger in Sesshoumaru's expression turned to confusion.

"Why is it that you hide my markings?" he asked still looking directly at her.

"Well, things have changed since your time," Kagome's mother began to explain and as she did so her finger moved to his face and began to pat the foundation over the stripes on his cheeks. He seemed to tolerate it in order to hear her explanation. "We never see people that look like you. I mean, unless they are in a costume. People just don't have a crescent moon on their forehead, pointed ears, and claws. People will look at you strangely if we don't make you look more normal."

"Normal?" Sesshoumaru repeated without tone, but Kagome assumed it was a question.

"More human."

Kagome's mother was just finishing the moon on his forehead and stepped back to admire her work.

"There you go, you look so handsome. Not of course that you didn't before." She said as she began to pin the loose end of the empty sleeve up under that was left of his arm. "I don't think you'll get many looks for the silver hair. Kids are doing so many crazy things with their hair nowadays."

"Mom, he's hundreds of years old."

"You're as young as you feel. And those claws, I don't think anyone will notice. So, eat at least three big bites and you can go." She said cheerfully as she turned to finish washing up the pots and pans.

Sesshoumaru looked down at the food again and picked up the chopsticks. He plucked a few bits of the sweet smelling food from the plate and placed them in his mouth one after the other. He paused and then began to chew.

"Oh, such a good boy"

"Mom!"

"Here, that's enough for lunch and a treat." She said placing some bills on the table beside his plate. "I'm sure you and Kagome will find something fun to do for the day while Gramps figures out what to do about your injuries. There's no sense in keeping you miserable and cooped up, but remember to take it easy, alright? It's a miracle that you feel well enough to be up at all. Now, I'm going to go water the plants so I'll see you two later. Kagome, take my cell phone with you just in case of emergency. Love you!" her mother kissed her on the cheek before leaving the room.

Sesshoumaru, the mighty demon lord, looked across the table at Kagome with a faintly thoughtful and distant expression.

"Are you alight?" she asked.

He said nothing. He only looked back down at his plate as he chewed slowly and picked up another morsel, quietly finishing his meal.

…

As they walked down the sun lit avenue Sesshoumaru still hadn't said anything, but then again Kagome wasn't really pressing him for conversation. Once in a while he'd seem to slow his pace and waver a bit as if suddenly light headed but he'd soon recover and continue on. In the past, Kagome recalled that he'd always been wandering. He was always on the move. It seemed to her that he was seeking his fate. Now in the future, he probably felt very lost. But maybe part of his fate didn't lay straight on the timeline.

He stopped in front of a car. He hadn't asked what they were. She was sure he'd already figured it out. They were an inanimate object used by humans for transportation. For him it didn't need a name or any more of an explanation. He'd seem much more amazing things during his long life. But when his hand went to his face Kagome realized why it was he really paused.

"It looks really good," she assured him. "You can't tell the marking are there at all… the clothes too. Gramps used to be bigger, but you know how people shrink with age. You're boots even look modern." He lingered a little longer in front of the glass of the car window, peering at his reflection in it, before turning and continuing on.

A group of three girls were coming along on the other side of the street. Kagome stiffened slightly in anticipation. Would they even notice him?

They passed tossing curious glances his way as they moved on giggling lightly.

Sesshoumaru stopped. It had seemed that he hadn't even noticed them passing by, but…

"Why were they laughing?" he asked.

Kagome had been surprised herself at the laughter and being a young woman she knew just what kind of laughter it was. It wasn't at him and it wasn't because anything was funny.

"They," she flushed a little, "They think you're cute."

"Cute." He repeated.

"Attractive." Kagome reiterated.

He turned his head to look back at them and giggling erupted in the distance. Apparently they were still glancing back and had seen.

"This is how they react?"

"Well, not every girl would. Some wouldn't make any noise at all and some might come right up and tell you that they think you're handsome."

He didn't say anything more and was walking again. Kagome watched as his focus moved on to other things. He didn't look like a dog sniffing about, but it did seem that he was attaching the new smells of this world to the items they were coming from. The sidewalks became more congested and Kagome had to hold back a chuckle when she watched him turn his nose up at a women who passed by wearing so much perfume that it was even harsh on her human nose.

The city bustled around them. Brightly colored and noisy, they passed open shop doors and busses rumbled by. Completely out of place but confident, he moved on as if he'd done it all before. Only Kagome know what a fish out of water he was. It wasn't outwardly obvious until he asked another question.

"Some of these humans…" he began. She looked up at him as he spoke but he did not look at her. His eyes moved calmly from one thing to the next. "They look at me differently. The older ones, they are unlike the young women that laughed."

"Hmm," Kagome hadn't noticed before, but now that she looked around she caught a few of the older adults glancing his way and she knew instantly the expression that crossed their faces, but how was she going to tell him? She took a deep breath to steady herself. "Promise you won't be upset when I tell you," she began.

He turned his face to look down at her but said nothing. His bright amber eyes made her heart race.

"Your arm," she said stealing herself against whatever anger he might show, "Your missing arm reminds them of a great war. Before I was born, when Gramps was a young man, there was a terrible war and many of the countries of the world were involved. It ended when bombs were dropped; not here but not very far away either, in this country anyway. So many people were killed. Two entire cities were obliterated in the blink of an eye,"

"Bombs." He said.

"Bombs are very, very powerful weapons. They explode with tremendous force. Some cause smaller but still deadly explosions, but these were a new kind. These didn't just destroy a building or two. They turned almost everything in the cities to dust including the people. Not only that but they made any survivors and anyone in surrounding areas deathly ill. There were so many injuries that it became a common sight to see someone who was deformed… but, a long time has gone by and many of those people have passed away, many from lingering effects of the bombs. Those who are still alive and still remember that time see you and might be reminded of it."

"Because my arm is not there."

"That's right, because there were so many hurt like you… they… they pity you."

Sesshoumaru's hand instantly found her wrist and yanked her to a stop. His brows had creased a deep line between his eyes and lips pulled back as he spoke to show his sharp canine teeth.

"I do not need their pity!" he hissed at her.

"They mean well…" she said startled by his uncommonly obvious emotion.

"Do they not know who I am?" he snarled.

"I've lived in this time all of my life and have never seen anyone like you, so no, they don't know who you are."

"I am powerful beyond their imaginations. I will outlive all humans in my own time and there is no reason why I could not live well beyond this era!"

"But, maybe you didn't."

His expression fell flat and Kagome was grateful. She was afraid someone would confront him for treating her roughly. She gazed up at him. She wondered if he was thinking about the promise he and his brother had made. They'd both, in fits of rage, promised death upon the other. Maybe he was wondering if Inuyasha had won and he had been killed.

"Sesshoumaru, this is a very different time. Perhaps your future self thought it'd be a better idea to blend in with the human race. You could be out there somewhere living an amazing life. You could still be alive." She offered.

That was when Sesshoumaru began to look around as if he were searching.

"I cannot sense anyone,"

"What?" she asked.

"No other demons. I can feel some lesser souls and spirits but that is all." He explained.

"Oh… yes, I suppose that's true too. We don't have trouble with demons so much anymore." She suddenly regretted using the word "trouble" and hoped she hadn't insulted him. "The monks and demon slayers in the past must have done too good a job and wiped the world practically clean of any." She suddenly felt bad for using the word "clean" and promised herself that she'd choose her words more carefully. Would the world be a cleaner place without him? Was he trouble? No, she didn't think so. Looking up at him now all she saw was a beautiful man with haunting eyes and a sheen of silver hair. And it seemed that all the other young women walking by saw it too and were a little jealous that his hand was holding her wrist.

She suddenly felt self conscious and pulled her hand carefully away.

"You seemed to like the food my mother made this morning," she began, trying to change the subject. The comment seemed to bring him back from the thought that had stolen him away. "What do you say we take the money she left for us and try some other foods? There are so many things that I know you've never had before." She smiled brightly up at him.

"Hm," he replied.

…

The shop was a wash of color. Bins of sweets and sticky treats lined the walls and crowded the tables. The smells of each mingled to create a false summer sunshine aroma all year round. People with large toothy grins, punch drunk on childhood memories, scooped the sentimental candies they remembered into little clear plastic bags. A young woman in a frilly pink dress with purple ribbons bowed to each person that entered, welcomed them, and offered them a sample of chewy lemon drops.

Sesshoumaru stood in the midst of the commotion but did not move. His stark silver hair and height made him stand out from the people that moved to and fro. Kagome had vanished in amongst them somewhere after telling him not to move. He focused on something interesting on the shelf above a bin of little oval candies that smelt of honey… sort of.

It was black and covered in strange indents and markings. The most interesting thing was that it was producing music. Not any music he'd ever heard, but music none the less. But there were no instruments, no singer and It was far too small to contain any.

"It's called a radio," he glanced down at her with a start. He hadn't noticed Kagome walk up alongside him. He didn't like the feeling. Things rarely startled him and he quickly blames it on the mod of humanity that shifted around him. They were a distraction. "I know how it works but I'm not sure how to explain it to you." She told him pressing a finger to her chin in thought. "It involves invisible radio waves sent through the air for miles and miles and what's called speakers to create the sound. When we get home I'll draw you a graph to show you just what I mean."

He nodded faintly.

"What's that in your hand?" Kagome asked.

Sesshoumaru lifted the little bit of paper up for her to see and Kagome quickly pressed her hand to her cheek.

"Sesshoumaru, who gave that to you?"

"A woman," he told her.

"She just walked right up and handed it to you?"

"Hm,"

"What did she say?"

"She expressed her fondness for tall males,"

"What did you say to her?"

"Nothing,"

"Do you know what this is?" she asked.

"Why are you laughing at me?" he asked seriously.

"I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the situation. She gave you her phone number. See that writing? That's what that is. If you wanted to talk to her again, all you'd have to do is use an item called a phone, put that number into it and you could talk to her through it even if she's far away."

"Phone." He said.

"Yes,"

"I do not wish to talk to her."

"Of course not… I mean… alright." He handed her the slip of paper and she crumpled it up before dropping it to the floor. There came a strange satisfaction with the motion. "Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

"Hm,"

"It must feel strange for you to be in this crowd of humans."

His stare became distant again.

"I thought so. Alright, let's get going, okay?" she smiled and turned to walk back outside.

Out in the sunlight and breeze she held a little bag up for him to see. "Look at all of this! Oh, this one here will fizz on your tongue! This one is super sour. Oh!" she reached in and pulled something out. "Here, try this." She held it out for him.

He sniffed at the air before plucking it from her fingers.

"This is not food," he told her.

"Well, you're somewhat right, but it is eatable. Just put it in your mouth. Try it."

He placed it on his tongue and closed his mouth.

"So?"

"Hm,"

"That means you like it, right?"

He reached out and took the bag from her which made Kagome giggle with a childlike joy. As they walked he ate a few more pieces before handing the bag back to her. His gaze turned upward as they went and finally he stopped in his tracks.

The buildings were taller in this part of town and from here she could see the glisten of the Ferris wheel as is slowly turned in the park up the street.

The phone in her pocket rang. She fumbled to pull it out.

"Mushi mushi," she said.

"I'm just calling to make sure things are going well. Have you had lunch yet? Make sure that you two eat something."

Sesshoumaru began to lean over her.

"No we haven't eaten yet, we just had some candy." She told her mother.

He bent down a little further and held his ear so close to hers that his silver hair brushed her face. It made the breath catch in her throat and she knew she must be blushing.

"You shouldn't just have candy,"

"We just stopped at the candy store first, that's all… This is the phone I was telling you about."

"What's that?"

"Oh sorry, Mom. He was wondering about what I'm talking into. But, we just went to get some candy because he'd never had any before. We'll eat in a while, I promise."

"Good, how's his strength holding up?"

"Um, he seems alright. He has his moments."

"Alright, tell him that Gramps is still searching, but we're sure we'll find a way."

"Okay, Mom,"

"Take care, you guys,"

"Love you," Kagome hung up and Sesshoumaru straightened again.

"Kagome!" she heard. Her eyes darted around and found the source.

"Oh, hi guys," she said as her three best friends hurried up to them. Ayumi, Yuka and Eri had been her friends since she first began school and she'd always told them everything… until now. Since she fell though the well there were some things Kagome lied about. It was a strange sensation to tell them falsehoods and half truths, but how could she explain Inuyasha and now his brother?

"We didn't see you at school today,"

"No, um, I didn't feel well this morning, but now I feel better." She fibbed. Kagome hadn't wanted to need to explain Sesshoumaru but now it looked like she had little choice. What would she tell them? Her mind raced.

"That's good. Say, who's your friend." Eri asked.

"Yeah, is her related to your boyfriend? They look alike." Yuka added as she smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, this is Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru, these are my friends Ayumi, Eri and Yuka."

He frowned but nodded faintly.

"Very nice to meet you," the girls said almost in unison.

"He seems a little grumpy." Ayumi said, leaning in close and whispering into Kagome's ear.

"He's not used to people really, he grew up overseas." she whispered back, "Please don't take offence."

"Oh, he did? Alright." Ayumi said and smiled over at the tall, stoic stranger. "Well, we'd love to stay and talk, but we've got to go. We'll catch you later, Kagome!" she called as they left, waving back.

"Overseas." Sesshoumaru said.

"You heard me? I'm sorry. I didn't want them to ask too many questions."

"Questions."

"Yes, I knew they'd want to ask you about your brother," Sesshoumaru frowned, "And about where you came from and why you're so different. I didn't want them getting suspicious."

"Why?"

Kagome wasn't used to him asking such direct questions.

"They might have come snooping around the shrine and if they discovered what you really are… I'm just afraid of what might happen to you if people knew."

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened but Kagome had already turned away.

Had she said that she wished to protect him? It burnt him to the core to know that such a thing wished to protect him. He needed no such attentions from a human girl… and yet…

He watched her walking on without him, her glossy black hair swaying as she went.

There was something… curious about the little miko.

…

She'd noticed him slowing as they crossed a park. They were headed more or less toward home anyway so she decided it'd be best if they made their way there. It'd been a long day and he'd seen so much that was new. She'd ordered them lunch at a noodle booth and he'd eaten the bowl full slowly and with focus. She took him through an electronics store and tried to explain how it all worked. She did find a book that illustrated the working of radios and radio waves which she pawed through with him. He understood that it wasn't all powered by magic, but when she told him that humans had learned how to essentially create and capture lighting, he turned his nose up at the idea and made for the door.

"Sesshoumaru," Kagome said when she noticed his steps wavering, "would you like to sit for a moment?"

He continued on as if he hadn't heard her.

"Alright," she said with a sigh.

"You need not protect me." He growled.

"What?"

"You need not protect me!" he told her louder.

She stopped under the shade of a large tree beside the walkway.

"I…" she started but lost her words. Kagome felt hurt. Her tried and true stubborn streak was there to prop her back up. "What am I supposed to do!" she stomped her foot in frustration before matching right up to him. "I don't care what you think of me," she began, wagging a finger as she spoke, "And I really don't know what it is you think of me at all, but somehow we've ended up together. I would rather try to get along while we're here. Once we're back in the past I'll go back to staying out of your way if that's what you want, but for now it's my duty to make sure you're safe. It's my fault that you're here at all. So man up and deal with it. You're NOT all powerful right now and until you are I'm going to protect you if I have to and best I can!" She finished and began to march past him when her foot caught on a root.

Her arms grasped out at nothing as she felt herself begin to fall. Something caught her under the arms and lifted her up. She instantly recognized the two burgundy stripes, one on the edge of his hand and the other his wrist… Sesshoumaru.

He set her back down on her feet and a long heartbeat passed before he dropped his arm away.

"You are brave, miko." He told her, "Few speak to me in that manner and live."

She looked up at him with earnest honesty, "Would you?"

He was quiet though his eyes did not leave hers.

"You've tried before," she pointed out, "Tell me! Would you try again?"

He turned and started walking away.

"No!" Kagome hurried after him. "Answer me!" her hand found the back of his shirt and grabbed hold.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Release me." He said smoothly.

"Answer me. Would you still try to kill me?" She repeated.

"I wish not to think of such a thing at this time."

"You're the one who made the comment!"

He reached behind his back, took hold of her elegant little hand and pulled it like a bothersome thorn from his shirt. He turned methodically, his hand still wrapped around hers, and leaned slightly toward her. His narrow golden eyes found hers and he spoke.

"I will not to talk of this anymore."

He loosened his grip and she pulled her hand away from his.

The walk home was in silence. Kagome led the way and the disguised dog demon followed with long even paces.

…

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I've been looking for you." Kagome's grandfather said as they walked through the front door. Kagome continued by and climbed the stairs and out of sight. "If you don't mind I'd like to talk to you about your injuries." Her grandfather led Sesshoumaru out of the house and into one of the shrines a short distance away.

He asked the dog lord to sit as he pulled some old drawings from a shelf.

"These monks," Kagome's grandfather began, "they were a serious bunch. It seems that there is no spell left in existence that can completely eliminate the blades. All that can be used against their power are the halting coins you already wear under your bandages, but as you know their power fades over time. This means that the only way to remove the blades and spare your life is to cut them out."

Sesshoumaru did not know how to address the old man. He did not know his name. To call him grandfather would be to indicate that he was Sesshoumaru's elder, which he was not, and superior which Sesshoumaru believed to be absurd. But to call him old man would be disrespectful. Normally Sesshoumaru wouldn't have been concerned with whether or not he addressed anyone respectfully, but this time seemed different.

"Grandfather," Sesshoumaru finally spat out.

"Hmm? Yes, lad?"

"Where is their father?"

"Oh, do you mean Kagome and Sota's father? He left a long time ago when Kagome was very little and Sota was just a baby."

"Left."

"That's right."

"What reason did he have to leave?"

"He… he had a different life he wanted to live. A life that didn't include a young family. There was another woman and a chance at a new job. So he took off. I don't think Sota remembers anything about his father. I think Kagome remembers only a little, but she doesn't talk about it. He's never been back and frankly I don't care if he ever comes back at all. My daughter deserved so much better than tending this shrine with her old man, but she's never quite gotten over the shock of being abandoned." Gramps paused and a small smile crossed his lips, "But I keep hope that she'll become brave enough, someday, to find true love. There's always time for that."

Sesshoumaru looked off into the distance as the old man began again to talk about cutting the blades free.

"You are the priest of this shrine. You have spent your life learning about demons, correct?" the dog demon interrupted him.

"Yes,"

"Why?"

"To protect people,"

"To kill us,"

"…Yes… if I had to."

"If that is so, why do you not kill me? Why do you seek to heal me? I will regain my strength. Do you not consider me a danger?"

"I'll admit, Kagome has told me about what kind of person you are. She told me that you've done some terrible things… and that did worry me. But she's asked me to help you. And if she believes that you're worth my help and that you won't hurt anyone, I will do my best to heal you."

Sesshoumaru seemed to hesitate.

"Are there any of us left?"

"Any…any demons?"

"Am I the only one?"

"There are many spirits, some attached to houses and other's wander around…"

"No, not spirits. Demons. Full demons like me."

"Well… I haven't come across a full demon like you in this time. Your brother, I've met him, but he's from the past like you and only a half demon, so I suppose he doesn't count seeing as how he's not from this time. I will tell you, though, I don't get to leave town much. There may well be more like you beyond this city."

"The monks that attacked me did not care who I was, only that I was a demon." He said mostly to himself. "Grandfather, I am weary. I will return to your house and rest." He stood.

"That's fine… but ah, Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"Hm,"

"I noticed that Kagome seemed a little upset when you two came home. I just want to ask you to please be careful with her feelings. She's very young and has an awful lot riding on her shoulders with problems of both her own time and the past."

Sesshoumaru nodded and left.

He walked back into the house and found it quiet and still. Kagome's mother and brother were not at home. Sesshoumaru followed his nose up the staircase and to a closed door. He opened it and strode in.

"Oh my god, Sesshoumaru!" her hands flew for the nearest towel which she, in a blink, pulled down over herself. The water in the tub swished and splashed around her and out onto the floor.

The dog lord gazed down at her with no more expression than normal.

"Get out!" she shouted.

"I would not." He said.

"You have to! Now get out!" she sat in the bellybutton deep water, clinging to the now soaked towel that was the only thing hiding her nudity. Bubbles dripped from her hair and a bottle of shampoo clattered to the tiled floor.

"You do not understand… I mean that I would not."

"You wouldn't wha… oh! You mean… what we were talking about before that you didn't want to talk about."

"Hm,"

"You would… not kill me?"

sesshoumaru nodded just a little.

Kagome sat for a long moment where she was. She didn't quite know how she should deal with the moment at hand... So, being Kagome, she decided to listen to her heart. She carefully stood up and wrapped the towel tightly around herself in such a manner that wouldn't reveal anything and tucked it along the top so it would hold itself up.

She stepped up and stood, dripping, on the edge of the tub which made her the same hight as him.

"That means a lot to me," she said as she rung the water from a washcloth. "It was flattering, really, that you called me brave. I liked that part." She moved the cloth calmly to his face, "Coming from you that's a huge compliment." She said as she began to clean the foundation from his skin, "Thank you, Sesshoumaru. And actually, I was thinking that I should apologize to you. I shouldn't have been such a pest earlier. Sometimes my temper gets the better of me. You'd just caught me when I tripped and I know that otherwise would have fallen on my face and I went and threw a hissy fit."

"Hissy fit." He repeated.

"Tantrum," she said, pulling the damp cloth tenderly across his forehead. "I should have been grateful and I just want you to know now that I was and I am… and I'm sorry."

"Hm,"

"There…" she said tilting her head a little and smiling sweetly. "After a whole day of not seeing them, I began to miss your stripes." She stepped down and held the door open. "Now, let me finish washing up and I'll come find you in a little bit, alright? If you want, the rest of the candy's in my… well, I know your nose already knows right where it is."

He was still.

"Help yourself, okay?"

He walked out of the doorway and stood in the hall looking back at her. Her wet skin and damp hair shone brightly in the light of the little white room… he hesitated.

"Hm," he finally said when his sensitive ears heard footsteps downstairs.

She smiled and closed the door again.

…

Sesshoumaru walked to the bottom of the stairs where he could hear Kagome's mother and brother in the kitchen. He ignored them and returned to the little room that held his possessions. He searched his clothing and found what he was looking for.

The little white shell sat on his palm.

His side burned and head pounded. There was a strange numbness in the back of his throat and his spine ached with each movement. He felt weak… he hadn't felt weak since he was a child sparring with his father.

It was an unsettling feeling that he was not used to.

The dog demon laid down on the futon to rest his weary body… could he… die? He wondered awkwardly.

Could this kill him?

…

He opened his eyes with a start and quickly propped himself up on his elbow. The movement had been a mistake and he closed his eyes against the wash of nausea that passed over his being. The sickening, head spinning pain.

"It's okay, it's just me." He heard Kagome's mother say.

"Hm," He laid himself back down and looked around the little room. It was dark, all but the light that fell in through the open doorway from the hall. Through the windows he could see the night sky.

He must have fallen asleep.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, I need to talk to you about something." She began.

He turned his haunting eyes back toward her.

"My father and I have been talking over what to do about your wounds. He told me that the only way to save you is to cut the blades out." She said as she sat beside the futon on the floor.

He didn't respond.

"My father doesn't think he could do it. But…" she signed almost silently, "When I was younger, before I became a mother, I was taught how to be a nurse. I was trained in trauma care and think, that if given the right tools, I might be able to do it. My father says that as soon as the coins are removed the blades will regain their power. You'll begin to…" she looked away.

She understood that he was, in reality, a powerful dog demon. He was an ancient monster. But to her he just looked like an over tired boy. A beautiful young man with a lost look in his eyes. And in all of this world he had no one else but her little family.

She steadied herself against what she was about to say.

"You'll begin to die." She managed to tell him. "But if I can work quickly enough and am able to remove the blades in time you'll regain all of your lost strength. So the reason I came to see you is to ask you if that's what you'd want. Do you want me to try to remove them?"

He said nothing, only rolled onto his good side which meant that he was facing away.

A worried look creased Kagome's mother's brow. She reached her deft little hands out and pulled the blanket up from where it'd been tossed aside to shelter him from the cool night air. She picked up his long braid and removed the hair tie from the end.

"Did you get to see much of the city today?" she began as she pulled the braid apart and ran her fingers through his hair to straighten it out again. "This is an amazing time isn't it?"

"Hm,"

"Are you hungry? You need to keep your strength up no matter what you decide."

"No,"

"Alright, but if you change your mind I've left a plate of rice balls in the fridge… oh, that's the big white thing that hums and is cold inside. And there's a glass of water beside you that I left for you earlier while you were still sleeping." She smoothed his hair down on the pillow behind him.

"It would seem that I have underestimated humans." He said quietly.

"How so?"

"This world you have built. I would not have thought it possible for humans to create such a place."

"Well, it's not all good. There are poor places too, and wars, and we need to learn to protect nature more." She listed.

"I will not underestimate you… I ask that you remove the blades from my side."

"I promise I will try my very best. Medicine is much more advanced than it used to be. I'll talk to my father in the morning and if I can get the tools together we might be able to do it as soon as tomorrow night. Won't it be a relief to be better again?" she said with a sigh. "I haven't been able to stop worrying about you since Kagome and I pulled you out of the well." She brushed his bangs away from his face, leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the side of the forehead. "Don't worry about a thing. We'll soon have you all healed up. Now, Sleep well and sweet dreams." She said as she stood and quietly walked out of the room.

She left the door open just a crack and the kitchen light on down the little hall so that his tiny room would not be such a completely dark and unfamiliar place should he wake in the night.

His hand tightened around the little object that still sat in his fist. The little white shell still lay curled under his fingers.

…

Kagome turned over in her bed and opened her eyes again. She was having such a hard time sleeping. Her mother had told her about the possibility of a surgery, that was if Sesshoumaru chose it, and it had worried her terribly since.

She sighed and looked toward the only light in the room, her alarm clock.

3:12am.

She pressed her hands to her face and groaned in frustration.

"Miko."

Kagome gasped and sat up. She fumbled for the little light beside her bed and flicked it on. The soft glow flooded the room.

"Sesshoumaru, you scared me half to death!"

He was silent and stood motionless watching her as she settled herself back down. She propped a pillow up behind her back and signed.

"What brings you to my room at this hour?" She asked.

"What does Rin think of me?" she heard him ask. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"You are a human female and were once as small as she."

"That's true," she couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"What might she think of me?"

"You don't understand how a child thinks?" she pressed a thoughtful finger to her lip. "I suppose it has been hundreds of years since you were one. What do demon children think of demon adults?" she asked.

He didn't respond.

"Well… As for what you are, she doesn't care. She knows, I'm sure, that you're not human, but it wouldn't matter to her. As for who you are, I'm quite certain she loves you as if you were her own father."

"Father… What does a human child expect of a father?"

"… I… If I'd had my father around." She sighed, "Sesshoumaru, please sit down," she patted the bed with her hand.

He did so.

"Little girls want a father who thinks that they are special. She wants to feel like she's important to you. She'll want to grow up to be just as brave and confident as her father and when she deals with other men later in her life she won't tolerate anyone who doesn't treat her as well as her father did." She paused, "Actually, there are many girls who grow up with fathers that treat them poorly and they spend their entire lives with men who treat them just as bad. It's important that a girl have a father figure in her life who wants only the best for her."

"Poorly."

"Fathers who ignore them, tell them they are stupid and or hit them…things like that. But, I know… just by the look I've seen in her eyes that she adores you. You've taken on a lot of responsibility, raising a human girl." She commented sweetly.

"… I would not change it."

She was surprised. She'd never thought he'd actually say something like that. Think it maybe, she had no idea what went on in his head… but say it? No.

He held something out for her to see.

"Your mother will cut the blades away." He told her.

"You chose to go ahead with it?"

"Hm,"

"They told me about the possibility over dinner and I've been so worried… but they don't know what else to do."

"…If I do not survive…"

"Oh, don't talk like that!"

"Rin is not with Jaken. I am certain that he will search for her but do not know how long it will take him to find her. She was possessed by a spirit," He set the shell in Kagome's hand, "that once lived in this shell."

"Posessed!" Kagome said, her voice thick with concern.

"If I do not survive… will you retrieve Rin?"

"Of course I will!"

"I left her in the care of a human priestess at the edge of the city two mountains west of the Bone Eaters Well. Will you also inform Jaken? He will decide his own fate afterward. Despite his apparent irritation with the girl, I suspect he will want to remain in her company."

"Yes, of course." Kagome took a deep breath in the stillness of the dim light, "You're the strongest demon I've ever seen. I'm sure you'll be just fine. And when you're all better you and I can both go get Rin." Kagome smiled up at him.

Sesshoumaru did not look convinced. What he said next wasn't an outright admission of weakness, but coming from him it might as well have been and it hurt Kagome just as much to hear.

"You will find her. Should I die, you will honor the agreement we've just made."

"Yes, absolutely." she assured him.

They sat in heavy stillness for a long moment, until Kagome couldn't take it anymore.

"I… My grandfather gave me these to give to you," she hopped out of bed and picked up a stack of clothing. "They're for you to sleep in and these are fresh clothes for tomorrow." She told him dividing the pile in two. "But when I went to give them to you you were already asleep. Would you like to change into them now? You'd probably be more comfortable."

"Hm," he began to unbutton his shirt and pull it off.

Kagome's heart fluttered a little when she saw the four other stripes she hadn't known of before, two stripes just above each hip… But she frowned when she saw that he'd been bleeding through his bandages.

"Here, change into the shorts first." she said pointing. "This is the front." She explained, "While I run and get some clean bandages and I'll change those old ones."

He nodded before she left the room.

…

"I don't know what to do with her," a woman's voice said from the other room. "She's been sleeping since and I feel she won't wake for a long while longer."

"He just left her here?" a different female voice asked.

"Indeed, and told me he'd wait outside, but as you see he's left. You can't ever trust them, liars to the bone. But he may still return for her and that is what I fear."

"We will have to be ready. You know the Blue Monks are said to be coming this way. Perhaps they may be able to help."

"That is a good idea. I am sure that they will be able to slay the demon."

Rin sat up in the dark. Her large brown eyes became wide with worry. Where was she? She knew that they were talking about Lord Sesshoumaru. He'd left her here? He wasn't a liar! She knew that given time he'd return for her, but she could not stay if these voices meant him harm. She'd find and warn him.

She pulled herself up out of the pile of blankets.

"What will you do with the girl?" she heard as she crept to the window.

"I will have to give her away. I do not want her but she cannot go back to him. It is completely unsuitable for a child to be in the company of a demon."

Rin pulled herself up and out of the room then tumbled into the long grass beside the house. She froze worried that the people might have heard her… but they went on talking.

She hopped to her feet and ran toward the dim light of the quiet city. The little girl vanished across a dew wet field thick with drifting fireflies.

…

When Kagome returned he was seated on her bed in only the shorts and the bandage around his abdomen. His long silver hair glistened in even the dim light of her little lamp and draped heavily over his shoulders. His head hung forward and eyes were closed.

she froze for an awkward moment in the doorway. What a sight. He was an amazing creature... Stunning.

She took a deep breath.

"Sesshoumaru, are you alright?"

He was quiet. Kagome knew that he'd never admit physical weakness but the battered and tired look of him spoke volumes.

"It hurts doesn't it? I'm sorry there's not more I can do. The coins must be weakening." She said as she set the new bandages on the bed. Her hands trembled for an instant as her fingers touched his warm skin. She sighed inwardly, pushed the distracting little feeling away and began to remove the old bandages. She was careful to keep a hand on each coin as it was exposed and hold it against his skin until she could wrap it securely against his side again. They were both silent until she finished the job. She cleaned up quickly and nodded at her work.

"That's much better. You can put your shirt on now."

He picked up the t-shirt and pulled it on over his head.

Kagome giggled.

"Hm," he said.

"It's on backwards, that's all. The picture of the tree goes on the front." She said.

He looked down at himself before wiggling the shirt around to the other side.

"Miko."

"Yeah?"

"What is this I feel?"

"What do you mean?"

"I do not know how to explain."

"I can't say for sure if you don't try." She said as she sat beside him on the bed.

"… I cannot stop thinking of Rin and the possibility that she may be in an unfavorable situation. It causes me…" he trailed off.

Kagome smiled. She was pleasantly surprised. Kagome had been sure that there were at least three things, if not more, completely unknown to Sesshoumaru. Hope, for only the weak needed it. Regret, for only the uncertain suffered it… and…

"Worry," she told him. "You're worried about her. Does it make you feel like you'd fight for her should you find her in trouble?"

"Hm,"

"Yes, that's worry. Every father worries about his children especially when he can't check to make sure they're alright." She explained.

"Your father does not."

"Who… who told you that?" she asked suddenly flustered.

He didn't say anything.

"My mom?"

Nothing

"Gramps?"

Still nothing.

"Gramps would tell you." She grumbled.

"I enquired." He finally said.

"Why?" Kagome looked over at the little shell she'd left on her nightstand and it became clear to her. "… You've been trying to figure out if you're a good parent… haven't you? And what she'd feel like if you didn't make it back?"

His eyes shifted away from her.

"I was told that your father has not bothered to contact you since he left."

Kagome gripped her knees and took a deep breath.

"No, he might not worry about me. I don't know. He's been gone for so long. But if you don't go back, I'm certain she'll love you just as much, because I'll find her and tell her what happened; that you never meant to leave her alone. And she won't be alone. We'll take care of her."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed a little. Kagome knew what he was thinking.

"You may not like your brother and it may be an insult to think that he'd be around her, but you must admit, he cares about humans and would protect her with his life. No, my father did not stay, but if I knew that he didn't mean to leave I'd love him as though he hadn't left at all… I suppose that even though he did mean to… I still love him a little anyway… it's in human nature."

"Your mother is attentive."

"She tucked you in didn't she?" Kagome said with a radiant smiled. "Yes, my mother is a wonderful parent. My Gramps is too. I had a good childhood."

Sesshoumaru stood slowly and Kagome stood just in case. His pale skin was even whiter than normal.

"I…" he paused, "I wish to be a good father." He told her. "If I am able to return."

Kagome didn't know why she did it. She had no intention too. There was just such an honest and simple beauty to his statement, an innocent way about the entire idea. The very fact that he did not understand and sought from her the answers he needed to become what Rin needed touched her heart like little else in the world ever had. Thus in a blind instant her arms were wrapped around him. She had sense enough to be careful of his wounds but not enough to stop herself.

His body stiffened.

"Little miko…" he said as flatly as ever.

She pulled herself away and covered her mouth with her hands, startled by her own actions. She quickly bowed.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I just… I'm so happy to know that you care about her so much. She needs someone like you. You and Jaken are all that Rin has and it makes me so happy to know that you want what's best for her."

"Hm," he nodded almost unnoticeably, turned and left the room.

Kagome was left with a thankful joy in her heart and a worry about tomorrow night.

…

The morning light spread slowly over the still sleeping city. Only the fishermen wandered through the quiet streets on their way to their ships and the sea.

Rin rubbed her eye, wiping another tear away. She'd been searching all night and had found nothing. After steadying herself again the determined child turned a corner and ran into what felt like a brick wall. She stumbled back in surprise and turned her face upward.

Long strands of silver hair drifted slightly in the morning breeze.

"Lord Sessoumaru!" she shrieked wrapping her arms around his leg.

"What! Oh, it's you!" an unexpected but familiar voice said above her. She looked up again.

It wasn't her Lord Sesshoumaru. She did know this thing before her… his half demon half brother.

"Inuyasha…" she said quietly.

"You are her! I recognize your scent… That and you still smell like my bastard brother." He huffed as he was crossing his arms. "Get lost, kid. Go back to him." The half demon said as he shook her little hands from his, leg then turned and began to walk away.

Rin stood there for a moment.

Inuyasha grumbled under his breath before his pointed dog-like ears perked up and he looked back. When he did she stopped in her tracks. Her little hands grasped at each other in a worrisome way.

"Quit followin' me!" He barked loudly at her. She visibly shook when he said it. Then he turned and marched on a little faster.

A few moments later he glanced back again. He just caught her figure ducking behind the corner of a shed. He turned on his heel and headed right for it. With one long arm he reached into her hiding spot and dragged her out by the back of her collar. She wiggled a little until Inuyasha held her up at eye level and spoke.

"I said, go back to him." He growled at her slowly.

"But I can't. He's gone!" she yelped.

"Gone?" This news caught Inuyasha's interest.

"Lord Inuyasha,"

"I'm no lord." He corrected her.

She was suddenly uncertain of how to address him.

"Big brother," she began again, "You have many of the same traits as Lord Sesshoumaru, right?"

"More, I'd say." He puffed out his chest a little.

"Can you help me find him? Can you follow his scent? Something happened and I woke up in a strange woman's house. She was talking to someone else and said that she didn't want me to go back to him. She said that they'd tell monks to kill him."

"Good, it'd save me the trouble." He commented gruffly.

The little girl dangling from his fist whimpered softly. Her big brown eyes began to well with tears and she covered her face with her sleeves.

"If you don't help me who will?" she whispered.

"What about the toad?"

"I don't know where Jaken is either."

"Oh, come on," Inuyasha whined.

"Lord Sesshoumaru's not bad… he's not." She sobbed.

"Crap," he said softly as he set her down on her feet. He knelt in front of her. "Shhh shhh, Calm down,"

"If I can't find him, where am I supposed to go?" She mumbled as she cried.

"Listen… hey, listen for a minute." He pulled her hands away from her face and she timidly looked him in the eyes. She was glad that she did. His bright golden eyes were so much like Lord Sesshoumaru's, it was a little like finding her way home. She was able to still herself. "I'm trying to find Kagome."

Rin knew that name. She'd met the young miko before and liked her very much.

"Kagome is missing too?" she asked.

"She was supposed to meet me and my friends here the day before yesterday but she didn't show up. I'm on my way back to the well to find her. You can come with me if you want. Who knows, Sesshoumaru might be somewhere along the way." He offered.

She nodded quickly. "Yes please," She said.

…

That morning, before he'd woken up, Kagome left his new change of clothes just inside his door. He'd forgotten them in her room the night before. An hour later as she sat at the breakfast table he walked down the hallway toward her, dressed in them.

"Good morning, Sesshoumaru."

He looked over at Kagome's mother who smiled back as she walked to his side. She took the safety pins she'd spotted in his hand from him and rolled up the empty sleeve at his side.

"There you go. Do you want some breakfast?" she asked as she went back to the meal she was packing into a bento box.

"No… I wish not to eat right now." He told her looking to the floor.

"That's alright, you don't have to if you really don't feel well." She said as Sota entered the room.

"Good morning, Lord Sesshoumaru." He said with a bow.

"Hm,"

"Here you go, Sota." Their mother said as she handed the boy his lunch. "Have a good day at school." She gave him a hug and a kiss on the top of his head before he hurried out the door.

Sesshoumaru's attention was taken by the doorway and he waited a moment before following the boy out. He stepped out in time to see Sota hopping away down the staircase at the other end of the courtyard that led to the road. The bright and new day spread out before him and he stood unhidden in it. The people that passed along the sidewalk below did not bother to look up but had they they might have noticed him there with his markings and pointed ears. He did not fear that one would. He did not fear much at all. It is often true that we don't when we think that the end of life may be so near.

The night had not been restful or reassuring for the dog lord. His rest had been troubled. Exhaustion had forced him to sleep but pain would repeatedly wake him. His heart beat too quickly, his body shook, his lungs burned. His limbs felt heavy and broken. Sesshoumaru could feel his very soul dying away. He was being cleansed, purified, by the blades of men who believed that what they were doing was right.

To protect people.

Inside Kagome stood and washed her plate. She looked out the window at the demon.

"Mom," she said as she set the dish to dry, "Have you gotten things ready yet?"

"I have a few things to get today but I'll be ready by this evening."

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

"I'm as sure as I can be. I've found my tools and reread my books last night. If he's as much like a human on the inside as he is on the out, I think we have a fair chance… besides, it's not like we can just take him to a hospital. If they found out… he'd be a very powerful weapon that any army would be happy to own."

"I know,"

"Take him out to town again or somewhere nice. Take his mind off of what we're getting ready for. Besides, if it doesn't work… this is his last day."

"Don't say that,"

"The makeup's on top of the fridge."

…

He sat perfectly still as she braded his long hair to hide his delicately pointed ears. He didn't flinch as she dabbed the foundation on over the markings on his face. In hardly any time at all he looked remarkably human.

They walked along the sidewalk in sunny silence. Birds chirped, children giggled, people chattered, but they didn't speak to each other. Kagome knew that Sesshoumaru must have been homesick by now… or was that another emotion he probably didn't feel?

Well, he missed Rin. She was sure he was anxious to get back to her and probably even Jaken.

But he was also walking slower and kept his eyes focused on the ground. She knew he was in pain but discerning just how much was difficult since his face gave so little away. So she walked a little slower to stay by his side. She wouldn't pester him about it. She was certain that if he really felt horrible he'd turn around and go back or would have refused to go in the first place… probably.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru came to an intersection and stopped to wait for the crosswalk signal.

She couldn't help but ask. How could she not. It was completely in her nature to be concerned about others, human or not and she only hesitated a moment, worried about insulting him somehow before she asked.

"Sesshoumaru, are you feeling alright enough to be walking around like this?"

"Hm,"

"Right now I can't figure out what that means. Please tell me straight." She said.

"I would much rather be out here than waiting for the end in there." He told her.

"Oh, alright. I understand… but… my mom's going to try her best."

"I am certain that she will." Sesshoumaru said quietly.

"I had an idea earlier." She began, "Would you like to see something that probably hasn't changed much?"

"Hm,"

"The sea,"

He turned his eyes toward her with something almost akin to interest within them and the look made Kagome smile. They crossed the street as the cross light blinked. Alright then, they'd go to the sea.

…

The rain was a hateful and spiteful thing. Not always. Not even normally. But now when Inuyasha needed to find a scent the most, to have it rain and wash it all away was terrible. He'd lead Rin out of the city and through the woods toward the well. The idea had been to search for her scent there and follow it to wherever she may be. But now he had no idea what he'd do. There was only one thing to do. He'd check lady Kaede's house and if Kagome wasn't there he'd leave Rin with Kaede and jump into the well to find her in her own time.

"B-big broth-ther?" the little voice behind him stammered.

He stopped and turned to look down at her.

"I'm c-cold." She chattered through her teeth.

"Oh, come on, kid." he grumbled.

She gazed up at him with her big brown eyes, her hair hung wet around her little face and she'd tucked her hands under her arms to keep them warm. It wasn't a horribly cold day at all. It was late spring, but the rain had cooled it down quite a bit.

"Alright," he sighed, "Come here." He knelt and held out his arms to her.

She hurried over and smiled as he picked her up. Inuyasha pulled one arm out of his sleeve and held her in the crook of that elbow. Then he pulled the empty half of his hitoe over both her and the arm that held her. She snuggled up against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"At least you don't weigh anything." He told her.

…

The waves washed , churned and smashed against the rocks. Kagome had taken them to a quiet spot she knew of. There was never anyone there. There was only about fifteen feet of soft sand between two huge rock piles that made the hideaway completely private.

"So," Kagome began as she slipped her sandals off and wiggled her toes in the sand. "I think it looks a lot like it used to… I mean if you ignore that ship way out there." She tilted her head a little.

"Hm,"

He seemed to be miles away. His eyes gazed out over the ocean and his entire being seemed to go with them.

"It's timeless," she said mostly to herself. She left her sandals where they were and began to walk along to the rocks that reached out into the sea quite a way beyond the sandy beach. She climbed onto the stones and began to walk out along them until she was surrounded by sea water on both sides. It rushed in vigorously and rushed back just as quickly. Kagome hunched over, resting her hands on her knees and peered down into the puddles that were left in the spaces between the boulders.

A crab scuttled about in the trapped pool. When the tide came in the crab would find its way out again. The bright sun dazzled the bottom of the pool making the little shells look bright and the pebbles glisten.

Sesshoumaru was suddenly there by her side. How did he move so silently?

"The sea is beautiful and full of life. You'd hardly know by looking at only the surface that so much more was going on underneath." she mused.

"Hm,"

She stood and walked further along the boulders. Kagome took a step too far and her foot slipped. She felt herself start to fall and took a deep breath, before she plunged into the salty water.

She'd half expected him to catch her again, like he had when she'd tripped over the root. But she had time to remind herself that he was weaker than he'd been yesterday.

She returned to the surface with a gasp. Her shoulder hurt terribly as she tried to bring her arm up to swim.

"Ah!" she was able to cough out before a wave washed over her head and plunged her under again.

She felt the sting of saltwater and battered pain as she was pushed back into the rocks. She almost let the air in her lungs go. Kagome opened her eyes just in time to see the blurry outline of an arm grab her by the shirt and pull her upward and out.

Sesshoumaru was in the water beside her, holding her head above the salty sea.

He pulled her around to his back and she wrapped her good arm around his neck. Steadily he swam them back to the beach. Together they walked slowly from the water. Kagome dropped to her knees in the sand while Sesshoumaru set himself down with far more dignity.

"Th…thank you. I think I hurt my shoulder. Can you see if it's bleeding?"

"It is not." He said simply.

She craned her neck but could see anything.

"It's not?"

"No."

"That's good," she signed. It still hurt and she knew she'd have a great big bruise.

"Thank you, thank you," she repeated. "You… we're lucky that makeup's waterproof." She sputtered with a nervous giggle.

She found that something within her being fluttered.

"Hm,"

"I'm too much of a klutz to be out on those rocks. I should have known better." She sighed.

"Klutz," he echoed.

"It means that I don't have much grace. That I'm clumsy."

"You are not." He stated.

Kagome's eyes widened just a little.

"… Thank you." She told him carefully. "It's nice that you'd say that."

That sat for a long while on the sand as their clothes dried in the warm sun. Kagome stole glances of the amazing way Sesshoumaru's hair looked when it hung in heavy wet, bright silver strands down his back. Neither said anything more, though. He seemed a million miles away anyway.

When they were dry again Kagome got up to dusted the sand off of her clothes. Sesshoumaru began to ask questions about certain scents in the air… which were hard for her to answer considering she couldn't smell them… she assumed many of them came from ships at the boatyard nearby… after a little while longer they got up and walked back to town.

Kagome tried to fill the rest of their day with things she knew he wouldn't be able to do once he was back in the past. She bought him ice cream, they rode in a taxi and went to a movie.

She had fun explaining to him how they captured images and sound.

Afterward she took him to a lookout atop one of the tallest buildings in town to show him the city from above.

When they finally began to walk back toward her family's shrine, Kagome knew that there was so much more that she wanted to show him about the future she lived in, but there just wasn't the time.

She knew that there may never be the time.

Her throat went dry as her eyes began to fog. She blinked heavily a few times trying to clear them again but instead she felt tears run down her cheeks. Her hand went quickly to wipe them away.

"Little miko,"

"Yes?"

"What troubles you?'

He'd seen.

Was he watching her?

"Nothing… I mean… no, not nothing. I'm worried about you." She admitted totally.

"Hm," he said and to her surprise went on, "Worry will not help."

"I know it won't."

"Human are strange things."

"Yes… yes we are." She said as she ran her sleeve under her eyes.

…

The kitchen table was covered in a white sheet. Two floor lamps from the living room had been moved into the kitchen to add more light. Kagome's mother had set up a tray of tools. Tweezers, an embroidery hook, three different scalpels, gauze, rubbing alcohol and a few other things.

Kagome looked nervously up at Sesshoumaru's stoic face. It didn't seem to concern him… but by now she knew better.

He noticed that she was looking at him and glanced down at her. She offered him a small sympathetic smile.

His brows furrowed slightly before he looked away.

Well… she thought she knew better anyway.

"How are you feeling, Sesshoumaru?" Kagome's mother asked as she walked into the room.

"Hm,"

"We're going to have you lay on the table. I hope that's alright, it's just that it's the right height for me to work at."

"We're ready now," Gramps said as he entered the room with a box of surgical gloved and a small headlamp. "Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru, you're back. Are you ready too?"

"Yes… though, I wish a moment to speak with you alone."

"Ah, of course, let's step outside."

Kagome and her mother watched in silence as the two men walked out into the fading sunlight.

"Mom, do you really think you can do this?" Kagome asked slowly.

"I'm going to try my best, Kagome. You know we can't just bring him to a hospital." She put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Kagome, he's come to mean a lot to everyone in this family and your grandfather and I are going to do everything we can to save him."

"I know mom… I know."

…

"What is it, lad?"

"Grandfather," Sesshoumaru began. "I am ready for this attempt to remove the blades…"

"That's good. I hope you're not worried. We're going to do everything we can and my daughter was well trained."

"I want you to make me a promise."

"Ah? What's that?"

Gramps looked up at the tall men with curious eyes.

"From this point onward, were you to cross the path of someone like me…"

"Like you?" Gramps interrupted.

"A demon…There may not be any of us left in this future. Still… were you to find one, you will think before killing it."

It was a funny thing, really. Gramps had almost forgotten that this handsome being was anything other than his friend. A distant and quiet friend, but a friend none the less. He'd forgotten that he was any different than himself. But he was, wasn't he? He was a demon.

"I…" he tried to say.

He looked up at the tall pale figure. The white hair, the white skin, the white button up shirt. Especially since his markings were covered and the points of his hears hidden. His amber eyes didn't waver in the slightest as he waited for an answer. How could he… how could he ever harm someone like this knowing what Sesshoumaru had come to mean to him and his family?

"Of course," he said, "You have shown me that a full demon is not what I once thought it was. I will be sure to know who a demon is rather than only what it is before I decide whether or not humanity needs protecting from it." He paused, "Sesshoumaru, I'd like to ask you something. When you look at me, what do you see?"

"A human,"

"Other than that,"

"A young creature,"

"Flattering but still, other than that,"

Sesshoumaru parted his lips as if to say something but didn't.

"As a person, my personality, who I am," Kagome's grandfather said, "What do you think of when you see me?"

"I am unaccustomed to contemplating the traits of humans."

"Really?"

"I do not often have need of them,"

"Would you think of me as a friend?"

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything… but that was alright. Gramps was sure that he knew the answer anyway.

"I think you of as my friend." He said looking up at the dog demon with a smile.

"Thank you, Grandfather." Sesshoumaru nodded just a little.

"No, thank you, Lord Sesshoumaru." Gramps replied with a bow.

…

Kagome couldn't watch so she sat outside on the front steps with Sota.

She'd watched as her mother had carefully removed his shirt and pulled the bandages away just enough to give him injections of Novocain. It was all she'd been able to get her hands on on such short notice… and it turned out that didn't work on him anyway.

Of course it wouldn't.

She'd watched him climb calmly onto the table despite the lack of painkillers.

She'd watched as Gramps unwrapped the bandages.

"Are you ready?" he'd asked as he exposed the coins.

"Hm,"

"I apologies, this may hurt and you may feel weak and ill."

"I am ready,"

"Here we go," his quick fingers plucked up the coins.

And Sesshoumaru's eyed squeezed shut. Kagome felt her heart race and hugged herself. It was just then that the finality of it all rushed over her. This may be it. This may be his last few hours… if even that.

Her mother's deft little fingers worked hurriedly.

"No no, don't bother sanitizing the area. If we are fortunate enough to remove them he'll regain his full powers and have no fear of infection anyway! And if we fail…" Gramps stopped talking so Kagome's mother picked up a scalpel.

That was when Kagome left the kitchen and found Sota outside.

They sat in silence watching the fireflies that drifted through the courtyard in the still night air. Far off they could see the twinkling lights of town.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Sota asked.

"What?" Kagome said.

"When someone dies it seems like the whole world should stop and take notice. They should all realize what a horrible thing's just happened and be still... quiet… but everything just keeps going onward and leaves that person behind. It just keeps on moving away from the person's last moment like it's forgotten about them."

"He's not going to die!" Kagome said in a loud whisper as she turned sharply to face him.

"It's just an observation. I'm not saying that I think he'd going to die… I was just thinking out loud." Sota explained.

"You're mature so far beyond your years, little brother."

"I guess that's a good thing,"

"Mostly, I just hope you're not missing out on being a kid." Kagome told him.

"I haven't really gotten much time to talk to him." Sota said.

"Yeah?"

"I hope he's okay after all of this so that maybe someday he and I can say more than two words to each other. I think he's a really interesting person."

"Me too,"

She agreed with all of it. If this were his last night… she'd never get to talk to him again either. She'd just met him! She'd met him before, of course, but this was the first time she'd met him for real. The first time she'd gotten to really talk to him and get to know him as more than just Inuyasha's angry older brother. It was too soon for him to go. She had so much more she wanted to know… so much more she wanted to say. There was still so much more that could happen in both their lives. And…

Kagome was confused.

Her eyes gazed at her nervously tapping heel as she thought.

She knew that she had feelings for Inuyasha… but he… he never seemed that interested in her.

His brother though…

No!

She shook the idea away. Was she really developing a crush on Sesshoumaru? She thought that maybe she was!

It was silly, it was insane, it was… hopeless.

He wasn't at all interested in her. He hadn't shown the slightest sign if any sort of affection toward her and she was sure nothing was going to change that. He'd seen her naked and not even raised an eyebrow. If that wasn't a lack of interest she didn't know what was. No… the only human he cared about was Rin and who could blame him, she was just like his daughter and cute as a button. Who was Kagome to him? Just a confusing girl from a different time.

That's all she was

She knew it.

Kagome sighed just a little. She felt her brother's arm around her shoulders.

"He'll be alright, Kagome." He told her.

…

"Kagome!" she heard her mother call. She turned and her grandfather was already at the door.

"Kagome," he began but she was already on her feet and squeezing by him. She didn't look right away. She was afraid that she wasn't ready to see one of the two possible outcomes so kept her focus on the floor as she ducked under Gramps' arm. But when she looked up she was speechless.

Sesshoumaru stood tall and regal. He looked down at her as he always did, with a stone clear expression.

The wounds on his side… they were knitting shut before her eyes… healing clean like they'd never been there.

Gramps picked up one of the blades.

"Sesshoumaru, do you mind if I keep these. I'll keep them hidden here at the shrine."

"You may," he said smoothly.

Kagome covered her mouth as she began to smile. She longed to hug. Hug someone… but she knew he'd not like the idea so she threw her arms around her mother.

"You did it. Oh Mom! I knew you could do it! Thank you so much!"

…

Kagome had spent the rest of the night showering and doing all the things she'd put off when she could do nothing other than worry. But that time had passed and she couldn't stop humming happy tunes to herself and reflecting on her joy.

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. When she finally went back downstairs the kitchen had been set to right again and her mother and gramps gone to bed for some much deserved rest. She heard talking outside and opened the door.

Light was just beginning to turn the sky from night to day, though the sun was still unseen when she saw her little brother and the demon lord at the other side of the large courtyard.

Kagome couldn't hear what they were talking about but that was alright. She was just happy to see that Sota finally got to spend some time with Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru stood with a noble patience as Sota described something with vigor. He was holding his arms out to show that whatever it was had tremendous size.

The dog lord had on a white t-shirt and a pair of gray slacks. His hair hung undone and the makeup had been cleaned from his face. He was indeed something to marvel at even in those modern clothes.

Sota noticed her and pointed.

She smiled reflexively when she saw the flash of gold as his eyes shifted to look her way.

They began to walk toward her and Kagome began to move toward them.

"Hey, Kagome,"

"Hello, Sota."

"Miko," she heard Sesshoumaru say in his low and velvety voice.

Oh no, why did it make her feel so soft inside, like her heart was melting?

"Yes?"

"I am afraid I must return to the past as soon as possible. I need to retrieve Rin."

He was "afraid" that he had to go? Did that mean that he didn't want to? He didn't have to. Oh, she could have slapped herself for thinking something as silly as that. But… she still thought it anyway.

"Please don't go," Sota said the words she could not.

"I must,"

"Sota, can you leave us to talk?"

"Sure, I'm sleepy anyway. See you later." He smiled up at the dog lord before running inside.

"We can go this morning if you want. I just need to repack my bag and change."

"Hm,"

…

They were almost there after walking all night. Inuyasha could see a clearing up ahead but couldn't smell anything but mud and wet tree bark thanks to the rain.

As he walked toward it he looked down at the little girl he held. She'd fallen to sleep and resting against his chest sat her little hand. In it she held one of the long locks of hair that hung at the side of his head. Inuyasha wondered for a moment if it reminded her of Sesshoumaru; if she would bother doing the same thing were his hair black. Then he puzzled at what might possess his human hating brother to drag around a little human girl at all.

There was a rustle from the right that pulled Inuyasha from his thoughts. His gold eyes shifted to find the source but didn't see anything. He sniffed at the air.

Mud.

But he was certain there was something there.

"Come out and show yourself, coward!" he called.

The child in his arms stirred and opened her eyes. She looked up at him and then out into the woods.

"Look!" she whispered loudly to him, pointing.

Monks dressed in blue began to emerge from the undergrowth. There were a lot of them and they all had their eyes on him.

Inuyasha set Rin down on her feet and pulled his sleeve back on. They didn't look happy to see them. If anything Inuyasha would have called the look in their eyes "bloodthirsty". His hand went to the hilt of his sword.

Their leader spoke first.

"Demon! What are you doing with that child? Filthy beast!"

"None of your business! But you don't have to worry," he added smugly, "she's safe with me."

"Liar! No child is safe with a demon!"

"For your information, I'm half demon. What's to say the kid's not mine?"

"Filth like you shouldn't have children and then the child should die for having demon blood!"

"You're the filth!" Inuyasha roared.

Rin didn't know much about Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru and Jaken rarely, if ever, spoke of him. She only knew that Sesshoumaru disliked his half demon half brother. At this moment though, she liked him an awful lot. He and her lord were quite different but in some ways very much the same.

She hid behind him as he drew his sword which nearly hummed with energy.

There was a sudden pain that ran up his leg. He looked down in surprise at half a blade which protruded from his calf. Thick blood quickly began to soak through his clothes. And he felt almost instantly weakened. As he looked down some of his hair fell over his shoulder… black.

It was as black as night.

Inuyasha was essentially human.

But he only became human during the new moon. It was still an overcast day and the new moon wasn't due for another week. Then another pulse of searing pain form the blade and Inuyasha understood. There was something about it that was suppressing, maybe even destroying his demon side.

His sword suddenly felt very heavy and then transformed back into the rusty old tool it became when not in use. He reached down to yank the blade from his leg but when his fingers made contact with the metal they burned and he pulled them away.

"Don't think for a moment that we'll take mercy upon you now that you look like one of us!" he heard one of them yell.

It was then that Inuyasha knew he couldn't stay and fight. Any other time and he would have. Any other time and he would've been hungering for it. But not with the little girl hiding behind his leg. If he were to die… well, he couldn't let her see that. And he had no idea what would become of her if he did. His comment earlier… about what if she were his daughter… it had been a stupid thing to say. What if they thought that she might actually be? Would they really kill her too?

He scooped her up and ran, ran best he could on his bleeding leg and with his heart pounding in his ears. Down into the clearing and out of the woods. He could run to the well. If he jumped in he might be able to pass through to Kagome's time. He was already headed in the direction of Kaede's village and would come across the well just before that. Would it work if he was human? And if it did… would it leave Rin behind.

No, he couldn't do that.

He'd keep running to Kaede's village. The villagers knew him there. They'd help him fight these monks off.

…

Kagome stood at the edge of the well. The goodbyes had been said. Her family had told him that they hoped he'd come back to visit again. Sesshoumaru had nodded. He'd changed back into his normal clothes. Kagome had repacked her bag and strung her bow.

It really was time to go back.

"Alright, hold on. I'm not sure this is going to work."

With that they jumped into the well.

But…

They hit the bottom.

Sesshoumaru landed on his feet with his usual grace.

Kagome landed awkwardly and stumbled into him.

"I'm sorry!" she said quickly, "The well… it won't accept you with me. I think it knows."

"Knows?"

"Your brother can pass through and I think that because you were weakened before it allowed you through as if you were him. Maybe it thought you were your brother." She was surprised that he didn't look upset at the mention of Inuyasha.

"Am I not able to return to the past?" he asked.

She looked down at the floor of the well in thought.

"I think I have an idea." Kagome told him when she looked back up into his eyes. They'd once unsettled her but now they were a welcome and comfortable sight. "If I were to… it's horrible." She stopped.

"Miko, finish."

"If I were to hurt you… stab you with a sacred arrow. The arrowhead would have the same effect as the monk's blades. Perhaps it would weaken you enough to allow you back through the well. Then when we reach the other side I can pull it out again… It's the old kind of arrowhead without barbs. It should come out easy enough… if it holds tight to the arrow itself." She offered.

"If we must." Sesshoumaru said.

"Ah I… but…"

"I must return." He insisted.

"I know but," she paused, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You need not."

"What?"

Sesshoumaru reached behind her and pulled an arrow from the quiver on her back.

"Wait!"

His arm slid around her back and pulled her close. Her head was forced to rest on his chest and she could hear his driving heartbeat, strong and unyielding. She turned her round face upward to look at him, expecting him to say something.

But he didn't saying anything. Instead his lips were pressed to hers.

Her heart nearly stopped. She was startled and stunned, unable to keep from shaking. Her knees went weak.

He tasted sweet.

She hadn't expected that.

Heck, she hadn't expected this!

And it ended too soon.

He pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

It had been her first… her first kiss!

"Kagome, I must thank you for all that you and your family have done for me.," he said keeping her close, his arm wrapped all the way around her small back, "and I wish to cause you no further unhappiness."

With that she felt his arm jerk quickly and heard something tear. Sesshoumaru pitched forward just a little but caught himself.

Kagome looked down to one side. He'd stabbed himself with the arrow!

She looked wide eyed back up at him. His eyes were closed as a wave of weakness washed over his senses.

"Se…Sesshoumaru!"

The world began to glow as the walls of the well faded away into brightness. Kagome closed her eyes and hugged the dog lord tight.

…

The other side was cold. Rain fell down onto them where they crouched at the bottom of the well.

Kagome noticed that Sesshoumaru's weight was heavy upon her. She pushed him back to look at his face. He was unconscious and barely breathing. Her hand searched his side franticly until she found the arrow there and with one swift motion pulled it from his flesh.

Her hand came away clutching the arrow and covered in his warm blood.

Sesshoumaru gasped. His eyes opened slightly as he fought them to focus.

"It worked!" Kagome chirped with a wide and honest smile. She hugged him again. "You're alright!"

"Leave us alone!" they heard someone cry from outside.

The dog demon's eyes turned instantly upward. He stood and took her by the arm. His strength was hurrying back to him. Sesshoumaru turned his face up slightly and sniffed the air just a bit.

"Rin," he said.

"Wha…"

"Hold tightly," he told her.

With that he leapt upward and out of the darkness. He dragged them both high into the air before they fell back down and Sesshoumaru alighted gracefully atop the lip of the well, Kagome seated in the crook of his arm.

…

"Leave us alone!" Inuyasha cried out. Rin guarded protectively against him in his arms, his untransformed sword held almost uselessly in one hand. He'd turned just enough to keep her out of harm's way and looked back at the monks from over his shoulder.

There was a sudden rush of movement and a blur of white near the well. Inuyasha saw some of the monks stagger in surprise.

"Inuyasha!" he heard his name called and risked turning to see.

"Kagome!" he said when he saw her there… sitting in the crook of Sesshoumaru's arm, "What the hell!" he yelled.

"Not now!" she cried out angrily.

"Look who's alive!" one of the Blue Monks called to his comrades.

Kagome hopped from the dog lord's grasp and ran to Inuyasha's side or more specifically his leg. He looked puzzled as she took hold of the blade and yanked it out. Almost instantly his hair turned white again and his strength retuned to him. Kagome took Rin from his arms and ran back toward the well.

"Rin." Sesshoumaru said her name.

The little girl lifted her head from Kagome's shoulder.

"Lord Sesshoumaru!" she squealed with delight and watched with pride as he drew his sword and stepped fluidly from the well.

"Sesshoumaru, please… don't kill them unless you absolutely have to." Kagome requested.

He nodded.

"The coward who vanished into the well has returned!" the monk added.

Sesshoumaru walked to stand with Inuyasha and gave him a side long glance.

"Look at you two!" one of them called, "Are you brothers? Is one just as weak as the other?"

"You're about to find out!" Inuyasha yelled with a grin.

"Monks!" Sesshoumau addressed before Inuyasha could go running in, "Fall back and leave us be. We don't wish to kill anyone today."

"We don't?" Inuyasha asked with a quizzical expression on his face.

"Haha! We've worked all of our lives to become what we are and find pride in our talent at the task of exterminating mindless garbage like you. Now stand there and watch as we do our job!"

"You do not seek to be sure that we are a threat before slaying us?" the dog demon asked.

"All demons should be slain. Threat or no!"

"It is decided." Sesshoumaru held his sword out. "Inuyasha, are you prepared?"

"Always!" The half demon grinned. "You know, they were going to kill Rin after me." he just happened to mention.

"Were they." Sesshoumaru said it as if it were a statement and not a question; a diplomatic declaration of war.

"They were." Inuyasha nodded heavily.

The brothers rushed forward in unison, shimmering swords bearing down upon the Blue Monks. In a matter of moments, in blood and screams, the demon slayers were cut down. The wise ones fled in fear before the blades of the demon brothers could find them. But the monks with foolish bravado ended their lives that rainy day on the edge of their fathers fang and at the tips his son's poisoned claws.

When the final body fell, Inuyasha stood chuckling.

"That'll teach them to mess with us!" he said, then turned to look at his brother. His eyes narrowed. "Hey, what were you doing with Kagome at the well?" he suddenly remembered.

"…Your hair was black." Sesshoumaru ignored Inuyasha's question with his own observation.

"Never mind that!" Inuyasha said quickly.

"Sesshoumaru," he turned toward Kagome's voice and saw her standing beside him. Rin gazed up at him from Kagome's arms, wide eyes welling with tears.

"Why…" her little voice wavered, "did you leave me there?"

"I did not intend to." He said solemnly as he sheathed his sword.

"You didn't?"

"No. I would do no such thing." He insisted.

"Can we go and find Jaken? Can we all be together again?" she asked.

"Hm,"

Rin reached forward and Kagome held her up to him. She wrapped her little arms around his neck and buried her face in his moko moko, safe and warm and finally at home.

"Kagome! Someone's gonna tell me why he was in the well with you, right?" Inuyasha growled.

"Later," she hissed.

"Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru spoke.

"What!" the half demon spat out as he crossed his arms.

Sesshoumaru looked from his half brother down to the child nestled against his chest and then back to his brother again before nodding deeply. He then turned smoothly and began to walk away.

Inuyasha stood slack jawed.

Was that a sort of thank you? Had his brother thanked him for looking after her? Sesshoumaru? It seemed like it.

"It was," Kagome told him as if she'd read his mind.

"No, he doesn't thank anyone."

"He thanked me."

"For what?" Inuyasha asked.

"I saved his life earlier."

"What? How!"

"Come on, I'll tell you all about it on the way to the village." She told him.

Of course, she wouldn't tell him all about it. Not everything. Some things she felt like keeping for herself and Sesshoumaru alone. Some things she'd revisit in the privacy of her mind… though, in her innermost heart she wondered… even wished… just a little, to revisit those things for real. Until then she had the outline of the blade he'd scratched on the floor of her mother's house to remember him by, the little shell on her nightstand… and the warm feeling on her soft lips.

She turned and looked back at Lord Sesshoumaru's distant, white figure and smiled just a little.

Yes, there were some things she'd keep for herself.