He used to text her in the most inopportune moments. When she was in court, or preparing a witness, or busy in a meeting, just few words, but clearly aimed to rouse her and to make sure that she knew he wanted her.
He used to write "lunch" and she felt shivers of anticipation running down her spine and her legs unconsciously crossing, her tights brushing against each other.
He used to write "I want you" and she would need a moment to pull herself together, feeling her cheeks blushing and the temperature suddenly increasing.
It was a dangerous game sometimes, knowing the forced limits of their secret relationship, but at the same time, it was what made it so damn exciting and worth the risks.
Despite agreeing upon keeping the relationship strictly outside the firm, they just couldn't stop themselves from teasing, leading on each other in every possible way.
If Will was more discreet, if hot messages could be defined as so, Alicia loved to openly provoke him with small gestures. A slight touch of the fingers, a slightly shorter skirt or, when she really was in risky mood, that red dress and she waited not so patiently for him to react.
Saying goodbye to all the good intentions of confining their affair to late nights or week-ends, they ended up carving out little precious moments during the day. The bathroom in Will's office turned out to be very useful for those kind of urges. The same for a few offices on the first floor, which fell unused when some of the employees moved to the new floor.
It was becoming an addiction. The more time they spent together, the more they wanted and needed each other.
Used to Will's coded messages, she decided for once to be the one surprising him in a very inopportune moment.
Walking by the conference room, she saw him with Diane, deep into a negotiation with a major customer and his lawyer. With a sly smile, she texted him a simple "I'm hungry," and stood there, not wanting to miss his reaction.
They had been discussing with that stupid and stubborn lawyer for more than one hour. Still, the negotiation attempt seemed to be leading nowhere. Will started to wonder if they would ever find an agreement or if they would be stuck in that room for the rest of their lives.
He let out a resigned sigh, then took a bored look at his cell phone upon seeing it vibrating on the table. The name on the screen was enough for him to recover from that draining meeting.
"I'm hungry."
Straightening up in his chair, he swallowed and looked around him with his best poker face. He caught sight of Alicia standing outside the room. With a raised eyebrow and a knowing, provocative smile, she turned on her feet and walked away, leaving him suddenly eager and excited. He started to pray for that fucking meeting to end as soon as possible. Returning the attention to the men in front of him, he caught one of Diane's worst, disappointed and annoyed looks ever, which he smartly chose to ignore.
He spent the rest of the meeting counting down the minutes, wanting to give a proper answer to that message, but unable to do it under Diane's disapproving look.
Twenty minutes later and an agreement finally reached, he was stopped halfway through the door by Diane.
"You are playing with fire, Will." Her tone was serious, firm, as she stared daggers at him like a mother would do with her son, which made it even more annoying.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He knew very well what she was talking about, they both knew it, but as long as it wasn't affecting the firm, their careers and their public image, Will couldn't care less of what she thought about his private life.
Sitting in her office, preparing the final argument for next day's court session, Alicia had almost completely forgotten her previous message to Will, till her cell phone bleeped and she saw his name on the screen. She was expecting something like a place, or an hour. But what she read made it even more exciting and frustrating at the same time.
"Me too."
She felt herself blushing, her whole body pulsing in anticipation, knowing they would eventually meet but not knowing neither where or when. Will was damn good at playing with her senses, bringing her urge and anticipation at such level, that it was sometimes really hard not to just rush into his office and have him take her right there on his desk. He certainly earned his reputation with women for good reasons, which made her feel both lucky and annoyed at the same time.
Of course she was enjoying the benefits of his wide… how to call it? Experience.
But thinking about Will doing to other women the same things he did to her, was sometimes disturbing. Although their relationship was supposed to be just an affair with no personal involvements, she felt a sort of unwarranted possessiveness, an undertone of jealousy, that made her ache. It took away some of the sense of liberty and risk, of the audacious taste arising from the forbidden, and the excitement of the secrecy. She kept on trying to ignore that feeling, trying to concentrate only on the pleasure they felt when they were together, trying to savor their little moments, enjoying them exactly for what they were.
She knew very well that they weren't allowed to ask anything more from their relationship. She was still married, although separated and being her separated husband the State's Attorney put the firm in a perilous and very delicate position. The audit was the proof.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a slight knock at the door. She looked up to see Will standing, a serious look on his face.
"Hey," she said with a hinted smile, discreetly checking towards Eli's office to make sure he wasn't busy in his favorite activity, checking in on her.
"Hey," he said with false coldness and professionalism. "Just wanted to let you know that at 2 o'clock I have a meeting at a place on Madison Street. It should take one hour or so, in case you need something." His straight face always drove her crazy.
She slightly smiled, before giving one more look around. "I'll make sure you won't be disturbed then," she replied with a knowing look.
She looked down, as Will gave her a soft smile and left her office. She smiled to herself. Now she had both a place and an hour. She made sure that she didn't have any appointment or meeting for that time.
Will was pacing anxiously back and forth across the room, waiting for Alicia to arrive. Two light knocks at the door. He knew it was her and rushed to open and let her in.
"Hey," she said with a soft smile.
"Hey yourself," he replied before starting to place soft kisses, on her mouth, her cheeks, down her neck. He whispered between kisses. "You are such a little teaser, you know that?"
"You looked so bored at that meeting…" she whispered provocatively, as she started to unbutton his shirt.
Will tried to suppress a laugh, while quickly finding the zip of her dress and pulling it down. They had only one hour and they had no intentions of wasting it in idle chatter.
Her dress gone, he gently laid her down on the bed. He lost himself for a moment, watching as she unstrapped his belt and unzipped his pants. She was beautiful. She was beautiful when she worked, when she talked, when she simply walked down the corridors at the firm. She was even more beautiful when they found themselves alone in the office and took a moment to flirt, exchange longing looks and sweet smiles, but in these moments she was spectacular. Far more than beautiful. A dreamy gaze, eyes filled with lust and passion, the cheeks reddened by the heat, all of these made her breathtaking.
"Is everything ok?" Alicia interrupted his thoughts, a concerned look on her face.
He gave her a soft, sweet smile. "Yes," he reassured her. "I just want you, now."
Quickly getting free of pants and briefs, he started to caress slowly and gently every inch of her body, his fingers followed by his mouth placing soft kisses on her sensitive skin, from her mouth to her neck, down on her breasts, her belly, breathing into the sweet smell of her skin. He heard her moan, slightly tensing as he made his way down to her inner tights.
Slightly raising himself up to meet her half-closed eyes, he slid one finger inside her to make sure she was ready for him. Not that it was needed, the soaked thin fabric of her panties was enough of a proof, but he loved to hear her moan, it turned him on even more. If that was even possible.
He slid up so he could face her, his eyes fixed on hers as he entered her with a slow, deep thrust.
Alicia was lying, curled up on Will's chest, still tired after their passionate love making. Her head resting on his shoulder, she tried to just relax, trying for a moment to recover, but her mind was restless. Conflicted thoughts and feelings collided with each other, making her tense and totally unable to rest.
She looked up at Will. His eyes were closed, he was caressing her hair with a slight smile of satisfaction on his lips.
What were they doing? What was that? Just sex? She wasn't sure about that anymore. That's what they agreed, what they told each other only few months ago, but the feeling… she didn't know what she felt anymore. These moments of quiet, just lying in each other's arms, their hands still busy in soft, pleasant cuddling caresses, were becoming less quiet at every turn. Knowing they would go back to their normal lives in minutes, not knowing when they'd be able to share another moment together, always left her with a bitter, painful feeling.
She wondered if it was just her, or if Will felt the same about them.
"Will?" she asked tentatively, not even sure that he was awake.
She felt him slightly moving and looked up to meet his gaze.
"Yes?" His voice was soft, that slight smile still on his lips. The way he looked at her, she was not sure if she was ready to ruin that moment. What if it was just her? What if these feelings were totally unknown to Will? Was he fine with what they had? Was she ready to lose everything, should they want different things from their relationship? The fact was, she didn't know what she wanted from that relationship. The only thing she was sure of was that she didn't want to lose it… whatever that "it" was.
"What are we doing?" she asked softly, her voice giving away a slight worry and anxiety.
She saw a mix of confusion and worry building up on his face.
"What do you mean?" She was pretty sure he knew what she meant, but was probably too scared to bring it up.
"This is not what we agreed, Will… isn't it?" she looked down, upon feeling the warm touch of his hand slightly moving to cover her own, entwining their fingers on his chest. No. It was nowhere near to what they agreed. She unconsciously tightened her fingers with his.
"Do you think it's time to stop it?" His question chilled her.
Stop it.
Stopping it before it got too complicated sounded like the most reasonable and sensible decision. Stopping it before they both got too deep into it would be the best to avoid a painful break-up when things started to get really difficult.
But was the most sensible choice the best one too? Was ending their affair now what they wanted? She tried to picture her days without him, without their little moments, without that pleasant feeling of his warm body holding her in his arms.
It was already too late. Things were not going to become complicated in an indefinite time. They already were.
"I don't want to lose you." Her words slipped unfiltered from her mouth, before she actually had the time to think about a reply.
She was expecting some kind of reaction from Will, but he stood quiet, not moving, one hand still caressing her hair. He seemed so calm, peaceful, as if they were discussing over the weather and not over their relationship, while she was a bundle of nerves, sensing the end of this… thing – whatever it was that they had – getting close at hand.
"I don't want to lose you, too." His voice seemed quiet but gave away a slight pain, or worry.
She looked up, meeting his gaze. "It can't go on forever… not like this." They had been putting off this conversation until then. They could probably take some more time, keep on enjoying each other's company and pretend they were both fine with what they had, but the more they waited, the more they fell for each other, giving no chance for a easy and painless way out.
"It's not going to be easy." She couldn't stop thinking about all the complications, all the obstacles still in their way and she wondered if he was ready and willing to face the inevitable risks that came with them, being together.
"Who said it would be?" Will said, his voice so calm, barely a whisper. She wasn't expecting this kind of reply.
Who said it would be easy? Was any relationship in the first place 'easy,' by definition? Probably not. They just had to deal with few more difficulties than any other couple would do, but the fact that they were both willing to face them was for sure a good and positive start.
She didn't say anything. She just gave him a soft and loving smile, placed a soft kiss on his chest, relaxing and finally falling in a light and peaceful sleep.