One day at Bella's house, she, Vaati, Midna, Zant, Blitz, Ari, and Happy Cow were sitting back and enjoying some Dr. Phil, when Blitz was eating some corn chips.
Blitz: Yeah! I love Fritos! *Crunch*
Bella: Can I have some?
Blitz: Heck no! You stole my man!
Bella: Me liking Vaati has nothing to do with you not sharing your Fritos.
Vaati: Yeah, I can't help if I like her more than you.
Blitz: But you're my husband!
Vaati: But Bella doesn't put me in danger and puke in my hat every time she watches Fear Factor.
Blitz: They were sucking leeches off each other! That show is disgusting!
Vaati: Than why the hell do you watch it?!
Blitz: *Uses her flame abilities to set Vaati on fire*
Vaati: Araggghh!*Casts a wind spell and makes Blitz's skirt fly up*
Blitz: Kyaaaa! *Holds her skirt down* Why you perverted little weasel!
Ari: *Steals Blitz's Fritos and hands them to Bella* Shut the hell up, Dr. Phil's about to interview the fat kid about his obsession with Hatsune Miku.
Blitz: Red headed jerk.
Vaati: Demon idiot.
Ari: *Hisses with his forked tongue* I want to hear that fat kid talk to Dr. Phil about his obsession with Hatsune Miku, so be quiet or I'll turn you both into a pair of leather boots.
Blitz: Eeep!
Vaati: I don't want to be leather!
Ari: Good.
Zant: That bald lady is so smart. She knows how to talk to walruses.
Midna: That's a man and that's an overweight 4 year-old, not a lady and a walrus.
Zant: Than why is he so fat.
Midna: Cuz he eats 47 Twinkies a day, that's why, you moron!
Zant: Oh. Pineapples.
Ari: Shut up I'm trying to watch freakin Dr. Phil!
Bella: Is there a toenail in this chip bag?
Ari: *Looks in chip bag* Nope, just a cavity filling.
Bella: EWWW! Why the heck is there a freakin' cavity filling in my Fritos, Blitz!?
Blitz: What!? I've never had cavity in my life! Vaati's the one who the chip bag before me!
Vaati: What the hell!? I don't have the money to visit the dentist! I've never had a filling!
Blitz: Ewww! Why the heck did I kiss you?!
Vaati: Shut up! You're such a whiney little brat!
Blitz: *Attacks Vaati with a couch pillow* You take that back!
Vaati: GAAAHHH! My intestines!
Midna: *Uses the fused shadows to transform and stops Blitz for ripping out Vaati's vital organs* You two stop acting like that fat kid who's obsessed with Hatsune Miku!
Vaati: Besides, you had the chip bag before me, Midna.
Midna: Go screw yourself.
Bella: Then who infected the chips with that filling?
Everyone: *Looks at Happy Cow*
Happy Cow: Play with meeeeee!
Midna: Of course.
Blitz: Told you so.
Vaati: Whiner.
Blitz:*Attacks Vaati with couch pillow again*
Bella: Why did I not know it was him?
Zant: I like raspberry cake.
Bella: It was Happy Cow from the start. He was inside the Fritos bag the before we all ate from it and lost a filling in there.
Happy Cow: Play with me Bella, play.
Zant: These chocolate Fritos are awesome.
Midna: Um Zant, there's no such thing as chocolate Fritos.
Blitz: Wait, you said that Happy Cow was in the chip bag and we all ate out of it, and there's chocolate in it?
Bella: Oh, dear god.
Everyone Except Ari & Happy Cow:*Goes pale in the face and pukes on the floor*
Ari: That's why I don't eat junk food. Morons.
Happy Cow: Play with meeeeee!
Ari: *Throws Happy Cow out the window and talks to the kid on TV* Stupid kid. You know Hatsune Miku isn't real. And that you need to go on the "Biggest Loser*.
And the moral of the story is to never share Fritos with anyone. And to check the bag for cow poop before eating from it.