Who's it going to be? Author pov
As the three no giving important twilight characters walk in the middle of the forest. As for me, I was following behind them, with a fold up chair in my right hand and the other a bag of popcorn. Undoing the chair to get a good view of Edward, Bella, and Jacob. I sat down and began to eat my popcorn.
-sub-ice diamond: this better not take to long, I have a soap opera that I need to catch at 10" eats popcorn.
"So who's it going to be Bella, is it me the living Native American boy that loves you so much, and has a hot body" Jacob said,, reflexes his muscles….show off "or him the evil sparkly critic, that calls you meat names, and doesn't say ' I want to suck your blood" points at Edward.
"You guys both know I have feelings for both know I have feelings for both of you, and its hard to choose, of which I want" Bella said looking down at the grown, I started to throw popcorn at them, for no a parent reason.
-sub-ice diamond: oh come on! That's an easy decision to make, besides smeyer isn't here to tell me what to do…. What am I saying?"
"Meatball, you know I would respect the decision that you make"
-sub-ice diamond: yeah and you also respect two parts of her body, hint hint, one is what a vampire wants to drink
"Besides, no matter what's going to happen, I know you're picking me and not scobby doo" he said and points at Jacob, as if on cue he bark.
"No she would be picking me! I mean, look at my body, I'm like a god" Jacob said, as he toke off his shirt, and heard screaming fan girls, mines me.
-sub-ice diamond: dude enough with the body. I swear you act like your all that, with a body and stuff.
"Please boys! Don't make this hard for me, WHAT WOULD SMEYER DO!" Bella said covering her ears as the sparkly critic and shape shifter bicker.
-sub-ice diamond: oh please! Smeyer would want you to pick Edward, the fans are probably having war by now" goes back to fight.
"IF SHE WANTED YOU, I WOULD RAPE HER AND TAKE HER TO MY DONGEN" yells back to Edward.
"IF SHE WANTED YOU, I WOULD DRINK HER BLOOD"
"IF SHE WANTED YOU, I WOULD KICK HER"
-sub-ice diamond… do you two realize your acting like perverts, I mean blood drinking, raping, beating, I mean this is just wrong…note to self, next time call Stevie wilkos or jerry Springer" write on a ipad.(I don't really have one).
-smeyer: it is I! The great smeyer! Has come to save this horrible day!" pops out of nowhere.
-sub-ice diamond: nobody called you. Plus you're not great, you're an idiot.
-smeyer: at least people love my books.
-sub-ice diamond: not all people.
- Smeyer: oh shut up child!
-sub-ice diamond: make me then, lady" disappears out of thin air with smeyer. Then reappears "that should keep her away from me".
"BOYS! I have made my decision" Bella spoke, as the two idiots stopped fighting.
"Finally! Now my steak, tell this mutt, it is me!" Edward spoke, walking towards her loving.
"Oh please, would you tell this leech it is me wench" Jacob proudly said.
"Its, its"
-sub-ice diamond: oh for the love that is all world being. PICK ALREADY!"
"Justin bieber" said quietly, silence filled the air both mythical boys' jaws fell on the floor, but for me I was laughing my butt off! That she choose Justin bieber.
-sub-ice diamond: oh my dam! This...is…priceless...Who would have thought…Justin bieber" tries to calm down but wont.
"THE GAY BOY!" Jacob screams at her in frustration.
"He is not gay!" Bella began to protest.
-sub-ice diamond: this is better then cable!" eats and another bag of popcorn.
"Why would you chose a boy that wears a hair piece" as the emo boy yelled at her in betrayed and frustration.
"HE DOES NOT WEAR A HAIR PIECE" she snapped back "AND I THOUGHT YOU RESPECT MY DESCION"
"I thought it was going to be your choices that smeyer, choose for you"
"WELL TO DAM BAD" as the three kept bickering; the song 'baby' came out of nowhere...
-sub-ice diamond: please tell me, that I didn't think what it means…why my ear is bleeding?" Putting on some headphones "nothing like the sound of pitbull songs make it better"
The three have stopped bickering at each other Justin bieber came to Bella's side, with his pale hand….wait pale hand?
-sub-ice diamond: why is this boy pale and has topaz eyes, and why does he looks more good.
"Because I'm a vampire" he said, as if on cue, you can hear girls screaming as if an earthquake started.
"How the Debbie you became one of my kind" Edward look at him questionably
"Well, when I was doing my tour, I went to visit Italy I decided to go see this, weird ancient castle, and when I got in I met this weird little girl and she just bit m" he explain, seeing Bella started to drool, at the boy like he was a good…wow ironic.
-sub-ice diamond: little creepy Italian girl? Wow, I never thought she was your fan" texts somebody.
"Wait, Jane did this to you" the evil sparkly vampire said.
"Yeah besides, Bella is going to become my vampire bride" he said lifting her hair out of the way.
"NO FREAKING WAY!" Jacob yelled in horror, cue thunder! Weird.
-sub-ice diamond: what the Debbie, is going on in this world, and pretty much it's about to rain" looks up at the sky. As Justin bieber finally bit Bella, as for the two mythical creatures fainted, is it possible? Bella began to scream in joy/pain and also in glee, wow must be a believer, a few hours later Bella woke up straight and started to stare at me creepy like, as for me I wasn't pay attention the fact, I was about to die from Mary-sue over there.
"Blood, me want blood" she said as her bloody red eyes kept its focus on me.
-sub-ice diamond: why are you looking at me like that" turns to see Bella getting in a hunting position as she began to jump me.
For me I saw this opportunity and to see Bella to kill me, I jumped out of my seat and grabbed her head, with both of my hands and freeze her whole entire body and kneed her as, the frozen body shattered into million of prices on the grown.
FATALITY!
-sub-ice diamond: where the netherealm does that voice come from.
"MY ROAST URKEY"
"MY SLAVE"
"MY VAMPIRE BRIDE"
As they scream in horror, they looked at me as the love Mary-sue was no more; I looked back at them, as I smile at them for no parent reason.
"Look at what you have done" Edward said, I rolled my eyes at them.
"Now you must pay" Jacob said as the three were about to fight, out of nowhere a lycain (whatever the names is I'm getting confuse, so just bare with me) came3 out of nowhere and began to attack Edward, ripping him into sparkly pieces.
-sub-ice diamond: I give you a 10" holds up a sign, written in black sharpie. "Now for our next performer to take Jacob down, I give you" drum rolls began, in a background, flashing lights came, weird were outside and this happens. "SONJA" a very pale vampire came she bow, and looked at me for her cue, I nodded, she smile evilly at Jacob as he turn into a wolf. She pounced on him, biting him, doing the 619, choke slam, tombstone and finally the spear. Leaving a lifeless Jacob "thank you Sonja, Lucian, you may go if you wish".
"Thank you for letting us teach, these fakes that there is a real, werewolves and vampire" lucain said walking towards me, Sonja also did, she wrapped her arms around him and lean on him. Awww!
"Yes it was, very quiet entertaining, the best fun I had in my life, since the night…."
-sub-ice diamond "MENTAL IMAGES!"
"So what about the gay one" Lucian said
"I AM NOT GAY" he protested "and besides I can take down the three of you"
-Sub- ice diamond: don't worry, I have a friend coming here in 3, 2….1" looks at watch, counting down.
"GET OVER HERE!" Noob shoots out a spear on a rope at Justin, dragging him over to Justin, allowing a free hit. It was quiet for a few seconds, but was heard a girlish scream. "Your friend has arrived" Lucian said, I nodded happily to him. We heard ripping and burning, as a figure began to appear, getting closer and closer as I saw his black ninja uniform, with his mask covering his face with a sword behind his back, he stopped and bowed, but was glomp by me! Hugging him with joy.
-sub-ice diamond: nom nom noob sailboat! I love you, thank you for killing bieber"
"Your welcome sub-ice diamond, it was a very interesting fight, if you like I can take him to the outer world, and give him to mileena" he said getting off of me.
-sub-ice diamond: sure, sure sure, whatever you say, as long as I get to have your little ninjas"
"Well we are going back to our underworld, thank you again sub-ice diamond" Sonja thanked me, Lucian nodded. I shocked both there hands, watching them leave.
"So are you ready to go to my place, to make little ninjas" noob asked, I nodded him, and toke his hand, as we both teleported to his world.
a/n: i would love to make that secne..but i just had metal imgaes in my head now. so NO LEMON OR RAPEING!
sub-ice diamond: no fair!
a/n:hey at least your having a good time with you boyfriend.
sub-ice diamond: true that! im going to be big in the other story!
a/n: yup! anyway sorry if i torure justin and also killed edward and jacob, and bella to. but hey i was in a bad mood so i had to let my anger out on something.
*twilight angry mob comes out of nowhere*
sub-ice diamond:WHAT THE HELL! shit im out bye!
a/n:yeah me too sorry! *runs to the outer world* oh and also read my other stories if you want!