It was spiteful really - what he was doing to her - but she couldn't say "No" to him, and now she was stuck in this Mexican Standoff; and everyone involved had a loaded gun.
She didn't know how it had started, but it was almost as though they had never stopped. The smell of him – cigarettes, marijuana and something that was uniquely Steven J. Hyde – drove her crazy and made her forgo all better judgement that she thought that she had. He was almost like a drug, as potent as the stuff that he got from some shady guy standing on a shady corner in a shady neighbourhood – one she would never venture into herself. Yet, he seemed to suck her in, even if his "neighbourhood" was his tiny, room in the back of the basement; and the shady corner was the shabby cot where she and he had shared many a night. And now her mind went to those times, the feeling of his breath, hot and haggard on her neck; the whispers in her hair; his hands…
Her mind then drifted to the one she was with – Fez. He was thoughtful, kind, a great dancer and he worshipped her. She'd made the list, and he'd ticked all the boxes. Then why was she so dissatisfied? Ok, fine, admittedly the sex wasn't great – in all honesty, it was like being humped by a small dog, but she'd lie back and think of Steven and it'd all be fine. She'd cried after, once. Silently into her pillow; Fez's 'Ocean Sounds' 8-track masking the sniffles, and closed eyelids collecting the tears.
He was "too nice" wasn't he?
Not like Steven. She recalled a time in the basement, knowing everyone was in the next room, where he'd whispered into her ear words that made the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, and the apex of her thighs began to tingle. She remembered the way he'd slid a hand over her body, gently teasing and heating her skin with smooth caresses. He'd whispered to her, almost breathed it as she'd snaked a hand between their bodies to stroke the naked one that was pressed behind her. He'd told her to "be quiet", "Be quiet," he had purred into her hair, "while I fuck you."
They had not been together then - Sam was just back in Vegas for a gig.
Sam. The one that she hoped Steven wasn't thinking about when they were together. The very idea of that broke her. But she had become wiser, and she chuckled to think how "bad ass" she could be when she was with him. Or at least she liked to think she had the right effect. She delighted when he panted her name into her ear when she touched him. She knew just what he wanted during moments like these, and she teased him to breaking point; praying that she was the only person on his mind.
She didn't want to hurt Fez and she knew that if she left him there was the chance that Steven would leave her. She didn't want to run the risk of telling Steven what she felt, he had Sam now, and she was sure he would deny her all if she told him what she was thinking and then she'd be left unhappy and with Fez who, for all he tried, was just not what she wanted…
They were caught in a Mexican Standoff, and with the slightest movement someone was going to die; and Jackie was sure that she'd be unhappy whichever way it went.
FIN