Hello People this is The Warrior of The Healing Flame with an unbelievable update on why I am currently haven't been updating my stories in a long time well here it goes.
I went to my house one day and entered my room but when I got there I saw Lucario, Pit and Marth on my bed all ready to kill me.
"Why the hell haven't you written a single fan fiction about me." said Lucario ready to kill me.
"Ahem." coughed Pit and Marth.
"I'm sorry, us." Corrected Lucario.
"Okay Firstly Lucario and Pit you two are going to arrive in Omega Smash soon." I argued.
"What about me?" asked Marth.
"I did not play Fire Emblem okay, I'm waiting for the 3DS release of you so I can use the new you and check for any personality changes okay!" I replied, "Now would somebody tell me how in gods name how all of you got here in the real world?"
"We hacked into your Wii with a formula of a Portal Gun, Ike and Chicken." replied Marth.
" I have three points on how that's impossible. First point even though I haven't played Portal at all but I'm pretty sure that a portal gun doesn't work like that. Second point bribing a person doesn't count for a part of a formula. Third point even if you made those two points somehow plausible why oh for gods sake why am I talking like Sebastian from Yugioh GX abridged?" I pointed out.
"Uhhh….. Uhhhh HeHe." said Marth who was sounding like Alexis from Yugioh GX Abriged for some reason.
Then suddenly I took advantage of Marth's dumb moment to escape from my own room trough the door but not before Lucario sensed my escape.
"He's getting away!" shouted Lucario, "After him!"
Meanwhile I ran out to a nearby train station which had a subway like train ready to get to Arizona or somewhere far far away from here just because of the smashers that wanted me dead.
"Okay everyone let's have a contest whoever can guess which person I am thinking of wins a trip on the Plot convince express." shouted a man with long silver hair and green eyes who was holding a golden ticket.
"Chuck Norris!" I shouted.
"Wrong answer." said the man as he pulled out his katana, "Any last words?"
"No Chuck Norris is right behind you!" I warned him.
"Chuck Norris will be mother's-" the man started to say but then Chuck Norris who was standing right behind roundhouse kicked him slicing him in half.
"Here you go kid." said Chuck Norris handing me the ticket.
"Thanks." I said as Chuck Norris rode of into the sunset with his platinum fuel free sports car.
Then I got into the train and took off to wherever the heck I was going.
I jumped into the nearest car of the train and sat down while I didn't have to worry about the smashers chasing me for a very long time.
"Sir you are not allowed any pets on this train." I overheard the ticket guy say.
"Sir I am a Pokemon, not a Pet." said the other guy, "Plus I speak for this man."
I put my head out of the car and turned in the direction of the sound to see a Pikachu speaking to the guy with it's trainer presumably dead judging by the blood leaking from his chest covered by a name tag which read Hi I am Ash Ketum and I currently am planning world domination.
"Okay you're good to go." replied the ticket guy.
Whew that was a close one I thought as I turned around and looked out the window to see Lucario flying with Marth on his back with Pit flying beside them coming closer to my window until they broke it.
"What was that sound?" said the ticket guy as he came running into my car to find the three smashers and me.
"Okay you four are getting out to Arizona." said the ticket master as he quickly tied us up, got a cannon, stuffed us out into it and fired it out into the dessert. When I got my head out of the sand I saw a sign sticking out in the sand that said Welcome to Terrible Game Land where we make terrible games formally known as Arizona until we conquered it.
"Guys look we have to work together to save Arizona from these guys."
"Why?" asked the smashers.
"Because I'll (bleep) you twice in the (bleep) you godforsaken (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) pieces of (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) George W. Bush (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) shove right up your (bleep) (bleep) so you'll (bleep) sideways (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) Katy Perry (bleep) (bleep) if you don't!" I threatened while the others just looked at me with widened eyes and bloody ears but besides that they agreed to join me.
So we walked throughout the dessert to find out who was behind Terrible Game Land and to stop him but to find this person we had to deal with an army of the most disturbing and annoying thing ever which was an army of clones of Seymore from Final Fantasy X wearing nothing but a diaper (very disturbing I might add ._.) with his evil battle theme coming out every time we see one them. After that we had to help a rebellion stop a time wizard who suspiciously looked like the discipline head from Final Fantasy VIII (if you know the name please tell me in the reviews) and destroy EA games not because we had to but because of Ultima IX's ultimate betrayal on some behalf of the Spoony one while the rest was more in the 'because we could' reasoning. To make a long story short on what else we did we taught valve how to count beyond 2, got tons of extra lives , wasted said lives playing World of Warcraft and stopped Princess Peach from getting kidnapped again (by using the power of a first person shooter) before we finally got to the main headquarters of the villain.
"This is it guys the main villain behind terrible game land." I said.
"How do we know this is the base?" questioned Pit before I pointed out a sign that read Guy Behind Terrible Game Land's Evil Lair. Attention grunts I'm on the 999,999,999th floor you can get there fast by using the teleporting elevators located behind the desk which can be accessed by anyone but only four people can fit in it, oh crap what if anyone else who opposes me see this uhhh… I'll say this is a Target (I'll just have the janitor cross that last part out).
"Well I have never seen someone with a lazy Janitor nor this utterly… never mind." said Marth.
As we walked into the doors of the evil lair we saw no guards guarding the elevators nor any traps which told me that whoever was behind this had a case of no smarts or worse, so we got in the elevator.
"Who do think this guy is?" asked Lucario.
"Five bucks says this guy is Giygas." I suggested.
"Five says it's Hades." said Pit.
"Five it's the man who murdered my sister." said Math.
"Guys," said Lucario "It's Shamalan."
Then the elevator stopped at the 999,999,999th floor and the door opened revealing an office building with various ideas of world domination plus a guy who we assumed to be the leader of these people asleep in his chair.
"Okay who the hell are you?" I demanded.
"You're not my grunts are you?" replied the person who sounded like a little girl to which we nodded. Then she turned in her chair revealing her to be that nameless girl in the red dress from Tales of Xilla.
"I know you , you're uhhhh….." I announced.
"I think it's Sakura." said Pit.
"No it's Fancine." argued Marth.
"You're both wrong it's Lucy." said Lucario.
"Look just shut up!" boomed The Girl in The Red Dress from Tales of Xilla, "This is exactally the reason I want to make terrible games so that way I can seek revenge on the guys for not giving me a name like I'm some minor character well I'M THE FIRST GODDAMN BOSS!"
"Okay then," I said "Guys it's time to beat the living daylights out of this guy."
"Right it's Plagerised morphing time!" said Pit.
"Yuri Lowell!" said Lucario.
"Asabel." said Pit.
"Leleouch." said Marth.
"Grimmjow." I said.
"What is this supposed to accomplish?" questioned The Girl in the red dress.
"This!" said Pit as he pulled out a 3DS which summoned his mech from Kid Icarus Uprising and blasted the girl in the red dress to pieces and somehow returning everything to normal.
"Hey Pit where did you get that 3DS from?" I asked when suddenly I found them gone and a note on the 3DS that read
Sorry we had to ditch you but Pit here stole that 3DS from someone's house and we all agreed to return to the game and pin the crime on you also expect an army of Exo Tanks to surround you.
- Pit, Marth and Lucario.
P.S It belongs to a Fanfic Authoress.
"AWWWWWW come on!" I yelled at the sky when said army surrounded me.
To make a Long story short I returned the item to the commander of the army who later had me trapped in a military prison but I got out of there with the help of cake and am currently on the run from the army .
Author's Note This Update is completely False The real reason for my lack of updating my stories is because I'm lazy as all hell.