Author: Rene

Title: French kisses

Theme:16. Crème de la crème ; On top

Pairing: Seras Victoria x Pip Bernadette and implied Alucard x Seras

Fandom: Hellsing

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Her Master forget her on her birthday, driven by blood-lust and Seras find she can relate to her hot french waiter over more then just her love of cake.

Warnings: A swear word or two.

Notes: Set in the non-Ova time. It's sort of AU since Pip doesn't appear in the Non-OVA but in this he is a Mercenary-gone-waiter. Random french used in this: Jai I, Chere Dear, Oui Yes.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

They sat across from each other, Seras smiling pleasurably and Alucard staring disinterestedly down onto the black and white tiled floor. Seras seemed to glow radiantly despite the fact that the pair were getting their fair share of odds looks. Going out anywhere with Alucard was bound to draw that sort of attention to yourself.

Seras was content that they were even out in public. Usually Alucard would retire in his coffin until late at night or if Integra's dirty work needed doing, would be off completing the task. Naively Seras chose to believe that, out of the kindness of his own heart, Alucard had vouched to take her out for her birthday.

"Are you ready to order?" Seras prompted brightly and Alucard gave her a dull glance. It was the first words either of them had spoken, Alucard looking anywhere but his apprentice and Seras just nodding and smiling happily. If Alucard had removed his glasses, Seras would have been able to see the vampire roll his eyes.

"All this human food tastes like shit" Alucard stated bluntly, earning him a few spiteful glances from numerous waiters and guests. Seras sunk further into her seat, replying meekly but with merriment "I like the cake here. It's to die for" Seras blushed and Alucard glanced up at her.

"How appropriate. After all, you are dead" Alucard chuckled cruelly and Seras turned a deep shade of red. "Yes, but I can still enjoy cake can't I?"

"Fine, I'll get you your cake" Alucard made no motion to rise and Seras blinked. "Master, you got me a cake?"

"I said I'll get you one, didn't I?" Alucard grumbled. "If you want cake then go ahead and order it you stupid girl. I don't have all day and most of it's been wasted taking you out"

"Master... do you know what today is?" Seras tried to swallow the lump in her throat, fearing her Master's answer. "Saturday" Alucard answered immeadiatly and Seras bowed her head. "A-anything special happening today?"

Alucard smile bordered psychopathic, revealing pointed fangs. "The moon rises full tonight, police girl. What a lovely night"

'Don't cry' Seras willed herself, blinking as she felt the tell-tale tears begin to form. 'Of course he remembers it's your birthday. Maybe he's just having you on' "Master, today's my-"

A scantily dressed raven-haired waitress bumped the table, holding her note-pad in her off-hand and smirking down at Alucard. Seras's master rose, turning and whispering something into the lady's ear, who smirked even more and motioned for Alucard to follow her.

'See!' The voices in Seras's head sung victoriously and she felt herself smile. "He's off to get you your cake now. Just you wait you lucky girl'

"What's wrong Master?" Seras inquired hopefully, eyes wide and Alucard smirked down at his apprentice and wrapped a strong arm around the raven-haired lady's waist. "Just getting a drink"

Seras stared in disgust as Alucard sauntered off with the lady, who wasn't destined to live long at this rate. Her own Master had forgotten about the one day that was her own, her birthday. Instead he had gone off to get a 'Free meal'

Seras hung her head, getting up and ignoring the odd glances she was receiving. She stalked over to the bar, plopping herself down onto one of the stools and staring painfully at her reflection in the shiny concrete counter top.

"I need to get drunk fast," Seras said to no one in particular, looking to down her sorrows in liver-poison. "It's the one day that actually means something to me, my birthday. And look at me, alone in some upper-class restaurant"

"Ah, excuse me Chere" Seras turned uninterestedly to look in the direction the voice was sounding, finding herself staring into the mischievous face of a young waiter, his ginger hair done up into a long braid and an eye-patch covering his right eye. "I couldn't help but overhead your conversation with yourself, zat will not do"

"Oh, I'm fine thanks" Seras tried to smile and the waiter shook his head. "Non, non, non. You are not fine Chere. A beautiful girl like you should be celebrating this joyful occasion. And Jai have ze best ting to cheer you up!"

"No, really, it's fine-" The waiter would have none of it, disappearing for a second then popping back up again, holding out a large slice of chocolate cake. "Viola! One Chocolate cake for you"

"And this will cheer me up?" Seras poked at the cake doubtfully. "Looks rather fattening"

"Non Chere! In moi country- France Chocolate is a... what's ze word... ah, a stimulant! Good for depression"

"I also notice" Seras's eyes narrowed onto the menu "It's one of the most expensive cakes available"

"Oui, because of its rare qualities. I am Pip, your fine waiter for this evening miss..."

"Seras" Seras took one small bite of the cake, savoring the flavor in her mouth. "You don't look much like a waiter to me Pip"

"I get zat alot" Pip chuckled and Seras laughed along side him despite herself. "So what made you decide to become a waiter? Is the pay good?"

"Non, J'adore cake" Pip leant in, taking a small piece of Seras's cake and popping it into his mouth. Seras grinned, punching Pip playfully on the shoulder. "Oi, hands off! I'm the birthday girl"

"Jai was a mercenary," Pip confessed, wiping his brow. "Leader of ze wild geese. I make many francs in France before moving here. Jai was told Jai was good with my hands so Jai work here"

"Is that so?" Seras laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder and Pip smirked. "Oui, Oui my flower. And jai needed a place to stay, which provided food... Jai does not have a good record with ze police here"

"And how do you know" Seras taunted playfully, leaning in closer to the french waiter. "I'm not a police girl?"

Pip laughed, tossing his cleaning rag over his shoulder. "Such a delicate flower as yourself couldn't hurt a fly, Chere. Girls should be in ribbons and ride horses"

"Well I don't know about that" Seras made a face. "The last horse I rode tried to kill me"

"Oui" Pip nodded. "I have such loathing for those creatures... stupid lazy oafs"

"This cake is great" Seras chewed enthusiastically, producing a sly cocky grin from Pip "Oh, but of course Chere. Jai am ze best cake-maker in all of England!"

"Hey, don't be boastful" Seras poked the waiter lazily with her fork, hard enough to leave a small mark. "Your cake is great. Why don't you open your own shop? I'm sure you'd make heaps"

"Non, bad idea" Pip commented dryly, stabbing up some more of Seras's cake. "Ze police must not find Pip. And jai needed a free meal so jai became a waiter. Zat all"

"So you can't go anywhere?" Seras chuckled, reminiscing on the days where she had been a police officer, after lowlives like Pip. Not in a million years would he guess she'd once been in uniform. Pip shook his head remorsefully. "Non Chere. Jai can't even return to France"

"You must miss it" Seras took another bite, smiling sympathetically. "I've heard France is very beautiful" Pip nodded enthusiastically, propping his elbows up onto the counter. "Oui, oui. France is beau. But jai didn't have a good reputation back there. Say, you look like ze type of girl who sits at home, cries and eats chocolate as she watches French films. Am I correct?"

"And you look like the type who sits up on the Internet till 2 A.M. watching porn and masturbating" Seras teased playfully. Pip shook his head remorsefully. "Am I zat readable? Drat, how did you know?"

Seras grinned, taking another bite of her cake. "Oh, don't flatter yourself. I know your type. I'd say you're flirting with me Pip Bernadette"

"And is it working?"

"Not at all" Seras laughed gaily, waving her fork in the air and winking. "But the 'delicate' thing worked nicely"

"I would like to see more of you Chere" Seras blinked, surprised. "Do I detect a double meaning in that?"

"Non whatsoever Chere" Pip feigned innocence, licking his lips. Seras thought for a second, taking the last bite of her cake. "Well, I don't have anything on tomorrow, I guess I could-"

"Hey Pip, stop flirting with our customers get your scrawny pale ass back in here" The pair jumped, turning their attention to a blonde woman with curls down to her shoulders. She didn't look like a waitress, dressed in a slinky strapless dress and high-heels. She motioned for Pip with her finger, smiling seductively "I need help in the back. Won't you join me?"

Pip made a face, groaning slightly. "Oui, oui miss. I'll be there in a sec" He glanced apologetically at Seras, standing. "Pardon Chere. Ze manager wants moi. About tomorrow...?"

"Forget about it" Seras forced a smile, pressing a ten-dollar bill into Pip's hand and standing, turning her back on Pip. "Looks like you're busy"

"Chere-"

"See you Pip. Thanks for the cake" Seras ignored the frustrated yells coming from the french man, shoving her hands into her pockets and striding out of the Cafe dejectedly. Seras stared up at the night sky wistfully, shivering slightly as she felt a gloved hand rest on her shoulder.

"How was the cake police girl?" Her master's smug voice filled Seras's ears as the girl turned, fixing Alucard with a weary smile. Blood trickled down the corners of the vampire's mouth- fresh blood. Seras sighed, closing her eyes. "The cake...? The cake was terrific"

"But I think I'll stick with blood"