Benign

Chapter 1: Welcome to the party, pal

Barney once again sat at the usual booth. Conversation tonight amongst the group was lathered with news about Ted's not-so-new girlfriend, Victoria. Even a short verse of 'bang bang bangity bag' rang out once. As the rest of the group chatted, Barney just stared into his scotch and felt a little lost. Every once in a while, he'd throw out a chuckle or say something inappropriate to feel more with it. But it was nearing midnight and the fatigue overcame him. The sides of his mouth perked as he brought the glass up to his lip and swallowed the last mouthful of his drink.

"I'm hittin' the hay early tonight," he announced somberly, putting a few bills down on the table.

"Awww come on, Barney. Marshall and I are supposed to be the ones leaving early," Lily said as she held her glass of wine to her lips.

"Usually, I would. But Quinn has some wedding appointment early in the morning and if I miss it she's withdrawing sex for a day!" Barney sounded like a child that got denied ice cream before bed.

Ted laughed. "Come on, dude. You can go a day without sex. Sit down and have at least another scotch. The night is y-…" Ted got a text. "…I have to go," he said getting up from the table.

"Booty call?" Robin teased, swirling her scotch around in the glass.

"…Yeah. Normally, I wouldn't just leave you guys like this, but since you're all either engaged or married, I figure that sex outranks drinks with friends."

Robin raised her hand up slightly. "Ummm…I'm not married or engaged…I'm all alone. But thanks for singling me out, Ted," she smirked and drank.

"Sorry, Robin," he apologized before leaving the bar with his coat in hand.

Barney started. "Well if he gets to leave-"

"Nope! No one else at this table gets to have sex tonight," she said. Marshall kind of whimpered, but Lily ignored it. "Barney, order another scotch and keep your ass in that booth for…'til one o'clock," Lily ordered, looking at her phone clock.

"Fine, but you have to break the news to little Barnicle about not visiting his 'little friend' tomorrow if I sleep in."

"Last time you said that, you pushed my wife's face in your crotch and tried to make her give 'little Barnicle' a kiss," Marshall spat, drinking his beer. Barney had accepted his defeat and had another scotch hailed over to the table.

Another hour of chatter went by before Marshall and Lily left to relieve the sitter of watching baby Marvin. Barney contemplated leaving too, but Robin was still at the bar alone. When he got up, she didn't say a word. She figured he was leaving too, but didn't bother to stop him from going home. He had someone there. She had nothing but Netflix. Her facial expression looked especially surprised when he returned with two scotches. He paused in mid-step to meet her gaze with a soft one of his own. Handing her the glass, he sat opposite of her and smiled.

"A bro never leaves another bro hanging," he quoted in a hushed voice, throwing a wink Robin's way. She smiled and took a drink of her scotch. Her face lit up with pleasure.

"Canadian?" she questioned. Barney nodded and even let out a chuckle.

"Got the same for myself. I figured 'what the hell?' Like that song by that Drake guy said: you only live once. As much as I hate to admit this, the one-quarter Canadian part of me quenched the thirst."

She raised her glass. "Welcome to the party, pal."

Barney stopped in mid-drink to look at Robin. "Did you just quote Die Hard?"

Robin nodded her head proudly. "A bro always should, right?" They both had a little laugh. "Barney…you seemed really distracted earlier," Robin said, cutting to the chase. Normally, she would've kept joking around with Barney. She would've taken time to praise him after his Canadian comment because it's the first nice thing he's said about her homeland. But his disconnected feeling from the table earlier gave her this gut feeling that something was bothering her friend. She was right. He was breaking out in a cold sweat before her eyes. His chest was rapidly filling up with air and deflating.

"W-w-why do you say that?" his hand shook as he brought the foreign scotch up to his lip and took a relieving gulp of it. Taking his other hand, he wiped a section of sweat from his forehead.

"Even though you didn't go through with it, you were going to leave early. Way too early."

A million things went through Barney's mind in that moment. Robin saw the wheels spinning, so she decided to take a break from talking and enjoy her drink. The pieces of Barney's though process finally came together. Absentmindedly, his left hand traveled to the crook of his neck where the collar of his shirt was held tightly by his tie. He tied it tighter than usual this week because he became paranoid.

…

About a week earlier, Barney was fixing his shirt collar when he noticed a blemish the width of his thumb that he'd never seen. Figuring he'd had it all this time and didn't notice it, he ignored the blemish. It wasn't until he and Quinn were in the middle of their usual foreplay that it was pointed out.

"What's that mark on your neck?" his fiancé asked him as he was kissing her neck. He stopped and scampered over to the bathroom mirror with his shirt half off. Turning his head to the side, he examined the blemish once more. Quickly, he rushed into the kitchen like he was getting a glass of water. He remembered a picture of him and his mom was out in the living room, which was right next to the kitchen. After he got the water, he stopped by the picture. They were near a boat and his shirt was off. The blemish wasn't there in the picture. He gulped, knowing what this could mean. But he didn't want to alarm Quinn.

He told her it was always hidden by his dress shirts. She bought it and wanted to continue their foreplay. But for the first time since he could remember, Barney wasn't up for sex. He made his phone ring and played it off as Marshall and Lily having a problem with baby Marvin and he was part of the solution. Even though it didn't really make sense, she didn't question it as Barney ran out of the apartment.