Hello everyone. I know it's been like forever since I wrote something, but this story was giving me a difficult time, and I couldn't think of how I wanted it written. Plus I needed to get a second job in order to afford things in life. It's a shame when you can't even afford a simple loaf a bread, huh? But anyway. I'm still alive and will try my best to get this story out as quickly as I can. I really need to get my Palm fixed so I can type this up instead of handwriting it first and then typing it up. Takes too much time. LOL. Unfortunately you didn't come here to listen to me rant. You want my latest story, huh? Well here you have it.

Warnings: This is based after Shuichi's rape so it won't be graphic just basic knowledge. And of course let's get the big warning out there for the sake of it. This is a yaoi fic if you don't like, what are you doing in the Gravitation section???? Enough said let's move on.

Chapter One

What happens when the world you cherished falls to pieces not in small bunches but in clunks that rival continents? That was how my world felt at that very moment. Everything was practically pushed out of my life, and I stared at the world around me with hollowed eyes. My body was numb. The emotions that used to run ragged through my essence dulled and became the end to a movie. You can shell it off as it's all make believe and turn back to your own life. Unfortunately I was in my life. Nothing could ever feel the same again. My body was dirty. My soul corrupt. There was no hope left to me or my life. I have become the hollow shell I wished I never would become.

I stared up at the light directly in front of me. My body was sore, but every time I attempted to move, it screamed in pain, whitening my vision. I braced my hands on the beige carpeted floor and pushed myself up. I don't recall how long I remained there on the floor after those assholes had their way with me. The clothes on my body were torn in several locations, but remained intact to provide me with some comfort. Finally my body began to move. Each agonizing step led me further from danger and closer to whatever fate had in store for me. I prayed that it was more than what I already received. I made my way carefully down the stairs, gripping the railing as tightly as my fatigued body could grasp.

The stairs were Hell on my body, but I refused to take the elevator down. I wanted no part of the public eye and wished that I could fade forever in the background. Standing outside of the apartment complex that I stupidly followed Droopy Eyes to, I looked left and then right. Left would lead me back to Yuki's house. A tear rolled down my cheek. He rejected me and look where it got me, but I couldn't help but wish for him to comfort me. All I wanted to do was cry in the warm arms of someone that loves me. I frowned and lowered my gaze to the ground. Yuki would never do that for me.

Taking a deep breath, I took a step towards the right. Hiro will help me. I know he would. Each pain filled step led me closer to his place. I kept telling myself to keep going. Everything will be fine once I reach his place. Small moisture fell on my head. Rain. I stared up at the dark, cloudy sky. Of course it would start raining then. At least it hid my tears. Giving up, I let the tears fall. I had no strength left to hold them back. No desire to fight or hide them. I moved slowly against the flow of people passing me without even the slightest glance. Compared to earlier, I was grateful to not have anyone recognize me. I wouldn't be able to run quickly.

After several long minutes, I stopped suddenly hissing in pain. It felt like hot metal stabbing into my back. The pain ribbon up my body. I bit my lower lip and held in the screams even though the tears crashed down my cheeks. I walked over to the nearest wall and collapsed on the ground. I had trouble controlling the twitch in my body, and I shivered from the cold rain drenching my skin. My thoughts ceased, and I curled my legs against my chest. There was no warmth left in my body only pain. I couldn't think happily or even comprehend what really happened. All I knew was I trusted the wrong person and look where it got me. What did I do to deserve that? Was it because I'm a celebrity? Was it because I'm in love with a man? How could any of that affect Droopy Eyes? I don't understand. How could he hate me so much? I don't remember hurting him besides never remembering who he was. Why would he hire three men to rape me and tried to take Yuki down as well?

It didn't matter anymore. With the pictures in his hands, Bad Luck was finished. I silently hoped that none of this would hurt the others or even Yuki. I stared up at the sky. "I'm sorry, Yuki. I couldn't apologize to you properly." I whispered. My cellphone dropped with a slash in the puddle. I finally snapped out of my thoughts and realized where I was at Hiro's place. I struggled to pull myself up off the cold cement, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. They shook from the pain and the cold. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take those last few steps to my safety.

I stared at the phone in front of me. I could call him to come get me, but what would he say? What if he wasn't even home? He could be out shopping or getting something to eat. I don't know how long I sat there in the freezing rain, but eventually I dialed his number. A few rings, I was about to give up when I heard Hiro's unmistakable voice. "Hey, Shuichi, did you and Yuki make-up?"

I swallowed the lump threatening to choke me at the mention of my lover's name. "Hiro," my voice cracked and sounded hearse. I swallowed again, but couldn't get the words passed my lips.

"Are you okay? You don't sound too good?"

"Can you come and get me?" I asked finally forming the words I commanded. More tears fell down my cheeks as reality slipped in.

"Where are you?" Hiro's voice was soft and calm. I knew I chose right to come to him during this horrific time in my life.

"Outside of your place."

"Why don't you just come up." I couldn't speak again. "Shuichi?"

"I can't move another inch. Please help me." Before I could get more out the phone clicked, and I was staring up at Hiro's gentle eyes. "You see. I can't let him go. Why can't I be happy with Yuki? Is it because we're famous, or is it because we're guys? Is it hard to ask for happiness when so many people have it. What have I done wrong?" The tears fell down my cheeks as Hiro knelt to wrap his arms around me. His body felt like a warm furnace against my frozen skin.

"Shuichi," he whispered in my ear. "You haven't done anything wrong." I pressed my body as close as I could to him. Everything felt warm and safe wrapped up in his arms. I didn't want to let go of him or want him to release his hold on me. "Tell me what happened?"

"I love Yuki and could never bring him any misery. Aizawa must have known that. He used me. Oh, Hiro, it hurt so bad, but I couldn't. I couldn't say anything or make them stop. I was trying to protect Yuki. I couldn't harm him any more than I've already did. I'm sorry, Hiro. I'm so sorry. I can't do this anymore. Everything will be ruined tomorrow. It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault. Don't say that. Let's get you upstairs and out of those wet clothes. You can tell me what happened when you've calmed down." The world around me became hazy, and I couldn't focus on Hiro's words. I remembered standing up, but darkness engulfed my senses, and the last thing I heard was Hiro shouting my name.

I hope that's okay. The next chapter should be out soon. Hopefully within a few days. Thank you for reading please review.

Angel Dove