Prolog/Chapter 1:
The first time Spiderman met Deadpool, he legitimately thought he was met with a cuckoo's nest escapee.
The merc was loudly humming creepy circus music and dancing ballet, while slashing purple aliens in halves, sometimes thirds or quarters. Looking quite proud of his achievements.
The whole scene was so bizarre, Peter honestly thought he crashed into a movie set again, until he was jumped by a pissed looking alien.
At the end, the aliens turned out to be creatures created by Belasco, in retaliation to Shield's attempt to capture him. And Deadpool turned out to be Spiderman's self-proclaimed número uno fan.
As the years went by, Peter was met with the merc more and more often. Deadpool started helping Peter to bust baddies and sometimes they ended up eating Mexican food on rooftops.
…
A couple of years after they met each other, they sat on Wade's floor to play another round of video games. When Peter started a new racing game, he accidentally typed in his name.
He let out an "Oops." But found himself not really minding, and bursted into a fit of giggles that turned quickly into full on laughter.
Wade just set beside him, dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry, Wade. I'm cool, I'm cool." He wheezed, but couldn't really manage to stop his laughter completely. After a few more minutes he said "I'll be good now." And stifled his giggles.
"You're always good, Spidey." Wade retorted.
"You can call me Peter." Peter said with a visible smile since his mask was lifted to his nose. The smile momentarily vanished when he bashfully said "If you want to, I mean."
"Of course I do." Wade assured enthusiastically. "I wanted to call you by your name for years." The elder said. "I can finally contect a name to that glorious butt of yours" He said, looking behind the spider themed hero.
"If you really wanted, you could've found out." Peter said, regarding the fact that Wade was incredibly talented of what he did for a living.
"I wouldn't do that…" Wade said, looking away.
"I know you wouldn't." Peter said with a smile and bumped Wade with his shoulder. He cleared his throat. "Peter." He said and gestured his hand to a handshake.
Wade smiled back. "Wade."
…
By his twenty first birthday, Peter realized Wade had slowly turned into his friend, one of the best he ever had. Which was weird considering Wade and he only knew each other with masks. Though Peter had an idea of what Wade looked like behind the his mask. The Avengers were very specific when they told him how disgustingly disfigured the older man was in detail, after he told them he told Wade his first name.
As they sat on the edge of a building, watching the dark city, Peter breathed in the warm summer breeze and said "I'm twenty one today."
After a short silence Wade crooked a visible smile. "You should've told me sooner, baby boy. I could've-" Wade started saying when he was interrupted.
"It's okay." Peter chuckled. "I'm not really into the whole parties and gifts thing."
"Who's not into gifts?!" Wade huffed in mock disgust, laying a large hand on his chest to emphasize.
Someone who never really had friends. Peter wanted to say, but just shrugged.
"Do you have plans, or…?" Wade questioned.
"Nah. I'm good where I am right now." Peter said with a smile. He really couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Since his aunt May passed away almost a year ago, Wade was the closest to family he had. It seemed like no matter what he'll say or do, Wade will always be there for him, annoyingly accepting and caring.
Sometimes Wade was acting as his listening ear after a crap day, sometimes as a comforting place, sometimes as a caring parent. Most days? All of the above.
Days in which Peter didn't see Wade, he felt like the loneliest person; like his everything was missing. Yes he was talking occasionally to classmates in his university, as well as the Avengers and sometimes X-men… But it was never enough. He couldn't vent to anyone, it always felt like people judged him. 'You're too young.', 'You're supposed to be a grownup.', 'Act like the hero you're supposed to be.', be this, do that. He was sick of it, honestly. You never know how done you are with socially accepted molds, until the moment you find someone who'll never judge you for being your own type of normal.
You see, most people have a few close friends and family, each with their distinctive characteristics and traits which makes them functional to a persons psych. In Peter's case, Wade was all he needed. Which in self reflection, could be seen as completely selfish, since the guy was obviously in love with Peter. But that was uncharted territory for Peter, and he wasn't about to experiment and possibly loose his person.
Setting aside the whole ex-mercenary, schizophrenia, depression, etcetera, etcetera, Wade was the most loving, caring and accepting person. Peter highly doubted ever meeting another someone like him.
Wade moved closer to Peter and gave him a warm hug. "Happy birthday, Petey."
"Thanks." Peter said, thankfully he had his mask to cover his deep blush.
"I could still give you a badass gift you can't afford." Wade said, leaning back and visibly winking through the mask.
"No, thank you." Peter said sweetly and then grabbed Wade by his shoulders and said quite seriously, "If it wasn't for you... I'd probably had starved like four times by now. Good job keeping me alive to the age of twenty one."
They both laughed at that, Peter keeping an eye on Wade, as he moved around on the edge of the roof.
After they calmed down, Peter asked hopefully "Does that mean you can tell me your birthday?"
Peter knew his dependence on Wade was completely selfish, so he tried to make Wade aware of his importance to Peter every chance the latter had. With Wade, actions definitely spoke louder than words, considering every compliment Peter ever gave the older man was grotesquely distorted by the boxes, which made Wade feel even more self conscious and uncomfortable.
"If you wanted to know you could've just check my file on the Avengers' computer." Wade pointed out, since he was well aware Peter had access to it, working for Stark.
"But that will be an intrusion of privacy. Those files contain every little detail of your life, according to Tony." Peter said, a bit remorseful of his last statement.
"Huh." Wade voiced, not meeting SpiderMan's eyes.
{We should've exploded the tower when we had the chance. No one will ever let us in it ever again.}
[Like we really need someone to let us in.] White pointed out.
"Wade?" Peter said when the merc didn't answer.
[The minute you tell him how old you are, there will be no more hope of getting him.] White rationalized.
{Yeah, we're old. Lie.}
[We're old enough to be his parent.]
{That's why we like him so much, he's so innocent and pure. We could easily taint him. Paint him red with gooey blood.}
[We're sick.]
"Shut up." Wade hissed to the voices, fisting his hands.
"Don't listen to them." Peter said and placed his hand on Wade's shoulder, causing the latter to look up to Peter's masked face.
After a short contemplation, Wade sighed.
{Don't forget old.}
[We legitimately look like a walking corpse.]
{The gross ones, in late decomposition stages. Decay is literally oozing from us sometimes.}
[Every normal human is avoiding us and disgusted by us… We're only good for one thing.]
"Thirty first of October." Wade blurted out.
[We shouldn't have been born. The world will be a batter place without us… All we do is bring pain and death everywhere we go.]
{Soon Spidey will be dead too, and it's going to be all our fault.}
"You were born on Halloween?! That's so cool. I can't even imagine how fun that was as a kid." Peter said, imagining a little Wade with a small costume, celebrating his birthday.
"No friends and a drunk abusive dad sure did make it fun." Wade said bitterly, muscles tensing.
[We were never supposed to be born. No one ever loved us. We just force our existence on everyone.]
{We deserve everything we got in life, really.} Yellow giggled.
Peter's smile disappeared as he stroked Wade's arm in a comforting manner. Over the years, the urge to find every single person who ever hurt Wade was only growing stronger. First, he fantasized about hanging the assholes upside down for days, but now he just wanted to tear them to shreds. At the beginning, he didn't knew the extent of the pain Wade was put through in his life, so he dismissed him as a crazy idiot. Nowadays he was grateful his friend was this strong. If it was him in Wade's place, he wouldn't have make it sane enough to function, let alone be this loving and caring for another human being, despite everyone who repeatedly hurt him and stressed to him how un-human he was.
"How old will you be?" He asked gently.
{No, don't! I still have hope! I need that firm ass as close as possible. We can't go back to watching him from a distance.} Yellow whined.
"I'm not even sure anymore…" Wade chuckled sadly. "Lost count a long time ago. I was born in 75'." He said quietly.
[Idiot.]
{I'mma miss that ass.}
After a few moments of silence, Peter concluded "Thirty eight."
"I guess." Wade said shamefully.
Peter chuckled and said "Never thought my best friend will be a thirty seven year old."
Wade lifted his head to stare at the young man. "Best friend?"
{Don't question his wise words!} Yellow whined.
"Umm… Yeah." Peter mumbled. He didn't really meant to say that one out loud.
"We're best friends with Spidey, guys. We've came a long way."
[It's been only a few pages.]
{We're Petey's BFF's! I don't know how that happened but yay!}
"You are, Wade, not them. They're mean." Peter said decisively.
{Well fuck you, too.}
"And you did came a long way since when we first met." Peter said fondly. He was proud of Wade's progress of change. When they first met he was so massed up and all over the place, Peter could barely contain himself when dealing with Wade.
"That's all on you, baby boy."
…
The next day Wade gifted Peter the most advanced and pricey cellphone there was one the market at the moment. He asked weasel to add to it a second SIM card sloth, and had put there a random prepaid number on his name so that he and Peter could communicate. Since the only way Peter could communicate with Wade was by crashing unannounced into his apartment, he was glad to receive a gift of that sort. However, the fact it was so awfully expansive made him reluctant to receiving it at first.
When Wade said there's nothing he could do with a phone that Weasel had dismantled and put back together, Peter accepted it shyly.
…
As the months passed by, Wade and Peter constantly texted each other whenever they were apart.
It seemed like time flew by, and October came faster than expected.
It was the night before Wade's birthday and Peter was still driving on blind. He really didn't know what to get for Wade. The anti-hero had all the money one can want, and he was living in a dump by choice. The only costly things of possession Wade had were his gaming systems, television, laptop, guns and ammo. Wade didn't need anything else.
In the past months Peter bought Wade cooking books twice, so that was out of the question, clothes were lame, Peter didn't want to fuck up the sizing on a dress, ammo or guns were a no-no, and… That was it. Wade already had all the blu-rays of his favorite shows and movies…
Peter was lost.
He was also lost in thought, therefore not hearing Deadpool drop by his side on a rooftop.
"Hello, earth to Petey-pie." Wade waved a hand in front of Peter's face.
Peter moved his own hand towards his face and made said hand as if it was a radio device, and said "Petey-pie roger. What is my protocol for dealing with a hostile ex-merc?"
Wade chuckled and sat besides Peter. "How am I hostile if I bring chimichangas in peace?" He said, getting a stuffed paper bag seemingly out of nowhere.
[Fake it until you make it.]
{Buying Spidey's love with food since 2K11.}
"It's should've be me getting you food on your birthday." Peter pointed out.
"Can you afford getting me food after spending your money on that plumber last week?" Wade asked with a raised brow.
"Not the point." Peter huffed, but took the offered food from Wade's hand nonetheless. He lifted his mask to his nose and said "Thanks."
{We don't like our Spidey scrawny.}
"You're welcome." Wade said with a smile and lifted his mask as well. He mentally noted to himself that Spidey looks especially cute with the light chin stubble he was rocking, probably from lack of time to shave.
"Is that on purpose?" Wade asked, pointing to Peter's chin.
"What is? Do I have something on my face?" Peter asked and started licking his lips.
"N-No, I meant the stubble." Wade clarified.
"Oh." Peter stopped his vigorous mouth licking. "I don't know." He said after a moment of thought. "I first didn't have time to shave, but… I think it looks ok?"
"It's cute." Wade said, which immediately made Peter blush. Unfortunately for him, the blush was visible, which in turn made him nervously nom on his bottom lip rather than the amazing food he was holding, turning it bright red while thinking about a response.
[You cannot steal a kiss, no matter how kissable those lips look, you sick fuck.]
{I don't know, he's practically asking for it with his coy behavior. Just pin him to the ledge and make him see how much we love him.}
[Okay, go ahead. He's obviously using us for food, so we might as well take our pay back sexually. It's only logical.]
I don't even know if you're sarcastic or not, White. Wade said mentally.
"Thanks." Peter said.
"Plus, now I know what your hair color is." Wade winked, in order to ease the tension.
"My hair is darker." Peter pointed out, since his facial hair grew in a mix of light brown and blonde.
"Noted." Wade smirked.
[It's stupid how easy he just made it for us to find him.]
{We can stalk him near the Avengers tower, grab him when nobody's looking.}
[Non-con is not one of our kinks.]
{I know. Stupid PTSD.}
[Not in the tags, either.]
They continued eating in silence, looking at the empty streets below. It's the calm before the shit storm in New York, Peter thought to himself. Tomorrow, Halloween will bring with it all the masked criminals and drunks it usually does.
Suddenly, Peter's phone chimed.
{Who's calling Petey at midnight?}
"I don't know." Wade said, observing Peter.
Peter took his phone out of his back pocket and slid it unlocked. He turned off the alarm and said to Wade "It's officially your birthday. What do you wanna do?" He said with a bright smile.
[We might be hallucinating again.]
"Say Petey, I'm not hallucinating, right?"
"I don't know." Peter said, "Do you see anything other than the two of us eating Mexican food on a rooftop?"
"No…" Wade said.
"So I guess you're not." Peter said with a grin and took a bite out of his chimichanga.
"I guess I'm not…" Wade also took a bite.
"So, what's the plan?" Peter encouraged.
{We should ask him to blow us as a birthday gift.} Yellow suggested.
Wade disregarded the box's suggestion and said "Tekken on my couch?"
"Awesome." Peter said and shined a toothy grin.
[We don't deserve his attention.]
{Shut up, party pooper.}
"Yeah." Wade said to Peter and Yellow.
Peter and Wade finished their food and walked to Wade's apartment.
They spent the next few hours playing video games and watching a few "Friends" episodes while eating pizza.
When Peter was getting too sleepy for his liking, he said "I think I'm going to go home, it's almost five in the morning and I have school tomorrow." He got up from the floor he was sitting on and stretched with an uncovered yawn, saying "Today, really.". Peter totally forgot his mask was lifted since the eating and smiled a bashful smile.
[All good things have to end.]
{This was the best birthday thingy ever!} Yellow squealed.
Wade got up from the couch and walked Peter to the open window.
"I had a lot of fun, thanks for putting up with me." Wade grinned his own small smile.
Peter's smile lessened and he said "It's not putting up with someone if you enjoy their presence. We talked about that, Wade."
"I know, it's just really hard to believe you're my friend sometimes." Wade said, not meeting Peter's sight.
"Wade." Peter said so Wade wouldn't look at him.
Wade didn't lift his head from staring at the floor and said "Sorry…"
A moment later, Wade said with a cheerful voice "Night, baby boy."
Peter took a step closer to Wade and put his hand on Wade's bicep. "You're my favorite person, Wade…" He started and moved his hand to slide down Wade's arm to his hand, sending chills through the older's body, taking Wade's hand in his own smaller palm.
{Spidey is holding our hand!}
[Hey big guy, don't have a heart attack now. I want to see when this train rack's going to crush.]
Wade smiled to Peter's sweet words, but Peter wasn't done yet. "You mean so much to me, and it makes me feel like crap when you don't get just how much." Peter said, his heart is racing like he's about to crash a wall mid air.
"It's fine." Wade tried to assure, stroking Peter's hand with his thumb.
"Please don't interrupt me." Peter asked as he breathed in a deep breath and Wade nodded.
Peter slowly moved his other hand to the hem of his mask, momentarily holding it in place, and then moved his thumb beneath the fabric. With a long sigh and one swift motion he took the mask completely off, fluffy brown hair sticking in every which direction. He slowly opened his eyes and crooked a small smile. "Hi."
Wade went brain dead. For a second his ears were filled with a white noice and his body felt numb.
"Holy shit." Wade all but whispered.
[{HOLY SHIT!}]
Peter looked down shamefully, hiding his face beneath his mane of a hair… Maybe Wade didn't want to know after all. Or maybe he was disappointed. Peter's brain rationalized.
Seeing Peter's action, Wade quickly moved his hand, the one that was free from Peter's hold, and cupped Peter's cheek with it, lifting his face to look at him.
{He looks like a fucking angel.}
[He is one.]
"Now, why would you want to hide this beautiful face from me, baby boy?" Wade said.
Wide baby blue eyes stared at the masked man. Peter was called cute, even handsome before; never beautiful. A light blush stained his cheeks and he moved his eyes away from the much more muscular and taller figure that was Wade.
"Sorry, I'm just…"
"Gorgeous?" Wade supplied with a lighter tone, lifting Peter's face once again to meet his eyes.
{He is. I can totally stare at that face for years and not get bored. I thinks it's even prettier than his marvelous ass.}
[Those eyes.]
A grin tugged at Peter's lips at that. "You're an idiot, Wade." He said.
Wade rolled his eyes, "You love me, though." he joked.
With a smile on his face, Peter said "I do."
Wade's grin went slack in astonishment.
"Just… Give me time, okay?" Peter added quietly.
{Omg, DP, I think we finally died and want to heaven.}
[Yeah, cause if we ever manage to die, we're going to end up there.]
"Okay." Wade breathed out and moved his hand away from Peter's face.
Hesitantly, Peter closed the small distance between the two, got on his tip toes, and kissed Wade.
At first, Wade was shocked and non responsive, but after a few moments his brain went back online and he kissed Peter back. Wade could feel Peter smile against his lips.
From this close, he could smell the scent that was distinctly his baby boy and a soft fruity shampoo scent.
Next, Wade felt Peter lick his bottom lip and couldn't help himself but to snake his tongue to meet Peter's. The light lick sent shocks through Wade's body, which intensified the moment Peter kissed him deeper, snaking his own tongue into Wade's mouth.
Wade put his arm on Peter's waist to pull him closer, but then Peter stiffened and unlocked their lips.
Peter put his arm on Wade's hard chest and rested his forehead against Wade's chin. He whispered "Just give me time."
"I can do that." Wade breathed out.
A moment before Peter pulled down his mask and took off out of the window, he licked his lips, tasting Wade on them, and said "Happy birthday."
…
The next few days, both were reluctant to contact each other and it was probably the longest they didn't speak with one another for the past few months.
After three days of radio silence and the boxes' nonsense non stop, Wade texted Peter.
W: I'm takin off on a mission. Be back in a week or so.
Peter replied promptly.
P: Have fun.
W: Was that 'don't kill nobody' in Spideish?
And just like that, things got back to normal, neither mentioning the kiss.
…
It's been a whole year until Wade spoke of the kiss.
He and Peter were slumped oh Peter's small couch, watching some B grade horror movie.
"Hey baby boy?" Wade said while playing with Peter's hair.
"Hm?"
"We were thinking…" Wade started.
"Ooh, dangerous." Peter smirked.
"Can you gift me tomorrow the same thing you did last year?" Wade asked hopefully.
[You are pushing your luck again, you know you don't deserve this. Just leave the poor kid alone to find normal friends.]
{He was probably so disgusted last time.}
[We definitely do that to people.]
[DP- Boner killer since the early 00'.]
"I can do that." Peter said with a smile.
…
And just like that, Wade's official birthday gift for years to come became a kiss from Peter. Neither would talk about said kisses for the entire year and won't push to do anything else. Each terrified losing the other.
Of course Wade's innuendos and sexual jokes continued, but nothing serious, in Peter's opinion.
Two years later, Peter dated Black Cat for a few months, it was never serious in his mind. Felicia however, disagreed. When he ended things with her, she punched him as hard as she could in the jaw.
Wade, seeing the nasty bruise, wanted to end her life that same day.
{Calm your unicorns, big guy.}
Through gritted teeth, Wade said "How could you just let her punch you like that?" He angrily motioned to Peter's bruised face, while moving towards him in Peter's small kitchen. The entirety of the left side of his jaw was colored with purple and bluish hues.
Shying away from Wade's enraged look, Peter said "I kinda deserved it, though."
[How come his Spidey sense didn't warn him?]
"I bet you had to literally force yourself to just stand in place while she did it." Wade shook his head. "What the fuck, Pete?"
"Listen, Wade-"
"No." Wade growled. "You listen to me." He said as he moved extremely close to Peter. "No one, and I literally mean no fucking one, break's my stuff and just goes off, living their merry 'ol life."
"Wade, I'm not-" Peter tried to interjected.
"No, Baby boy, but you are." Wade deadpanned. "And I've been real patient and truly a happy go lucky camper, but don't let that fool you, Sweetums. I can turn fucking berserk in mere seconds." Wade said with the deepest and most murderous tone Peter had ever heard. "So please, do not fucking test me."
For a few moments Peter merely stood there, bewildered. When he saw Wade turn to leave, Peter moved to hug him. "I'm sorry." He said to the older man's chest.
"I'm going to leave, before I will do something I'll regret later." Wade said, sounding a lot less angry.
Peter let him go. "Okay. Good night." he said, walking Wade to the front door.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Wade said and left.
…
Wade did talk to Peter the next day, never mentioning the previous night. 'Them' was a subject best left undiscussed.