Moaning Myrtle's Diary
October the 31st
Today I met Harry Potter at Nearly Headless Nick's Deathday Party.. He wasn't like all the stories said. A hero. On the good side. No. He was mean. Him and his ugly friends called me names. Peeves chased me. I don't like him much. Harry, that is. Or Peeves. Filch's cat got attacked. Last time there were attacks, I died. Oh, no. I'm getting myself started again.
...
But the cat's attack did some good for me. Gaunt thing scratches at my door. Filch comes running. Says mushy stuff. "What is it, my darling? Have you seen danger, my little snooky-puss?" then he kisses her, like a thousand times, he does. Makes horrible noise. Too much noise. But now whenever Filch passes the bathroom he's SOBBING. I hate people who make too much noise.
Stupid Harry Potter.
November the 1st
What nerve! Harry and his same dumb friends came into MY bathroom. It's not like I did anything to THEM. For one glorious moment I thought they'd apologize. The freckled one mentioned I was already dead. Sobbed in my toilet for almost an hour. Harry and his friends probably never noticed all I want is to be left alone.
He seems pretty nice though.
November the 12th
Stupid gits. Came back in my bathroom. Making a smelly potion. I overheard some of their conversation. Nasty thing, they're doing. Brewing a complicated potion. Polyjuice, it's called. Oh, they'd get in trouble, they would, if I'd've told someone. But I don't dare leave the bathroom.
Plus, Harry was there. Don't want to get him in trouble. He isn't so bad.
But I think I'm going jealous of his little friend. Hermione, her name. Stupid and long. Myrtle's much better. Hermione seems to be the brains of the trio, too. Not counting Harry. Hope he doesn't like her too much. I don't. She's the one who led them to my bathroom in the first place. I'm much more likable anyway.
November the 17th
Heard Harry's Seeker for Gryfindor. He must be very talented. Caught the snitch yesterday. Poor boy's broken his arm, though. Bludger was fixed and smashed into him.. Stupid Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher removed all of his bones. Got a new enemy.
Another attack. Little kid, Colin Creevey, first year. I heard he's a big Harry Potter fan.
November the 19th
Dueling Club started today. Harry and his friends and other kids went. Another attack. Kid named Justin Flinch-Fletchley or something. What kind of a name is that? Anyway, everyone thinks Harry did it. He can speak Parseltongue. I know that Harry wouldn't do something like that.
November the 22nd
Harry and his friends have started to brew their potion. Heard them talking again. Hermione mentioned getting some ingredients they needed from Snape's private stores. Wish I could tell her off, but then they'd find out Harry was an accomplice. Smells awful. They say it will take about a month to finish. A month? I have to deal with Harry's two stupid friends for a month. Merry Christmas to me.
December the 25th
Finally, their potion's finished. Heard them each drink it. They turned into three different people for some reason or another. Harry and his red-headed friend turned into 2 people just fine. They were out for about an hour without Hermione. Said she didn't feel good. Didn't sound ok, either. Got me excited. I left my toilet to go see what was wrong. It was better than I thought! She had turned into a CAT. She grew ears and a tail and fur all over her face! Laughed myself silly, I did! And according to Miss All-Brains-And-No-Brawn, the potion isn't to be used for animal transformations. Harry and his smelly friend returned. Got all surprised. I laughed harder when they left. Harry can't like a girl in Hermione's role, so that leaves my path clear!
January the 6th
My happiness last week didn't last long. Today someone threw a book at me! Stupid little book turned out to be a diary. Didn't read it. Nothing inside, anyway. It said T. M. Riddle on the front. Probably just any other dumb kid up at the school. Harry and his friend-- Ron, his name (is it just me or is everyone's name disgustingly stupid?) came in and took the book. Said it was important and left. But I found out Hermione's in the Hospital Wing. Perfect.
January the 20th
Hermione's still in the hospital wing. Everyone thinks there was another attack. People don't know anything. Valentine's Day's coming up pretty soon. Maybe Harry will give me a Valentine's Day thing.
February the 14th
Got a new enemy today. That's the second one this school year. Ginny Weasley. Guess what? She's that stupid freckled kid's sister. What a moron she must be. She got Harry a Valentine!
Why didn't I think of that?
Anyway, she looks pretty much like her brother. Got her red Weasley hair. Probably runs in the family. Load of dung. Anyway, what really got me was she gave Harry a Valentine, like I said before. Some Malfoy kid's spreading it around like butter on hot toast. It was a dumb one anyway. Sung a poem, I think. But Harry'd probably like ME better then Ginny "head-on-fire" Weasley.
April the 11th
Hermione is back to normal. And, the Quidditch Final is coming up pretty soon. Gryfindor versus Hufflepuff. And Hagrid, that oaf of a gamekeeper, is being sent to Azkaban. Don't know why. Don't care. But the point is, I will be rooting for Gryfindor.
April the 15th
Not fair.
McGonagall cancelled the whole match. Gryfindor would've won.
But there was another attack. A double attack, infact. Some prefect in Ravenclaw and Hermione! Harry and Ron are trying to figure out all these impossible things, catch the Heir of Slytherin, blah, blah, blah.
April the 24th
Harry and his smelly friend came into the bathroom and asked how I died. I was very flattered, really, and told them with great relish about the 2 yellow eyes I stared into, and then I was blissfully floating away and came to live back in my toilet. Now, Potter's a Parselmouth, and he spoke to a snake thing carved in the sink, and a big hole opened and Harry Ron and that traitor who took away Harry's arm bones went into the Chamber of Secrets. Turns out Ron's little sister GINNY was taken into the chamber!
I know Harry is going to die. That's so sad. But maybe he'll share my toilet.
Maybe Ginny's dead.
...
Harry came out. He's alive. I really thought he'd die.
Famous Harry Potter.
He came out with Ron and Ginny.
She's alive too.
Dumb freckled faced boy Ron said to Ginny that she's got competition. Over Harry, that is. Does he really know I have a little, tiny, itsy bitsy crush on Harry?
*****
Short and stupid, right? All flames will be heartily agreed with. They will also be used to make ummy nummy Toll House cookies.
October the 31st
Today I met Harry Potter at Nearly Headless Nick's Deathday Party.. He wasn't like all the stories said. A hero. On the good side. No. He was mean. Him and his ugly friends called me names. Peeves chased me. I don't like him much. Harry, that is. Or Peeves. Filch's cat got attacked. Last time there were attacks, I died. Oh, no. I'm getting myself started again.
...
But the cat's attack did some good for me. Gaunt thing scratches at my door. Filch comes running. Says mushy stuff. "What is it, my darling? Have you seen danger, my little snooky-puss?" then he kisses her, like a thousand times, he does. Makes horrible noise. Too much noise. But now whenever Filch passes the bathroom he's SOBBING. I hate people who make too much noise.
Stupid Harry Potter.
November the 1st
What nerve! Harry and his same dumb friends came into MY bathroom. It's not like I did anything to THEM. For one glorious moment I thought they'd apologize. The freckled one mentioned I was already dead. Sobbed in my toilet for almost an hour. Harry and his friends probably never noticed all I want is to be left alone.
He seems pretty nice though.
November the 12th
Stupid gits. Came back in my bathroom. Making a smelly potion. I overheard some of their conversation. Nasty thing, they're doing. Brewing a complicated potion. Polyjuice, it's called. Oh, they'd get in trouble, they would, if I'd've told someone. But I don't dare leave the bathroom.
Plus, Harry was there. Don't want to get him in trouble. He isn't so bad.
But I think I'm going jealous of his little friend. Hermione, her name. Stupid and long. Myrtle's much better. Hermione seems to be the brains of the trio, too. Not counting Harry. Hope he doesn't like her too much. I don't. She's the one who led them to my bathroom in the first place. I'm much more likable anyway.
November the 17th
Heard Harry's Seeker for Gryfindor. He must be very talented. Caught the snitch yesterday. Poor boy's broken his arm, though. Bludger was fixed and smashed into him.. Stupid Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher removed all of his bones. Got a new enemy.
Another attack. Little kid, Colin Creevey, first year. I heard he's a big Harry Potter fan.
November the 19th
Dueling Club started today. Harry and his friends and other kids went. Another attack. Kid named Justin Flinch-Fletchley or something. What kind of a name is that? Anyway, everyone thinks Harry did it. He can speak Parseltongue. I know that Harry wouldn't do something like that.
November the 22nd
Harry and his friends have started to brew their potion. Heard them talking again. Hermione mentioned getting some ingredients they needed from Snape's private stores. Wish I could tell her off, but then they'd find out Harry was an accomplice. Smells awful. They say it will take about a month to finish. A month? I have to deal with Harry's two stupid friends for a month. Merry Christmas to me.
December the 25th
Finally, their potion's finished. Heard them each drink it. They turned into three different people for some reason or another. Harry and his red-headed friend turned into 2 people just fine. They were out for about an hour without Hermione. Said she didn't feel good. Didn't sound ok, either. Got me excited. I left my toilet to go see what was wrong. It was better than I thought! She had turned into a CAT. She grew ears and a tail and fur all over her face! Laughed myself silly, I did! And according to Miss All-Brains-And-No-Brawn, the potion isn't to be used for animal transformations. Harry and his smelly friend returned. Got all surprised. I laughed harder when they left. Harry can't like a girl in Hermione's role, so that leaves my path clear!
January the 6th
My happiness last week didn't last long. Today someone threw a book at me! Stupid little book turned out to be a diary. Didn't read it. Nothing inside, anyway. It said T. M. Riddle on the front. Probably just any other dumb kid up at the school. Harry and his friend-- Ron, his name (is it just me or is everyone's name disgustingly stupid?) came in and took the book. Said it was important and left. But I found out Hermione's in the Hospital Wing. Perfect.
January the 20th
Hermione's still in the hospital wing. Everyone thinks there was another attack. People don't know anything. Valentine's Day's coming up pretty soon. Maybe Harry will give me a Valentine's Day thing.
February the 14th
Got a new enemy today. That's the second one this school year. Ginny Weasley. Guess what? She's that stupid freckled kid's sister. What a moron she must be. She got Harry a Valentine!
Why didn't I think of that?
Anyway, she looks pretty much like her brother. Got her red Weasley hair. Probably runs in the family. Load of dung. Anyway, what really got me was she gave Harry a Valentine, like I said before. Some Malfoy kid's spreading it around like butter on hot toast. It was a dumb one anyway. Sung a poem, I think. But Harry'd probably like ME better then Ginny "head-on-fire" Weasley.
April the 11th
Hermione is back to normal. And, the Quidditch Final is coming up pretty soon. Gryfindor versus Hufflepuff. And Hagrid, that oaf of a gamekeeper, is being sent to Azkaban. Don't know why. Don't care. But the point is, I will be rooting for Gryfindor.
April the 15th
Not fair.
McGonagall cancelled the whole match. Gryfindor would've won.
But there was another attack. A double attack, infact. Some prefect in Ravenclaw and Hermione! Harry and Ron are trying to figure out all these impossible things, catch the Heir of Slytherin, blah, blah, blah.
April the 24th
Harry and his smelly friend came into the bathroom and asked how I died. I was very flattered, really, and told them with great relish about the 2 yellow eyes I stared into, and then I was blissfully floating away and came to live back in my toilet. Now, Potter's a Parselmouth, and he spoke to a snake thing carved in the sink, and a big hole opened and Harry Ron and that traitor who took away Harry's arm bones went into the Chamber of Secrets. Turns out Ron's little sister GINNY was taken into the chamber!
I know Harry is going to die. That's so sad. But maybe he'll share my toilet.
Maybe Ginny's dead.
...
Harry came out. He's alive. I really thought he'd die.
Famous Harry Potter.
He came out with Ron and Ginny.
She's alive too.
Dumb freckled faced boy Ron said to Ginny that she's got competition. Over Harry, that is. Does he really know I have a little, tiny, itsy bitsy crush on Harry?
*****
Short and stupid, right? All flames will be heartily agreed with. They will also be used to make ummy nummy Toll House cookies.