Author's Note: Hey there lovelies! Thanks for checking out my story, and I hope you enjoy. My first fanfic, so go easy on the reviews, huh? Thanks, and hope you enjoy! *Blows kisses*

A knock came at the door, and Merrill sat still, unmoving as she made no attempt to answer it. Isabela, most likely, or maybe Varric, here to fawn over her and ensure she was taking proper care of herself. Not that she should, by any rights, not after all that she had done. Not after Pol, not after what a child s he had been, the lives lost because of her. Another knock came, and she stiffened, not making any noise.

"Merrill!" She froze. It was Hawke. Oh no, she couldn't face her, not like this. Not Hawke, who had refused her the Arulin'holm, trying to protect her from herself. Not the Hawke that she had developed such a foolish attraction to. "Sweetie, I know you're here. Please, can I talk to you? All I need is a minute, I just want to make this up to you."

"Go away Hawke." She closed her eyes, looking down, voice and heart shaking. "Please." She wasn't mad at Hawke, not so much as she was hurt. Of course it was the right decision, Hawke always did the right thing, but still… she had trusted Hawke, her friend, and she hadn't been there when Merrill needed her. Hawke had fled when she had yelled, perhaps even fearing for herself. No, she couldn't face Hawke, not after that.

"Merrill, I have your damned knife." Hawke begged through the door, leaning against the frame with closed, weeping eyes. "Please, just let me in, let me talk to you." Silence, and Hawke laid her head against the door. "Fine." She nodded. "Don't open the door. Just listen, please. If you do, I'll leave the knife outside the door, and you never need to see me again."

Shaking, Merrill nodded to herself, wringing her hands. "Go ahead." Her voice wasn't much more than a whisper, but Hawke heard it anyway, and it was as if a voice from the heavens had washed over her. A chance to redeem herself.

"Merrill," She choked, steadying herself to stand straight, nodding to herself. "I… I want to tell you that I never, never wanted to hurt you like this. I need you to hear that, to believe that. I… you don't think I take you seriously, you said that. That… t-that I treated you like a child. That's not why I did what I did. Merrill, I have spent my whole life scared, frightened. My brother and sister are dead, because of me, the whole city's counting on me to stop the Qunari. My mother stopped loving me years ago, and soon enough I'll be living alone in this world." Her voice broke, and she took a moment to compose herself. "Listen to me. Merrill, I didn't mean to hurt you. I did what I did because… because..." She shook her head. "Because I don't want to lose you too. When… when Carver died, you let me sleep on the floor, next to you, so I wouldn't have to be alone. I closed my eyes, and..." She chuckled, shaking her head. "Oh Maker. You probably don't even remember that night, but it changed my life."

"I remember." Merrill had opened her eyes, now watching the last few embers in the fireplace. How could she have forgotten? That was the night… the night she couldn't deny what she felt about Hawke any longer. "We… we stayed up talking all night, laughing and telling stories. When you finally fell asleep… you looked happy, for once."

"I was." Hawke nodded, her head in her hands. People were staring behind her, elves wondering why this shem was blubbering to one of them, but she couldn't care. "Because, when I closed my eyes… I knew you would be there when I opened them. I didn't know what it meant, but I knew that I couldn't lose you the way I lost Carver and Bethany." She shook her head. How stupid she had been, to let this come between them. "Merrill… I love you. I didn't know it then, but I knew that I didn't want to live without you. Maybe… maybe that is how you know. And when I was faced with the blood magic, with the idea of some demon twisting and warping you until… until..." She shook her head, and found herself sitting in uncomfortable silence. "Okay." She nodded. "That's… that's it. That's what I needed you to hear. I'm done. I'll leave the knife out here, and you never need to see me again. I just needed you to hear me, to understand, to-"

The door opened.

"Hawke." Merrill whispered, and Hawke's heart broke at the sight. Her eyes were tinged pink from tears, her face fallen and sunk, with dark undertones just above her cheekbones. "Don't leave… please."

"Thank the Maker." Hawke breathed. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around the elf and kiss her until she couldn't breathe, but… no. Not only was that the wrong thing to do, there was something else she needed to do. She pulled the elven knife from her belt. "Here." She insisted, handing it to the Dalish girl. "You need to take this."

"Hawke, I don't-"

"Please, just take it." She folded it into Merrill's hand. "I can't hold it anymore. Use it, throw it away, sell it, I don't care anymore. So long as I hold this, something that is rightfully yours, I have taken away your ability to choose for yourself. I have to give this back to you." She moved her hand away, leaving it completely back into Merrill's hands, who slowly put it on the table next to her, never taking her eyes off of Hawke's. It made Hawke sigh inwardly in relief. There. It was gone, forgotten. Now all that was left was to either make things right, or leave. "All I want is to make this up to you. I really fucked it up this time, and I know that. I know I don't deserve it, but if you just… give me another chance, I promise you, I-"

Merrill stepped forward, putting a finger to Hawke's lips to silence her. "Hawke," She whispered, and Hawke's heart was pounding in her chest at their closeness. "You don't need make it up to me. All I want is to hear one thing from you." Hawke nodded emphatically, unable to speak or even breathe. "You… said you love me." She nodded again, closing her eyes. Here it was. The rejection, where her heart was broken. "What… did you mean by that? Do you love me like… a child? The way you love your dog?"

"No." Hawke pleaded, fighting every urge to keep her from throwing her arms around the elf. "Merrill, I mean I love you. As a woman. When I look at you, my heart races, my breath gets short, I..." She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I must look like a fool, but I love you. Romantically, and… well, physically too."

"Really?" Merrill whispered, and Hawke nodded. Silence held the air, the whole world watching with bated breath as it waited. "I… love you too."

Then Hawke's life changed, forever.

Merrill threw her arms around Hawke's neck, and their lips met. Fire ignited at their lips, spreading down their bodies to the their cores. Hawke took Merrill's chin with her forefinger and thumb, tilting her head and opening her mouth ever so slightly. Maker's breath, but Merrill's lips were amazing. She smelled warm, sweet and earthy. Like a glade of spring flowers, fire digging in her belly that drove her into a frenzy, tightening her arms around the elf as she lost herself.

"Hawke." Merrill gasped as she pulled back, opening her eyes and resting her nose on Hawke's, staring deep into those dreamy blue depths, like the ocean back in Ferelden. Not like the murky, polluted waters of Kirkwall. "That was… you… I…"

"First kiss?" She smiled, and Merrill nodded emphatically. "I kinda wish it was mine." Merrill giggled, making her smile grow in turn. "So… does this mean you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Merrill smiled, shaking her head and wrapped her arms further around Hawke's waist. "You were only trying to protect me. Because you love me. I… would have done the same thing. I realize that now." She glanced down, realizing the air smelled a little different now. She blushed as she realized it was arousal, and that she couldn't tell if it was Hawke's, or her own. "What happens now?"

"I don't know." Hawke shook her head, smiling. "I have all I wanted: you back in my life." She smiled wickedly, lowering a hand to grasp as Merrill's ass, relishing in her surprised squeal. "Plus one hell of a kiss."

Merrill giggled, curling further into Hawke's arms. Blushing, with her ears perking up, she whispered to her new lover. "C-could we do it again? Kiss, I mean, not where you grabbed me. U-unless you want to, I like that too, it felt… good, in a-a lot of ways. I-"

She was cut off by Hawke closing the door behind her, which made Merrill blush as she realized they had drawn a crowd watching her first kiss, their first kiss. As she slid the bolt lock shut, Hawke turned back, grinning wickedly as she took Merrill in her arms once more.

"Merrill? We can kiss until the next Blight starts." They both giggled, and began once more.