AN- Please review, whether you think this is good or bad. Im still kinda new at this but I hope you like it!

Also just a note to let you know I don't own any of this, the characters, and everything belong to Joss.

Rating- R for language, maybe something else later on.

Summary- What would have happened if Spike had gone to Buffy in season.5 of Angel? Would things have been any different between them?

Spike looked at up at the looming Eiffel Tower, funny it had looked bigger last time. But he didn't have time for sight seeing now, he had to find her, the chosen one. Slayer, his slayer. He spent the first few nights in France just visiting the local bars, hoping to catch her scent. Sometimes at night, after he'd had a few beers he'd think he saw her, but no, it was never her. Common sense told him to call up the Scoobies and just ask where she was, but his pride told him other wise. Besides, they'd probably call her up and warn her he was coming, that and he wanted it to be a surprise. His death had had such an impact on her life, what would his being back do? He just hoped she was still loving him, the way he was loving her.

Buffy stepped out of the shower and surveyed the scene around her. He was still asleep, she didn't even know his name. They'd met last night as she was stepping out of the club. She knew inviting him to her place was wrong. Felt like betrayal. But she needed it, needed him to make the pain go away. They looked alike, blonde hair, lean muscular frame, cockney accent, and those cheekbones. And as they made love she imagined it was him…Spike….she sighed and the man lifted himself up out of bed.

"Mornin love" she trembled, that had been his name for her.

"Do you mind not calling me that? And I hope you realize last night…" she faltered. "Last night was just last night, no more." She blushed.

Buffy wasn't used to doing this, Faith was more of the one night stand slayer.

"S'ok kitten. I understand, and I just hope I helped a little. Who ever Spike is he's one hell of a lucky man." Buffy looked up. How did he know about Spike?

"Oh don't you remember? Last night, you called his name out. Figured he was some ex boyfriend of yours." The man obviously felt awkward telling her this.

"Oh Spike, he was my boyfriend. He…. he died a few months ago." She felt the tears start to fall, they always did when she talked about his death.

After a few minutes the man let himself out. Buffy finished getting ready and then went out patrolling.

Here, in this club the smell was the strongest. 'She must have been here in the past few days' Spike thought to himself. He made his way over to the bartender to ask about her.

"Scuse me I was just wondering if you might help me in finding someone. Blond hair, female, small petite frame. Bout yay high. I think she's been here in the past few nights." He held his un needed breath waiting for the mans response.

"Oh yeah Buffy, she's here bout twice a week. Lives a block away. I can tell you the address if you want it. Course I don't know if you would wanna go over this morning." The man gave Spike a knowing look.

"What exactly do you mean?"

" Well….lets just say she didn't go home alone last night." Spike had to fight to keep his vampire side at bay. The thought of a man, any man with Buffy made him sick to his stomach.

"Well why don't you just give me the address and I'll decide when I go." Spike let his vampire side flash quickly just to give the guy a scare. "Sure man whatever you want."

Spike opened the door to the apartment, number 613, hoping, not hoping she would be there. 'Was he ready to face her?' he wondered. Would she still love him? He scanned the place glad to see no one was there. His face fell though as he noticed the messy post sex bed. Buffy never had been one to clean up after sex. He remembered this one time…..'No Spike, right now is not the time for memories.' He made his way over to the bureau to see what was there. 'What's this?' he wondered. It appeared to be a diary.

5/21/03

They think I don't here them, talking about me. 'Oh poor Buffy her boyfriends dead.' He's not dead and I'll prove it to them. I don't care what magic voo doo Willow has to pull, I can't do this alone. I need him. How dare he do this to me?! Just die like that. Damn him I thought he was a fighter. And where did he get off saying I didn't mean it when I said I loved him. I meant those words more than anything. He doesn't know how hard it is for me to say that. What I feel for him it's not anything compared to what I felt with Angel or Riley. And fuck him for not realizing that.

5/27/03

We stopped today in LA, on our way to England. Angel told me if he hears anything about Spike he'll call me, let me know.

'Bloody hell, that git. Angel never called Buffy when I got back.' Spike thought to him self. "Looks like I need to go have a talk with my grand sire." Spike said out loud.

A Week later, back in LA

Spike pushed his way past Harmony, making his way towards Angel's office. Spike heard Harmony yelling "Spike he's in a meeting, you cant go in there!" He banged open the door, "Angel you bastard! We need to talk. Now!" Angel looked up from his desk. "Spike I'm in the middle of a meeting, can this wait?"

"No the bloody hell it can not wait! I went to Italy, and I found Buffy's apartment, I saw what she read in her diary, about how you would call her the minute you heard anything about me. I've been back for 3 bleeding months, and have you even picked up the phone to talk to her?" Angel sighed, he knew this would come up eventually.

"Spike, what did you expect me to do?" he yelled, his meeting with the grimslaw demon forgotten. "Call her up, say hey Buffy, your little fuck buddy's back from the dead? I don't think so Spike, I realize you may love her, or atleast think you do-

"Oh hold on one minute, never have I once thought I loved Buffy, I have always known I loved Buffy, and she loves me back. I can see it, in her eyes, in the way she looks at me. She loves me."

"Fine then Spike." Angel roared back. "If you realize she "loves" you, like you say then why did you tell her she didn't really mean it? She told me about that Spike. Do you even know what being a slayer has done to Buffy? How hard it has made it for her to love someone? And when she finally tells you she loves you, you tell her she doesn't mean it. Now whose a git Spike?"

"Well." Two heads turned towards the door. "I personally think you can both be gits at times."