Disclaimer: Discworld Rocky Horror Show made me do it. And I don't own anything.
Enjoy :)
Estelle Tiniwiel x
It was as he'd been doing his yearly (but random) inspection of the Guilds that he'd first heard it. Two young ladies had been walking slowly down the street, parasols shielding them from the flame-thrower glare of the summer sun, and had not noticed his tall black figure shielded in the shadows of the arched doorway of the Assassins.
Their gazes were fixed rapturously upon one another, totally engrossed in their conversation.
"… and I heard that he wears corsets in his spare time," said one.
"What, really? Lord Vetinari? But I thought he was in a… relationship with the Uberwald Lady?" said the other.
"Ah, yes, well, you know what they say: no-one's really sure about what His Lordship likes. And who knows what other tastes a vampire could develop?"
He watched them go, blue eyes fixed in well-hidden horror on their backs until they disappeared around the corner of the street, body frozen in a tableau of definitely-not-shock, black cane hovering an inch over the cobbles.
What? What? Where on disc had they got that idea?
Vetinari didn't have spare time.