So who wants a really depressing and odd Tsubasa fanfiction where Kurogane and Sakura are dead, and as a result Syaoran and Fai become attached to each other far beyond what they should?

Too bad, I'm writing it anyway.

Let's get this straight, by the way. As it says in my profile, (I'm writing this on Google Docs right now, but transferring it later) I ship KuroFai and SyaoSaku. KuroFai is most likely my eternal OTP, (though maybe you don't believe me now) and SyaoSaku is probably also up in the top ten. (If I include straight ships)

But I read this fanfic, which was actually a threesome between Kurogane, Fai, and Syaoran, and not at all depressing, and it got me thinking.

This story was born as a result.

Sorry if it feels rushed. I didn't exactly put 100% into it.

My plans are to make this a long oneshot, but it's possible it might turn into a mini series. I guess I'll type and see which one I'm feeling.

Oh, and I know Fai needs Kurogane's blood to survive...But it also never clarifies, and trust me I've looked, (because I'm a superfan who wants to be as accurate as possible) if he still needs it after half of his magic is returned during the final battle. In previous stories I've wrote, I've made it that he still needed the blood, but in this one, let us pretend he doesn't.

Because I wrote this one, next I'll write a KuroSaku one, to even it out. I hope it won't be too similar.

Summary: One night, after the tragic deaths of Kurogane and Sakura, Syaoran goes into Fai's room, and Fai doesn't stop him. So begins their tragic relationship.

Warnings: MxM.(Thought most likely won't be explicit) Probably Depressing. Definitely Weird.

Chapter 1: So it Began

Fai's nights were always filled with nightmares, ever since the deaths. Sometimes the nightmares were about the deaths themselves, and other times they weren't, but they were nightmares always non-the-less. He'd wake, his heart pounding, his blond hair stuck his forehead with sweat, and always, for a brief second, he would have the overwhelming urge to grab the spot next to him, and snuggle tightly into the strong form that had always been there.

But wasn't there anymore.

Sometimes it wasn't until his hand connected with the empty spot, and hit nothing, that he remembered. He would desperately clutch the sheets, and open and shut his eyes, like maybe this was the nightmare, and maybe if he did it enough times, he would wake.

But he never did.

And then, without fail, he would cry.

He knew that Syaoran most likely could hear him too, and he'd try to stop, or at least cry quietly. If Syaoran heard him, he might start to cry himself.

Might? There was hardly a doubt.

And Fai couldn't do that to him, the only one he had left. Well, he did still have Mokona too, and he was so grateful for that.

It had been so sudden…

Kurogane and Sakura….

They had been so happy at first, the four of them, to find that they had landed in Clow, and would be able to visit with Sakura, for as much time as fate would allow.

So happy…

He remembered the joyous shouts as they realized where they were, and the tight hugs as they were reunited after such a long time. Almost two years had passed since their last visit, at least in their time. It was noticeable too, though fortunately, not by much. But just enough. Syaoran was taller, more mature looking. Surely, Fai was not the only one who noticed it.

But they hadn't let that spoil it.

It had been such a good, happy time.

But…

They'd gone out together, the five of them, Mokona included, intending to have a fun day out. Fai had been holding Kurogane's arm, laughing happily. Kurogane was gamely listening to him ramble on, and Fai even saw him smile a couple of times. Syaoran and Sakura had been walking ahead of them, holding hands, and talking together softly. Fai had been so happy for them. He had Kurogane with him all the time, but Syaoran could only see Sakura when, again, fate allowed it.

It had been such a great day.

Fai had thought he'd never forget it.

And he was right.

But not for the reason he had thought.

Because, suddenly, as they were walking, and talking, and laughing, Sakura, sweet, gentle Sakura had collapsed. She wasn't the Sakura that had traveled far and wide through the dimensions with him, but he loved her anyway, and the moment she'd gone down, he'd screamed, and rushed over, followed closely by Kurogane. He remembered the look of horror and terror on Syaoran's face, as he'd shook his beloved princess, trying to get her to stir. Her chest rose and fell with breaths, but her eyes wouldn't open.

They'd run as fast as they could, back to the castle. Kurogane of course, was the one who carried the fallen princess, being the strongest and fastest.

Once they got her back to the castle, she was quickly rushed away, to be looked at by doctors. Kurogane, Fai, Syaoran, Mokona, and all of Sakura's family had waited, half of them practically in tears.

Finally, the doctors had come.

And the news hadn't been good.

Sakura was dying. She had a rare disease, that almost nobody caught anymore. According to their records, it was incurable, and fast acting.

And contagious.

Contagious.

Fai remembered the moment he heard the word. He'd stood completely still, like if he didn't move, none of this was actually happening. What they were saying wasn't possible.

It wasn't .

He'd turned towards Kurogane, who had carried Sakura to the castle, because he was the strongest and fastest. Kurogane looked back at him, and even though he tried to hide it, Fai saw the horrifying truth dawn in his lover's eyes.

The doctors had said there was hope. That not everyone who touched her was necessarily in danger.

So Fai had hoped, even as Sakura lay dying, with Syaoran crying over her, and as she cried back to him, softly whispering to him, that Kurogane would be okay.

He hoped for Syaoran too, who had held her hand the whole walk, and for her family, who must have had contact with her.

But above all, he had hoped for Kurogane. Kurogane had kept him alive, and sane, and without him, Fai wasn't sure he could survive. He couldn't lose his brother, and Ashura, and Sakura, and Kurogane.

Kurogane wouldn't let him touch him. It was for his safety, and Fai knew it, but so badly he wanted to hold Kurogane tightly. If he'd had known that that walk, where he'd held onto Kurogane's arm, would be the last time he'd touched him, he would have held on much tighter.

He would have kissed him one last time.

Sakura died the next day, in the evening. Fai hadn't been there when it happened. He'd spoken to her a few hours before, and she had told him how much she loved him, all of them, and all of the other sweet things he'd expect from Sakura.

Even though he wasn't there, he knew when it happened, because he heard Syaoran's scream from where he was at. He'd run back, and found her lifeless, and Syaoran screamed, and was held back from touching her body. Why had they done that, Fai wondered? Was she still so contagious, that they couldn't even touch her after her death?

Another day had passed, spent by crying. Not just in the castle. The people of Clow had mourned.

Fai almost had hoped at this point, that Kurogane would be okay…

He'd hoped.

And prayed…

So hard…

But then, with Fai standing right next to him, trying to convince him to let him just briefly hold his hand, and maybe about to succeed, Kurogane had collapsed.

They all knew what was going to happen.

And they were right.

He'd stayed next to Kurogane the whole time, waiting. He'd cried, and screamed, and Kurogane had let him.

And then the man that he loved told him goodbye, and told him not to do anything stupid.

Which Fai knew meant not to kill himself.

Promise? He'd asked.

And because it was Kurogane's dying wish, Fai, with tears in his eyes, had promised.

Kurogane told him and Syaoran and Mokona to look after each other.

And then he died too.

It was the end of life as Fai had known it.

He'd fallen into depression, and he wasn't alone. For weeks, neither he, nor Syaoran, nor even Mokona, would come out of the rooms that Sakura's grieving family had granted them.

He kept his promise. Somehow, the wizard who had before long wished to die, and was certifiably suicidal, managed not to kill himself.

He'd thought about it, again and again.

But he had promised.

It had been Kurogane's last wish.

His wish was that Kurogane had killed him right then, as he'd promised he'd do, If you want to die so badly, I'll kill you myself. Until then, live, and spared him all this pain.

Fai hadn't known then, what path he was going to walk on. Really, he'd thought he'd never be able to walk again.

He thought he'd never love again.

But maybe he was wrong.

And maybe he was right.

All the way up until the end, he had never known for sure.

Well, there you have it, it's going to be a mini series.

Nothing with serious plot, though, just a lot of angst, I think.

Chapter one was all exposition, clearly.

Thanks to any who read it, I appreciate it. Even if you didn't like it, and won't stick around, I appreciate you giving it a chance. I've already written out the first three chapters, so I hope you'll read those too.