Spoot: Finally! Coffee!
Duo: Who loves ya baby!
Spoot: Wufei…
Duo: Why do you hurt me like this…
Requiem
"Why the fuck would I wanna go to someone funeral if they're not gunna go to mine!" Duo snapped as he was being shoved into a car. Wufei used his foot this time to get him in all the way. Duo yelped and fell back, head landing in Trowa's lap. He rolled and looked up at the other man. Trowa looked down blankly. Duo smiled, reaching up and putting a finger in the other man's nose. Trowa didn't even react to this usual behavior. Duo stayed like that for a moment then pulled his finger out and inspected it. It was clean so he tucked his arms into his chest, cuddling up with Trowa's leg and torso. He took a deep breath, enjoying the comfort.
The drive was somewhat boring due to the slow pace and the gray skies. Duo watched the world outside the window stop from his spot in Trowa's lap. He frowned and sat up; noticing Heero had stopped the car and shut everything off. Were they already there? Heero turned and eyed the idiot. "No fart sounds, no Jack in the box noises, no singing Highway to Hell…and do not touch the widow…"
"What kinda guy do you ta-really…not even a little poke?"
"Nothing, do you understand." Heero instructed. Duo nodded with an eye roll. No one ever let him have any fun. And what did it matter anyway? The guy was just some random coworker. No one special. And just thinking about the way the shmuck had died…was just ripe with material to use. I mean, who trips on wooden legs and breaks their head open on a glass dildo? Who?! If he couldn't make some kind of joke or ruckus…he was gunna pop.
They got out of the car and all headed for the hill the funeral was being held. Quatre walked up behind Duo and pat his shoulder. He sniffled a bit and wiped his nose. "I'm never any good with these things…I feel like I'm about to just…burst…"
"Yeah I know the feeling." Duo muttered in a sulky way. He hated being stifled. He really did have some good material to work with, but knew, if he opened his mouth today, he would lose lips. He looked to Quatre and smiled a bit and pat his back. "You gunna make it?" Quatre smiled to him and gave him a nod. Wufei approached the two and eyed Duo, making a face. Quatre latched onto his lover and waved Duo off as the two walked on ahead. Trowa was behind, looking around slowly at the headstones, taking in the beauty of it all.
Duo turned and watched him for a moment then approached him. "Hey…you gunna join us or…do you wanna get outta here…go get burgers or something…" Trowa looked to him, snapping out of his little haze. "You ate before we left…you're kind of a pig you know."
"I know." He gestured with his head for Trowa to follow him and the two headed to the gathering. Heero looked up, watching them closely, knowing what trouble the two could get into when together as they were. He waited for them to join then looked back down at the man resting peacefully in the coffin. Trowa eyed the body and tilted his head. "He's wearing lipstick." He observed. Duo sniggered, fighting the laugh. Quatre looked up at them and held a finger to his lips, shooting them a scolding mother look.
The two lowered their heads, but looked to each other with their eyes, both smiling a bit in reaction to Trowa's morbidly humorous observation. The preacher stood before everyone at this point, held his hands, and began the usual speech. Occasionally, when god or any other religious trop was brought up, the two troublemakers would snort or look to each other with big stupid grins. Heero looked up for a moment and spotted a look the two were exchanging. He shut it down by elbowing Duo in the side. The said man shot him a hate filled look then reluctantly acted right.
The service was done, and most of the family had headed for the little church. Quatre grabbed Wufei and started to drag him along, stopping to look at the group. "You wanna join us?" He called out. Heero opted to do just that, no longer wanting to be out in the chilly weather. Trowa just ignored the blonde and Duo responded with, "If I step foot in that church something is catching fire…" To which, Trowa found amusing. With that, the two troublemakers were left alone with a dead body…
Duo picked up a stick and handed it to Trowa. "Wanna poke it?" He asked with a chuckle. Trowa took it and looked to him in confusion. "That's disrespectful though…." As he was speaking, he poked the body without looking. Duo watched this and smiled big. Finding twisted people was rare. "So, did you hear how the dude died…he was cheating on his wife with this stripper…she had two wooden legs…you can't make this shit up…" Trowa looked to the body and jabbed it again, causing air to escape from an orifice. Both men looked to each other and broke out in a fit of laughter. Trowa…had caused the body to fart….and this was funny to them.
"Let me see…" Duo took the stick, carefully put it to the man's chin, and began to work it so it looked as though his jaw was moving. "Damn, those beans really get ya." Duo spoke in a weird deep voice, making the body puppet him. Trowa looked giddy, like a child at a puppet show. "Hey mister! Now that you're dead, do you plan on haunting a house?" He asked playfully. "You bet'cha kiddo!" Duo said in that voice then laughed. "What am I doing…" He tossed the stick and looked to Trowa with a warm smile. Trowa looked to him with a laugh then settled when he saw Duo's face. "What…"
"Nothing, you're just cute when you laugh."
"That's not true…" Trowa said softly as he looked away, down to the body. Duo shrugged. He tried, that was good enough for the day he guessed. It was hard to romance Trowa honestly. He tried every so often and Trowa just shrugged him off or ignored him. Duo looked back down at the body and smirked. He had a quick idea. "You lookin' at my man?" He snapped. Trowa looked up at him in shock. "What's that bro? Oh?! You wanna go!" He was arguing with a dead guy…and Trowa found that to be the most…romantic thing…they were fighting over him…
He covered his eyes when Duo grabbed the body by it's collar, shaking it. "No please! It's not worth it! Leave him alone Duo!" Trowa cried out suddenly. Duo let the body drop back down like a sack of tools and turned to Trowa. "You want him don't you? That's it isn't it! I'm nothing to you!"
"You're everything to me!"
Duo gasped at this, he had been joking honestly, some harmless…odd flirting…but Trowa…took him by surprise. "I…am?" He asked in a state of shock. Trowa nodded slowly. "I'm sorry if I made you jealous…" He said softly then smiled, "Forgive me?" Duo chuckled and swung an arm around Trowa's shoulders. "Yeah I forgive ya…don't sweat it." He said, giving Trowa's neck a squeeze, pulling him down a bit to mess up his hair. That was what he had planned to do anyway, but instead, Trowa kissed him. It was a quick peck on the lips, but it did the job. The two quickly let go of each other and stood side by side awkwardly. They both looked down at the body, avoiding each other. It was quiet a bit then Trowa reached over and jabbed the corpse, causing some more gas to escape. Both boys looked to each other…and laughed.
Spoot: YAY!
Duo: ok, I like it…
Spoot: Meaning you didn't at first…
Duo: *Throws stick* FETCH!
Spoot: Really….