Revelations

He stared up at the clock, it seemed to tick slower and slower with every passing minute. And Sasuke couldn't help but grow frustrated, his teeth grinding together as the minute hand appeared to take an eternity to move, it was so close to the end of the day! It was Friday, that meant two whole days without being surrounded by the idiots he called classmates.

As if on cue, there was a small popping sound at the front of the class, a large plume of white dust shrouding their Sensei. "HAHAHAHAHA! You didn't see the firecracker I put in your board eraser did you Iruka-sensei!" one of Sasuke's fellow classmates loudly cheered. "NARUTO!" Iruka yelled as the dust cleared revealing a very irate scarred Chūnin. He'd gone to wipe the writing off the blackboard when the eraser had gone off in his hand, showering him in chalk powder.

Sasuke closed his eyes, again grit his teeth and tried his best to ignore it. "You're such an idiot Naruto-baka! Isn't that right Sasuke-kun?"

'Oh how could I forget, Naruto's not the only one who annoys me,' he thought. "Hn," was his actual reply. The only reason he replied at all was because if he didn't she might continue talking to him. And his afternoon was already tedious enough waiting for that damn clock to decide it was time to leave without Sakura's shrill, irritating voice making it worse.

He looked up at the clock again, not even a minute had passed since he'd last gazed upon it, there was barely ten minutes to go. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced the clock was deliberately toying with him, slowing down and speeding up time at it saw fit, its primary purpose to make his day as miserable as possible.

And goodness gracious did that final ten minutes drag its feet, the clock desperately exhausting every possible excuse it could before finally relenting and ticking over to 3:15 pm. 'Finally!' he almost cheered in his head as the bell rang.

"Alright then class, that's it for this week. I'll see you all on Monday, remember to practice as much as you can, especially on your Jutsu. Your graduation exams are only a few weeks away now," Iruka reminded them as he continued trying to pat the chalk dust off his outfit. "As for you Naruto, come here!" he darkly ordered the energetic blonde.

'The graduation exams,' He thought as he exited the classroom. They held two positives for young Sasuke, firstly they meant he'd be rid of the Academy and secondly he'd be one step closer to achieving his ultimate goal.

Before he could too deeply descend into the brooding that was primarily dominated by him imagining ever more elaborate ways to kill his sole surviving relative his attention was pulled behind him to that ever annoying voice.

"Do you fancy walking me home, Sasuke-kun?"
"No," he bluntly replied. She always did this, it may not have been daily, not anymore at least, but every Friday without fail. 'Now, where's the other half?'

"Oh - err, ok. Do you wanna go on a date with me?"
'And there it is.' He groaned which was immediately followed by another, "No."

He wasn't facing her so he didn't see the dejected look on her face as he continued walking. "Well what did you expect forehead? We both know that Sasuke-kun prefers blondes," a second female voice antagonised the pink haired girl. "Oh what do you know Ino-pig!" she hotly retorted.

And just like that yet another argument broke out between the two former friends, as Sasuke picked up the pace so as to limit the time he'd have to listen to their incessant screeching.

-(*)-

"Finally," he quietly said to himself. It took him nearly a minute to get out of earshot of them, how they could both be so loud mystified him, their voices seemed to carry an impossibly long distance but it mattered not now, they were gone and Sasuke could return to what he did best; brooding.

If Sasuke's vocabulary could be summarized by the word 'silence' then his personality could be summarised by 'Brooding'. He did it constantly, wherever he went, whatever he did, his mind wandered. Wandered to memories of the one who'd destroyed his life and thoughts of just how he'd exact his vengeance.

That day, when he'd journeyed home from the Academy, when he'd walked through the silent streets of the Uchiha compound. Just like he was now in fact, just like he'd done almost every day since.

Silence. Rows upon rows of houses utterly empty, devoid of occupants, called home by no one. The bodies may have been buried and the blood wiped away but it was as if their spirits still inhabited the buildings, the air hung heavy with a sense of gloom. Most had avoided the compound since, the occasional ANBU squad seeking a shortcut across town seemed the only exception. Once a large sprawling complex of streets, now almost totally abandoned.

And it showed, the paths were in desperate need of de-weeding, houses were beginning to look ragged, the paint was becoming discoloured and peeling, exposed wood showed the early signs of rot, moss spread across the faces of intricate stone sculptures. Even the leaves on the trees seemed to hold a brown, unhealthy tint here.

It was inescapable for Sasuke, he only had to step outside to be reminded of that night.

But that paled in significance really as he walked up towards his front door, it paled because he only had to wake up to be reminded of what happened. His very existence served as a reminder.

He still lived in the same house, unlocking the door he stepped inside. Walking through the rooms of the single-story building, he still ate in the same kitchen, slept in the same bedroom, his parent's room was untouched except for when he did housework.

Itachi's room he hadn't even stepped into. And he'd taken action to ensure neither he nor anyone else would. He'd put a large lock on the door and nailed several wooden boards over the door and the outside of the window ensuring no one could get in. And finally at the end of the corridor was his bedroom.

He dumped his bag on the floor and flopped down on the bed, tucking his hands behind his head he stared up at the ceiling. His mind playing with the concept of cutting off limbs with nothing more than Ninja wire. 'How would you cut through the bone? Heat the wire? No, it would lose its structural strength…'

This was how Sasuke passed the time, he didn't have hobbies per se, but that wasn't to say his imagination was underutilised.

The afternoon passed into early evening and Sasuke was undisturbed. So much so he eventually fell asleep. Sleep was something Sasuke didn't welcome, it was when his eyes closed that his memories became even more vivid.

Walking home in the early evening, the streets devoid of anyone.

Walking into an utterly silent home.

Sliding open the door to find a shadowy figure standing over the bodies of his parents

Discovering that shadowy figure was his Nii-san.

Being subjected to those eyes, those menacing pinwheels

Those pinwheels, of everything they haunted him the most. It was through those eyes he had been forced to watch his parents murdered over and over again. But it wasn't just images, there were words too.

"You have been Jealous of me, and you have hated me. You've continuously aimed to surpass me. Because of that, I will allow you to live for my sake."

*Dark Chuckle*, "Foolish Otouto…"

"If you wish to kill me, then hate me, detest me for I have taught you to hate. Live a long miserable life immersed solely in your hatred of me. Run, run little Otouto and cling to that misery lest it leave you weak and powerless."

"And when a day comes that your eyes resemble mine, seek me out, track me down and come before me and test your hatred against my own."

'Test your hatred against my own.'

"ITACHI!" Sasuke screamed as he woke with a start. His heartbeat was frenetic and his breathing erratic. Sweat rolled down his forehead, his hair was sodden and his shirt clung to him. He felt constricted by it and he panicked, he desperately grabbed at it, he had to get it off. He rolled around, he'd managed to pull it up to his neck as he fell off his bed.

Landing on the floor with a thud he finally got the shirt over his head, quickly pulling his arms out of the saturated piece of clothing he scrunched it up into a ball and hurled it across the room. Scurrying backwards till his back was flush against the wall he tucked his legs in and wept.

Nearly an hour of muffled sobbing passed before he finally ran out of tears. If someone had been present they'd of occasionally heard Sasuke hoarsely whisper a single word, "Why?"

This wasn't the first time this had happened, it came in spurts. Nothing for a month or two then two or three would follow in quick succession in as many weeks.

Finally lifting his head he realised how cold he was. This time of year was still slightly chilly during the nights and he'd been without a shirt for going on an hour, and in addition parts of his black three quarters were sodden with sweat and his tears.

Dragging himself to his feet he walked down the hall to the bathroom, pulling off the rest of his outfit as he went he dropped them in a hamper and turned on the shower.

The few moments it took for the water to heat up seemed to drag as he stood there shivering. When the steam started permeating the room he near threw himself under the heated stream of water, just as he had in his room he sat on the floor and brought his legs in and just let the water fall on him.

He stared blankly at the bathroom tiles lining the shower. The last words his brother had spoken to him repeating in his mind.

'Test your hatred against my own.'

There was something about those six words that sounded off to Sasuke, maybe it was because he'd cried himself out so his emotions weren't subjugating his ability to evaluate. 'My hate against his? Is he trying to make me be like him?' He knew Itachi was a very reserved and insular personality, and with a mind cleared of its emotional cloud Sasuke realised he was too, even more so in fact.

Itachi was a cold and malicious person… So was Sasuke. Itachi cared for no one other than himself and… So did Sasuke. Itachi would go to any lengths to test himself no matter the cost and… Sasuke would go to any lengths to kill Itachi, no matter the cost.

These sudden revelations all rebounded around the confines of his mind, each amplifying the other until it sounded more like a series of overlapping screams.

Then nothing. His mind went silent and then his eyes widened and Sasuke had his epiphany. He was almost identical to his brother. If someone had made such a comparison to him he'd have vehemently denied it but it was true. Itachi's actions and Itachi's words had turned Sasuke into a younger version of him, brimmed with animosity and hate.

'This I cannot allow! I cannot and will not ever be like Itachi.' He mentally declared, 'But what exactly does it mean?' The voice in his mind growing quiet.

Sasuke, when he wasn't blinded by his hatred was a naturally intelligent person and with his emotions suppressed he could put that mind to work.

He began what would end up being a full review of his person. Starting with his general attitude it would spread to encompass every aspect of his life, past and present, every memory would be reviewed. What he found was not to his liking.

One of the memories that stuck out was of a discussion between himself and Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage. It took place in the elderly man's office a few weeks after the massacre.

*Flashback*

"Sasuke-kun, have you yet decided what will become of the Uchiha compound as a whole?"
"Hn," he darkly replied. The Sandaime sighed, the boy had almost seized up. The first few days he'd been overcome by grief but that seemed to have passed and it had been replaced by a dark wave of enmity.

"No one can live there except you, Sasuke-kun. It's clan grounds so only recognised Uchiha's and individuals permitted by the clan leader can live there of which there are none. It's just you." Sasuke turned his eyes on the Hokage, even now just the mention of his family name was enough to stir his interest.

"What are you trying to say?" he bluntly asked. Hiruzen took a breath and sighed. "Straight to the point I see, very well. I'm asking if you wish to keep a hold of all the Uchiha clans holdings within the village." Sasuke narrowed his eyes, "Why?" he coldly asked, in his mind the old man was attempting to wrest control of space within the village that was rightfully his families.

Again the Sandaime sighed, "The land is owned by your family so it's upkeep is paid for from clan coffers, and that is overseen by the clan. The village as a whole plays no part in…"
"Get to the point!" he angrily snapped. This time it was Hiruzen's turn to narrow his eyes. "It means that the Uchiha compound will fall into a state of disrepair, weeds will sprout in paths and unmaintained buildings will weaken until they eventually just start falling apart."

*End Flashback*

He had never answered, he'd stopped paying attention by the time the Sandaime had finished talking.

"Maybe I should probably do something about that," he said as he pulled a fresh shirt on. He had seen the weeds begin to sprout on the edges of paths, the paint peeling from house fronts. It was just as the Sandaime had said but Sasuke had completely ignored it. Had he truly been so blinded?

He decided he would take a walk around the entire compound to help keep him thinking because he was tired. He'd been awake most of the night, his rude awakening had been in the early hours, he'd spent an hour weeping. That was followed by hours just sitting on the shower stall floor, in fact he'd been in there for so long he'd run out of hot water. So long that the first rays of morning light were just beginning to peak over the trees and through the windows.

He stepped out his front door just as the sun rose over the horizon, some people would see that as a sign. For Sasuke it meant he'd be able to see just what the Sandaime had described in great detail.

He hadn't even left his own front garden when he came across the first signs of it. His Kaa-chan's flowerbeds, once meticulously kept, where once only flowers full of colour once grew, was now choked with weeds and wild grass, any flowers had long since been buried by the invading flora and suffocated of light. The multiple lawns were overgrown and patchy. The low wooden fence surrounding the garden looked scruffy, some of it buried in the grass.

It didn't bode well for everywhere else but nevertheless Sasuke continued. And he became more and more funereal as he saw more of the compound. Nowhere seemed immune, it was all suffering from disrepair.

"I will have to make a decision soon, it doesn't seem right to just let it all rot away," he said as he re-entered his home. He'd been out for some time, it was late morning by now.

He had intended to go to bed, he had been dragging his feet towards the end of his tour. But a loud growl from his stomach told him it had other ideas so he stopped halfway up the corridor, spun around and willed himself to the fridge.

He didn't have the energy left to prepare or cook anything so he looked through the shelves for a quick fix. Nothing really took his eye until he spied something tucked away on the top shelf. It was rectangular in shape and dull yellow in colour, he picked it up. It was of course a block of cheese and of course very soon it was all gone.

With his hunger satiated for the time being he slowly made his way to his bed, he didn't get chance to pull back the sheets, nor had he changed them from the night before the stench of sweat still hung heavily in the room but despite that he just collapsed onto them and was out before his head landed on the pillow.

-(*)-

Many Hours later

An eye peered open, shutting again immediately as the bright light assaulted his retina. 'Why is it so bright? The sun would have set by now surely?' He couldn't tell the time via a clock, there wasn't a single one in the house. It was a few minutes before he tried opening his eyes again and this time he took precautions by holding a hand in front of his face.

Even with the hand he had to blink a few times while his pupils adapted. He came to one conclusion without much fuss, it was brighter than a few minutes earlier. "Is it really morning?" he wondered aloud. It would mean he'd slept through what remained of yesterday morning, the afternoon, the evening and the entire night. "That's like 18 hours, I think."

As it had done for months now, when he awoke it took a few seconds to kick in but the ever-present hate boiling inside him welled up once more. As it did he remembered the revelations of yesterday, immediately pushing themselves to the front of his mind… and the anger receded, like water down a drain.

It felt… almost surreal, as if someone had taken a rucksack full of rocks off his back, he felt so 'light', so calm, tranquil even. For the first time in almost a year Sasuke felt something akin to peaceful. 'I like this feeling,' he thought with a smile – an actual, genuine smile.

His good mood, however, was interrupted by his emotions, it was not anger but sadness that washed over him, he couldn't stop the few errant tears that paved the way for more. It wasn't until mid-morning and after another shower that he calmed down again.

When Itachi had slaughtered all but one of the Uchiha clan Sasuke had spent the first few days gripped by sorrow but that had soon given way to anger and fury. That sorrow had never completely run its course, it meant Sasuke hadn't fully come to terms with the heartache and the despair of losing his parents and his brother betraying him, he hadn't fully mourned their loss.

When he'd again recovered his composure he found he needed to change his shirt yet again, he could feel the front was damp even if the black colour hid any possible discolouration. "May as well do the laundry," he muttered picking up the hamper. The first thing collected was the bedding.

Having made his way to the utility room he threw clothes one at a time into the washing machine. He got halfway through before he realised something, everything was either black/ grey or a dull navy blue, except the shorts which were bizarrely enough, white. Cocking an eyebrow he queried himself, "Are these the only colours I have for clothes?"

That surely couldn't be right, he abandoned the half-filled washing machine and walked back to his room and threw open his wardrobe, "Oh, everything is only those three colours… Why? I know black is one of the clan colours but I'd never liked it that much.." This brought several more questions to mind, amongst them being, 'What colours did he like?'

He made a decision right there, it was an impulsive one but one he nevertheless felt would be a positive step for the new him. He was going to get a new wardrobe and there was only one thing he was certain of.

No Orange!

End Chapter

This and the second chapter used to be one giant chapter but given the major tone shift it seemed sensible to split it in two, that and combined they total 10,000 words.