A/N: Okay so this is my first ever story on here, and it was inspired by a mini shot I had sent to a group chat just to torture them, and then it turned out my dear friend Katy wanted more. So this is for you Katy, I hope this story is all you want it to be and more. I also hope I don't break too many hearts with this one shot. I own none of the characters but the ones I created. Dick Wolf owns the rest.
"I cannot wait to meet you, you precious angel."
Olivia whispered to her belly bump, rubbing it gently. As she sat across from the beautiful park, that Noah had begged her to stop at on her way home from the hospital. Olivia, having a soft heart for her begging child, giving her the puppy eyes, how could she say no? So they had stopped, and it didn't take long for Noah to jump out of the car, running towards the swing set. Olivia yelling out to him to be careful, it was routine by now, she had let her eyes off him for a second last month and Noah ended up falling off the monkey bars, landing them in the emergency room with a broken wrist. Along with Cassidy being the first one to sign the cast with "that's my boy" But a broken wrist didn't put fear into her little boy, he was going at it stronger than ever. And it made her nervous.
Like any caring mother.
She still couldn't believe that she had finally become a mother to a boy who she would do anything in the world for, who she loved more than anything in this world, and is about to become a mother to a little baby girl. Who she had always wanted, ever since she started her job at SVU. She had taken been forced to take her leave, she didn't mind considering her feet and back killed her all day long. Also more time to spend with Noah and Brian. She needed more time with Brian, more than anything. He had taken over night shifts at the court house and it seemed like they never saw each other. It felt like the only time she had with him nowadays, was when he snuck into in the early hours of the morning. But he had promised her he would take the weekend off and come with her and Noah to the hospital. But, where was he right now? You guessed it. He got a call last minute, and had to take a shift.
"Mommy mommy! Look at what I can do!" Noah yelled, as he hung upside down by his legs on the monkey bars.
"Noah honey be careful! Please!" She yelled, feeling her anxiety go through the roof.
Noah just laughed, as he jumped down and ran up the jungle gym almost knocking a kid to the side, and slid down the side. "God, it's like he loves to scare the shit outta me." Olivia whispered to herself, as she checked her phone for texts. Brian had sent her one, he was on the way. He had gotten off early.
A smile spread across her face as she texted him to be careful. She couldn't wait to tell him the good news, that they were having baby girl.
Olivia looked up to see the sky had grown dark, and the wind picked up, and Noah was nowhere in sight.
"NOAH!" she yelled, pushing herself off the park bench, walking over to the jungle gym still to see no Noah.
"NOAH! NOAH!" she began to yell again, panic spread through her like wildfire.
"BOOO!" he yelled as he jumped out from underneath the little gym, with a smile plastered across his face.
"NOAH," she screamed. "You scared me, don't you ever do that again! Do you understand me?!" Olivia yelled, as Noah's eyes started to get watery.
"Honey, don't cry, you just scared mommy. I thought something bad happened to you." She cooed as she bent down to his level, as he wrapped his arms around her neck.
"I'm sorry mommy, I won't do it again. I love you." He sobbed into her shoulder.
"It's okay, I love you too baby. More than-" Olivia was cut off by 6 or 7 loud bangs. With echoed screams and cries all around her. Everything stopped. Panic swept through the park, Olivia's first instinct was to shield her little ones. The adrenaline was pumping through her veins so fast she didn't have time to notice the pain in her stomach, and her shoulder. Until now.
The pain burned through her, she knew the worst.
She was shot. Twice.
And Blood, oh god so much blood.
Noah still clung to her, as she fell to the ground. All this blood couldn't be hers, and that's what scared her most. "Noah? Noah?" she yelled, "Noah please dear god please be okay." She kept repeating to herself, as she slowly pealed her son off her, and noticed the bullet that had hit her shoulder, had gone all the way through and hit Noah.
He wasn't smiling anymore.
He wasn't telling her he loved her anymore.
He wasn't moving.
He wasn't crying.
He wasn't doing anything.
"NOAH, NOAH NO PLEASE NO NO NO! PLEASE GOD TAKE ME INSTEAD" she yelled, as she clang onto his lifeless body, crying. Yelling. Cursing the world.
Then more pain, her stomach. God the pain in her stomach. She screamed for Brian, hoping he would come. Hoping he would hear her. But after a while, he didn't come.
He didn't come.
She felt herself go numb, her vision started in and out. It was getting harder for her to breathe.
This was it. She was going to die. She never thought she would go out like this, after all her years on the force, she never expected to die from a drive by. She never expected her son to get shot and killed in a drive by. She never expected this. She feared this, but never expected it to happen to her. Never in a million years.
But here she is. Laying under a jungle gym, bleeding to death, along with her two little ones she loved more than anything in the world.
"God, please don't take them. Take me. Take me." She whispered, as she started coughing up a little blood. She looked over at Noah, all the life drained out of him. She knew in her heart, she knew there wouldn't be anything to do for him.
You couldn't fix a bullet to the head.
It wasn't long until the sirens started blaring, blue and red lights poured through the park, as Olivia laid with her son. Still holding him, muttering words to herself, eventually to become silent herself.
Brian rushed to the scene, and what he saw made him fall and crumble to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as he saw his wife and son being zipped up in body bags.
This couldn't be right.
This has to be a dream.
This wasn't his life.
This wasn't his family.
He stood, his actions uncontrolled. He ran over to the stretchers, pleading the paramedics to let him have a moment. Just please god, let him have a moment. His shaking hands slowly unzipped the black bag, reveling Olivia's color drained face, her hair even looked drained. This couldn't be her.
No. This wasn't his wife. His wife had beautiful brown eyes, a smile that would make a room go quiet. His wife had the personality that everyone inspired to have, that everyone thrived to be around.
This wasn't his wife. He didn't know who this woman was, that lay here. Cold, drained of everything.
Maybe if he said it enough he would believe it.
This wasn't his wife.
He grabbed her, hugged her, and sobbed onto her. She couldn't be gone, they were about to have a baby together. This couldn't be happening.
This couldn't be happening.
The paramedics forced him off her, and took them both in ambulance. They arrived at the hospital, where Olivia had visited just hours before. The doctors rushed Olivia's body back, and hours passed.
Well, what seemed like hours?
He waited in the waiting room, the waterfall from his eyes couldn't stop. How was he going to live without her?
He had begun thinking about all the times he could've been a better husband. A better partner. A better person towards her. He should've dropped everything when he heard she was pregnant.
God what he would do to look into her eyes one last time, and tell her how much he loved her.
He would give anything.
"Brian… what happened?!" he heard Fin yell, rushing around the corner with the rest of the crew.
"I.. I don't know… Some drive by… I wasn't there…. God I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE." He yelled, as he fell to his knees, while sobs echoed through the room.
"Please tell me she's okay." Nick swallowed, as he made eye contact with Brian. With just a glace he was given the answer.
"Noah…?" nick hesitated. As Brian shook his head no.
"No. No. No. That's not right. There's no way." Nick repeated.
Amanda had silent tears fall from her face, as she walked off sobbing down the hallway.
Fin sat down, putting his head in his hands, swearing under his breath. It was the first time any of the squad had saw him cry.
The silence was broken by the doctor, running over to the group as they all stood up, Brian speaking up. "Please tell me something good." He begged.
The doctors face said it all, as Brian began to cry again.
"We saved the baby. She's alive. We've got to stabilize her, but she's going to be okay… Cassidy…. I am so, so, sorry…" the doctor spoke lightly.
"It's a girl… Liv always wanted a girl…." Brian cried.
"Can I see her? Please let me see her." Brian pleaded.
"Okay but only for a moment. She was very premature, it's amazing that she's even alive."
The doctor let Brian see his little girl, as he walked through the doors, and saw her sitting in the basanite. He started to cry, she looked just like Olivia.
A few months later, the NYPD had helped put Olivia to rest, with Noah being buried right next to her. And still, after all these months, it still didn't feel real. Everyone was still in denial, and numb. Brian stood in all black, holding his beautiful baby girl, Olivia. He thought the name fit her, and he couldn't help that every time he looked at her, all he could see was Olivia. She was beautiful, her brown eyes, her brown hair, her cute face. All of it came from Olivia.
Now she will never get to meet her baby girl.
The baby girl she had longed for, for so many years.
This wasn't fair. None of this was.
But at least he had her, he had a piece of Olivia that would shine the brightest. He would tell her everything about her mom, he would show her pictures, along with having them hung all over the house. Olivia wouldn't grow up without knowing who her mother was, she would know exactly who she was, and how much she loved her, and now much she couldn't wait to meet her.
And how she had a big brother, always looking down on her, watching after her. Protecting her. And he would tell her how much Noah loved her, even before he met her. He would tell her how he would act when she would kick in Liv's stomach and Noah would sit and watch for hours. She would grow up knowing she had a loving mother, and a caring brother. Even if they were only here in spirit.
Brian looked up at the sky, with tears in his eyes.
"I won't let you down liv, I can already tell she's gonna be just like you-"he chuckled a bit
"Like the world needs another Olivia Benson, god you would kill me for naming her after you." He let his head down, as tears fell from his eyes. Falling on baby Olivia's head, waking her up. She looked up at him with her beautiful brown eyes, and smiled.
"God she looks just like you Liv. Just like you."
As Brian walked from the burial site, he couldn't help but to smile. It was almost like a weight had been lifted off him. He could hear Liv's words echo in his head.
"You're going to be a great father, especially the way you are with Noah." he looked down at Olivia, she was still smiling up at him.
"Let me tell you, your mother was the strongest person I knew…" he started as Olivia looked up at him with those big brown eyes of hers.
"And she loves you, more than anything in this world."