Itachi. Sex. Sasuke. Story.
Characters © Kishimoto.
Line © Dane Cook.
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Twelve-year-old Itachi Uchiha was doing his daily chores, doing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, and then went out to train.
"…and so a tire hit her in the face!"
"What?!"
"Yeah, she was killed because a TIRE hit her in the FACE!" Sasuke laughed.
"How can you say that without laughing? Anyway, see you later." Itachi stared at his younger brother.
"Hi Itachi!"
"What the hell was that?"
"Oh, he was just telling me what happened at this one thing."
"Okay…anyway, can you go tell mom and dad I'm out here training?"
"Sure."
In the bedroom…
"Mom? Dad?" Sasuke heard moaning in the room, and was wondering if they were alright.
He slowly opened the door…
And stared.
Wide-eyed and curious this young, non-emo Sasuke looked, but left soon after.
"What was that?"
Back at Itachi…
"Itachi! Itachi! Mom and Dad were doing something…weird." He looked at his brother, always hoping he got this from the internet and he didn't have to explain it.
"Uh…Sasuke…" Oh god, he thought. How the hell was he supposed to do this?
"Well Sasuke, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much-…"
Three Hours later…
"Sasuke! Come out of your room!"
"NO! I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED!"
"What the hell, Itachi! He was supposed to learn this when he was seventeen! Not five!" His mom yelled at their older son.
"Look, he saw you guys, uh…doing 'Afternoon Delight'! Please tell me how I'm supposed to explain the damn thing to him!"
"Internet."
"But that doesn't really help at all!"
"Uh…wow. Yeah…good luck with that." Itachi banged his head against the door. His family sucked sometimes.
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And so, Sasuke eventually learned how to do that.
And THAT'S why he REALLY wants to kill Itachi.
The whole killing the family thing?
Nope.
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Review. Flame. Critique. I don't care. Lub you all.