Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fresh Tv. I own nothing but my original characters.
~A/N~ No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is indeed a new story from Foreseer44, and it's another competition fic. I know I have one going on already with Round Trip, but this is an idea I've been tossing around for a while that I couldn't just ignore, and with my 2nd anniversary coming up, I couldn't not do this.
First of all, this story does contain mostly characters of my own creation. This is NOT a SYOC story, so no auditioning is needed. If I'm writing about original characters, I want them to be my own and with no ties to the readers. Only I know my characters, and only you know yours. I'm not being mean. It's just my stance on this kind of stuff. ;)
Second of all, there are TD characters here. Four to be exact, much like the first season. I can't promise that everyone will be happy about who I picked, but I have my reasons.
Third, this season will be 13 episodes long, not 26. There are only 12 teams and I wanted to make sure no one gets left behind while also making sure no plots go on forever this time. That was my main issue with season one, so I'm hoping to test a shorter format with this project.
Lastly, I hope you all enjoy. It's going to be a wild ride. :)
CAST PHOTO: foreseer44. deviantart art/Foreseer-s-TDRR2-Cast-Coming-April-26th-596364407 (Fill in the blanks or just check out my DA because links are a bitch.)
Episode 1: Race of Heathens
(The Ridonculous Race logo appears on screen for a second before disappearing in a flash.)
The Toronto skyline was covered in a rainy mist, painting it ghostly grey. Drops of dew gathered on every surface, tripping up the occasional pedestrian. Lake Ontario was bursting with swirls, created by early risen fish hungry for a meal. A small yacht streamed across the surface and cast a wake of mist into the air.
A handsome, middle-aged man stood on the bow, akimbo and confident. His light brown hair and pale green jacket blew back in the breeze as the boat centered in on the Toronto lake shore in the shadow of the CN Tower.
"This is Toronto, heart of Canada, and center of this humble nation. As I speak, twelve teams of two are arriving at the CN Tower for the adventure of a lifetime. Over the next month, they'll be racing across the globe, experiencing the cultures, wonders, and dangers of this world. I'm your host, Don, and this is..." The camera zoomed in on the host's chiseled face and she flashed a smile. "The Ridonculous Race!"
A view of the world from space fades in as a yellow beam of light traces around the globe.
Don pops up and the camera zooms in on the Earth, racing through clouds until a white flash ends the journey.
A giant travel tip appears in the foreground and turns into three lanes, one red, one, yellow, and one green. Four silhouette teams race down each lane with the top and bottom lanes going right and the center going left.
In lane one: a large girl and a lanky male running awkwardly, two skinny males with baggy clothes, a male and female in boots and cowboy hats, a tall male running next to a short male.
In lane two: a wide-hipped girl with large hair and a skinny girl with a longer neck carrying a purse, two bulky men with huge upper bodies, a male and female with skinny frames and perfect figure, a man and woman with huge coats running with their hands out to their sides, curved at the elbows.
In lane three: a fat guy and a skinny guy, two pudgy women with thick thighs, two average sized women wearing hats, two skinny girls in t-shirts and jeans.
The lanes turn ninety degrees and show a bus, a plane, and a train in each column.
A taxi stops on screen and opens the door. The team pictures fly on screen and form three rows of four in the same order from their lanes.
The screen cuts to black...
Don docked the yacht and jumped ship, landing on the wooden pier. As he made his way to concrete, he looked into the camera. "Welcome to season two of The Ridonculous Race. It's time to meet the 12 teams who will embark on the journey of a lifetime." He stopped in front of the CN Tower as taxis and buses roared to a halt alongside the sidewalk.
"Clint and Annie: Dating Cow-Folk..."
A cowboy and a cowgirl, both in their late teens exited the bus and gave each other romantic stares. Clint wore a plaid button-up with a red and white pattern, a white hat, tattered jeans, and snake-skin boots. Annie wore the same outfit, but with a blue and white plaid shirt instead. They pecked a kiss and smiled, looking into each other's eyes.
Confessional: Cow-Folk
Clint takes a break from looking into his girl's eyes and looks to the camera. "Annie and I met in middle school," he says with a slight southern drawl. "We were both into Ag. classes and things just happened... and our mommas liked us. Now we're the closest pair in history. Sometimes we do ropin' on the weekends, sometimes we hit the lake, but it's always me and Annie, all day, everyday."
Annie blushes and hugs her boyfriend. "We're perfect. I ain't never givin' you up, baby. That's why we'll win this thing, no doubt."
End Confessional: Cow-Folk
A taxi opened and two middle-aged women stepped out.
"Tracy and Betty: Lunch Ladies..."
Tracy wore a red bandana over her greying curly hair. Her t-shirt was solid grey while her pants were cargo camo. She wore combat boots that looked worn and aged. Betty was much less radical. Her hair was dark brown and short. She wore a pink sweater and grey yoga pants that were a little too small in certain areas. Her feet were covered by plain old tennis shoes.
Confessional: Lunch Ladies
Tracy cracks her knuckles. "Y'never gonna see anotha' lunch lady like us," she says in a Boston accent. "I've been through the war, and Betty here's been through six childbirths, two without pain killa'."
"We're not your typical elementary school cafeteria workers," Betty chuckles. "You can count on that. By day, we serve crud; by night, we hit the gym. Ha!"
End Confessional: Lunch Ladies
A pair of familiar faces arrived at the foot of the tower. One was a big-boned black teen with a long weave and a booty like no other. The other was a lanky ginger teen in glasses with a body like a pencil.
"LeShawna and Harold: The Dream Team..."
Confessional: Dream Team
LeShawna clocks her head. "That's right, baby! LeShawna's in the house! Ain't nobody but us winnin' this season."
Harold adjusts his glasses. "We were on Total Drama and lost three times each, so we joined this show to make up for it. My bodacious LeShawna and I shall not taste defeat again!" He does a karate chop and accidentally huts the camera guy to his right who responds with an "Ow!"
End Confessional: Dream Team
Two black guys stepped off the bus. Both had baggy jeans, grey hoodies with their initials, and green beanies along with stylish dreads. One was tall and lanky while the other was shorter and chubby.
"Bobby-Z and Shark Attack: The Rappers..."
Confessional: Rappers
Bobby-Z grabs his gold chain and holds it out to the camera. "See this Canada? This is what hard work gets 'ya! Two years of sweatin' in the studio, workin' two jobs each, and goin' to school gets ya' somewhere, and we're the proof."
Shark Attack lets out a sigh. "Yeah, man. But we ain't doin' well in the charts though. We gotta get some sales."
Bobby-Z nods in agreement. "That's why we're here, bro. That's why we're here."
They share a hug.
End Confessional: Rappers
Two adults in fur coats and luxury attire stepped onto the street once the camera man placed a mat on the pavement.
"Eustace and Angelina: The Top One Percent"
Eustace was tall and handsome with slick, black hair. His face was clean shaven and free of blemishes. The tycoon wore a layer of mink skin around his chest and designer pants around his legs. The dark purple shirt he wore gave him a royal flair. His luxury shoes were like mirrors and reflected his smile.
Angelina was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. Her face was toned and obviously a result of millions of dollars spent on plastic surgery. She wore a silk vest and a red undershirt with a designer skirt around her waist. Her high heels clicked the ground she walked on.
Confessional: Top One Percent
Eustace takes a sip of wine. "Our closest acquaintances told us they we'd lose this race, but they shall be proven wrong by the end of this month when we return with yet another million."
Angelina cackles like a witch. "Yes, they said those peasants would beat us, the richest couple in all of Nova Scotia! Hilarious, no?"
"Quite, my dear" Eugene chuckles, taking another sip of wine. "Quite."
End Confessional: Top One Percent
Two girls walked up to the tower and smiled among the crowd.
"Valerie and Vicki: Samaritans..."
Valerie wore a baseball cap with her sunglasses perched on its brim. She had long locks of blonde curls dangling from her head and eyes that looked tired. Her sweater was light blue and had a big heart on it. Her jeans and shoes were plain and average.
Vicki wore a bandana around her head, encasing the top of her straight, brown hair. She wore glasses and had freckles while her face was pretty average to say the least. Her body was somewhat thick and encased by a green sweater with a heart, matching her friend's.
Confessional: Samaritans
Valerie smiles and puts her hand to her heart. "It's sooo great to be here. We love traveling and helping the less fortunate, and this show gives us an opportunity to do just that."
Vicki smiles as well. "Yeah, we'd be really sad if we didn't get a chance to help starving children in Africa or child laborers in China. It's our calling in life."
End Confessional: Samaritans
"Charlie and Mick: Professional Wrestlers..."
Two incredibly buff men exited the bus wearing nothing but matching workout shorts. Charlie was dark-skinned with tattoos across his arms and nappy hair on his head while Mick was fair-skinned with short, brown hair and a single tattoo of a jaguar on his arm.
Confessional: Wrestlers
Mick pumps some weights as Charlie flexes.
"We're the toughest guys this show will ever see," Mick says nonchalantly in his deep voice. "Five champ belts, seven broken noses, two cracked ribs, all child's play for us."
"Yeah," Charlie boasts. "Time to put those other teams in the headlock of the century. Count to ten and throw some chairs, 'cause Team Marlie's bringing these teams to their knees, tag-team style!"
End Confessional: Wrestlers
Anne Maria and Nicki: Jersey Chicks from, well, Jersey!"
Anne Maria we all know, but her friend, Nicki, was tall, slender, and endowed with the neck of a giraffe. For size reference, it was about the height of her head. Her hair was tied back in a bun. Her figure was stick-like. She carried a very fancy purse on her tanned arm and wore a red dress with a pink top underneath.
Confessional: Jersey Chicks
Anne Maria files her nails and sprays her hair with spray. "So, I don't, like, really wanna be here, but Nicki dragged me along. So yeah, blame her if I die on this show."
Nicki puts some powder on her face. "C'mon, gurl, lighten up. This show's gonna be great for our image. We might even meet a hot Brazilian guy! Eh? Sound like fun?"
"Total Drama was a waste'a my time," says the tan-in-a-can girl. "This show ain't no different. Just watch us get cheated out again, Nick!"
"Annie, you're worried 'bout nothin'," Nicki says. "Just have fun and relax, doll."
Anne Maria stares into the camera with a bitter expression.
End Confessional: Jersey Chicks
"Joel and Natalie: Anchors from your local news..."
Joel was dressed in a typical adventure outfit: cargo shorts, a plain blue t-shirt, sandals, and a watch. Oh, and perfect hair, combed up into the Tin-tin style. Natalie was a Latin beauty with brown curls in a ponytail and a thick waist. She wore a blue top and black jeans with sandals. Her face was somewhat pudgy, but still cute. Both were barely adults.
Confessional: Anchors
Joel whips out his camera and snaps a picture. "This just in: local anchors from Whatchimacallit win the million! Stand by for details. Now here's, Natalie with the weather report!"
Natalie smiles to the camera. "Our radar shows signs of precipitation... salty, bitter precipitation..."
Joel raises his brow. "Uh, they're crying, right? That's the joke? I wasn't sure if-"
Natalie slaps her forehead. "Joel, Joel, Joel..."
End Confessional: Anchors
"Drew and Jake: Brothers..."
Drew walked on screen. He was average and plain, but well dressed in a green sports t-shirt with the number four on it and white, polka dot basketball shorts. His black hair was combed back nicely and his glasses were clean of scratches.
The camera panned down and showed Jake waddling alongside his older brother, trying to keep up on account of his disorder. He was short at only four feet in height, but smiled brightly. He had short black hair and a goatee.
Confessional: Brothers
Jake rolls his eyes. "I know, I know," he says in a high pitched voice. "I'm a dwarf. That doesn't mean I can't go the distance with these strong teams."
"He's been called every name in the book," Drew says, patting his brother on the back. "Midget, Ewok, Munchkin, Shortround, all of them. He's stronger than almost everyone here, though."
"I didn't let it get me down," the dwarf says proudly. "Now I'm here with my brother and we're gonna win at all costs. I got something to prove, y'know. Big things come in small packages, so I think we'll do well... unless Drew screws it up."
Drew gets up and walks off.
End Confessional: Brothers
"Holly and Caitlyn: Pranksters..."
Don looked around and saw that the pranksters were nowhere to be seen. It didn't take long for the realization to hit him.
Out of nowhere, an egg flew out of thin air and struck Don in the chest, splattering his jacket with yolk. "And that's an extra twenty on the dry-cleaning bill..."
Holly and Caitlyn emerged from the alley behind Don and stood at the starring line. Holly was blonde and pale with a sideways baseball cap, a pink top, and blue skinny jeans. Caitlyn was dark-haired and Asian with short hair, a pink top, and black jeans. They high-fived and shimied past Don as the host sneered their way.
Confessional: Pranksters
Holly flashes a sign. "Yo, YouTube, it's Holly and Cait, here on season two of The Ridonculous Race. Thanks so much, you guys. The support has been amazing."
Cait smiles to the camera. "Two years ago, we never thought we'd end up being so big, and we have you to thank for all the likes, comments, and subscriptions to our show. When we win, we win for you guys. Ready to see us prank the world and-"
Don interrupts from the fourth wall. "Yeah, uh, this thing has enough commercials as is."
Holly throws another egg at the camera and Don screams.
"Not the jacket! Not the jacket!"
End Confessional: Pranksters
"And lastly, Sam and Kenny: Professional Gamers..."
Sam was back, but Kenny was all new. The teen was Asian and wore a black shirt with the triforce on it, as well as regular blue jeans. He had short peachfuzz on his upper lip and arms like sticks. His hair, matted and messy, spiked up.
Confessional: Gamers
Sam plays his handheld and chuckles. "Yeah, this is the life, huh, Ken? Just a month of gaming around the world."
Kenny nods. "Yeah, maybe we'll even visit Japan and see all the awesome exclusive merchandise?!"
Sam doesn't even look up, but smiles. "Yeah, hehe. Killer."
Kenny leans in to the camera. "I beat him every time."
"I heard that!"
End Confessional: Gamers
The Cast
Clint and Annie: Cow-Folks
Tracy and Betty: Lunch Ladies
Harold and LeShawna: Dream Team
Valerie and Vicki: Samaritans
Sam and Ken: Gamers
Eustace and Angelina: Top One Percent
Anne Maria and Nicki: Jersey Chicks
Drew and Jake: Brothers
Bobby-Z and Shark Attack: Rappers
Joel and Natalie: Anchors
Charlie and Mick: Wrestlers
Holly and Caitlyn: Pranksters
The twelve teams gathered behind the starting line in the order in which they arrived stretching across the sidewalk in front of the CN Tower. Don stood blocking the entrance with arms spread wide.
"Welcome... to The Ridonculous Race!"
The cast burst out cheering, minus a few certain individuals who just wanted to get out or get started.
"I know you're all excited to race, so I'll make things short. At each leg of our race is a Chill Zone. Reach it last and you could be going home, but reach the last Chill Zone after 13 hard fought rounds of racing and you win-"
"ONE MILLION DOLLARS!" screamed the cast.
"Minus taxes," Harold coughed.
"This is your starting line: the foot of the CN Tower, where our first race began exactly one year ago. Inside the tower is your first Don Box containing your first travel tip of your first leg of the race. On my go, you'll race inside to find it. Following it's instructions will be vital, so read very carefully or possibly face a penalty down the line."
Don stepped forward. "However, before we start, I have some special announcements. First of all, non-elimination rounds aren't as forgiving this time around. For any team who finishes last in one of these, there awaits an additional challenge in the next round only that team will complete. We call it... The Slow-Me-Down. These aren't difficult, but they'll live up to their name. Secondly, we've added a new type of challenge to our course. What it is shall remain a mystery, but trust me when I say that it's a doozy. And third, the Boomerang has changed. This season, Boomerangs will be in the form of the Boomerang Board. Reach it before another team and you can set them up for failure. Each team can only use it once, so use it wisely. There are a few more twists, but we'll figure them out when it comes to them. That is all for now, so take your positions..."
The teams hunched down, leaned forward, oiled their gears, and waited.
"On your mark..."
Hearts beat rapidly, sweat hut the ground, feet quivered from excitement.
"Get set..."
Feet shuffled forward, eyes locked onto the tower entrance, Don was ready to jump out of the way.
"RACE!"
The twenty-four people charged forward and through the doors barely missing Don by an inch as he leapt to safety.
The Samaritans honed in on the Don Box and pressed the top, grabbing the paper that popped out. The Cow-Folk, Rappers, and Dream Team followed soon after and cleared away so the others could get their tips.
Valerie read the tip aloud. "Get on a bus to Sudbury, Ontario and search the grounds at the station for your next Don Box!" She turned to Vicki. "Let's go!"
The Anchors grabbed their tip and Joel laughed. "Sudbury. I used to intern there! One time, I interviewed the president of the scouts and-"
Natalie snagged him by the collar. "No time. Let's just get to the bus!"
Anne Maria read the clue aloud and Nicki perked up.
"Did you say Subway?!"
Anne Maria growled. "Sudbury! Not Subway, ya' fool."
Nicki began to lick her chops. "I could soooo go for a sub right now. Like, I could just shove that juicy footlong down my throat and go to heaven, baby!"
The Jersey Chicks looked around to see a ton of disturbed, confused, or hilarious looks.
"It was her," Nicki said poking her partner. "Annie, that's so wrong. Stop bein' a hoe and go!"
Anne Maria watched her partner run away snickering and turned to Harold and LeShawna. "Yeah, she's been dead to me for a looong time."
Harold snickered. "Ha... footlong."
Anne Maria punched Harold in the gut and LeShawna freaked.
"Oh, you did not just do that! You did not!"
Anne Maria gasped and ran off after her partner with an angry LeShawna chasing her away.
Harold stood up. "She's... something else." His eyes widened and his mouth went limp.
Confessional: Dream Team
"She punched you in the guts!" LeShawna argued. "How was that attractive?!"
Harold shrugs. "What can I say, I like a girl with some fight in her. But alas, you are my one and only, fair LeShawna." He gets down on his knees and takes her hand.
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, sure."
End Confessional: Dream Team
After all the teams had left for the station, the Top One Percent approached the Don Box. Eustace put a rubber glove on his right hand and poked the button. Angelina grabbed the clue with her gloved hands and read it aloud.
"Sudbury? That town of mining and dirt?!" Eustace gagged. "Disgusting."
The Lunch Ladies rocketed past the Cow-Folk and Pranksters to take a place near the front middle the pack.
"Wow, those old ladies can run!" Caitlyn gasped in shock. "Would make for a great video, huh?"
Holly shrugged. "I think we've been beaten in the 'old person is cool' category. Now, if we pranked them on air..."
Caitlyn and Holly shared a laugh.
The first bus was just about to leave when The Samaritans, Rappers, Anchors, Lunch Ladies, Cow-Folk, and Pranksters took their seats.
The driver closed the doors and another bus opened up as the first one sped off to the north.
The Brothers fell near the back thanks to Jake's slow running speed. The little guy pumped as fast as he could, but couldn't keep up. It wasn't long before the Top One Percent passed them up at a brisk jogging pace.
"Toodles, peasant!" Angelina cackled. "Mauahahaha!"
Drew stopped and looked to his brother. "Look, bro, I can carry-"
"No!" Jake shouted. "I can do it myself! I'm not some kid, you know."
Drew watched as Jake ran forward. He reluctantly let him be.
Confessional: Brothers
"Jake's been ignoring my help since he was sixteen," Drew sighs. "I'm just trying to make his life easier."
"And it's kinda annoying," Jake says, rolling his eyes. "Just 'cause I'm small doesn't-"
"I know. It doesn't mean you aren't able, but it wouldn't hurt to let me carry you once in a while. I can run faster than half the people here."
Jake gives his brother the silent treatment.
Drew sighs. "I should've expected this."
End Confessional: Brothers
The last six teams got on the second bus: Dream Team, Gamers, Jersey Chicks, Wrestlers, Top One Percent, and the Brothers.
Don arrived on set as the bus sped off. "Each bus has departed with six teams. The first bus will arrive ten minutes early, so our riders in by the second bus will need to step it up come arrival."
On the first bus, the Samaritans played a couple games of poker, the Lunch Ladies looked at the sights, the Anchors filmed the view and themselves, the Cow-Folk snuggled and kissed, the Pranksters shot dead bugs into Tracy's hair, and the Rappers jammed out to their own songs.
Joel snapped out of his photography spree and gasped. "We'll need a cab! We should reserve one just in case, y'know."
Natalie nodded in agreement and turned to the woman behind her. "Mind if I borrow your phone real quick?"
The woman handed it over and Natalie dialed the number... "Yes, I'd like to reserve a cab at the Subury bus station..."
In the second bus, Harold kept taking peaks at Anne Maria, who was trying not to slap Nicki across her face.
The Wrestlers watched the sights go by, bored out of their minds.
"C'mon..." Charlie groaned. "I want some action."
Sam and Ken played Smash Bros. on their 3DSs and got so into it they forgot about the race at hand.
The Top One Percent sat on luxury cushions from home. They purposefully lifted their feet up and kept their hands off the walls to avoid contaminating their temple-like bodies.
"Disgusting," Angelina growled.
Her partner took a sip of wine. "Yes. Quite."
The Brothers sat in silence. It was pretty awkward.
Six hours later, the first bus arrived in Sudbury, Ontario.
"Sudbury, Ontario, home of the Vale mining facility, the Sudbury Nickel, and the world's largest lake inside a city that no one cares about. It is here that teams will face their first test as teams and competitors."
The Samaritans, thanks to their front seats, escaped the crowd that blocked the others from leaving as quickly.
"Alright," Vicki said, observing the horizon through the people. "Where's the Don Box?"
"There," Valerie grabbed her partner by the hand and dragged her across the street, stopping at the familiar mini-Don and getting a tip.
"It's an Either-Or!" Vicki gasped, delighted. "Pound It or Paddle It?!"
"In this Either-Or, teams will have the choice between two challenges. In Pound It, teams will send one of their members into a Vale mineshaft in search of marked nickels. These coins can be found by pounding the walls with a sledgehammer and searching the rubble, but only marked coins will count. Once they've found a marked coin, this local miner will give them their next tip."
"In Paddle It, teams must work together to traverse the rough, chilly waters of Ramsey Lake in canoes. With only two paddles, teams will navigate the water to find three buoys marked by red, blue, and yellow flags. Once they've located all three buoys and collected three colors of flags, they'll paddle to the shoreline where they started to receive their next tip from a local guide."
"Let's pound!" Vicki insisted. "Remember when I went into an Ethiopian mine and saved all those kids?"
"Yeah, you lost a rib!" Valerie gasped. "Horrible, but worth it for the kids."
As other teams arrived at the Don Box, the girls rushed into the nearest taxi and sped off. "To Vale!" they cheered.
The Anchors picked up their tip and agreed immediately. "Paddle It!"
However, when they went to find their reserved taxi, it was nowhere to be found. Joel looked around for it and gasped. "Someone took it! Ugh!"
"Maybe they're, I don't know, running late?" Natalie suggested with half-optimism.
"No," Joel said, getting dead serious. "Someone here is rotten to the core!"
The Samaritans enjoyed their easy taxi ride. The driver spoke up. "Glad ya' called when ya' did. I was about to doze off from boredom."
The girls froze.
"Uh, called?" Vicki asked nervously.
"Yeah, you reserved?"
The girls shared a fearful glance before Valerie smiled. "Sure, that's us!"
Confessional: Samaritans
"Accident," Vicki says.
"Total accident," Valerie says nonchalantly.
End Confessional: Samaritans
The Pranksters chose paddling while the Rappers, Lunch Ladies, and Cow-Folk went for pounding. The Anchors were still freaked out over their cab.
"It was cabotage!" Joel shrieked. "Cabotage!"
"Get over it," Tracy said, shoving the guy to the ground. Betty rolled her eyes and hailed a cab for her team.
The Rappers danced a cab to a halt with their smooth moves and jumped inside.
The Cow-Folk and Pranksters waved their cabs down and roared off in opposite directions.
Joel got to his feet and sighed. "Let's just call another-"
"Taxi!" Natalie screamed, running into the road and stopping a cab in its tracks. "Get in! Now, Joel!"
Confessional: Anchors
Joel looks into the camera with a sad expression. "I'm used to reading things off a screen, so I guess having the rug yanked out from under me was a bit of a shock. Maybe it's for the better. But seriously, when I find out who stole our cab-"
"We never saw it," Natalie says, indifferent to the debacle. "We don't even know if he showed up, so drop it, okay?"
Joel sighs. "Yes, ma'am..."
End Confessional: Anchors
The second bus arrived and the Wrestlers stepped off first by pushing their way through the crowds.
"There's the Box!" Mick cheered, running across the street with Charlie right behind him.
The Dream Team maneuvered through the aisles and saw the Wrestlers going for the box.
"After them!" Harold chanted, raising a fist to the air.
The Jersey Chicks, Brothers, and Gamers followed, leaving the Brothers and Top One Percent stuck in the bus behind a slow crowd.
Eustace grew impatient and shoved people out of the way. "Move aside, peasants! We're above you!"
The Brothers saw the gap in the crowd created by those snobs and ran for it, barely making it out after the Top One Percent.
At the Don Box, Mick and Charlie went with Pound It on account of their upper body strength.
Harold and LeShawna went with Pound It as well, thinking it would be easy for LeShawna to use the sledgehammer. Harold tried to insist upon paddling due to his camp experience, but got shut down when they were forced to run for a taxi.
The Gamers grabbed a tip and read it.
"I don't know, Ken," Sam said. "Neither of these look easy."
"Let's paddle," Ken said with a hint of uncertainty. "I don't do well in dark places."
Confessional: Gamers
Sam and Ken are still playing on their handhelds. Sweat drips down their hair.
"I was going to do this with my gal, Dakota," Sam says. "Then they told me she was too big and I had to go with Kenny. Pfft, too big... Nobody's too big."
"Except Ridley," Ken says with a smirk.
"Don't you start!" Sam growled.
End Confessional: Gamers
"I say paddlin'," Anne Maria suggested. "The last time I went into a mine, I nearly died."
"But I've never paddled," Nicki whined. "We should Pound It!"
"Uh, are you on crack? We're doin' the paddlin', and you gonna like it!"
The Jersey Chicks ran off to find a taxi while the Top One Percent and Brothers read their tips.
"Mining?" Angelina gasped. "Repulsive!"
"It says we're digging for currency!" Eustace gasped, breaking his calm composure. "We're mining!"
"We should mine," Jake said, reaching for the tip. "You know I'm not a good swimmer."
"Yeah, but you can't lift a hammer or crank the elevator down, right?" Drew looked around for a taxi. "I say we paddle."
"And I say we pound..."
"Paddle."
"Pound!"
"Paddle!"
"Pound!"
Drew threw his hands up. "Fine, let's pound, but if you can't do it, we go to the paddling ASAP."
"Deal!" Jake shook his brother's hand. "Now to find a taxi!"
Pound It: Samaritans, Rappers, Lunch Ladies, Cow-Folk, Wrestlers, Dream Team, Top One Percent, Brothers
Paddle It: Anchors, Pranksters, Gamers, Jersey Chicks
The first four taxis arrived at the Vale Mining Facility and the Samaritans, Rappers, Lunch Ladies, and Cow-Folk ran to the start of the challenge.
Three lifts were set up to be operated by crank and dropped down nearly half a mile.
"Only three can go!" Betty gasped. "Hurry!"
The teams ran to the lifts and the Samaritans missed out by half a second.
"Crap," Vicki said, seething.
"It's okay, we'll get our turn," Val said comforting her friend with a pat to the shoulder.
Tracy, Shark Attack, and Clint went into the lifts while Betty, Bobby-Z, and Annie cranked them down.
"Work it, baby," Clint cheered. "You got this!"
Annie pumped her arms around and around. "This is all for you, honey-bunch!"
"I love you!"
I love you too!"
Betty pumped as fast as a fifty year old woman could manage. Tracy grabbed the side of the lift and braced herself as the lift plummeted downwards.
Bobby-Z huffed and puffed as he cranked, making good time.
The Anchors and Pranksters arrived at Ramsey Lake and made a run for their canoes.
"Let's get this done," Natalie panted. "I want first place."
"Same, babe," Joel gasped as he put on his life jacket.
The Pranksters looked at the other canoes lining the beach and smiled.
"Is it really worth it?" Caitlyn asked. "I mean, it is a race."
Holly fought the urge to prank, but lost control. She grabbed the oars from the other boats and tossed them in the bushes, laughing maniacally with her teammate.
Confessional: Pranksters
"Just to be clear," Holly begins. "We're not evil. I mean, yeah, that was lame of us to do-"
"But it's just a joke, right?" Cait says.
"Right."
End Confessional
Joel looked back to shore and gasped. "This just in: Pranksters gone bad!"
Nat looked back. "What?"
"They just threw out the other paddles! Saboteurs! Maybe-"
"Joel, I swear to God! If it's about the taxi-"
"Nevermind."
The second round of taxis arrived at the Vale Mines and set out to... wait in line.
"Are there any other lifts?" Mick asked, looking around the facility. "This can't be it?!"
"I think it is," Harold said. "Unless you think you can slide down the rope for half a mile."
Mick's eyes went wide with a shudder. "Nah, I'm good."
The first three lifts hit the ground and the three racers stepped into the long pathway of rock and lanterns. Small bits of dust floated around, obscuring the view.
Once the three stepped off the lifts, they shot back up to the surface and left them stranded a half-mile below ground.
Tracy grabbed the first hammer. "Let's get this done."
Shark Attack struggled to lift his and accidentally knocked down a lantern. "My bad, bros. My bad! You can buy another one, right?"
Clint snatched his hammer and smashed it into the first wall he could hit. Bits of rock flew out and struck him across the chest and face. He let out a cough and dropped the smile. "Finally."
At the surface, the lifts returned and the Samaritans, Wrestlers, and Dream Team all got in.
"Hold on!" Angelina stepped forward and grabbed the Dream Team's crank. "Who said you get to go?! We're rich, and you're a lot of heathens!"
"Yeah, and you're crazy, wack, cracked, did I say crazy?" LeShawna said, rolling her eyes. "Crank that wheel, Harold!"
Harold brushed the snobs aside and cranked as fast as his nerd arms could move. "Aye aye, my love!"
Mick cranked Charlie down while Val went down and Vicki cranked.
However, the Samaritans, being Samaritans, decided to lend a hand.
"Hey, Brothers!" Val called. "You can come along!"
Jake and Drew lit up. "Really?"
"Yeah, you look like you need it."
Jake hurried inside the lift as Drew joined Vicki in cranking.
Eustace gasped and raised a finger. "Halt, peasants! That is breaking the rules and quite unfair, I might add!"
"Read your tip, dingus!" Vicki snorted.
"It said only three lifts operate at a time!"
"Yeah, nothing about taking down more than one at a time!"
"I call foul!" Angelina screamed. "Foul!"
The Gamers and Jersey Chicks arrived at the shoreline and jumped in their boats. Then they noticed something... off.
"Where are our paddles?" Sam asked, becoming flustered. "They supposed to be here, unless we need to find them or something."
Anne Maria looked around. "I ain't seein' any! What gives?!"
"Maybe there was only one boat with paddles?" Kenny suggested with a shrug.
"So we use our hands?" Nicki asked, mouth agape. "Uh, no way. Have you seen my new nails?! These cost forty dolla's at-"
Anne Maria tossed Nicki aside and shouted to Sam. "Hey, button-masha'! Wanna work together?"
Sam and Kenny both nodded, excited at the prospect of working with two hotties.
Confessional: Jersey Chicks
"Sam and I go back," Anne Maria explains. "The guy's, like, so bad with fashion and stuff, but he's a familiar face. I'd rather team up with bad design than go home first, not that I wanted to come on in the first place."
Nicki gives her a dirty look. "Yeah, team up with the gross nerds. That'll win us the dough."
"Better than teaming up with you," Anne Maria snorted.
End Confessional: Jersey Chicks
Joel and Natalie reached the red buoy and plucked the flag off the top.
"This is so much easier than mining!" Joel shouted over the crashing waves and high winds.
"Yeah, but it's c-c-cold," Natalie shivered. "I wish I had a j-jacket right now."
"As long as you don't fall in, you'll be fine!"
Suddenly, the Pranksters arrived at the buoy and snatched their red flag.
"You guys look cold!" Holly laughed.
Jeol growled and pointed his oar at the blonde prankster. "Yeah, and you look like dirty thieves!"
Holly and Cait shared a nervous glance.
"You guys stole the other paddles!" Natalie hissed.
Holly chuckled and paddled forward, taking the lead. "All's fair in love and racing, plus it's gonna be hilarious on TV! And remember, it's just a prank, bro!"
Joel and Natalie rolled their eyes and kept on paddling, trying to reclaim their early lead.
The next round of lifts dropped to the bottom of the mine. Val, Jake, Charlie, and LeShawna ran out and grabbed pickaxes.
Val motioned to Jake. "Follow me, I say we work together."
Jake gave her an assuring nod. "Oh, yeah. Like an alliance. I'm game."
As Val and Jake took heed in pummeling a part of the wall, LeShawna looked at the giant black guy standing next to her and fawned. "Hey, big guy. Wanna work together on this?"
Charlie just laughed and walked off. "Sorry, babe. I only work with Mick. That's why we're the best team in our division three years running... or was it four? It's been so long and-"
LeShawna walked off, turning to sneer his way.
The wrestler rolled his eyes. "Bitch."
Deeper into the mine Tracy, Shark Attack, and Clint were still digging into the rocks for nickels with no success. The skinny rapper broke a couple more lanterns and sent that section of the mine into darkness, so any hope of finding a nickel there was wrecked.
Clint hammered into a little pocket and saw something shiny fall out. He wiped the dust off the metal coin and saw a beaver sitting in a log. He was excited, but it wasn't a marked nickel. He tossed the coin down the mine and went back to digging.
Tracy was walking down the corridor when she saw a shiny coin rolling down the passageway. She stopped it with her foot and looked at it closely. She gasped. "Yes! Slayed! We got one!"
Everyone heard the scream and let out a sigh. First place wasn't up for grabs anymore and now it was a race to finish before last place.
Tracy began her excited climb to the surface via the ladder across from the entrance shaft just as Eustace reached the bottom. He whipped out a pair of rubber gloves and slipped them on finger by finger. He cringed when he grabbed the pickaxe. "Ugh. Peasant tools."
The Gamers and Jersey Chicks reached the first buoy after what seemed like an eternity of hand paddling. Anne Maria and Kenny grabbed flags and let out sighs.
"We're doomed," said the lanky gamer. "Without paddles, there's no way to catch up."
Sam, who was laying on his stomach with arms hanging in the water, took a minute to catch his breath. "I always... hated fitness games."
Nicki filed her nails. That's literally all she was doing.
Anne Maria sat back down in the canoe. "Listen, everyone. Someone stole our paddles, so how's this for a drive: we find out who those hoes are and drive 'em into the sidewalk."
"I'm for that," Sam said. "But do we have a lead?"
"No," Kenny grumbled. "But we can find out later. Let's just paddle!"
Confessional: Pranksters
Caitlyn sighs. "I feel bad about ditching those paddles. Now they're going to hate us."
Holly merely laughs and pats her friend on the back. "Come on, Cait, it's fine. They're probably laughing with us."
"Well, that attractive couple was peeved and they had paddles."
"Just a prank, remember?" Holly hushed her partner with a finger to the mouth.
End Confessional: Pranksters
Jake struggled with the pickaxe thanks to his short stature and ended up snapping the head off the tool to use as a knife of sorts.
"Hey, nice idea," Val said, flashing a polite smile. "We need more people like you, people who can conquer their limitations."
Jake snorted. "Hey, just 'cause I'm short doesn't mean I can't kick a lot of ass. One time, Drew was attacked by a dachshund at our aunt's and he started crying. I whooped that dog's butt and sent it off with its tail between its legs. But don't tell him I said that; he hates that story."
Val giggled. "No problem."
They heard a couple clinks on the ground and looked down to see two marked nickels, each bearing the show logo.
"Score!" they both whispered with glee.
Tracy reached the top of the shaft and dragged her ash coated body over to the local miner holding tips.
"Tip please," the lunch lady said, handing him the coin.
He looked at the nickel for half a second and tossed it away. "Sorry. No tip. You had to find a marked coin."
Tracy's eyes went wide as Betty showed up. "What?!"
"Back to the mine," said the miner. "Unless you wanna go do the paddle thing."
Tracy stomped the ground. "Back to the mine! Hurry, Betty!"
The elderly women trotted off just as Jake and Val popped up with their nickels.
The miner looked at the tiny RR logos and handed over the tips.
"No way," Drew said, running over. "You got it first. Nice job."
"We got it first," Val corrected him, preparing to read the tip. "Guess it's a race to... Idylwylde Golf Club! Grab a golf cart and find the Chillzone on the 18th hole!"
"Today's Chillzone is found on the final hole of the Idylwylde Golf and Country Club golf course. To get here, teams will drive the club carts to the carpet, where the last team to arrive may be eliminated."
Joel and Natalie raced Holly and Caitlyn to the dock with all their flags in hand. The canoes moved faster, their eyes were bulging with nerves, and it was too close to call.
Holly made a turn and the Anchors gasped as their boat was forced into turn to avoid crashing.
"Cheaters!" Joel yelled, angrily shaking his fist.
Holly blew a raspberry and docked her team's canoe. The local fisherman took the flags and handed on the tip.
"Golf course?" Caitlyn asked. "Where's the golf course?"
"Just down the road from here," Joel panted, handing in his own flags. He grabbed the tip. "Yep, just down the road. C'mon, Nat! Let's hurry!"
With that challenge done, both teams broke into a fast jog down the shore.
LeShawna, Charlie, and Clint climbed up to the surface with nickels in hand. Each received a tip and met up with their partners.
Harold got hyped to drive a golf cart and rushed into the taxi, wanting to get a good placing.
Confessional: Dream Team
Harold reclines on his stool and sighs. "What a race, huh? In just one day, we've had more fun than in the past three seasons of Total Drama combined. Plus, we're never apart, so we have, like, so much more bonding time and stuff. I'm glad you picked me to go."
LeShawna cringes. "Oh, yeah, sure. Totally, hun. You were always first pick." She gives a nervous glimpse to the camera.
End Confessional: Dream Team
Tracy and Shark Attack watched Eustace calmly chip a nickel out of the wall and walk over to the ladder. He turned and scoffed. "Heathens."
The older lunch lady snapped her axe in half and chunked it across the room. "Great, now we're racing for last!"
Shark Attack let out a sad sob. "Yeah, now we're never gonna go platinum!"
Tracy pushed him aside. "Move, I'm finding a nickel if it kills me."
Shark Attack lifted his axe and struck the wall again and again... and again... and again... and again. "I knew I shouldn't have smoked that back alley stuff before I left Toronto... Took the juice right outta me, man."
The Samaritans, Brothers, Pranksters, and Anchors reached the front of the golf course at the same time.
"Four way, eh?" Drew smirked. "Guess it's a race after all."
He didn't have time to think when Jake pushed him into the nearest cart and sped off. "To hole numero eighteen!" The Samaritans followed closely behind.
Joel sneered at the Pranksters as they all carted up to head to the carpet. Right behind them were three other taxis a few hundred yards into the distance.
Drew maneuvered around trees and pitfalls to find the final hole on top of a hill about a thousand yards ahead. "There's Don!" he shouted, pointing to the suited figure standing next to the flag.
Valerie and Vicki gave each other nods and made a little but of a turn to get around the Brothers. Drew caught it out of the corner of his vision and turned to block them off, but nearly crashed into their cart.
"Hey, watch your side!" Vicki yelped.
"You're trying to pass us!" Drew shouted back.
"Well, we want first, alliance or not," Val explained.
Drew looked at Jake with a stonecold glare. "Alliance? You made an alliance with those girls?!"
Jake smirked and leaned back in his seat. "Jealous?"
"No time!"
The two carts roared to a stop and racers bolted to the carpet.
Val and Vicki raced side by side with Drew and Jake, the yellow of the Chillzone within yards, feet, inches...
Feet stomped over feet, wind pushed them to be faster, legs pumped like pistons...
"Samaritans, 1st Place!" Don announced. "Brothers take 2nd!"
The girls grabbed each other and jumped around with giddy joy. "Yesyesyesyesyes!"
Drew looked at Jake. "So, second to the girls? Some alliance, huh?"
Jake shrugged. "As long as we're riding high (pun not intended), I'm good. And hey, maybe you'll get a girlfriend outta them."
Drew rolled his eyes. "I guess so. But not to girlfriend!"
The juicy drama was cut short by the racing between the Anchors and Pranksters down the hill from the carpet. Both carts were neck and neck, but Joel had a plan. He grabbed the wheel from Natalie and turned a sharp right.
Holly screamed and grabbed a hold of the wheel, veering to the left. She laughed it off and looked back. "Fail!" Then the cart took a steep drop and both girls screamed as sand filled the air.
Joel leaned out of the cart. "This just in: Justice served!"
Nat pulled him back by the collar. "Never do that again! We almost flipped!"
"Worth it."
Nat stopped the cart and the duo ran onto the carpet.
"Anchors take 3rd!" Don waved them by. He looked down the hill and saw the Pranksters making a break for it, behind them three other carts.
It was a mess, but there were clear winners...
"Cow-Folk: 4th! Pranksters: 5th! Wrestlers: 6th! And in 7th: The Dream Team!"
Clint and Annie shared a passionate kiss. The Pranksters coughed up sand from the pit and looked disappointed. The Wrestlers did a wild dance and bumped chests.
"How did we get 7th?!" Harold asked in disbelief. "We left the mine before the other two teams."
"Well, the other teams didn't get pulled over for speeding," LeShawna scolded her partner.
"Idiot," Harold hissed. "It was only ten over."
Confessional: Cow-Folk
"Beatin' these teams should be a cinch," Annie chuckles, playing with her hair.
"Yeah," Clint chuckles nervously. "Totally, honey."
She gives him a wicked smile and tries to speak through it. "Ya' sure, sugah?"
Clint stresses a smile. "Yes, love. Yes I am."
End Confessional: Cow-Folk
The Top One Percent arrived and calmly walked next the carpet, noting it's horrible color and dusty fabric.
"Ugh, this rag is unfit for us non-heathens!" Angelina gagged.
"Well, you don't have to step on it," Don said with a grin.
The botox sculptures shared a glance of worry and took a step forward. Eustace spoke up. "This is a race of heathens, I say. Heathens!"
"And in 8th are the heathen-hating Top One Percent!" Don announced with an annoyed frown.
Sam and Anne Maria pulled their teams to shore and got their tips.
Nicki was still filing her nails, so Anne Maria had to read the paper herself. "Oh, hey, we're goin' to the salon!"
The other Jersey girl snapped back to life. "Gurl, no way!"
"Yeah, it's a crummy golf course. Just needed to getcha' alert." Anne Maria started jogging down the beach as Sam and Kenny tried to keep up.
"They're awesome," Ken said through short breaths. "Totally dating material."
Sam chopped Ken in the side, getting an "Ow!" out of his Asian friend.
"No," the chubby gamer said. "No dating on this show! You saw how that went for Noah last season!"
Ken let out a sad sigh. "Don't worry, I'll control myself... for now." He ended with a sly smirk and a rub of his hands before tripping over a log.
Tracy finally found a marked nickel and praised Jesus. Unfortunately for her, Shark Attack found one too. Both made a mad dash for the ladder, but Tracy gained the upper hand by grabbed the hood of the younger man.
"Aw, hell naw!" he shouted, kicking the veteran in the leg and doubling her. "No one bites the shark without gettin' bit back, lady!"
Tracy growled and chased the scrawny African-Canadian up the ladder just a few rungs apart.
Shark Attack reached the surface and met up with Bobby-Z. "Sorry, man. If we lose it's all my fault. I tried, man."
"Nah, bro, you did yo' best. That's good enough for-"
"Tip! Give it!" Tracy grabbed the clue and dragged Betty into the nearest cab.
Confessional: Lunch Ladies
"I'm not tryin' to push you or anything, Tracy, but you don't have to be so hard on yourself," Betty says, patting her friend on the back.
"I cost us the challenge," she replies with a quivering lip. "We were in first and I blew it because I didn't read the tip enough! Gah! So much for keeping the job I already quit to be here."
Betty smiles. "We're not out yet. I hear the Rappers are giving another confessional right now. If we hurry, we can beat those gangster-wannabes to the mat."
End Confessional: Lunch Ladies
Anne Maria pulled Nicki across the edge of the carpet.
"9th Place for our Jersey Chicks!"
Sam and Kenny crossed seconds later.
"10th goes to The Gamers! Just two teams remain in the field, one of which may be going home."
Nicki stopped filing her nails. "Eh, nice job, Annie-Boo."
Anne Maria snapped the file away. "Yeah, nice job on me. You ain't even tryin' and you're the one who signed us up!"
"But you look like you wanna win," Nicki said, a glint of delight in her eye. "I knew ya' had it in ya', boo."
The TD vet paused and let out a deep growl. "Whoa, hold the phone, B! You tellin' me you slowed us down on purpose just so I'd play this floozy game?!"
Nicki shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much."
Anne Maria walked off in disgust. "Well, at least I know you'll try from now on."
"Yeah, I'm in it. But can we get footlongs now? I'm starvin' like a hoe outta business over here."
Ken snickered. "She's perfect..."
Confessional: Gamers
Ken stares off into space as Sam tries to snap him out of it. "Hey, dude. Snap out of it!"
"That butt... those curves... that silky hair... amazing."
"Oh, nuts," Sam says, suddenly realizing what he was going to face in the coming legs.
End Confessional: Gamers
The sun was setting and two carts raced to the Chillzone, one carrying the Rappers, the other carrying the Lunch Ladies. Just as the light faded, pairs of feet raced to the carpet and were silenced by the host's voice.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Rappers take 11th by a split second!"
The Rappers collapsed to the ground on the carpet and caught their breath. "We did it, boy!" both cheered. "It might've been tough, but the goin' got rough, and here we stand vic-tor-i-ous! Blam!"
The Lunch Ladies hit the carpet just a second too late. Don greeted them with hands behind his back and a solemn expression on his chiseled face. "Betty and Tracy, you're the last to arrive."
"We have eyes," Tracy mumbled.
"It's okay," Betty sighed. "At least we made it on the show, huh? Our kids will be so proud."
Don stepped even closer. "Well, they'll have to wait on that, because this leg isn't over!" He handed both the Lunch Ladies and Rappers tips. "This Chillzone is just a checkpoint, because the real Chillzone is in-"
"PANAMA?!" the four read aloud.
The Lunch Ladies gave the Rappers a maniacal look. "Oh, it's on," Betty said.
"On like Donkey Kong," Bobby retorted.
"Yes, and the other teams are probably at the airport by now," Don interjected with a snarky attitude.
The four racers gave each other one last competitive glare and raced back to their carts.
Don stepped in front of the camera as the racers faded into a blur. "Twelve teams are still racing, and the action only goes up from here! Tune in next time for the second part of our first leg on... The Ridonculous Race!" The show flashed to white with a smile from Don.
Current Placements:
1. Valerie and Vicki - Samaritans
2. Drew and Jake - Brothers
3. Joel and Natalie - Anchors
4. Clint and Annie - Cow-Folk
5. Holly and Caitlyn - Pranksters
6. Mick and Charlie - Wrestlers
7. Harold and LeShawna - Dream Team
8. Eustace and Angelina - Top One Percent
9. Anne Maria and Nicki - Jersey Chicks
10. Sam and Kenny - Gamers
11. Bobby-Z and Shark Attack - Rappers
12. Tracy and Betty - Lunch Ladies
~A/N~ For those who watched The Amazing Race Canada last season, yes, this leg was directly inspired by a leg on that season. I needed a place close to Toronto to run a leg in before going across borders, and Sudbury is a great place for it with its historical relevance and fun challenge potential.
As far as the premiere goes, I'm feeling good about this season. Hopefully my characters are somewhat interesting, but at least we have four vets to keep you entertained nonetheless! It's going to be a fun ride, so I hope y'all stick around for 13 episodes of chaos.
Review Questions:
- Who's your favorite team? Your least favorite?
- Who's going home first? Who's winning?
- Any issues that need fixing?
See you next time! Foreseer out!