Katsuya Jounouchi sprawled out in the grass, his chest heaving up and down. He raised a bruised fist to his face to inspect the damage.
It wasn't often that he and Kaiba got into physical fights - usually they simply exchanged insults and dirty looks. Jou had never actually hit Kaiba, or vice versa.
Jou had always thought insulting someone was just as bad as punching them. It's like someone taking your ego and stomping on it, beating it to a pulp and leaving what's left of it for the next man to come and have a go. It hurt.
Every time we lie awake,
After every hit we take,
Every feeling that I get,
But I haven't missed you yet…
Jou regretted hitting him, which was puzzling. He closed his eyes and placed an arm over his face, shielding himself from the sun. 'I hate him. Why should I be sorry?' He imagined Kaiba as he had seen him just moments before, with blood dripping from his nose, staining his soft, pale skin.
"Fuck, Kaiba." Jou whispered, sitting up.
Every roommate kept awake,
By every sigh and scream we make,
All the feelings that I get,
But I still don't miss you yet…
He rested his head in his hands, trying to clear his mind. Last time he punched someone, it surely hadn't felt like this. Usually it was satisfying. This… This was not the least bit satisfying. Jou felt dirty. Guilty. Hurting someone like Kaiba Seto was a sin. Bruising his perfect complexion, ruffling his tidy brown hair…
Only when I stop to think about it…
Jou closed his eyes tighter, not wanting to believe the thoughts that were entering his mind. 'No. I hate Kaiba. I hate the way he makes fun of me. I hate the names he calls me, I hate the way he looks at me…'
Jou bit his lip, lifting his head slightly. "I love the way he looks at me."
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
The way Kaiba looked at him was teasing, strangely inviting and almost comforting… It was routine. Knowing that Kaiba would be there every day to egg him on was comforting. It was companionship. Maybe it wasn't positive, but it was someone to talk to, someone to be with. Jou looked forward to it.
There was something about Kaiba that was very enticing. Just the way he looked at Jou, the way he acted, his body language… As cold and introverted as he was, there was something that simply made you want to know more. Although he had a hard exterior, Jou knew there was a decent person under there who longed for a real relationship… Not what he had with Jou. That was all he could let through. That was the closest he could get.
Every time we lie awake,
After every hit we take,
Every feeling that I get,
But I haven't missed you yet…
Jou started jogging down the path he'd seen Kaiba take. Where it led him didn't matter, he had to find Kaiba. He had to apologize.Jou smiled to himself.
'Among other things.'
Only when I stop to think about it…
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
Twenty minutes down the sidewalk, Jou didn't seen any sign of Kaiba. Frustrated, he sat down on a bench, completely unaware of the person on the other side nursing a bloody nose.
Jou buried his face in his hands as a few hot tears ran down his cheeks. He threw his head back and screamed, angry at himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. "Damn it, Kaiba, where are you?!" He closed his eyes tight, trying to block the tears and strange looks from people walking past him.
"Control yourself, mutt. I'm right here."
Jou's breath caught in his throat. He was totally unprepared for this…
He turned around and faced Kaiba, who wasn't even looking in Jou's direction. He sat lazily on the bench, clutching a blood-stained tissue in one hand, the other propping up his head.
Jou carefully maneuvered himself so he was sitting right next to Kaiba, staring him in the face. He just looked at the other boy for a few minutes before either of them spoke…
Only when I stop to think
About you, I know,
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know…
Jou swallowed hard and managed to gather himself. 'First things first,'
"I'm sorry."
"You should be."
"I love you."
Kaiba sighed. "I love you too, mutt."
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you,
You hate everything about me,
Why do you love me?
I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me…
Then Jou realized it. Everything that he'd been feeling, Kaiba had been feeling too. It wasn't just wishful thinking; it wasn't something Jou was imagining… Kaiba felt the same things. Whether Kaiba really meant what he said or not – it didn't matter. At least he wasn't angry.
A thousand thoughts rushed through Jou's head, interrupted by the sound of Kaiba's voice. "We've got a lot to talk about."
"I know."
"Why do you love me, Jou?"
I hate everything about you,
Why do I love you?
"I don't know," Jou replied, at a loss. "I can't explain it. It's just… It's just something that I feel." He stared at the ground, embarrassed.
Kaiba placed his hand on Jou's leg, comforting him. "It's okay," Kaiba whispered. "I feel it, too."