Dear Bonnie,
Marceline's hand stilled and she frowned down at the paper. Bonnie… Dear Bonnie. It sounded intimate. Too intimate, for how little they've been spending time with each other lately. Too personal.
("Please stop calling me 'Princess'," she had asked one day, snorting. "I hate that. You're my friend, just call me Bonnie, okay?"
Marceline had grinned back at her and shrugged, adding a snide "whatever you say, Princess" just so Bonnie would roll her eyes and fail to suppress a smile.)
Marceline flipped the page and started again.
Dear Bonnibel,
That wasn't right either. Marceline flipped to a new page again.
Dear Princess Bubblegum,
She threw that one in the trash.
Dear Bonnie,
To whom it may concern,
Bonnie,
Yo Bubblegum,
Dear "Princess Bubblegum",
That one made Marceline smirk for a moment, feeling vindictive, but the urge quickly wore off and she was frowning at the paper again. She heaved a sigh, closing her eyes, before starting once again.
Dear Bonnie,
What's going on with you? I've been trying to hang out, but lately every time you have some new excuse. I'm writing a letter because I never have time to ask you in person before you find some new super important thing you have to do right at that very moment.
You know, it really hurt when-
Marceline dragged the pen across the paper angrily. She tore the page off, ripped it up, and threw it into her wastebasket. She shoved the pad of paper back into her desk. She picked up her bass and started playing at random, blinking back tears and resolving to never think about Bonnie or really anything ever again.
Dear Bonnie,
I really miss you. I want-
Bonnibel,
What makes you think you have the right to-
Marceline threw the pad of paper at the wall.
Bonnie,
Do you hate me?
Actually, don't answer that. Whatever. I don't really care.
-Marceline
P.S. You can keep that album I lent you that one time. I'm not into that band anymore.
Princess,
I've been doing a lot since the last time we hung out. Traveling around Ooo, meeting some real weirdos. They're cool, though. They get me. You never get to travel much, do you? With your kingdom and all. You should try it sometime. I want-
Dear Bonnie,
I've been meeting so many people, parting in so many kingdoms, but I've never felt so lonely. I wish-
Hey Bonnie,
I'm sorry for encouraging Finn to wrestle you. And bringing those wolves into your room. That wasn't cool. I guess I just (Marceline crossed out that sentence before it could continue.)
You know me, I like to pull pranks. I guess they just get out of hand sometimes. Hey, do you remember the time (She scribbled that one out with extra vigor.)
Anyways I'm. Sorry.
"Well, this is pathetic," Marceline muttered to herself, before shoving the letter with all the other unsent ones, hopefully never to be seen again.
Dear Bonnibel,
I thought sticking around would be a bad idea, but it's actually alright. Finn and Jake are actually really fun to hang out with. I haven't had friends like that in awhile. I think you were the last-
Dear Bonnie,
Did I ever tell you about Ash? We spent so much time together I don't even remember if I ever did. I probably didn't. I don't like talking about him. He's a huge jerk, I never should have dated him.
Anyways, Ash, my ex boyfriend, he… stopped by. It's a long story. Basically, he put a sleep spell on me or something, and then he tricked Finn and Jake into erasing my memory of breaking up with him. When I woke up, I thought we were still dating, until Finn showed me his memory of my memory of me breaking up with Ash. Yeah… it was a weird day. We beat him up, though.
I was only "back with" Ash for a few hours, but thinking about it all makes my skin crawl. That he could trick me and my friends that easily, that everything, even if only temporarily, went back to how it had been when I dated him. It was a bad time in my life. Ash was a horrible boyfriend, and he treated me like garbage. I never want to feel like that again.
I'm sorry, you probably don't care. It all worked out in the end anyways, didn't it? So it doesn't really matter. I'm sorry.
You're nothing like Ash, you never were. But does that matter when you also made me feel worthless, in the end?
I-
Bonnie,
Does that shirt really mean a lot to you? I didn't think-
Dear Bonnie,
I didn't mean what I sang. Well, I kinda did, but I was upset. Do you want to know what I was going to sing before I cut myself off? I-
Bonnie,
I just want to be friends again. For the first time in awhile, I'm starting to think that'll be possible. I just don't want to be pushed away again.
Dear Bonnie,
Simon visited me the other day. This is part of why I didn't want to stick around for so long, too many ghosts from my past still here.
Being around him is hard. I mean he's Simon but he's not Simon, you know? He's so much different. But despite all of that, I still love him. That's weird, right?
I never told you a lot about him. I guess that even though it all happened so long ago, the pain is still there, and I don't want to acknowledge it because if I do I make it real. But I'm talking about it now, aren't I? Guess I can't ignore it with him coming around again.
I want to talk about it with you. I can't with Finn and Jake, not yet at least. Every time I see you now I have so much I want to tell you about. About Simon, about my dad, even about my mom, about… everything. There's a lot I haven't told you. And there's a lot you haven't told me. I want to listen. But we only just started hanging out again and I don't want to rush things or get too close in case you push me away again
Dear Bonnie,
Thanks for coming with me to rescue Hambo. It meant a lot to me that you did that.
By the way, what did you do to get Maja to give him to you? I didn't ask before because I was just glad to get him back, but you couldn't have just taken him, right? Did you beat her up? Did you trade something?
Ash traded Hambo for some stupid magic thing. He never actually cared about my feelings. You do, though, don't you? For awhile I convinced myself that you didn't. It made the fact that we weren't friends anymore sting less. But it's not true.
I think I can trust you again. You won't hurt me, will you?
Dear Bonnie,
I didn't realize that you've been under so much pressure. I guess it never really occurred to me. I'm glad you told me, though. It's made me realize that you're not so different than me, which I already knew but I guess never really thought about. If that makes sense. I just mean, you always seemed so responsible and put together and knowing that you don't have it all figured out and you're also kind of a mess is a relief, in a way. Okay, that probably sounded bad. I'm good at writing lyrics but not so good at writing plainly how I feel.
This is just a train wreck now. I better just stop.
Dear Bonnie,
It's funny. For so long, I've thought about how to confront you about how you treated me. I imagined lots of yelling and crying, maybe a reconciliation or maybe we would just never be friends again. I just wanted closure, of some sort. There was crying, but I gotta say that I never imagined it would be you and I never thought any of it would go down like it did. I definitely didn't imagine varmints factoring into any of it.
I got an apology, but I don't even care about that anymore. I guess I've already forgiven you and I didn't even realize it. I'm just glad you opened up to me, and that we talked about it.
It wasn't closure, really. It seemed more like a new beginning than an end. And, you know what? I'm okay with that.
Dear Bonnie,
How do you know if you're in love? Do you even believe in love or do you view it in a weird detached scientific way? I'm just curious.
Marceline put down the pen, cheeks burning.
Dear Bonnie,
Is it possible to be in love with a friend for years and years and years and only just now start to realize it? Am I that much of an idiot?
Marceline crossed out every word on the page, sighing heavily.
Dear Bonnie,
I know it ended up being kind of a huge disaster, but thanks for taking away my vampire essence, if only for a short time. I spent so long as a practically invincible vampire that I forgot what it was like to be mortal. It was terrifying. It put things in perspective.
Things don't feel as hopeless anymore. I've lived so long that I've become kind of detached, I guess. Life didn't feel as worth it, if everyone I know just ends up dying or leaving anyways. That hasn't changed, necessarily, but being mortal forced me to be more present. I almost died! I probably would have if the Moon hadn't come.
I guess the whole thing just reminded me that even if everything is temporary, even if life goes on and on and on, beyond my friends and even Ooo itself, things matter. I can't just let everything pass me by.
I spent a long time alone. But the thing is, I'm not actually alone. I could let myself detach again, forget about Finn and Jake and everyone else because it'll hurt less when they're gone, but that just sounds like a depressing existence. Right now I have them, and I have Simon (who isn't who he used to be, but I can't dwell on that or I'll miss out on him altogether). I have you. That's not too bad, is it? I've got to enjoy it all while I can.
When I think about the future, I think about all I want to do with you. I know you have a kingdom to take care of again, but do you think you can fit me in your busy schedule? I hope so.
-Marcy
P.S. I'm glad I've never sent you any of these letters because I sound so corny. Glob, this is embarrassing.
Dear Bonnie,
I know at this point it's ridiculous to write to you now that we hang out practically all the time. Even so, there's still things I feel like I can't tell you yet.
I don't want to ruin our friendship. It means too much to me. But I also can't stop these feelings! Every time I think about you my heart feels like it's soaring or whatever. It's pretty lame. I want to say something, but what if it makes things weird? I don't want that.
I wish it wasn't you I had these feelings for. If it was someone else, I could talk to you about it. I feel like I can tell you almost anything. You're my best friend.
Anyways feelings are gross and messy and I hate this. Bye.
Bonnie,
Is it stupid to sometimes think that maybe you feel the same? It's probably just wishful thinking, but sometimes you smile at me, so big and honest and open, and I wonder if anyone else gets to see that side of you. It's so much different than when you're doing your "Princess Bubblegum" act. It feels real. Those are the times when I want to kiss your stupid face the most. Sometimes I swear you look like you want to kiss me too. Would it be so bad, for me to just lean over and just do it? Glob, do I want to. Even to just see your face when I do.
Would you kiss me back?
Bonnie,
I think… I think I'm ready to talk to you now. About everything. Even the unpleasant stuff. Even how I feel now. I think it's past time.
I'm going to burn all those letters that I never sent. I think it's better to say it all in person, don't you?
Also, I'm scared that Finn and Jake will find them and I cannot give them that kind of blackmail material. Finn might be sympathetic, but Jake sometimes has a sadistic side and I don't want to give him that kind of ammo.
Marceline flew up to Bonnie's window, and peering in, she saw that Bonnie was awake, doing some sort of science experiment. Marceline cleared her throat, landing inside and rubbing the back of her neck nervously.
"Oh, hey Marceline," Bonnie said, looking up and blinking owlishly from behind her crooked glasses. "What's up?"
"I kinda wanted to talk to you. But if you're busy…"
Bonnie put down the blowtorch in her hand and rubbed at her eyes behind her glasses. "No, it's fine. I needed a break anyways. Just let me clean up and we can go somewhere, yeah?"
Marceline smiled. "Yeah, that sounds good."
As Bonnie cleaned up and shrugged on a jacket, she looked back at Marceline. "So, what did you want to talk about? Is everything okay?"
Marceline sighed. "Yeah. Everything's fine. There's just a lot of things I've been holding in for a long time, and I think it's time to let it all out."
Bonnie walked over and took Marceline's hand, squeezing it gently. "I get that. I've been thinking the same thing about myself, actually. How about we go to your house for some privacy?"
Marceline's shoulder relaxed. "Yeah, I'd really like that."