I've always been a music man. Me and my man Arnold started a little group in tenth grade and have been jammin' it up ever since. He does his own thing and plays all these wicked beats on his keyboard, while I help out with the lyrics and do my best with the vocalizing. Most of the time though... I'm the one writing the lyrics...
Because of my 'muse' as Arnold calls her.
But I don't think Phoebe is really into our kind of music. I guess... well I guess I never really ASKED her or anything, but I feel like she's more a mellow girl, and while our music has a mellow touch to it... I'd be too afraid to mention it to her.
"I'm sure she'd understand though... right?" I asked, turning to Arnold as he smiled, continuing to play a foreign melody on the keys.
"Since when are you the one to get nervous, Mr. Smooth?" He asked with a small smile lining his lips. "Isn't that my job?"
I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the couch in his room where we usually rehearsed. "Well USUALLY, but I can't let you get too used to being such a nervous guy when you're clearly on hunt for the ladies."
"I'm not on a HUNT, Gerald." He deadpanned and I laughed before settling down and leaning in to where he was seated with a sly grin.
"Who do you like anyways?" I asked with a nudge of my arm into his and he sighed.
"Why are you changing the subject?" He replied while stopping his fingers from dancing on the keyboard and turning around to look at me.
"Who said I was changing the subject?" I said with surrender arms up in the air; confused at what I did exactly.
Well, I was PRETENDING to be confused that is. But that Arnold, he's one bold kid and he can usually tell when I'm lying.
Which I was.
"Gerald..." He narrowed his eyes and I frowned before letting out a deep breath.
"Alright, alright... what do you want out of me?" I said with a crossing of my arms over my chest.
He shrugged, returning his attention to the keyboard, playing the same chords over and over again.
"Why do you think she'd suddenly be less interested in you if you told her we played music? I think you may be... overreacting." His words were honest, but I could tell he was annoyed with the fact that I never tell Phoebe about MY 'extracurriculars.' I'd been flirting with the girl all semester—no –all my LIFE, but I still refused to let her all the way in; my walls blocking her or anyone besides Arnold that is, out.
I uncrossed my arms and leaned back into the couch trying to get comfortable. "But it's like... rap." I said as I shut my eyes in preparation for a not-so-nap nap.
"But not rap, Gerald. You and I BOTH know that," Which was true. We classified our music as more of an acid-jazz style, something we'd both agreed on back when we first started our little band journey. Arnold stared at me and I shook my head to return to reality. Once my eyes were on his, Arnold asked, "Why are you so nervous?"
"Because," I started slowly, "It's... it's Phoebe."
"We're in high school-" Arnold started though I was quick to cut him off.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you CAN NOT tell me you aren't nervous around women YOU like. You're the KING of nervous. So don't even go there, man..."
"I wasn't going to, Gerald," Arnold said kindly. "I'm just saying that I think you aren't thinking clearly. Phoebe, I'm sure, already likes you."
Instantly shifting my attention to fixate my eyes on Arnold, I wiggled my eyebrows in search for explanation. "And how exactly do you know this?"
Suddenly stopping what he was doing, Arnold started to twist in his chair and rub at the back of his neck.
"I... know people." He said suspiciously and I furrowed my brows in his direction.
"Bull. You know no one." I said and Arnold piped up.
"Gerald!"
"Mm mm mmm," I hummed while finally figuring just who his 'connections' might be. "You've been talking to that Helga G. Pataki again, haven't you?"
Bright red flooded to Arnold's cheeks and he crossed his arms. "And if I am?"
I scoffed and leaned back to rest on the heels of my hands. "It's just weird, man. I tell ya... nothing good can come from it. NOTHING."
Arnold raised a single brow and gave me a knowing smile. "And the fact that I know Phoebe would be interested in a date with you is nothing than, right?"
"What did you just say?" I asked, my eyes widening, along with Arnold's grin.
"Oh... it's nothing. Remember?" He teased and I was ready to thump the kid for throwing this treat in my face and just not giving it to me.
"Arnold, c'mon man!" I pleaded, "I've been waiting for this moment since age NINE."
"Okay, okay..." He caved before swaying to and fro in his chair some more almost anxiously. "Helga and I have been... thinking about setting you up." He said before backtracking almost immediately, "But Phoebe is just so busy with honor society and her post-secondary plans that we haven't really been able to get anything going."
I smirked and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm surprised that you two came up with anything without her calling you a bunch of nose and punching you in the eye."
"She's gotten better, Gerald," Arnold insisted, "Really. You should give her a chance."
I rolled my eyes and stood up.
"If you say so, Arnold." Shaking my head, I wandered over to his bed to grab the bag of Cheetos and bring them back to where I had been seated on the floor.
"Hey! Gerald!" Arnold called out to me and I turned around to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"What if you did one of our songs for her? I bet-"
I was quick to cut him off again.
"No." I said flatly, though Arnold didn't want to give up.
"But Gerald-"
I sighed dramatically and dropped my head back in slight frustration. "Didn't we JUST go through this, man?" I lifted my head and gave Arnold a sad look. "I... It's just… what if she doesn't like it?"
Arnold's eyes softened and he smiled at me. "It would be the sentiment that matters, Gerald. Girls like that."
"And you know this HOW Mr. I-don't-date-anyone-one-ever?" I retorted and Arnold shook his head with a pink hue hinting over his cheeks and he began to stumble over his words.
"Gerald, I date... well I mean... it's not like I wouldn't... you know."
But Arnold was right... I could do one of our songs I kind of wrote about her... but even if I DID do one of our songs... which one?
Hello, Gerald. I'm sorry to do this... but I don't know if we can see that movie tonight. I have so much to study for my history test. I'm so sorry. ~Phoebe
I exited out of the screen for my messages and sighed.
"What's wrong?" Arnold asked.
"Pheebs cancelled." I said with disappointment
"Why?"
I sighed and leaned back on my hands in an effort at relaxing. "Has to study I guess. I don't know what for though; the girl could've taken that test last WEEK with a BLINDFOLD on and still ace it."
Arnold shrugged and hovered his mouse over the 'cancel' button on the CD he was burning me.
"You know Phoebe, Gerald." Arnold said knowingly and I nearly screeched to get him to stop from pressing the 'cancel' button completely.
"No! Stop, Arnold," I said a little too loudly, "I'll... I still want the CD."
"You sure? I can always burn it another time-"
But I cut him off trying to play it cool and not to show him that I was freaking the heck out inside. "Nah, nah man. It'll save you time, right?"
"I guess." He allowed it to finish and popped it out of his laptop, reaching out to hand it to me. "So what are you gonna do now that you won't be seeing Evil Twin: Curse of the Triplet with her?"
It was pretty cold outside for May, and since I didn't have a jacket, I was starting to rethink my 'once brilliantly thought out' plan. But I was already where I had to be, so there wasn't really any going back.
That's what Arnold's voice said in my head at least, even though he was sitting at home with his Grandparents while they watched their bad movie for "Bad Movie Saturday."
Maybe I was going crazy.
"Just the nerves..." I said to myself as I turned my car off and slid the CD into the CD slot of the old boombox I swiped from Jamie-O's room of still un-moved items since he had 'moved out.'
"Damn cold weather and freakin' no jacket... middle of May... mm mm MM what is this..." I mumbled, awkwardly holding the boombox and slamming the door of my car. Wandering around until finding the best position, I stopped walking and set the boombox down on the grass; picking up a few rocks from nearby and carefully chucking them at the window up ahead.
In Sophomore year, Phoebe and her parents moved from their apartment to a nice house just outside of the main city in hopes that her mom could really, 'tune into her painting' which she had really become...er... obsessed with earlier in the year. Phoebe hadn't been too excited about the move, but through the years, she really started to like the quiet of the house and the extra space it gave her to do her studying and other such nonsense she didn't really need to do. Of course, she always got mad when I'd say that, cause she's never thought she was as smart as she is, but I dealt with the anger.
And even as I stood outside her house throwing rocks at her window, I was pretty sure she'd throw a fit for what I was about to do... I just hoped I had enough strength to handle whatever anger she was prepared to throw at me.
"Gerald?" She asked from where she sat inside her window.
"Hey, Pheebs."
"What are you doing? Didn't you get my text message?" She called down, an irritated tone exuding from her words.
"Yes, ma'am." I replied confidently with a smile planted on my flaming hot cheeks.
"So why are you here?" She asked, confused, and I shrugged at her while still holding my grin.
"Well... I had plans. And I wasn't breaking them."
A soft smile covered her face and she tilted her head slightly as she spoke. "Gerald that's very sweet of you, however, you... you can't really come in. I'm sorry... I just really need to study."
"I understand."
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She asked as I remained frozen in position down below.
"Yep. You'll see me tomorrow."
"...Goodnight." She said as if she were trying to make me move from where I stood, but it just wasn't gonna happen.
I smiled up at her and watched as she slowly closed the window and disappeared from my view, her shadow moving to sit on her bed and look down intently at what I imagined were her various textbooks.
"Now or never... right?" I asked myself, moving to drop the remainder of my rocks back to the ground and pick up the boombox that was still sitting at my feet.
Holding it up above my head, I played the music loudly so she could clearly hear it through the window and prayed with all I had that nobody would complain about the noise.
Sure enough while the familiar tune that Arnold and I had rehearsed with so many times played up to her room, Phoebe opened the window with her eyes wide.
"What are you DOING, Gerald?"
"I told you," I called up at her while paying attention to the notes waiting for my cue, "I had plans that I wasn't going to break."
"This is crazy!"
"I was hoping you'd say that..." I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, hoping I'd remember all I'd written only days earlier.
"It's crazy how we fall in love
or maybe
crazy how we fall apart
but baby
listen to the sky, to the birds while they're singing
chirping up and down, just imagine they're saying
it's hard to fall so hard
it's hard to break down the walls you've built
so strong, you'll keep up your guard
but listen to me
yeah girl, listen to me
I'm in your yard."
From up above, I heard a small chuckle that I was familiar with and grinned as the beat continued on during the bridge.
"You're crazy, Gerald Johanssen."
"You can count on it." I called up and prepared myself for verse 2.
"Alone in your room, you're looking at the stars
hoping they will hold up the dreams in your heart
up down, turn around
it all looks the same
you're sitting far up there just racking up your brain.
Looking for the answers to the meaning of your life
but open up your eyes
It's hard to fall so hard
it's hard to break down the walls you've built
you think the mirror lies
but you're beautiful girl,
you're beautiful girl
in my eyes."
"Gerald..." Phoebe said my name, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Not when I was already this far in.
"In my eyes...
breaking the dates, the plans we've made
scared of the feelings that might invade
might destroy your top notch plan
not prepared for any young man
I get it
I get it
but there's something in you
something I can't buy, it's just too true
too bright, too real
I'm a bit of mess
with all these words I can't seem to express
but here I stand, boombox in my hand
finally ready to say:
It's hard to fall so hard
it's hard to break down the walls I've built
just to keep up the guard
but you broke it all down
turned a smile from a frown
yeah
it's hard to fall so hard
hard to trust the one who could break your heart
but don't worry, don't be alarmed
cause you're beautiful girl
smartest girl in the world
to your talents your blind
won't you say you'll be mine..."
By the time the song was done, it didn't take her long to scurry down those stairs and find her way into my arms.
It's funny, usual ARNOLD is the one who is the bold kid.
But I gotta say, my serenading in the moonlight may have just taken the cake.
Well folks, this is an oldie but goodie revised for your reading and listening pleasure. if you wish to hear the song that i wrote in real life, go to youtube and after you type in the main address, add /watch?v=P6VUS8egeG0 and you should be able to find the song i wrote :) Please let me know what you guys think of this little ficlet! review!
-Polka