Yes, I know. Me...Elizem18

**A FAITHFUL FAX FAN**

Wrote a DAX thing. The world must be ending. It's just official now since I'm posting this. It's all JP's fault.

'I probably wouldn't be this way,

I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,

I never pictured every minute without you in it

Oh, you left so fast'

'Sometimes I see you standing there,

Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch,

Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky,

To have had the chance to love this much'

'God give me a moment's grace,

Cause if I'd never seen your face...

I probably wouldn't be this way.'

~ I Probably Wouldn't Be This Way : LeeAnn Rimes

Max POV

I stared up at the dim lit ceiling with a distasteful expression. Suddenly the dots in the pale blocks became swirls of pattern, a sun, trees, wings. A moment later one pattern stood out in particular, a sharply angled face with black hair sweeping across one dark eye.

NO! I demanded, clapping my hands over my eyes and taking in slow deep breaths. Tears pricked the backs of my eyes but I held them back, not willing to let one be shed in his behalf.

I hear a sigh and let hands fall from my face. Dylan's handsome face and clear turquoise eyes stare calmly at me from the foot of my bed. He says nothing, just keeps his gaze steadily locked onto mine.

Ever since Paris, he rarely leaves my side. And when he does it's because I order him away.

A flash of memory covers my sight and I see a different person standing in Dylan's place, one so familiar yet strikingly alien all at the same time. I close my eyes and another face enters my thoughts. A sweetly rounded face framed by golden curls. My lips press into a tight line and I feel like I'm about to choke on the air from holding back a sob.

Without opening my eyes, I extend my arms out toward the foot of the bed. I know that the flock is nestled in the living room. Safe and sound. We won't be disturbed.

The bed squeaks and groans as a heavier weight climbs on. He comes up over me and large soft hands entangle in my hair, a lean body touching every curve of mine. A streak of betrayal slashes through my chest but the pain is too much. The anger is too much. The loss is too much. I need relief, and the boy above me can give me just that.

"I love you Max. You know I do." Dylan's warm breath whispers as he lays his lips on mine.

At first, revulsion wrings me and I want to pull away. I crave a different pair of hands, scarred from fight after fight and a different mouth, one soft yet forceful and always chapped.

But for now, I push that feeling, that person, far out of sight and let myself be lost in the embrace of my supposed true half.

Dylan's hands run through my hair and his thumbs massage my temples while his lips and tongue send me to a place where Fang, the world, or even my own name don't hold any place.

He no longer loves me. He replaced me. Now I replace him.

"I know." I answer, my tone mostly flat. I tug on Dylan's shoulders, bringing him closer. He smiles, not looking at all upset, and buries his face in the crook of my neck so he can spread warm kisses on the skin there. I sigh sadly and let my eyes drift shut.

If it wasn't for Fang. If he hadn't left and forgotten what we had...

I probably wouldn't be this way.

Man...I feel like a FAX traitor writing this. But when inspiration calls...I write. *sigh*

But since she was just using Dylan in this (not real love) I guess it's okay. Blame the song. Which by the way is called "Probably Wouldn't Be This Way" by LeeAnn Rimes

Look it up. It's sets the mood.

~Elizem18