Flashing lights and we
Took a wrong turn and we
Fell down a rabbit hole.
You told me to calm down and get into the car. You said we could get away, escape reality for a little while. I told you no, but you grabbed my wrist and threw me into the old, rusty, black car. We got down to 5th avenue and I saw blue and red cop lights flashing in the distance and I told you-you needed to slow down, but instead you turned down a one-way street. You were driving and I was screaming, before you knew it you were driving us straight down that rabbit hole for the 15th time.
You held on tight to me
'Cause nothing's as it seems,
spinning out of control.
We were falling and you grabbed onto my arm, giving me that certain feeling you give me every, single, time. You make me never know what to think. You say one thing but mean the other. I never know what to think or feel when I'm with you. I look out the shattered window and see the world spinning at 100 miles per hour, just like my mind.
Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?
Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?
Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?
When I first saw you in that parking lot of the local diner your bright green eyes sparkled as they scanned me top to bottom as I smoked a cigarette behind my car. The smoke covered my face but you still saw something in me. You said it was the way I was standing, it looked like I could care less about what was going on. I decided to take you home that night When I got home my drunk mom stumbled up to you and I and started yelling at us for being too young and too stupid. The stairs creaked as we were running up to my bedroom, the one I shared with both of my parents. I was giggling that whole night as we layed up in that queen sized bed. We were 18 and 25-year-olds just trying to figure life out in all the wrong ways.
Didn't it all seem new and exciting?
I felt your arms twisting around me
I should have slept with one eye open at night.
You grabbed me by the waist and pulled me right up against your chest. I was too tired and had too much to comprehend what was going on. You ran your dirty fingers through my uncombed, ratty, brown hair. You told me to just calm down and just relax, everything will be fine.
We found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And we pretended it could last forever
We found our own version of wonderland that very next day in the parking handed me a container and told me to put what was inside into my mouth. I let it rest on my tongue rethinking every decision I had ever made. I knew it was stupid to sleep with a guy I had just met, so why did I do it? Why would I stand back in the same parking lot smoking some sort of contraption your best friend had found just a two nights before?
We found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And life was never worse but never better
When you grabbed me and pulled me into your truck I knew what you were going to do to me. I wanted to tell you no, I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, but I couldn't. The excitement of a new adventure took over those feelings and I knew I should've been scared, but I ignored that and let you take over.
So we went on our way
Too in love to think straight
All alone or so it seemed.
When the car stopped spinning you kept on driving. You put your hand on my leg that was filled with all the scars you had put on me time and time again. You kissed my neck and I went to push you away, "hey, we're just having some fun." We were in a whole other world, no one else but us were there, no one but me and you.
But there were strangers watching
And whispers turned to talking
And talking turned to screams.
You told me no one would see us or see it, you started whispering secrets in my ear. But then I heard a knock, then another, then four more. Before I knew it you were telling me to quiet down and just pretend like they weren't there. "Get away!" I screamed. "Get out!" I pushed you away and then you pulled that thing out of your back pocket. I froze and just stare into your cold eyes. In your scratchy voice, you said, "if you ever do anything or say anything like that to me again I won't be scared to, for real."
Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?
Didn't you flash your green eyes at me?
Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire cat smile?
Oh
Didn't it all seem new and exciting?
I felt your arms twisting around me
It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind.
The people outside were yelling things at us. Your green eyes shot a quick, worried glance in my direction as I sat in the passenger's seat shaking uncontrollably. You put your hand in mine and smiled. That stupid smile. That smile that sent chills down my whole entire body. That stupid smile that made me forget everything I was afraid of.
But darling, we found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And we pretended it could last forever
When we fell down that rabbit hole I didn't know what you were going to do to me. Entirely. I didn't know you were going to give me more of those containers with more of that stuff. You made me scared, terrified, the only thing you ever cared about was yourself.
I reached for you but you were gone
They started coming at us, breaking the windows sending shattered glass into the back of my body. They started unlocking the doors and yelling things into their headsets. I needed you when there was blood dripping down my face or when they started to pull my wrists and I was screaming your name. The sad thing was that the whole time you never needed me, you just needed my short skirts and tight shirts and my 'I will always listen to you' attitude.
I knew I had to go back home
I messed up, you messed me up, I'm a screw-up, I'm not worth anything. I slid my skinny arms out from under their strong grips and tried to escape wonderland. I put a jacket I found in the back of my dress and a pair of black leggings underneath.
You search the world for something else to make you feel like what we had
After I left wonderland you roamed that parking lot to find another girl to screw over, but no one else was stupid enough to fall for you as I did. You found me again when I was helpless sitting on my front porch after my father put a gun to my mother's head. You asked me if I remembered our trips to wonderland and I shook my head, smiling. There I was again back in that black car with that strong odor of what I once wanted to forget.
And in the end in wonderland, we both went mad.
That stupid container. That stupid boy. I hope you never forget that last time you took me to wonderland. When they surrounded us with their tasers and loudspeakers. Again. They told you to put your hands up. Instead, you pulled that thing back out of your back pocket. It blinded all of us when it came in contact with the sun and made us go deaf when you fired. You laid on the ground of the parking lot in wonderland with an open gash of blood in your back. Why you did it is still a mystery, but you know what they say about the people in Wonderland, they all go mad.