What Really Goes on in Sakura's Mind

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto. I am not profiting from this writing.

AN: This is a crack fic inspired by my friend crazedkyuubi58's series of Sakura images.

Fangirl Sakura
She is laying on the ground, beaten and bloody. Groans of pain can be heard. Surrounding her are the other parts of herself.

Pimp Sakura
"Where is my money that you owe me? I asked you several times last week." She snaps her fingers and summons Kuchini Sakura and Dark Sakura to her side. Both of them have blood stains on their gloves.

Fangirl Sakura
"I-I'm sorry... I promise that I'll have it for you soon."

Pimp Sakura
"How soon?"

Fangirl Sakura
"I'm not sure how soon... b-but I promise that you'll be paid."

Pimp Sakura
She snaps her fingers and points to Fangirl Sakura.

Kuchini Sakura/Dark Sakura
They begin to kick Fangirl Sakura, making her grunt and cry in pain.

Nerd Sakura
"Can you please keep it down? I'm trying to read..."

Romance Sakura
"Ooh... Is it a romance novel, perhaps?" Her eyes twinkle in hope.

Lazy Sakura
"Honestly... What makes you think that she's going to read some stupid romance novel? She's obviously reading her studies again."

Nerd Sakura
"It's not going to kill you to expand your mind, you know?"

Lazy Sakura
"Anticipate and avoid, my friend." She yawns and closes her eyes, resuming her nap.

Romance Sakura
She lets out a small huff of disapproval.
"Well, I'm sure that none of you know what love is."

Nerd Sakura
"That's where you're wrong. Naruto has amazing credentials. I find him kinda sexy."

Lazy Sakura
"That Shikimaru..." She makes a sound of approval.
"He's got a little something going on, if you know what I mean."

Sexy Sakura
"I'd be all over any one of those guys. They've all got something that I like." She winks seductively and resumes grooming herself.
"Hell... even some of the girls, particularly Ino and Hinata. I'd like to feel those boobs and give them a squeeze."

Nerd Sakura/Lazy Sakura
"You would, you whore," they said in complete unison.

Romance Sakura
She completely loses herself in a daydream with her and Naruto.

Pimp Sakura
"Alright you two, stop it."

Kuchini Sakura/Dark Sakura
They stop beating up Fangirl Sakura and back off.

Dark Sakura
"You are one lucky little bitch."

Fangirl Sakura
She curls in a ball and softly cries.

Pimp Sakura
"Now then... Will I have my money this week?"

Fangirl Sakura
She nods weakly and sniffles.

Pimp Sakura
"That's a good girl."

Sexy Sakura
She looks at the fallen form of Fangirl Sakura and purrs, "Kinky..."

Nerd Sakura
She rolls her eyes and resumes reading her studies.

Lazy Sakura
"Meh.."

Pimp Sakura
"Come on you two. We have more important matters to attend to."

Kuchini Sakura/Dark Sakura
They follow Pimp Sakura into another area obediently.

Innocent Sakura
She had watched over the events of all the Sakura's activities and until now remained totally silent. Her eyes brightened and she blushed.
"You know who I'd like to sleep with one day? The Hokage!"

AN#2: What do you think? How would you react to Innocent Sakura's statement? How do you think the other Sakura's reactions were? Post them in your reviews!

AN#3: This is my very first Naruto fic, so don't be hatin on me. My friend really wanted me to type this out. I hope you enjoyed this crack fic x3