X
Righting the wrongs – Moonlit
X
In the light of a full moon shining high above Rosewood, Caleb walked along Main Street with no clear destination on his mind whatsoever.
Fresh air. He needed some fresh air. And a large portion of greasy, fried food to fill his stomach after having been out and about for most of the day, trying to talk some sense into himself.
The cool night air was starting to help a little. How the hell had he ever gotten into this mess? How could he be in a relationship with a woman he didn't love and, when she didn't look, make sad puppy dog eyes at another woman whom he knew for sure he could never have.
He had once had her.
And then he had lost her.
Not just that one time when he'd had a short fuse and left her.
Once again, his mind kept replaying the scenes in his head… their argument about her putting her job before him… her leaving him to go on a business trip even though they had had other plans for that particular day… him ripping his clothes from the hangers in their closet in a moment full of defiance and misery… him leaving his phone behind in an act of complete childishness and revenge.
The tears that he had managed to keep in for the past hours since his argument with his girlfriend were starting to break out, he could feel it. Bringing his coat-clad arm to his face, he wiped the small droplets away from his eyes in an angry move.
He had left her place after that argument had made him realize that they were both being in different places concerning their relationship. When he had walked all the way up to the Apple Rose Grille, he stood in front of the building, rooted to the spot, trying to calm himself down. He refused to let anyone see him in his current condition.
Clenching his fists in the pockets of his coat, he failed to reach peace of mind. He simply had fucked up. Big. And not just that one time. He had failed to keep the love of his life on three different occasions. He had lost her to her job – instead of finding ways to cope better with her work schedule. He had lost her to Jordan – instead of returning back home with repentance and fighting to win back her love after his travels through Europe. And he had lost her to the mental damages which A.D.'s abduction of her had left behind – instead of holding on to a relationship that he knew had been doomed from the beginning because his heart had still been occupied by another woman.
To this day, he still felt so tremendously guilty for what had happened to her in the wake of that abduction. He had let her be the bait for a stalking perpetrator without taking a hundred per cent care of her safety. After she had been able to flee from torture and captivity, his one true love had shut down her walls again, retreating to her engagement and respecting his relationship to her own best friend. His hatred towards this. A.D. person had since grown exponentially. It angered him to no ends that he had once effortlessly managed to tear down her walls when now she wouldn't even allow him to be near her.
Caleb drove his fingers through his hair, blinking into the large windows of the restaurant in search of random familiar faces. When he couldn't detect any, he took a deep breath, readying himself in order not to sound like a Welby Sanitarium inmate that had been let out on parole.
After he had gone inside to order a helping of French fries to go and gotten his food, Caleb was out on the curb again, the food stuffed into the pockets of his jacket.
He looked up into the moonlit sky, thinking hard about what he was supposed to do now. He had no idea where he should go but he kept on walking through the empty streets, every so often reaching inside his pocket to pull a single fry from its packet and shoving it into his mouth.
When the food had helped fight the sensation of hunger, his mind cleared up a little.
The day had been a complete disaster, he concluded when he thought about the fact that he had not only caused his girlfriend, who was also still his friend, sorrow, but he had lied to her about his true feelings in order to keep up the pretense that he had gotten over his one true love once and for all.
It had been a lie. He knew now and he had known it then. But his fear of ending up all by himself again outgrew his disgust for telling lies. He had been alone for three long years, and Spencer had somehow filled the void in his heart. But she could not mend it.
Only one woman in the world could do that. And she was never going to let him get close to her again.
Her image flashed through his mind. Beautiful blue eyes, a long enticing blonde mane and the cutest dimples belonging to the most heartwarming smile.
Hanna.
His heart skipped a beat just thinking of her pretty face, and his arm came up again to wipe away any sort of proof that he clearly hadn't gotten over her at all when another bout of tears was welling up in his eyes.
She was no longer his to cry over. He had been the one to break things off between them and he had signaled her that he was moving on now by starting a romantic relationship with their mutual friend.
On a day like today, he couldn't even tell what had drawn him to Spencer in the first place. She was no Hanna and she would never ever become her. The argument he'd had with Spencer today had made him realize that he would never be the winner in this equation although he had been the one in control of everything, as he had thought.
What he hadn't taken into account properly, was the fact that seeing Hanna again for the first time after all these years had completely messed up his brain. He had lost control of his feelings in the split second that he had found out about Hanna's engagement to another guy.
How could she have moved on without him? What had he been expecting? That a perfect ten like her would live her life in complete loneliness?
Sure, the guy she was now living with – and doing things with that he didn't even dare to think of or else he would drive his jeep off the next cliff.
Hanna.
He wanted to see her so badly right now to redeem his guilty conscience for lying about his true feelings for her today. He had only said those things in order to stay in a relationship just so that he could be in a relationship while Hanna was, too.
There had once been the strong need inside of him to show Hanna that he'd been able to move on, too. But this need had now vanished. Caleb no longer wanted to be stuck with a pretend girlfriend. He did really like her and that turned out to be the problem. She had fallen in love with him, and he… had not.
So he had worked his way all the up to the point where Spencer was now starting to have doubts about his intentions. Today had marked the day that she had found out about his kiss with Hanna a while back at the Lost Woods Resort.
God, he wished that he could take back the things he had said to her during their discussion a few hours ago. Not the things he had said about how part of him will always love Hanna. No. The part about him wanting to be with Spencer. Caleb knew he had to end it… even it was just to give Hanna a sign that he would be available again, should she ever decide to stick with what she had told him before their kiss.
He wanted to take back the lies he had told about how his kiss with Hanna had meant nothing to him when in fact it had meant the world to him, igniting the thought inside of him that everything would be alright again between the two of them. That was everything that his still heartbroken self still wanted.
He had built his hopes on a fragile kiss, had wished that they'd be able to continue with what they had started as soon as their plan to catch A.D. offhandedly succeeded. Encouraged by Hanna's confession that she had never stopped loving him, he had planted a kiss on her lips. Her eyes and her lips had given him a silent permission after he had been seeking it in her face. But then Aria and Ezra had entered the room and just like that, the kiss had been over.
He'd give anything to feel her lips on his lips again. Just one more time, if he couldn't have her forever.
Within those five seconds that he was allowed to kiss her, everything had come flooding back to him… every tiny detail of why he had once fallen so hard for this girl, every elaborate argument of why he would fall for her over and over again, now that she had turned into an even more beautiful, mature woman.
His pace had quickened. His body seemed to move on its own volition, knowing exactly where it wanted to be right now. Caleb had long left Main Street, walking through the quiet of the evening with confident strides. His tears had subsided and there was even an air of boldness surrounding him when he entered the building that his heart had led him to.
Checking his phone, which had been sitting in his pants' back pocket muted for the last two hours, he made sure it was a decent time to make his move. There were some things he needed to get off of his chest. He had to pull through with it even if Hanna might not be in the right place to hear him out tonight. Heck, for all he knew, she could be with him right now, again doing unspeakable, no, unthinkable things with him.
His trembling hand reached for the phone again, pondering for a moment if he should rather call her in advance to make sure he was not there. But then he decided to make a full-blown appearance, meant to shake her world. Hanna needed to see him like this, raw and no longer considerate, by all means vulnerable. She surely couldn't say no to having a drink or two with him if he showed up on her doorstep uninvited if he kept his confidence.
With the phone safely deposited in his pants again, Caleb stuck his arm out to knock on the door of Lucas' loft where she was currently living.
He knocked once, twice, three times before his heart sank and all courage left him.
She wasn't home.
X
"Fuck!" his angered voice echoed through the empty hallway right in front of her apartment. He leaned his body against the wall next to her door and sank to the floor.
After sitting there for countless minutes, waiting and hoping that she would turn up any moment now, perhaps coming home from a night out with the girls, his confidence was dwindling. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Caleb struggled to come up with a new plan.
The girls.
A new thought came up. Time for plan B. This wasn't how he had imagined it should be, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And Caleb Rivers had never been as desperate as tonight.
He pulled his phone out yet again. Checking his contacts, his finger swept over the first name on the list.
Aria hadn't been at home either, but at least she had been able to tell him where to look for Hanna. Upon hearing where she was spending her evening, his carefully constructed plan blew up right in his face.
Or it was a sign to get up his ass and finally set things right.
As he stepped outside onto the street again, the night had gotten chillier and streaks of clouds were moving across the sky every now and then, obscuring the full moon. Caleb increased his speed as he strode all the way back to where he had come from earlier that evening.
Twenty minutes later, Spencer's barn appeared in his view, and he saw that the light inside was still on.
Caleb slowed down until he reached the driveway of the Hastings' property that led to the barn which was set back from the street by a few yards. He paced the sidewalk while trying to come up with the right words that he desperately needed to say to her.
Soon, he felt ready and so he set his foot onto the muddy ground leading him away from the street. His knees turned wobbly as he walked up the driveway. It took him three times of breathing in deeply until he had enough courage to lift his arm and knock on the door.
After waiting a couple of seconds, he knocked again.
Too his surprise, there was no answer.
X
Inside the barn, Hanna and Spencer had both been busy drying their hair after they had both successively taken a hot shower. Spencer was first to notice the distant knock. She grabbed Hanna's arm clad in a fuzzy bathrobe in order to get her attention while the blow-dryer was blocking out almost all sound. Hanna paused and looked at Spencer questioningly. "What?" came her drowned out voice.
Spencer reached for the blow-dryer and turned it off. "Did you hear that?" She asked her.
"The blow-dryer? Yeah, it sounds like there's a cable break inside. It keeps changing the temperature, too. I almost singed the hair above my ears." Hanna said, unawares of her friend's changed composure.
With unmissable fear in her eyes, Spencer walked over to the bathroom door, closer to the source, waiting for any more noises coming from outside the barn. "What is it?" Hanna asked when she finally noticed that Spencer was on high alert.
"Didn't you hear that knock on the door?" her voice sounded deeply concerned. Guilt over what she and her friends had done that day – burying Alison's ex-husband after he had died in a case of vehicular manslaughter – threatened to override her. Had the police already uncovered Rollins' death?
Then all of a sudden, a familiar voice called out her name.
"Spencer?" came Caleb's slightly suppressed yell as he didn't intend to wake the neighborhood.
He pressed his ear to the door and listened carefully. When there was no noise coming from inside, he tried to open it and was almost surprised to find it unlocked. But he quickly realized that he wasn't allowed inside when he saw that Spencer had put the door chain on.
The two girls had found their breath again, yet Spencer's face betrayed her emotions when she noticed it was Caleb who wanted to see her. She cringed and stepped back from the door, willing to sit this one out in the bathroom until he would disappear again.
However, Hanna was one step ahead of her. The doorknob already in her hands, she turned around again. "I'll tell him to leave, okay?" She said to her friend who responded with a weak nod.
Caleb called out her name again. "Spencer?" And then suddenly, he could hear faint footsteps coming closer.
"Spencer, I know you're in there," Caleb tried one last time before changing his plan.
"Caleb? Is that you?" The blonde said while hiding behind the door. She didn't want him to see her for fear that his ability to read her frightened face – even after all these years – would tell him all about their attempt to make a dead man's body disappear tonight.
Caleb's heart suddenly felt so full, hearing her voice say his name. He had heard from Aria that she would be here, but when he actually heard her voice, his brain seemed completely fogged up. The prospect of being able to tell her all the things he'd been meaning to say since their kiss had been interrupted and, moreover, since she had dismissed their kiss at the Lost Woods as nothing more than a fleeting moment in time, caused the tears in his eyes to well up again.
"Um, is Spencer there?" Since this was her place, he had assumed she'd be here, but for what he had in mind, he preferred telling Hanna in private. He had to make sure if she was there.
Hanna's mind was reeling. She turned to look back at the bathroom door where Spencer had suddenly appeared, vigorously shaking her head and forming a muted "No!" with her mouth, thinking that it would make him leave quickly if they denied her presence.
"Uh, no. She's not here. She went out to get some take-out food," Hanna cringed at how easily the little white lie had slipped from her mouth.
Little did they know that that was just what Caleb had wanted to hear.
And so both Hanna and Spencer exchanged a meaningful look when Caleb stayed behind the still chained door, muttering, "Oh. Good. That's good. Can you let me in please?"
"I… I can't really do this right now," she said upon seeing Spencer's shocked expression. Hanna turned her face away from her friend, anxiously leaning her head against the door to wait and hear if Caleb was leaving now.
"Well, I… I wanna talk to you." Caleb suddenly said in a calm voice, putting as much conviction as possible into it.
Surprised, Hanna looked at Spencer again, searching for advice on how she was supposed to react to his plea.
Caleb was beginning to get restless waiting outside the door and he felt his courage leave him. Why was she giving him such a hard time? After all, she had been the one telling him she was practically still in love with him. He just wanted to tell her that he was feeling the same way about her, in case she hadn't noticed by the way he had kissed her a few weeks ago.
Shutting his eyes tightly in order to keep the tears from streaming down his face, Caleb swallowed hard. All the memories that they had shared, all those lonely months, all the futile effort it had taken him to get over her, he couldn't just give her up like this. Surely, she had been mentally wounded, traumatized even, that day when she had brushed off his gentle approaches, he thought.
"Come on, Han, this is stupid. Please, let me in." He was almost begging her now. And Hanna had to blink down the tears pooling under her eyes now, too. She felt torn between giving in to his efforts and keeping him at bay. After all, he was Spencer's boyfriend now. Her fingers were now touching her lips, playing with them, squeezing them shut in an attempt to keep her innermost thoughts from accidentally spilling out.
After a short moment, she struck a middle course, telling him, "If this is about Lucas' offer, can I just call you tomorrow? I'll call you first thing in the morning," she tried to assure him so he would finally go away and end this more than awkward situation. Spencer had stepped away from the stairs now, leaning against a wall with her eyes closed, unable to witness Hanna's hardship with her own eyes.
On the other side of the door, a small voice was now pleading with her, "No, no. No, wait. Wait! Hanna, please hear me out!"
Caleb inhaled sharply and let his mind speak.
It was either now or never.
"Look, I was an idiot, okay? Everything I did, me leaving you when I thought you had chosen your job over me, it was wrong. I was so wrong, Hanna. Do you hear me? Me and Spencer, that was wrong, too. What happened with her, it was like trying to heal this wound in my heart that I had never been able to forget you."
Hanna's eyes kept fixated on Spencer's torn-up face. When she couldn't bear looking at her friend any longer, she said quietly, "Okay, Caleb. But I really can't hear this right now."
Caleb had barely heard her, so he kept pressing on in order to get his point across, "It was a confusing time for me, you and me being back here in town again and you being engaged to this douchebag. It was like momentary confusion… me trying to catch up on what you had accomplished in the last three years, but that's all it was." Hanna could hear Caleb crying behind the door now. She wanted to tear that door open so badly and leap into his arms, but this just wasn't the right moment. There were still so many unresolved issues between them.
Plus her best friend watching in plain sight.
"I'm begging you, just leave." Hanna managed to speak, her voice hardly more than a whisper.
"Okay, re-re-remember our kiss at the Lost Woods? You and I sitting on that bed together, dreading to text A.D. that you were ready to meet them? We were talking about our break-up in New York and you told me…" He hesitated, sniffling and grabbing a hold of the door, wishing to be strong enough so that he could break the door chain and push the damn barrier out of their way. "You told me you had come back for me and that you hadn't flown to Tokyo that night. And suddenly, I felt this strange connection between us again. Just like it had always been between us, Hanna."
He had given up wiping away any tears that came washing over his face. There was no way he'd leave without having said the most important thing of all. "And when you told me that you never stopped loving me…" His face clenched, fighting against a new wave of tears. From where he was standing, he did not see the two women inside the barn whose faces wore the exact same expression.
One of them was going through all shades of remorse while the other was feeling utterly ashamed of the fact that her relationship had just come to an end, exposed as a fraud in the presence of the third person who, above all, was to blame for all this mess.
"… I couldn't stop staring at your eyes that were traveling back and forth between my eyes and my lips. It suddenly felt like high school all over again, like we both knew the kiss was gonna happen but neither wanted to be the one to make the first move. It was you and me both thinking the exact same thing… you and me both wanting it, Hanna. Can you please just open the door so we can talk? Please?" Caleb kept crying in front of the door and dropped his head. He was not ashamed of his tears, far from it. If anything, he wanted to be completely honest with her. No more lies, he had promised to himself. There was already too little truth out there in the whole town of Rosewood; he couldn't deal with it anymore. "Please?" His voice now barely above a whisper, he brought his face as close as possible to the crack of the door, trying to peek inside.
In a moment lost in emotions and lost in thoughts, Hanna blurted out, "Caleb, I really want to…" But then she stopped talking when she became aware of her surroundings again. Her head turned around, anxiously expecting to find Spencer ready to jump at her. However, her friend just stood rooted to her spot by the wall, staring at an indistinct point somewhere in the distance, a single tear slowly traveling down her face, clearly more in control of herself than Hanna, but with eyes void of any emotion. The way she was acting, Hanna concluded that she had given up. There was no anger, no pain. Just plain defeat.
And so when Spencer failed to look at her in reaction to the dialogue happening between her and Caleb at her own barn, Hanna's face reappeared at the door crack, millimeters away from the opening and from Caleb's face. She was so close to him, separated only by merely an inch of wood, she could almost smell his aftershave. She would have gladly stuck her little finger out for him to see that she had gotten his message. But she was in too much of a shock of the sea change going on around her and she couldn't help but blink down the fresh tears in her eyes emerging at the thought of the mess she had gotten herself into.
"I'm sorry, but I just need more time," she whispered back. And at that, she shut the door by leaning her back against the solid wooden barrier, burying her face in her palms, unable to look at her heartbroken yet silent friend any longer.
Her own heart felt so utterly shaken. Hearing Caleb cry over her had almost torn her. There had been so much love in his words.
Using her fluffy bathrobe, Hanna wiped off her tears and tilted her head back. She needed to do something.
Just as she was about to push herself away from the door, Spencer's voice broke the silent tension in the room, "Just go."
When Hanna's head came facing Spencer again, she continued, "You should go talk to him." Her voice was calm and her eyes were now gazing back at her.
"Spence, I am so sorry." Hanna immediately said. "I didn't know he was gonna come over."
"It's okay. I guess. Kinda confirms what I had been thinking all along," Spencer told her. "I was just a rebound to get back at you for showing up back in Rosewood with a diamond ring as big as your old New York apartment."
Hanna didn't know what to say. For a moment, the two women looked at each other, unsure whether to hug it out or scratch each other's eyes out. But then Spencer found her composure again. "I think you should go now."
X
Outside the barn, Caleb had stood waiting for Hanna to change her mind. When she didn't open the door again, he set his body in motion, unwillingly and slowly. He had been wondering about why she wouldn't even allow him to see her. However, he wasn't able to follow this train of thought when his phone suddenly vibrated in his pants' back pocket.
He pulled it out and saw he had received a text from Hanna.
See you by the swings in ten.
At the blink of an eye, his world was suddenly turning at just the right speed again. He looked at the full circle of the moon, sending a silent prayer to the gods above him.
He started walking faster, hoping and pleading that he wouldn't run into Spencer on her way back from getting take-out. He knew that he still needed to talk to her and draw a finishing line underneath it all, but Hanna signaling she was ready to see and talk to him seemed infinitely more important at this very moment.
Caleb had reached Wright's Playground within six minutes and sat down on the rusty old set of swings that was making low squeaky noises as it moved in the wind.
Four more minutes.
Would she really come? Caleb looked around, checking out his surroundings. It was late at night, but the playground was eerily lit by the bright moonshine. He had been surprised that Hanna wanted to meet him here, a somewhat creepy place at night, ideal for anonymous stalkers to lurk in the shadows. But then again, this was neutral ground, far away from the eyes and ears of the town's people who would surely draw some conclusions. He silently acknowledged her smart move.
Three minutes.
Absentmindedly, his feet scraped through the pebbly underground beneath the swings, killing time. He almost held in his breath in order to hear her steps nearing from the distance.
Two minutes.
There was a creak and a hiss, and Caleb almost jumped off his seat when all of a sudden, two cats yowled and screamed in the shrubbery behind him before scattering in the dark. When his heartbeat had calmed down again, he sat back down on the swings for lack of other places to sit and wait.
One minute.
His head seemed suddenly filled with cotton wool at the idea that she would be here any minute now, in close proximity. At night. Far from the public eye. Far from Spencer, far from Jordan. God, what was he thinking? She's engaged, she's never going to break off her engagement; that new thought was starting to fret him and he tried shaking it off by building up momentum on the swing.
X
With great trepidation, Hanna stood on the other side of the street, across from the playground. She had been standing there for at least two minutes after having run part of the way and only slowing down when the contours of the playground appeared in her line of sight.
If Caleb had looked up right this moment instead of down at his own feet, he could have easily spotted her from afar. At least, she had.
She watched him with folded arms as he swayed back and forth, thinking hard if she should back down and go to Spencer in order to comfort her. But then, seeing him all by himself and remembering the tears he had just shed at the barn because of her, her heart won out over her conscience.
Would she have the courage to admit her true feelings before it was too late? What if she lost him because of her own stubbornness?
Now that she had finally come to terms with her true feelings, she needed to act on them. Rashness. It used to be one of her most prized character traits. Now she thought way too much. She needed to dive into this situation head first without checking the water.
She needed to show him how she felt without barriers or inhibitions.
Slowly, she set her in body in motion and crossed the street. Alerted by the sound of her footsteps on the gravel, Caleb finally looked up. In an act of politeness, he stood up to meet her, though he wasn't sure whether he should shake her hand or engulf her in a warm hug.
He opted for the safe way and… did nothing.
"Hey," he said out loud instead.
"Hey," she replied shyly.
"I wasn't sure you would come." He sat down on the swing again.
"I texted you that I would and now I'm here," Hanna shrugged as she took a seat on the swing next to his.
"You seemed to be trying to undo a lot of things you've said or done lately," he murmured. instantly regretting his harsh reproach.
At that, her head swung around to search for a hidden meaning in his expression, afraid that he had somehow found out about her car accident and her not-so-accidental shoveling activities. But his face was a blank sheet in the pale moonlight. So she dismissed the idea that he could have had an ulterior motive.
"You know, it's funny that you would say that because I somehow got the feeling that it was you who were trying to undo something."
Her harsh words hit him with a pang. And who was he kidding? He had no right to give her a hard time about anything.
As he desperately pondered ways to break the awkwardness between them, they both swayed slightly back and forth in silence. There was so much, he wanted to tell her, he didn't know where to start with his emotions seemingly on an endless rollercoaster. It totally threw him off that he could practically smell her shampoo and ignored the fact that it was Spencer's.
"I'm hungry," Hanna suddenly said. "Do you wanna go talk at the Brew?"
"Uuuhm…" Caleb pretended thinking about her suggestion, knowing fairly well that he didn't want to go anywhere right now. This was their playground, this was where they had had so many meaningful conversations. Then he remembered something and dug deep into his coat pocket to present the packet of fries to her that he had stuffed in there a while back. "Here. They're probably cold and squishy so you wo-"
"Just the way I like 'em," she disrupted him and smiled before pulling a fry out to shove it into her mouth. Caleb watched her half concerned, half mesmerized at the idea that she could sometimes come across like a princess wearing high fashion and matching accessories only to randomly surprise him at times with an act as lowbrow as this.
While Hanna was munching away on her cold fries, Caleb made up his mind about how he wanted to broach the subject. At first, he needed to find out the current situation with Jordan as he had been wondering where her fiancé was during this whole time after her abduction.
"So, where's Jordan?"
She threw him a sideways look, surprised to hear he'd bring his name into the mix right now. "He's… He's in New York. He has some work to do there."
He nodded in sympathy before anxiously asking, "And what's keeping you here? I mean… Charlotte's dead… A.D. almost killed you… again… When are you planning to go back home?"
When she didn't answer right away, his heart skipped a beat thinking and hoping that he may be the reason for her to stay. Moments later, she whispered back, "I don't know if I ever will."
He didn't like the way she had said that as she had sounded so sad and was avoiding his gaze. Caleb swiveled around with a concerned expression on his face. "Why? What happened?"
Seeing his worried look, Hanna burst out in tears. She kept thinking about the latest lie she and her friends had come up with and knew she was finally at a point where she couldn't hold it in any longer. She missed Caleb and she missed being able to tell him everything when on the other hand, she hadn't told Jordan anything about the things that had gone on in Rosewood for so many years.
With his eyes still gazing at her glistening face in the moonlight, Caleb let go of the rusty chain and held out his hand for Hanna as a sign that he was offering his support and had a sympathetic ear for her.
But before she accepted it, she yanked off her fake engagement ring and threw it into the bushes behind her. Caleb had to do a double-take, thinking he had just reached his goal at this moment.
"Why did you do that?" He asked in order to gain assurance. "Hanna?"
Sniffling, she cracked a smile and finally answered, "Some kid is gonna be very disappointed when they find it in some kind of scavenger hunt or something. It cost only $39,99." When she saw his questioning look, she explained, "It's fake. Okay? It was a fake ring. Jordan and I have been broken up for a while. I gave my engagement ring back to him after our break-up and bought a cheap knockoff so none of you guys would find out and ask any questions about why I am being so stupid."
Somewhere in the trees near them, an owl hooted and instinctively, both their heads tilted back to detect where the noise was coming from before turning to look at the huge moon's disk. Caleb gulped as he processed this turn of events.
Right in that moment, Hanna softly intertwined her fingers with Caleb's as they each stared at the sky above them. A strange fluttering in her stomach alerted her of an unfamiliar nervousness that she hadn't felt around him in a really long time.
As Hanna's fingers laced through his, Caleb gasped audibly. It was unexpected, but so wonderful. The feeling of her soft, cold hand against his elicited an awesome sensation in every nerve ending in his body.
They had held hands hundreds, if not thousands, of times. But this time was different. The simple gesture took on an entirely different meaning.
It was a declaration, a sign of insight and forgiveness on both sides.
There and now, Caleb felt that it was enough just being with her. More than enough. He didn't need anything more at the moment. He wasn't sure how he had lived without holding her hand in a steady grip for three years.
The air was thick. An unspoken mutual feeling of intense love and admiration welled up between them.
Noticing Caleb had tilted his head forward again and was now staring at her instead of the moon, Hanna brought her head back down and gazed at him sideways, deep into his eyes — it wasn't a deer in the headlights stare, but more as if she were searching for something in the darkness of his eyes. And then she saw that he was suddenly smirking.
"So, our kiss did mean something to you?" He broke the silence.
"Of course, you idiot," she told him with a voice that was barely audible.
He scoffed lightly and smiled back at her. "I guess I really am an idiot for throwing away the one perfect thing that I had in my life."
"So, things with Spencer aren't working out that well?" She asked innocently in order to cover up the fact that she had been there to witness the disintegration firsthand.
He looked at her with an expression as if he were questioning her sanity.
"I meant you, Han." Caleb said softly. "It's always been you." When she didn't say anything in return, he continued, "I like Spencer, but… she's in love with me and I am not. Not with her, anyway."
At that, she squeezed his hand in silent understanding.
"Hanna? When you were abducted and we found the doll with your mask in the bell tower, I realized that I was more worried about you than I was about her. If that had really been you, hanging in the ropes high up above me, I never would have been able to forgive myself."
"Caleb, it's not your fault. No-one could have predicted A.D. would come through a hole in the floor."
"That's not what I mean." He sounded a little anguished now. "I let you be the bait for A.D. because I felt that I'd had no right to keep you from doing it. I had no idea if we were still friends or just friendly partners in a scheme to put out your enemy. I still don't know where I'm at when it comes to you. I mean you kissed me back at the Lost Woods. Don't you just sit there and deny it!"
"I'm not denying it," she told him quietly, but he was on a roll.
"You basically said you were still in love with me. But then two days later you're just standing there pretending like nothing ever happened, blaming it on a moment of fear when we both know that that's not all there is to it.
"You are dating my best friend, Caleb. And I… no wait, we both cheated on her. That's not something that I can just sweep under the rug. After all, I gave her permission to fall in love with you. I told her that I had gotten over you."
"But you… haven't?" Hope lit up in his heart that was hammering heavily against his ribcage as he tried to make sense of her words.
"Seeing you so at home with Spencer was the hardest thing I ever had to live through, worse than being tortured by A.D.," she mumbled at the verge of tears.
"Then why did you pretend that our kiss didn't mean anything to you?" he breathed back at her. "That nearly killed me."
"Because I was scared," she blurted out, looking up at the trees again when a bird had jolted at her loud voice and flown away.
"About what?"
"That I would hopelessly fall for you all over again only to come home after working overtime at some point somewhere down the road to find you may have left me yet again." She was sobbing now. "I have worked so hard to get over you after I'd realized that you would never come back. Or why else would you have left your phone behind than in order to tell me that you never wanted to hear or speak to me ever again?"
"Well, you said it, I'm an idiot," he shrugged, unable to understand his own stupidity at times. "But I'm not an idiot when it comes to reading your face. You don't think I wondered why the hell Jordan wasn't here for you all this time? If you had really loved him, you would have gone back home as soon as possible. Hanna, why didn't you tell me you had broken up with him?"
"Who's the idiot now, huh?" She smiled weakly, adding, "I don't know. I really don't.
"Well, here's something that I know for sure. I know that it's you that I keep thinking about first thing in the morning and before I go to bed at night. I know that I have fucked up big time by running off to Europe instead of talking things through with you. And I promise that I'll try my best to make it better next time. Because I want this… us… to work. But what about you? Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
Swaying sideways, she bumped gently against his seat. Then she reached over and caressed his face, running a couple of fingers along his hairline by his eyes and down to his jaw.
It was an intimate gesture and more of an answer than Caleb had hoped for. He thought she might be teasing him, but the doubtful look had disappeared from her face. She seemed sincere. He was sure his heart was about to burst through his chest from beating so fast and strong.
Her fingers returned to his forehead and pushed a lock of hair back and then continued over and through his hair. She stretched her back to reach to the back of his head. Trying to keep her balance with only one hand holding on to the chain, it caused her head to tilt back a little bit. Her mouth opened a crack and he could feel her warm breath on his skin.
Caleb's own breath was caught in his chest as she remained in this position, contemplating his face. He wondered what new facet of it had attracted her attention, but he couldn't speak. Speaking required breathing and currently, he still held his breath, unable to move even that tiny bit.
Hanna wavered as she lost her balance and Caleb's arms automatically caught her as they both raised themselves to come to a standing position, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. Her slow burning stare hadn't faltered. Her arm around his neck tightened, moving her face within inches of his. She closed her eyes and breathed his name.
He said her name back in a whisper that only a person standing as close as Hanna now could detect.
It was her lips that touched his first as Caleb was too in shock to move. As soon as he felt their warmth, he was sure every muscle in his body would tense. Yet, the only muscle to do so was that of the arm wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer as the rest of him relaxed into her embrace. He felt her other arm join the first around his neck and he heard the thud and jingle of the two abandoned swing sets clanking together in the quiet of the night.
Her heart rate had doubled, trying to outrace itself. Caleb sensed and then felt her mouth open wider. Her tongue darted to his lips, but then retreated. He heard her moan, pulling herself closer to his face, wanting the kiss to deepen.
Hanna also heard the sound and she pulled back, almost with embarrassment at her brazenness. He followed her, keeping their lips together. She became stiff for a flash of a moment and he considered withdrawing, but then she relaxed again as if accepting fully this decision she had made to change their lives for the better. He playfully licked her lips, teasing her mouth to reopen, which it did. No hesitation this time as her tongue danced with his between them.
A light drizzle came falling from the sky and the once full lunar globe was now partially covered by thick, barely moving clouds.
Eventually, Hanna removed her mouth from his entirely. She placed her forehead against his, and together they stood, ignoring the change in the weather as they tried to catch their breath and to grasp the significance of what had just happened between them.
They had kissed a million times before, but this had felt like the first time all over again.
The last time, Caleb had kissed her in the face of an unknown fate. That kiss had been a kind of farewell, full of longing and unfulfilled promises.
But this kiss was a tentative tip-toeing, yet passionate and as if to test how well their lips melded together. Nothing quite compared to what they had just shared. There was no reason to hurry, no reason to break it off this time for nobody was there who could have caught them in the act.
As the seconds ticked by, the raindrops magnified. Hanna and Caleb looked at the clouds above them before gazing back at each other. The tension between them had disappeared and the emission of happiness hormones automatically conjured up a smile on their faces.
Long moments later, the downpour had increased and Caleb finally noticed that Hanna wasn't wearing a jacket. "Here, let me give you my coat, you must be freezing."
Hanna didn't want to get in on why she had left part of her clothes at Spencer's barn, so she gladly accepted his offer and slipped the coat on that he politely held out for her.
"Can I walk you home?" He asked anxiously, not wanting the night to end so soon.
Noticing how the weather kept getting worse, Hanna yelled back in an effort to drown out the rain, "Walk? I think we better run." And with that, she took his hand and started speeding down the street. It wasn't long before they reached the door to the apartment block where Hanna was currently living.
When they had come to a standstill, Caleb remembered how she had said that she would need more time. Afraid that he would be moving too quickly if he asked for her permission to take her upstairs, he let go of her hand and brushed a sweet kiss against her lips before telling her, "You're gonna catch a cold out here, you should get inside."
Her lips looked too enticing, he couldn't resist kissing her once more. "Can I call you in the morning?" he asked hopefully.
"How early is morning in your books?" She enquired playfully.
Knowing about her preference for sleeping in, Caleb carefully suggested, "Uuuhm, I don't know. Around 9?" But seeing the slightly disappointed look on her face, he conceded and added, "30-ish?"
When she pouted and asked, "Can't you make it any earlier than that?", he knew that he had drawn the wrong conclusion and smiled at her, enjoying the fact that she obviously couldn't get enough of him either. But she had been right, they should take their time. He dreaded it but he still needed to have an honest discussion with Spencer in order to tell her that their relationship, had it ever really been any, wasn't meant to be.
Their lips found each other again before Caleb gently nudged her towards the front door of the building.
"Good night, Hanna."
"Good night, Caleb."
She turned around one more time and pushed his coat off of her shoulder before handing it back to him. Caleb put the wet piece of clothing on and secretly inhaled deeply so he would catch a whiff of her scent in order to have something to tide him over on his way home. Then he turned on his heels and started walking away.
Protected by the small roof covering the entrance of her apartment building, Hanna stood on the stoop, her arms folded to keep herself warm, looking after him as he slowly receded from her view.
When Caleb had made it a couple of yards down the street, he stopped and swiveled around, checking to see if she had actually gone inside.
She hadn't.
Instead, he could see her standing on the sidewalk, rubbing her arms. All of a sudden, he heard her call out his name loudly. "Caleb?"
Failing to detect through the thickness of the pouring rain, what kind of emotion had caused her to call his name, he yelled back, "What?"
Hanna wasted no energy to scream her response. She came scooting towards him, and there was nothing left for him to do than embrace her with open arms. A second later, she was back with him, safely engulfed by his warmth, despite his wet clothes. Their lips were like magnets, instantaneously drawn together.
They held each other tightly, kissing like there would be no tomorrow.
Gasping, their lips parted after an endless moment, and they stood looking at each other in wonderment, ignoring the heavy thuds of the raindrops falling down on them until finally, Caleb came to his senses again. "Han, you're soaked. I mean… I'm soaked, too, and I don't care, but you… you should really get inside and take a hot shower." He brought his hand up to wipe away some wet strands of her hair that stuck to her forehead. His thumbs traced the contours of her face, wiping all droplets away as if to unveil her full beauty behind the mist.
His concern for her well-being was eye-opening. It was all she needed to hear and see to make her decision within a split second.
"Wanna come inside with me?" She tried to make herself heard above the clattering noise of the rain. Upon seeing him react with a broad smile, she reciprocated the gesture and went on to add, "We could share a towel."
THE END