A/N: First fic, if you like it you'll read it and if not you won't.
I'm like pictures and music so you'll see links on my profile. I also put music links at the bottom if you're interested.
This story is M rating for a reason: drug use, violence, bad language and most certainly lemons and all that good stuff. For mature audiences only so if you ain't old enough, don't read please.
Disclaimer: I'm covering my ass here… I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. They belong to the lovely and talented Stephanie Meyer. And just in case I don't own any of the music that will be talked about, they belong to my favorite and oh so talented musical artists.
No Beta so may have errors. I read it till it doesn't make sense anymore so if you find something let me know.
-Love is Blindness-
Chapter 1:
Edward Cullen lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply enjoying the liberating feeling of getting away from Hollywood. To the world he was known as Anthony Masen two time Oscar winner and three time Grammy award winner. The constant fans, the constant papz, the constant being told what to do or say from agents, trainers, producers and directors had worn him down.
After devoting the last ten years of his life to movies and making music he decided he needed a break. He was losing his sanity and his individuality. He considered himself 'a fucking robot'.
He was just one pill away from being totally lost to them. He knew it, his friends knew it, and his fans knew it. He hadn't spent any time with his family or closest friends in over three years.
"Welcome to the Lodge, is there anything you'd like to drink tonight?" asked a beautiful blond with pearly white teeth. Mike was already giving her the I-want-to-fuck-you-eyes and for some reason it always worked on women.
"I'll have any Lager you got on tap and a Long Island for the hot Blond next to me," Emmett replied with his boisterous voice. Said hot blond was named Rosalie Hale, Sports Illustrated model and Emmett's longest girlfriend as of yet.
"Make sure that's top shelf," Rosalie replied as she checked her nails.
"I'll have a Strawberry Margarita, hold the salt," replied the extremely talented-woman-with-a-mouth Bree Tanner or at least that was Edward's personal opinion. Bree was Rosalie's friend and coworker which meant she was also a Sports Illustrated model.
"Oh and can you make it on the rocks, it's too cold to have it frozen."
Bree was very attractive with her 5'10 slender frame, blond hair, blue eyes and recently enlarged breasts but she wasn't always the sharpest tool in the shed.
They were currently in beautiful as hell but cold as fuck Alaska. Edward couldn't fathom how she thought downgrading from a frozen drink to a drink on the rocks would be less cold. He couldn't help but internally roll his eyes.
"I'll have a Lager on Tap as well, oh and can you get us a round of your best Whiskey please," replied Edward once the waitress looked to him next. The waitress smiled politely at him and then turned to Mike.
"Same for me sweetness," Mike replied as he wagged his eyebrows at the blond.
"Sure thing, I'm Jessica by the way," replied the blond flirtatiously as she walked away.
"I'll have her panties in my pocket by tonight," Mike remarked as he threw up his fingers to his mouth in a rather crude gesture alluding to eating pussy.
"How you've managed to get laid at every pit stop is beyond me," Edward laughed out.
"You're a fucking pig," sneered Rose while Bree played with her cell phone. That girl tweeted or facebooked about everything she was doing when she was doing it.
Since it had been so long that Edward had taken a vacation and hung out with his boys they decided to plan a road trip. It was always something they did together. They would each take turns picking a place on the map and then plan out all the routes and pit stops along the way. For the longest time they always spoke about one day conquering the Alaskan Highway all the way from Seattle to Anchorage. They knew it was a pretty treacherous drive but also quite the adventure not to mention the beauty of Alaska. At least that's what they've been hearing about since they started planning this trip a year ago.
Unfortunately it was supposed to be just the boys but Emmett McCarty was somehow roped into bringing Rose along and since she didn't want to be the only girl she brought Bree along. Now the boys were stuck with Emmett and Rose who rarely slept because of all the fucking they did and Bree, who had no qualms about sticking Edward's dick in her mouth, was growing quit clingy as of late.
Fortunately Michael Newton being the horny son of a bitch he was didn't feel like the fifth wheel since he'd managed to get laid more than anyone riding in the car.
"Here you go. So may I ask what brings you all to Sterling?" Jessica asked when she brought the drinks.
"Well this fucker works too much and well we finally managed to drag him away long enough to finally realize our dream of driving through the Alaskan Highway," Emmet bluntly stated. Edward rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he was the only one with a busy life. Emmett was famous for his knack of extreme sports. But now that he recently retired and moved to Los Angeles he's been busy with his own line of sportswear and sports equipment. And Mike was a graphic designer for a multi-million dollar corporation in San Francisco.
The three of them grew up in the small town of Forks, Washington. One of the things that drove them to be the best of friends since they were little kids was there capacity to find trouble or make it. They were always so adventurous which led to them always doing incredibly stupid things. Another quality they each had was their drive to go after their dreams. It was no wonder they were so successful.
But sadly that success as of late was causing Edward who was only 29 to burn out quickly. He physically felt as though he was in his fifties.
He loved his job, the idea of having the opportunity to be someone different, to travel the world, to star in movies with actors or actresses he idolized are beyond what he ever expected. But unfortunately there is an ugly side to showbiz that is rarely ever shown. It's like the brown smelly stuff at the end of the day no one likes to talk about.
No one ever told him he would never sleep or eat when and what he wanted. No one told him that he basically became everyone's bitch and just did whatever he was told. No one told him that he would be constantly stalked by photographers and psychotic fans who thought they knew his soul. No one told him that his personal life was fair game for everyone to fuck with and put in their two cents. Or that he no longer had any opinions and ideas. Or that everyone would want to be his friend or fuck him just because he was the flavor of the month and when you're down on your luck everyone turns their backs on you.
It was no wonder so many in the business were or on their way to being junkies or rehab. Either you used because you had the money and the fame to party like a rock star. Or you used just to help forget because being in the spotlight is the loneliest place to be. Not to mention the drugs needed to help them sleep or perk them up when they have the worst jet lag and still have 10 hour's worth of photo shoots or press junkets to do. Either way, they were placed on pedestals and meant to appear perfect. And when they actually fell off that pedestal or proved to the world that they were indeed just human they would get hung to dry by the media and fans because of it.
Yes, showbiz wasn't as glamorous as so many thought it was. But once you were in, you were in. It was a drug all in itself and Edward didn't know how to get out or that he even wanted too.
Suddenly Edward was pulled from his musing when he felt long fingernails on his thigh slowly working their way up to his cock. And although his cock responded happily he was less than enthused. The last thing he wanted was to be sitting in a dark bar surrounded by his best friends with a fucking hard on.
"Stop," he whispered over to Bree as he stopped her hand from moving any further. Emmett and Mike were both talking about the latest ski resort down in Anchorage that they've wanted to check out.
"Why? You were totally ignoring me. I kept talking but it was like you were somewhere else," Bree whispered into his ear as she squeezed his thigh.
Edward grew up in good family with four sisters and was never one for cheap one night stands with random women or casual sex. He had the perfect model parents that truly loved one another and since he grew up with a lot of women in the home he grew up to value them and respect them.
But over the years and many failed relationships he'd come to just rely on casual sex. It was just too difficult trying to find a connection with someone when you're a celebrity. You never know if they're being real or fake.
"Bree I really don't feel like having a fucking hard on right now," he whispered harshly and then flicked his ash into the ashtray.
"Well then we can always go to the back," she whispered just when the lights turned off.
The room was now completely dark except for the glow coming from the candles that were lit on each table as well as the bar's accent lights. The patrons suddenly cheered and clapped. For a small town and for it being freezing ass outside the place was fairly packed.
Suddenly there were shadows of people walking onto the stage.
"Cool live band," Emmett said as he chugged the rest of his beer.
"Don't get excited honey they may play some honky music or something," Rosalie replied as Bree snickered.
After a few moments and everyone on stage appeared to be settled the singer sat on a stool and lit a cigarette. After a minute a hauntingly melodic song began. Edward recognized the song right away, they were playing a cover song from U2 'Love is blindness'.
The stage was suddenly illuminated by blue lights when a raspy and soulful voice began to sing.
Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night
Around me
Oh my heart
Love is blindness
In a parked car
In a crowded street
You see your love
Made complete
Thread is ripping
The knot is slipping
Love is blindness
Love is clockworks Love is blindness
And cold steel
Fingers too numb to feel
Squeeze the handle
Blow out the candle
Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night
Around me
Take my heart
It is Blindness
Love is hard and love is tough
Love is not what you're thinking of
Edward couldn't describe the feeling he was having. All he knew was that the woman up front had hypnotized him. He just allowed himself to get swept away by the electric guitar and the eerie melody and soulfulness of her voice. Her eyes were closed as she took a long drag from her cigarette but he couldn't really make out all her features because even the stage light caste her in shadows of blue hues.
Love is drowning in deep well
All the secrets and no one to tell
Take the money honey
Blindness
Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night around me
Ohhh love
Is blindness
She turned slightly and hit a few notes on the keyboard next to her with only one hand. He literally got goose bumps as she sang along. When she was done the people clapped and cheered. He couldn't help but join in as well.
"Wow, song was a bit chilly. Loved her rendition though," Mike piped in being that he was a huge U2 fan.
"I'll say," Edward commented as he watched her put out the cigarette in an empty beer bottle. Next to her was a small glass of which she took a sip from. He was pretty sure it was whisky or maybe brandy. She never addressed the audience before the next song started. She had picked up a guitar and was joined up front by the other guy on stage who switched out his electric guitar for an acoustic one.
They both sat next to each other and began strumming away. Edward recognized this song as well it was from one of his favorite bands Radiohead 'I might be wrong'. Between the dark bar and strange snowy little town he felt relaxed for the first time on the trip. His mind actually just went blank as he just listened to the music.
I might be wrong I used to think Open up, begin again What would I do?
I might be wrong
I could have sworn
I saw a light coming on
I used to think
There is no future left at all
I used to think
Let's go down the waterfall
Think about the good times
And never look back
Never look back
What would I do?
If I did not have you?
"We're just about done here, I'll try to hurry it up before I get too drunk and then I'll turn it over to Alex," she said with smirk as she finished her drink quickly, the crowd let a out a laugh, "We're 'Breaking Dawn' if you didn't already know that. Enjoy and thank you for listening, as if you all had a choice," she laughed as she lit another cigarette.
"Honestly, if you could all carry on with your conversations and drinking and just ignore us for the next ten minutes or so that be great," She pushed aside the stool and adjusted her mic stand. Edward couldn't help but feel a strange pulling sensation when she smiled shyly at no one in particular.
The next few songs were really good and unrecognizable to him so he thought perhaps they were original works. He loved the lyrics and the haunting melodies along with her sultry voice. After alluding to the fact that the audience had no other choice but to listen to her, he could tell that the crowd more than likely came just to hear her sing because from the moment she started singing everyone quieted down and gave her all their attention.
He recalled his first time singing in bars. By the time he would get on everyone was already drunk and therefore would talk over his performance. But that wasn't the case here. More than likely they were a local band and the crowd liked.
Eventually their time was up and they cleared the stage for another singer. Edward wanted to go up to her and ask her what her name was. Perhaps buy her a drink. But as he watched her go over to the bar he could see she already had a few drinks waiting for her and a small group of guys already talking to her. He watched unabashedly as she threw her head back and laughed at whatever they were telling her.
It wasn't hard to see that some of these guys found her attractive; it was all in the way that they'd every once in a while look down and stare at her tits or her plump ass.
"The band was pretty good," Emmett said as Rose got up with Bree to use the restroom.
"Yeah, the girl seems hot maybe I should make my way over to her. Buy her a drink and then fuck her in the storage closet," Mike said as he kept his eyes on her.
"What? I thought you wanted the waitress?" Edward piped in when he realized his friends were talking.
"Hey, who said I didn't… what's that saying 'I like to have my cake and eat it too'," Mike laughed as Emmett gave him a fist bump.
"Besides we're only going to be in this town for the night and head out tomorrow morning," Mike replied nonchalantly.
"What's up with you man you've been quiet… you still thinking about work man?" Emmett asked as he looked over at Edward. He could tell that something was constantly plaguing his friend's thoughts. It happened each and every time he and Edward found time to hang out, it would take a few days for Edwards old self to reemerge. Hollywood had done a number on him. But as he saw him eyeing the girl at the bar every few minutes he re-thought his earlier assumption.
"Or is it that chick that just finished singing? Man if you want her go for it, don't trip about Bree man. She knows you two ain't a solid thing bro," replied Emmett, he hadn't seen Edward show any interest in anything for the longest time. Which was one of the downside's of always being given what you want without working for it.
Edward snapped his eyes over to his friend who had a knowing smile and was nodding his head.
"Nah, it's neither of those. Just you know enjoying the place. It actually reminds me a little of home, doesn't it?" Edward quickly changed the subject as he shrugged and finished off his beer.
"Yeah, I guess it does," Emmett commented as he recognized Edward's way of avoiding a subject.
"I'll be back," Mike piped in as he made his way over to Jessica who was at the bar.
Emmett and Edward both laughed as they saw their friend go in for the kill. Emmett eventually looked back to see Edwards eyes wonder back over to the girl. He was going to tell him to just man up and go over there regardless if Bree was there or that the girl's boyfriend may or may not be one of those guys talking to her.
Emmett had seen firsthand the benefits of Edward's celebrity. Women would blatantly throw themselves at him even when their boyfriends or husbands were standing right next to them. Hell it would happen to him as well as he too was somewhat of a celebrity as well. Some women just had no shame.
But just as soon as he was about to say something Rose and Bree were already sitting down at the table so he let it go.
The four of them spoke amongst each other and shared a few more beers and a couple more shots. Edward was already down half a pack of cigs and definitely feeling the affects of the liquor.
By the time he came back from the restroom he noticed that the girl was nowhere to be found. He couldn't help but feel a little bummed that he missed his chance to talk to her but perhaps it was for the best. The last thing he wanted was to taint the memory of the slender brunette with a soulful voice just by talking to her and finding that she was just like all the other desperate shallow women he's come across.
He went back to his table and ordered another beer. Mike suddenly appeared out of thin air with a satisfied smile on his face and joined in the fun of hanging and joking around with his friends.
Eventually the evidence of having drunk a little too much and the growing lustrous advances coming from Bree made it clear it was time to head back to the motel. He said good night to his friends as they all made their way over to their own rooms at the Moose Lodge that was thankfully right next to the bar they'd just left.
That night Edward felt only slightly guilty as he pictured the slender brunette as he fucked Bree that night over the table from behind in the room they were sharing.
And he was pretty sure when he fell asleep that night in his own full sized lumpy bed that his mind still pictured her as he recalled her soulful voice.
Songs:
Again the songs used in this story are:
Trespassers William 'Love is Blindless'
Radiohead 'I Might Be Wrong'