[The Grey's Manor]

Meredith lay across her bed, dazed and confused. Just six hours prior she'd met Addison Sheppard. Yes, Sheppard!!! As in, Derek "McDreamy" Sheppard's WIFE! NOT SISTER!

She shook her head and wiped away the tears that found their way down her cheeks. She began to think…..

Have you ever just felt…lost? Like everything that ever happened to you was your fault?...Well, right now, that's how I feel. I fell for a man, and as it turned out, he was already married. It seems that I was made to suffer.

First I lose my father, and when I think that I'm over that hurt…it turns up again, out of nowhere, and it seems that I'm not over it after all.

I try to love, but love works out for me. My internship has its ups and downs, and my friends have their faults, as well…But usually, I can make a pro out of a con…but this time, I don't think I can…

You see, the thing about Derek Sheppard is…he was IT for me…well, at least that was what my heart was telling me. But there was so much more to him then what I thought.

It seems that, though he says he cares for me, he's still married. And we've made love, but of course, when you meet a guy in a bar, what else can be expected of him?? Sure he's going to be a dog, right?? Well, I didn't think so…Or maybe I wasn't thinking at all.

UGH!! I'm just so frustrated!! SOMETHING TOLD ME to be smart and take a second to THINK about what I was doing…But I guess I was to caught up to hear the inner voice inside of me speak….

But then again, if I can hear my inner voice NOW…why couldn't I hear it then?? I mean, my head isn't anymore clearer then it was that night! So…I wonder---

Her thoughts were cut off with the knocking that began to sound at her door. She rolled her eyes and sighed. Rolling out of bed, she ran a hand through her tangled mess a person in their right mind would call hair, and pulled open her door.

And to her surprise, it was Derek. His eyes were wide with anguish. "Meredith!"

Without thinking, Meredith slammed the door.

He began to knock again. "Meredith! Open the door, it's important!"

Meredith sank to the floor, feeling as though all of the air in her lungs was escaping her now. "Derek, go away! I-I don't wanna---"

"Listen, Meredith, I need to talk to you! And…I'd prefer to talk to you face to face…" He looked to the side of him and saw Christina and Izzy standing down the hall in their night clothes, eating ice cream out of their separate boxes.

He smiled unevenly, then focused back on the door. "Mereidth!! It's important!!"

We doctors are suppose to be able to fix ANYTHING…but I think I'm to broken to fix myself this time……

Derek knocked on the door again. "Meredith, please!! At least let me explain!!"

Meredith dropped her head into her hands and sobbed. "No, Derek!! You can't come in!"

He sighed. "And why not, Meredith??" he asked.

She wiped her tears away and tried to hold her head up. "Because, Derek…I'm broken."