Disclaimer: I don't own Lost. Just writing this for fun and out of boredom. Enjoy!
I Carry Your Heart
It wasn't early in the morning. It was late in the morning. The sun was already shining from its highest place, lightening the island. With her baby in her arms, Claire was ambling along the beach, deeply buried in thought. Aaron was sleeping. She hadn't slept all night out of worry about her child. The only soul she had left. Everything that still counted for her. And she had almost lost it.
Charlie. Why had he done that to them?
The drugs. It must have been the heroin. Claire hated him for it. She couldn't imagine that there was no way to get rid of that addiction. There's a solution for everything, she thought. For everything!
"Wanna sit, blondie?"
A voice had ripped her away from her thoughts. When she turned her head, she looked right into the handsome face of Sawyer. He was sitting there, as if nothing had happened last night. With his glasses, holding a book. Just the way she had seen him so many times before. She raised her chin a bit, trying to look confused. "Why would I wanna do that?"
Sawyer shrugged. "Oh, I don't know… probably because you didn't get any sleep last night out of panic… was just thinking you would wanna sit, so I can entertain your little bundly for a while…"
She looked at him silently. Since when does Sawyer care about others?, she wondered.
He grinned at her. "Well, unless you fear I could try to throw your wee one into the water…"
That was when Claire became angry. She glared at him. Him and his damn sarcasm! "Are you just trying to be funny?!"
Sawyer sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I perceive that. Sit down."
Claire rolled her eyes, but she sat down with the baby next to him nonetheless. She didn't know herself why she did. The only reason that sounded plausible to her was the fact that she wasn't in the mood to leave, bearing grudge towards him. She had decided to save her grudge for Charlie.
Sawyer looked up from his book to her. "Well, well… seems your boyfriend lost his mind completely last night…"
"Charlie is not my boyfriend!" she hissed at him. "We were… just friends… at least I thought so…"
Sawyer tried his best not to grin again. It would only make her angry. And he knew best that angry women were beyond all bearing. Especially those with babies! "Sorry, didn't know that. What are you gonna do now?"
She sighed. "John suggested he could move with his tent next to ours… and I find this suggestion quite good…"
Sawyer laughed. "John again! Seriously, baldy won't ever stop! He and Kate are just the same! Gotta know everything, gotta do everything! The word 'rest' doesn't exist in their vocabulary…"
Claire shrugged. "They're doing just the right thing. If I didn't have the baby, I would do just the same. I'm the only one sitting on her arse all day doing nothing – because of Aaron."
She smiled suddenly, rocking him gently in her arms. "But actually, I greatly enjoy it. And with John next to me, nothing's gonna go wrong."
Sawyer grinned at her widely. "Oh, him. Anything he can do, others can do just fine. Sayid is just as capable of it as he is… and believe me, I could protect you just as well, Mamacita."
Claire rolled her eyes. "And there we have the difference. Sayid and John are nicer than you are. And not as conceited and arrogant!"
Sawyer leaned back grinning. "I'm allowed to be arrogant, snookums. Just keep that in mind."
He looked at her, holding his glasses. "Come on, give me the baby. He likes it when I read for him."
Claire pressed her baby onto her chest gently. Not because she didn't trust him, rather because she didn't like Sawyer's behavior. Right now, she didn't like him at all.
"And what makes you so sure I would give him to you that easily?"
"Very simple," he began, showing her the most irresistable grin he could manage. "You like me."
Claire was more than flabbergasted. How could that self-pleased, vain con dare saying something like that?! Her cheeks turned bright red, she got up on her feet.
Sawyer looked up at her airily. "What's wrong? Are you shy?"
Claire's crystal eyes narrowed, she glared at him angrily. Sawyer was pretty sure she would either spit in his face or kick his crotch any moment.
"Are you daft?!"
Sawyer laughed quietly. But it was still a friendly laugh. "Don't act as if you don't know what I'm talking about, blondie. I've seen the way you've been looking at me secretly. And I also know how cute you find the fact that Aaron reacts so delighted on my voice of all people. If you need time to admit it, you'll get it. I'm a very patient person."
He said all these things with an incomparable, confident calm that made Claire go insane. She couldn't help it, but she was thinking of the quote "Typically male!" immediately.
"You're not any different from Charlie!" she hissed at him. "You think just the same way he does, that I need you or love you or whatever! Why can't you just leave me in peace?!"
She had to stop. Aaron had woken up, all uneasy. She sighed, tried to calm her baby again, to make it sleep again. "See what you've done?? It took me hours until he slept!"
Sawyer didn't say anything. He only put on his glasses, adjusted them and took one of the books he had. Claire couldn't see what kind of book it was, turned away from him out of annoyance. And suddenly, he began reading out of it:
"I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart. I am never without it."
Claire had actually planned to leave, but she paused. Sawyer was the last one on this island of whom she had ever expected such words. Aaron laughed lightly with pleasure, moving his little feet and fists around. But Claire remained quiet. She listened to his words.
"Anywhere I go, you go, my dear.
And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling."
Claire had to swallow. She couldn't deny that she liked it. And so did Aaron. She heard a joyful burble escape from his mouth.
"I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet.
I want no world, for, beautiful, you are my world, my true."
Her heartbeat went faster. She felt the blush rise to her cheeks, and the sudden, pleasant warmth inside of her body. Although she wasn't facing Sawyer and couldn't see him, she saw Sawyer right in front of her.
"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.
Here is the root of the root,
And the bud of the bud.
And the sky of the sky, of a tree called life.
Which grows higher than the soul can hope, our mind can hide.
This is the wonder, that's keeping the stars apart."
Claire's eyes started to shine. She was quite sure that she had never heard such beautiful words in her entire life. Aaron was barely moving anymore. She felt him falling asleep peacefully in her arms, wrapped up in his blanket. She rocked him softly – while listening to Sawyer's words.
"I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart."
Claire heard him flip the book shut, quietly and slowly. She turned around to him, and now, they were both looking into each others eyes. Crystal blue meeting greyish-green. He took off his glasses, placed down the book, blinked.
"I hope the kid's gonna be quiet for a while now. Seems like I've up everything I've done wrong." He said. Claire was still speechless. But she caught her mind again, blinked at him. "What… what was that? What did you just read?" she asked. Sawyer held up the book. "It's a book full of poems."
He got up, looked down at her, looking directely into her fascinating eyes, who were in the color of water and the sky. "That one was my favorite. Don't really know why. Here, you can read a few of them. Found it in one of the suitcases."
He placed down the book again, pointing at it for her to know where she could find it. He looked at her thoroughly. "I hope the baby liked it."
After he said that, he left, taking a walk alongside the beach. Claire gulped. She didn't know why, but suddenly, she had the feeling that the poem wasn't meant for Aaron.
She looked after the way he went. Thinking about all of his words. And damn it, he's right!, she thought, blushing unwantedly. She really did.
She liked him.
~*The End*~
