Disclaimer: I own nothing okay we know this already!
Summary: Austin and Ally are both patients at the local hospital's psychiatric floor, and this is the story of how they fit their broken pieces called lives together. / AUSLLY. AU. T. One shot. For Firestone's First Kiss Contest.
Prompt: Blood, for Firestone Piper-Shipper Girl's Contest. Yay go me and stuff for actually finishing this, haha.
A/N: HELLO YOU NEED TO READ THIS OKAY THANKS. Hi. Please don't be put off by the warning and stuff, I beg you. I'm not one for writing about that stuff much myself, so it's not going to be a long detailed description, nothing too horrible, so please just read. You might actually like it.
Warnings: Triggers, blood, angst.
Time Made Me Stronger
:::
The first time Austin and Ally meet, it's at the psychiatric floor's front desk.
Ally never planned on meeting anyone she could actually be friends with. When she was first admitted a year ago, and up until this day, she had kept herself to herself and that was that. She knew people speculated about her, as she had never really spoke of why she was here, but it wasn't really any of their business anyway.
The day seemed insignificant, as did any other. Ally slept in later than usual, but it didn't matter. She was quiet and withdrawn and she didn't care what they thought.
She distinctly remembers the day he arrived, looking back on it. Having her own room had its benefits; she changed right there, into her favourite long-sleeved t-shirt, and pulled her hair into a high pony tail.
Walking down the long, white corridor made her feel unnerved, and she began to scratch at the scars on her wrist as she always did. She tried in vain to leave the ones on her thighs alone. When Ally looked up to talk to one of the nicer nurses currently at the front desk, she saw a pair of hazel eyes staring right back at her.
He smiled weakly and she averted her gaze.
"When am I getting my meds today, Sarah?" Ally chocked out, looking at the floor.
"You can have them now, if you want, Ally." Sarah said kindly and Ally nodded, still looking at the floor.
Just as she went to walk away, she felt a firm hand on her upper arm.
"What are the meds for?" It was the blonde boy again. Ally could see the flecks of gold in his eyes and it felt a little like hope.
She laughed bitterly at herself. Hope, how stupid after all this time. However, she decided to humour him; he was cute after all. "I'm depressed." She said, as easy as breathing.
"Why?" He asked. Ally noted that his eyes were bloodshot and she felt the first notions of curiosity in a long time.
"You haven't been here long enough to ask me that yet." Then she tore her arm away from his grip and quietly walked off down the corridor, back to her room.
He stared at her retreating back and smiled truly for the first time in a long time.
The next time Ally sees him, she's sitting alone in her room. The sane part of her is gracious enough to appreciate the view, maybe it's not the best but it's of trees and flowers and better than a lot of things she's seen in life.
She's sitting cross legged in her black leggings and an over sized shirt that isn't hers but she can't quite remember where she got it from. When she turns her head a fraction she sees him leaning against her door frame.
If they were what society considered normal, then maybe he would have been apprehensive.
"Why are you here?" She asks bluntly and he shrugs, coming further into the room.
"I want to know who you are." Ally realises he must have been in a place like this before, these kind of institutes. You come to appreciate the frank truth of honest answers when all people seem to do around you is lie.
"You'll be happy here," or "You're getting better," she's heard all of it before.
Ally laughs dryly. "No one wants to know me."
"Well I do." He shrugs again and Ally deduces it must be a habit. "How well do I have you know you before you tell me why you're here?"
Ally doesn't look at him, but at the white walls of her room. She twiddles the corner of her dull blue blanket, feeling the soft material between her index finger and thumb. Shrugging back, she keeps a straight face.
"I don't talk to people here."
"And why is that?" He asks, sitting opposite her and awkwardly crossing his legs.
She has the urge to giggle, which she hasn't in a long time. "You can't trust people."
"You can trust me." He offers.
A bitter laugh escapes her. "Don't make promises you can't keep." Ally turns her head to stare blankly at the window and feels his eyes on her, burning.
"You're hair is pretty." The boy says anyway and her head snaps round to look at him.
Ally wants to says you really think so? but settles for, "Thank you."
He smiles genuinely and Ally hasn't seen something so real in a whole year.
He gets up to leave but she calls out just as he reaches the door, a strange thing for her to do considering her normal behaviour and she knows it.
"What's your name?" Ally asks timidly and he smiles a small smile in return.
She thinks she could get used to that smile.
"Austin."
"Okay."
"Okay." He lets out a breath and he moves to leave again when she speaks.
"Maybe we could eat lunch together later?" Ally knows this will cause a stir of attention among her fellow patients but can't bring herself to care, just like she doesn't care about a lot of things.
She might just care a little bit about Austin though.
"Sure."
Then he leaves Ally to contemplate, shutting the door with a soft click.
He's so normal that Ally questions does he really need to be here at all? But then she thinks that maybe he's just a good actor, as are many people she used to know.
Ally knows she hasn't stepped foot in this room in a long time. Just as she was about to back away from the cafeteria door she runs into a rather muscular chest and looks up to see Austin staring inquisitively at her.
She realises she doesn't actually know when he got here, she just assumes he's new. She doesn't leave her room enough to know. But that's okay, it doesn't really matter.
"You okay?" He asks and takes her hand.
Weirdly, Ally is okay with it.
After a year away from people and contact and everything that used to be so familiar, one blonde boys comes strolling into her solitary life and does things she wouldn't let other people even dare do. When the nervous smile crosses her face, she almost feels a little like her old self.
"Yeah... I just don't normally go in there." He raises his eyebrows at her. "People talk. I generally tend to avoid people and talking, those together is like a horror story."
"That's okay." Austin says and gives her hand a squeeze. "I'll protect you Ally."
"How do you know my name?" She asks as he holds the door open for her. A smile hints at the corners of her mouth due to his chivalry.
"Sarah said it, at the front desk before." Ally nods and he takes her hand again.
The old Ally may have blushed, she doesn't, not now.
People look and stare as they queue up for food and Ally can't help but roll her eyes. They're not holding hands anymore, she'd insisted for the sake of rumours, but their arms were pressed up against each other and she could feel the shake of him as he laughed silently at her actions.
She smiled with teeth and thought she heard someone gasp.
This is what happens when you don't leave your room for days on end and never talk to anyone, she thinks.
They sit with their trays of food which actually looks better than she thought they would. Ally usually doesn't eat or asks a nurse if they wouldn't mind bringing her some food. They never do mind, as long as she eats.
When Austin doesn't start eating immediately, she hums and swallows the piece of bread in her mouth. "You better eat up, or they'll think your anorexic."
"I might be messed up." He says around his first bite of food, "But I'm definitely not that."
They don't talk a lot for the rest of lunch but that's okay, they don't have to.
Ally normally gets her counselling on a Thursday, and this week is pretty normal as far as staying on the psychiatric floor goes, so on Thursday she sits in the plush, dark brown leather chair as her therapist organises her papers.
"Have I ever told you how much I love this chair?" Ally says as she curls her feet in under herself. She can almost picture her doing this at home when her—
She stops that thought before she bursts into tears.
"You're the only one who sits in that chair." Dr. Coleman says, smiling fondly. "I drag it to the side so other people don't sit on it."
"Why?" Ally asked. Before, she may have been suspicious, however now she can't help but just feel appreciative for the kind gesture.
"I know you like it." Dr. Coleman said simply. "When at low points in life, people need small, constant things to keep them happy. Also to value how little things can make a big difference."
"Yeah." Ally murmurs, running her hand along the smooth arm of the chair. "Yeah."
"So, how are you feeling?" Dr. Coleman asks but Ally doesn't look up.
"Better. Better than normal, anyway."
"Is it because of Austin?" She questions.
With Ally's head down, the doctor can't see the look of shock that flits across Ally's face. But then Ally realises that they obviously keep tabs on her, and she shouldn't be so surprised.
When she's regained control of her features, she looks up at Dr. Coleman. "Yeah."
"You've been spending a lot of time with him." She comments but doesn't say more.
"He makes me feel like I did before it happened." Ally explains warily.
"Do you think that's a good thing?" Dr. Coleman asks with a raised brow.
Ally knows what she's getting at. Reverting back to old ways can mean nostalgia and never getting over things that have happened to you in your life.
"Not, exactly like I did before, but better. Happier. Like I'm living and not just existing."
"I see." The doctor said whilst she scribbled down some notes. "When do you think you'll see him next?"
"After this." Ally says with a minute smile. "He said he'd be out there, waiting at three o'clock for me."
Now it's Dr. Coleman's turn to smile. "He talks about you too, you know."
"I swear you aren't supposed to tell me stuff like that." Ally says, her good girl ways thick in her skin, but curiosity shining in her eyes.
"I'll tell you what I want, if I think it's healing you." Dr. Coleman says. She glances at the clock and realises it's ten to three. She looks to the window of her office and see's a blonde standing outside it, bobbing his head and leaning against the wall.
"You better go." She says gently. "Someone's waiting for you."
Ally's eyes snaps to the door and a smile slowly spreads out across her face as she makes out Austin's head of blonde hair and broad shoulders.
"Thanks, Doctor C." Ally says as she heads out.
Dr. Coleman pretends she doesn't see Ally give Austin her first hug in over a year.
"Lying on the grass in bright daylight isn't the same as during the middle of the night." Austin says as they lazily lie side by side in the weak sunlight.
"Yeah well. At least this way no one spies on us." She turns her head enough to see him nod and goes back to looking up at the blue sky.
"Have you ever had your first kiss?" Austin asks. Random question aren't really uncommon in a place like this.
"No, have you?"
"No."
Silence.
"Why are you here?" Ally asks him. Maybe if he tells her, she can use the time to build up the courage to tell him too.
"My mother left. My dad beat me." Austin says without looking at her. Ally lies on her side so she can see him more clearly. "I went kind of insane, the pressure of people and school and questions was too much. Tried to off myself."
Ally rubs the back of her hand against his cheek comfortingly and he smiles slightly.
"I still have some of the bruises on my back, shoulders; that's why I wear mid-length sleeve t-shirts."
"So why are you still here?" Ally asks. "Are you still crazy?"
He doesn't even flinch at the word crazy, just turns on his side to look at her for the first time since he started talking. "Sometimes."
Ally hums and doesn't ask anymore.
"What about you?"
She doesn't understand why it hurts so much when she knew the question was coming.
"My parents died in a car crash that I was in. I felt guilty; stopped eating, started cutting. I nearly died, even though I didn't mean for that to happen."
She can feel his sympathetic stare even though her eyes are looking down rather than at him. "When was the last time?" He asks.
"Two weeks ago, that's the last time I cut."
Somehow, telling him actually makes her feel better.
"That's when I met you." He sounds surprised.
She just smiles. "I know."
Hand holding is kind of a regular thing for them, and she wonders if they were in the outside world, would this be considered dating. As he grasps her hand in his, she can't bring herself to care, because like a lot of things, it doesn't really matter.
As long as she is his and he is hers, nothing really matters.
When he finds her next, she is sitting in the corner of her bathroom floor, bloody and sobbing.
He looks to her arms and stops himself from cringing. She still cries.
Austin lifts her up gently into his arms and takes her to her bed, leaning her back against the headboard. He goes back to the bathroom for bandages and tissues, both wet and dry.
She moans as he cleans the cuts of her blood and then stems the flow. Then he bandages the damage in clean dressing and looks at her sadly.
"Why, Ally?"
"Talking about it brought the memories back." She says and falls into his open embrace.
"I'm sorry." Austin says and feels the guilt welling inside him.
"It's not your fault." She says quietly and he half believes her.
They sit for a long time in silence, until she's calmed down, her sobs dying out and her breathing becoming even.
"Why did you do it Ally?" He asks again, "You were doing so well, I thought I was helping, I thought—"
"Sh," She says softly and he stops talking. "You are helping. Two weeks and a day, that's my longest record." Ally crawls out of his embrace.
"Yeah, but—"
"Why are you trying so hard to understand me?" She asks. "I don't sit here for every minute of the day and analyse everything you do."
"What do you mean?" He asks curiously. They're sitting on opposite sides of the bed now.
"Sometimes, people are just meant to be appreciated, loved, not understood. You don't have to understand everything about me just to be with me, right here and now. To help me when I need it. Just let it go. Just let everything come as it will and stop trying to analyse everything around you because you'll miss out on what's really important."
"Like what?" Austin said nervously. He could see the cuts bleeding from under the pristine white bandages, and didn't notice as Ally inched closer to him again.
"See, you're doing it right now. Instead of focusing on the fact we're about to share our first kiss, you're looking at my wrists and trying to figure out why I did that to myself after all that time."
His head snaps up as her lips brush softly against his. It's gentle and tentative, just as they are. Ally pulls away to whisper against his shaking lips before she leans in again.
"It doesn't matter. Not anymore."
A/N: Well there you go, kind of sad but a hint of fluff. In a weird way, I'm actually happy and sort of proud of this. It was a little hard to write but I got there in the end and I'm content to 'enter' this for the contest.
Please review, it makes me happy and only takes a minute or two of your time :)
Thanks for reading!
-—Sophie.