AN: I haven't dabbled in fic in quite a few years. This was something that has been stirring in my head for a while, and I thought I would give it a shot. I'm not quite sure if I plan to continue it or not, I suppose that depends on the feedback I get. Anyway, here it is. As always, credit belongs where credit is due. These characters are not mine. Stephanie Meyer owns them all. I'm just toying with them.

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I've spent a lot of time, lately, looking back over the last few years of my life.

If someone had told me, five years ago, that werewolves and vampires were real and that I would end up married to one of the latter, I would have ran from that crazy person, while praying that I wouldn't trip and fall down in the process.

The strangest thing is that I'm not really scared. I know it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot. Unfortunately, par for the course, being the danger magnet that I am, I've experienced that pain on more than one occasion and have the scars to prove it. But, once it's over, I may never have to experience real pain ever again. That's a pretty decent trade, if you ask me!

I've found numerous ways to ask my new family about their previous "lives." Most all of the stories were interesting. But, there was something lacking. The general consensus is that after I am changed, I will forget a lot. Little things, like what my favorite foods were or what it feels like to wake up from a wonderful dream… Most of them say that I may not even have the same feelings for my human family and friends as I once had. Or, as Rosalie so nicely puts it, I may not feel much for humans at all.

That last one, I'm not so sure about. How can I just stop caring about people? People like Renee and Charlie? People like Jake?

Maybe, they all went through these changes because of the traumas they endured before their transformations. I mean, Carlisle never stopped caring about people. So it can't be a definite for everyone, right? But, then again… What if Carlisle is one of those rare exceptions to the rule? What if they are right?

It doesn't change anything. I made my decision and I am ready. Completely, one hundred percent ready for this. But, as much as I might look forward to spending eternity with the man of my dreams, the whole experience which brought has me to this point is something that I hope to never forget.

"Her heartbeat has accelerated dramatically. She's heading for cardiac arrest."

Carlisle stepped into the room and placed a sympathetic hand upon his son's shoulder. "It won't be much longer, now." He finished, softly.

Edward had not left Bella's side once, from the moment her transformation had begun. Not even to speak to the rest of the family. It was clear from the beginning that he had mixed emotions about turning her. His thumb rubbed continuous circles over the back of her hand, which he was holding, as he watched the movement of her eyes and they flitted, to and fro, beneath their near translucent lids.

His own eyes traveled downward to the hand that he was holding as his thumb passed over the familiar half moon scar that felt so much more like his own cool skin. It was one of three that she now wore. They owed many thanks to a lone rogue, followed by Victoria some months later, for the addition of the latest two. His own injection of venom was not included in these numbers.

They had discussed in-depth how they were to go through with this and had decided upon using an injection of his venom instead. He couldn't bear the thought of adding, yet, another scar to her collection, much less, the idea of causing her unnecessary pain. It was Bella's choice, however, that the site of injection would be over her heart.

She's still so warm, Edward thought to himself, thinking of how soon she would never feel this way again.

His eyes traveled back up to rest upon her troubled face. Beads of sweat glistened over her knitted brows. The flush upon her cheeks remaining, even as her breathing became more labored.

How they had been able to spare her life all three times was far too remarkable to be mere luck. To be able to draw the venom from a vampires bite once was a miracle in itself. It was just one more thing that told Edward that this girl, his beautiful, precious girl, was meant to live. And, yet, it was he that would finally extinguish her light.

Despite it all, his protestations, his reasoning and against even his own conscience, Edward was far too selfish to let her go. And, as always, he could refuse her nothing.

Edward's ears quickened to the sound of her erratic heart-beat.

Thu-thump… Thu-thump… Thu-thump-thump-thump-thump…

"It's almost over, Edward." Carlisle's voice came from behind him, surprising Edward out of his self loathing. He had nearly forgotten Carlisle was there.

Still clasping Bella's hand, Edward reached over with the other and placed it over her heart, etching this feeling to memory, already grieving its loss. A small shiver went through her body before, she finally, lay still.

The rest of the family, who had been respectfully waiting outside, began to slowly fill the little room.

Their thoughts were a colorful mix that Edward, as always, was privy to. He kept his eyes locked on Bella's face, trying to tune them out in an effort to focus on her and her alone. But, try as he may, certain things always manage to filter through.

Carlisle was marveling at Bella's retention of color… Esme was eagerly awaiting the arrival of her newest "daughter"… Emmett was wondering how soon would be considered too soon for him to challenge his new sister to an arm wrestling match… Jasper was thinking about Alice and seemed to be nervous… Rosalie was just pissed. Nothing new there, Edward thought, while Alice...

Edward… Alice was thinking at him.

Instead of turning to her, Edward shook his head slightly. Whatever it was she needed to tell him, could wait. He leaned forward as Bella began to stir.

Edward! Listen to me! Alice continued, I need to tell you something. It's important that you know…

Edward continued to ignore her. He reached up to stroke the side of Bella's face. She's certainly cooler to the touch than before, he noted, But, should she still feel this warm? Bella's lids began to flutter slightly and a small sigh escaped her lips. The sound of her voice was like music to his ears.

Edward! Alice's voice hissed urgently into his mind. Edward, I've seen something. Something's wrong!

As Bella's eyes slowly opened and looked around her, All but Alice gasped in surprise.

"Edward?" Bella murmured, softly, her eyes landing on his. Bella's soft, chocolate-brown, eyes that held only a hint of gold behind them.

"Welcome back, my love," He responded, smiling to hide his surprise. A smile that faltered, changed into an expression of shock and confusion as a very unexpected sound responded in turn…

Thump

To Be, or Not to Be… Continued?