Wonderwall
Disclaimer: Lyrics are by Oasis. Characters are JK Rowling's.
A/N: I fully recommend listening to the song whilst reading this. Even if you have to repeat it a few times - just for the full experience.
"Because baby, you're gonna be the one that saves me,
And after all, you're my Wonderwall,"
Harry Potter couldn't sleep.
The nights were the worst. Night after night Harry would lie awake, trying to shut out the faces that haunted him. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Fred. Colin Creevey. Mad Eye. His parents. All dead.
He knew coming back to school would be hard, but he had imagined it would be the same for everyone; forever haunted and effected by the war. Judging by Ron's snores in the next bed, apparently not.
Harry had never felt so alone. Even when he was at the Dursleys, he had the thoughts of his supportive friends to keep him going. Despite being surrounded by them now, they were no help to him. Ron and Hermione acted as if the war had never happened, in an attempt to get their lives back to normal. The subject was tiptoed around and never mentioned.
Harry had been left alone with his consuming grief, and it would seem he was the only one suffering.
He unfolded the Marauders Map and studied it, for something to distract him. The names on the map were stationary, very little people were moving around at 3am.
He spotted a seventh year boy in the fourth floor corridor with a girl. How romantic, he thought dryly. His eyes wandered past them, where a movement caught his attention.
A name was flickering faintly in the boys' bathroom. He squinted to pick it out, it was barely there. He frowned. Names on the map were normally crystal clear. The writing suddenly flashed solid again, and he read 'Draco Malfoy'.
Malfoy? He thought in surprise. It was the first time he'd thought of the boy in weeks. Ever since the Malfoys' downfall - Lucius and Narcissa found dead- Draco had disappeared into the shadows, unnoticed even by Harry.
Beyond picking up on the fact that he seemed to have been shunned by Slytherin at the beginning of the year, Harry had barely spared a thought for his former nemesis.
He puzzled for a few moments over the fading name. He had an ominous feeling, and he found himself slipping his dad's old cloak on and padding out of the dormitory.
When he reached the bathroom door, he glanced down at the map once more. 'Draco Malfoy' had almost disappeared from the map altogether. He pushed open the door quietly.
"Malfoy?" he asked gently. There was no reply, and he walked in, stopping dead at the horribly familiar scene before him.
Draco Malfoy was lying on the bathroom floor, in a pool of murky reddish-brown water - tinted by what Harry knew to be blood. His pale blonde hair seemed white in the shafts of moonlight, fanned out around his head like a halo. His eyes were closed, but scrunched up slightly, as if in pain.
Harry fell to his knees by Malfoy. He could hear shallow, ragged breaths leaving the boy's chest, but each one sounded so strained that Harry feared after each one that he wouldn't breath again.
"Malfoy!" he whispered shakily, moving his slim body gently. There was no response. Harry noticed the gashes on his arms and chest for the first time, and the wand clutched tightly in his white, slender fingers. He had clearly done this to himself.
Harry gently wiggled his arms under Malfoy's body, wondering when he had become so thin and fragile. He stood up slowly, Malfoy's head lolling slightly over the crook of his elbow. He sloshed through the bloody water, and strode to the Hospital Wing, checking the boy in his arms every few seconds.
()
Harry returned to the Hospital Wing every day that week, even though Madam Pomfrey had warned him it would be unlikely Draco would regain consciousness so quickly. She also whispered to him that Draco had not had a single visitor. This spurred Harry on to sitting by his bed for an hour or so every day, between classes, talking softly to the motionless boy.
Three days after the incident, Harry had just been describing their last Potions lesson to Draco, when he saw the boy's eyelids flutter, for the first time in days. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the pale grey eyes once more.
Draco's dark eyebrows knitted together in confusion. His eyes turned from the ceiling to Harry.
"Puh...Puh...Pot...Potter?" he whispered through painful, raspy breaths.
"Malfoy," Harry replied, with a half smile. "You look awful." he told him, chuckling weakly.
Draco remained silent, as the memories rushed back to him. His eyes lowered to the gashes on his arms, which were now just faint, pink lines.
"Why... am I... here?" he asked, his face devoid of any emotion. "Meant.. to... die."
Harry's face spasmed with anger.
"No! You're not meant to die! I can't believe you tried to do this Draco... What happened to the cocky, self assured little Slytherin I'm used to? He would never do this," he indicated the scars, "to himself."
Draco turned his eyes to the ceiling, with a blank face. "What do I... have to live for?" he asked finally. "My family... dead. Slytherin... hate me. The whole wizarding world hates me and my name. I'm haunted every night by memories of the war that I played a part in. Seriously Potter," he turned his emotionless grey eyes to Harry, "What do I have left to carry on for?"
"Your life! You! Your future!" spluttered Harry, frustrated. "You'll have a family and children of your own one day! Isn't that worth living for?"
Draco didn't answer, but watched Harry thoughtfully. "Why are you here, Potter? Why am I here?"
"I found you that night." Harry said shortly. "I brought you here. I've been sitting with you every day."
Draco frowned. "Why? You.. hate me."
Harry sighed, looking round him as if hoping to the find the answer there. With his eyes fixed on the empty bed opposite, he talked quickly.
"I don't hate you. You did some pretty terrible things, but I think you've paid the price. Your parents are dead. You've lost everything, the same way I did. Ron and Hermione, they... they pretend it didn't happen. Because they can. They aren't affected by nightmares, they didn't lose their parents.
But while I was sitting by your bed, I realised. You did. I know how badly my parent's death affected me, and I didn't even know them. You knew yours for seventeen years, and now they're suddenly gone, I can't even imagine how bad it's been for you. Like me. I suppose.. I'm here because we're more alike than I thought."
He glanced quickly at Draco, whose expression had softened slightly.
"Thanks, Potter." he said quietly.
()
A few days later, Draco looked up suddenly from the game of Exploding Snap he had been playing with Harry.
"Damn. I just realised."
Harry glanced up, worriedly. "What?"
"That's twice you've saved my life now, Harry." Harry noticed the use of the name 'Potter' had been dropped. He smiled inwardly.
"You'll have to find a way to make it up for me then, won't you?"
"I'll try and save your life too, if I can." Draco agreed.
"I'm sure you'll get the chance to. I doubt I'll ever get the chance lead a safe, normal life. Fate seems to hate me." Harry sighed, gloomily.
Draco reached out and put a hand on Harry's arm, surprising even himself as he did so.
"You'll have that normal life with the family and kids too. Just you wait and see."
"I hope so. Thanks, Malfoy."
"Draco." Draco corrected, with a small smile. Harry grinned happily back.
()
A month after Draco had been let out of hospital, found him sitting by the lake with Harry, studying together. They had settled into a companionable silence, after a lengthy discussion about the wonders of Quidditch. Draco found that, given the chance, Harry was incredibly easy to talk to, and Draco was very glad they had struck up the tentative new friendship.
As Draco's blond hair fell across his face, as he bent down to write something, Harry was watching him. He had found Draco funny, insightful and intelligent. He was more perceptive and witty than Ron, and a far better conversationalist than Hermione. Harry found he was enjoying the boy's company a lot.
He told him so, and smirked as Draco blushed slightly, and pushed Harry over in embarrassment. They wrestled playfully for a while, finding they were equally matched in strength, which Harry was not used to.
They collapsed laughing by the lake, marvelling at how much fun they had together, considering their history.
()
Two months later, a few nights before Christmas, and the Gryffindor common room was dark and deserted, but for Harry and Draco. Gryffindor house had long since got used to the Slytherin living there - when Harry learned that Slytherin had kicked Draco out, and he had been living in the Room of Requirement, he demanded immediately that Draco take Dean's old bed in his dormitory.
The two boys were sitting with their backs propped up on opposite arms of the sofa by the fire, their feet touching in the middle. As Draco watched the flickering flames contentedly, he smiled at how his life at turned out.
"Thank you." he said, looking directly at the messy haired boy at the other end of the sofa.
"What for?" Harry asked, confused.
"Saving me." said Draco simply.
"I don't just mean that night. In general. My life was at an all time low, I had no family or friends, I was completely alone in the world. No one, no one, was kind or friendly to me, and I'd forgotten what that was like. Everyone was cold, distant, scornful.. I was ready to take my own life. But thanks to you and your desire to be ever heroic.."
Harry kicked him playfully as Draco smirked back, "You reminded me that there were some people who weren't like that. That life was worth living, if you just give it a chance. Seriously, this is corny, but I'm not joking when I say that if it wasn't for you, I'd be lying in the Malfoy family crypt. I was really determined to take my life, and you not only saved it, but got it back on track.
So thank you." he finished sheepishly, his cheeks burning red. He watched as Harry sat up fully, and leaned in to talk in a low voice.
"You saved me too, you know." Harry told him. "Everyone I know dances round the topic of the War like it's taboo, and is afraid to talk about it. They don't mention it, and are doing their best to forget it. I was haunted by the War, but then I got to know you, properly. I realised you were the same. I felt so... alone after the War. Empty. You..you've made me feel a hell of a lot better. So thanks, Draco. You saved me, too."
With that, he collapsed onto Draco, who went rigid in shock. Harry slotted his chin in the right angle between Draco's shoulder and face, and nuzzled his nose into Draco's cheek, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly.
"Potter?" Draco spluttered. "What are you doing?" Harry replied by shushing him, and wrapping an arm round his waist, encircling them.
"I'm enjoying that incredibly cheesy moment we just had." he chuckled into Draco's ear. Draco relaxed into the embrace, and closed his eyes too.
Which was how Ron and Hermione found them the next morning, sleeping cocooned together on the sofa, snuggled into each other's arms, with identical sleepy smiles on their faces.
()
"Happy birthday." Draco whispered, kissing Harry gently on the lips, again. Harry ran his hands through the sleek, blond hair, as he had done millions of times. They were propped up on their elbows in Harry's bed, completely naked but completely comfortable.
"Isn't it our seven month anniversary as well?" murmured Harry into Draco's lips.
"Oh yes," Draco reflected with a smile. "The New Year's Eve countdown."
"When we kept kissing long after everyone else had stopped," Harry laughed delightedly. Draco smiled to see him so happy.
"Ready for round two?" Harry asked, wiggling his eyebrows deviously.
"Wait a moment. I have something for you." Draco promised, turning round reaching under the bed for something. He returned with his hair mussed all over his forehead, and Harry smirked.
"Beautiful, as always," he told him with a kiss.
Draco handed him a tiny, velvet box, his heart pounding. Harry's breath hitched in his throat. Was this-?
"A ring." he breathed, gazing at it. It was a beautifully cut diamond, with a green hue, the very palest green Harry had ever seen. He fell in love with it immediately.
"Do you like it?" Draco asked nervously. "It's an old Malfoy antique. The green represents Slytherin I think, but it reminded me of your eyes." he confessed.
Harry slipped it wordlessly on his finger, and gazed into the stormy, grey eyes which burned with passion.
"Will you marry me, Harry Potter?" Draco Malfoy murmured breathlessly.
"I do." he whispered, and leaned in for another kiss.
The two young men remained entwined in each other's arms all night, content to do that for the rest of their life.
()
Draco held hands with Harry, his eyes locking with the emerald green ones. The congregation watched with bated breath as he cleared his throat.
"Harry, baby, you were gonna be the one that saves me. And after all," his voice broke on the last words. "You're my Wonderwall."
The crowd ahh'd and clapped. But Draco only had eyes for the man in front of him, who's eyes were filling with tears.
"It's our song." Harry whispered.
"I love you," Draco replied, crying softly.
()
It was a cold, bleak day. Not many people had come. Harry wasn't surprised. He barely noticed them leaving. He only realised now he was alone. He slowly got to his knees, kneeling on the freshly turned dirt. He traced the name on the stone on front of him with a frail, gnarled finger.
Tears dripped down his wrinkled face as he realised that Draco was gone. His companion throughout life, the one man he could fully depend on. He had given all his love to him, and received so much in return. Now buried under the ground.
He had watched the pale blond hair slowly grow white. Watched him grow old.
He thought back to the two young boys who had lay together in bed, with an engagement ring glistening on Harry's hand. He recalled the sweaty, tanned arm on the clammy, white one. The way their breaths had been simultaneous and ragged. The way they had joined, and become one.
The beautiful, pale boy on his wedding day. The blond hair framing the pointed face, tears spilling from the beautiful grey eyes, as he read the lyrics of their favourite song.
Harry took a scrap of paper from his coat pocket, and unfolded it with shaky, gnarled hands. The tears fell onto the paper and blurred the words, but it didn't matter. He knew them off by heart. He sobbed unashamedly as he finished reading the last lines.
"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you, but I don't know how
Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my.. Wonderwall."
He choked on the last word, as Draco had so many years ago. But this time, Harry was truly alone.