Disclaimer: The characters belong to Martha Williamson and the Hallmark Channel. I own nothing. Lines in plain italics are quotes from Signed, Sealed, Delivered.

Choices

Oliver turned the letter over in his hand thoughtfully, running his fingers lightly over the address. He couldn't seem to shake Shane's words from his head.

I'm not afraid to mail this letter. He had told Shane, unsure how to address the unspoken question in her eyes. Unwilling to reveal anything further to her, putting up his walls so she couldn't see into the dark storm of uncertainty within him.

Then what are you scared of, Oliver? She replied, seeing past those walls. As she always did in that direct but gentle way of hers.

He couldn't give her a response because he wasn't exactly sure what it was he feared. If he sent this letter, it would change the course of his life forever. Was he ready for that? Was he ready for the waves and the ripples this letter would create on the calm and tranquil sea of his life.

You begin by doing the thing that scares you the most. You face up to the scary and the rest is easy.

He chuckled to himself. That Ardis Pennington Payne. She really had a way with words ~ in her own unique and special way, a wordsmith. He couldn't forget the wave of gratitude that went through his heart when she looked at him seriously and acknowledged the value of the Postables' work.

You change lives every day.

He ignored the pouring rain, listening to his heart. Trying to calm the racing thoughts in his mind. He was unaccustomed to feeling this way. Unaccustomed to feeling this shaken, this unsure. He always had the words to say when other people needed them. Why couldn't he find them for themselves.

Help of the helpless, Lord, abide with me.

His lips didn't move but his heart did. As it always did.

Tell me what to do, he asked, because I don't know. And I am frightened. Lord, abide with me.

He put his hand on the mailbox, opened the slot, and slowly slid the letter in. And, although he didn't feel the still small voice that so often spoke to him in times such as these, he felt a small peace amidst the tumult of emotion and thoughts that fill his mind and his heart.

Face the scary, Oliver.

What are you afraid of?

I am not afraid to send this letter.

He turned and saw Shane standing, watching him. Seeing him in all his vulnerability, with all the doubts and fears that he felt painted in broad colors on his face. And he saw a marvelous truth in her eyes.

A truth he was not ready to face. Not yet.
But maybe he was just misreading things... the night was dark and stormy after all and she was standing fairly far away.

He wasn't surprised she had followed him. Shane's sense of compassion for people she barely knew often overrode the norms of traditional boundaries. And since Oliver was such a private man, her curiosity, her desire to see things through, often clashed with his instinct to honor strongly drawn lines of demarcation.

He respected the rules – enshrined them in his heart.

Shane had a way of bending them, if not sometimes outright breaking them.

A fascinating woman, that Miss McInerney. And special... he quickly stopped that line of thought, unwilling to even look down that road.

He couldn't bring himself to break the solemnity of the moment – those moments of communion that he had shared with the night, with the rain, and with the plain mailbox near the hospital. And he couldn't bring himself to reflect on what he thought he had seen in Shane's eyes standing there and back at the hospital.

It was too much.

So he turned in her direction and walked past her, not saying a word, not acknowledging her witness of that intensely private moment.

And she said nothing as he walked away.

Oliver O'Toole, she thought to herself, you brave, courageous, exasperating man.

She had seen him silently slip out while Rita and Norman had been visiting Ardis. With her typical Shane curiosity, she hadn't been able to stop herself from following him.

Oh Shane, she scolded herself, can you, for one moment, stop being so, so...Shane.

No, she could not. Her intense concern for her co-worker, her friend, was the impulse that pushed her to follow Oliver.

But she did not go further than the patio.

She could see the indecision and fear in his body language. The uncertainty in his face.

I am not afraid.

Oh yes, you are, Shane thought to herself, be brave, Oliver, my friend. Do what you need to do, what you have to do. You will never find peace if you do not.

And then she saw him reach out, open the mailbox, and slide the letter inside.

And walk right past her.

Shane let him have his privacy, let him have time to gather his composure. He had not been ready to let her see that moment and, for a moment, she felt a bitter twinge of regret that she had intruded on that moment.

But she wanted him to know she cared, as a partner, and as a...friend.

Friends stood by one another.

Watching him, Shane so badly wanted to wipe the rain from his face which she was certain was mixed with tears.

But she didn't do it.

She stood back and let him have his moment of solitude. His time to say goodbye.

Because that's how it felt ~ as if Oliver was saying a final farewell.

Oh, my friend, my partner, she thought, I hope that this marks the beginning of peace for you. You are so brave for facing your fear. Because I saw it in your eyes – you were afraid.

I wish you trusted me enough to talk to me about why you are scared or even admit to me that you are. Just when I think I am getting to know you, you turn yourself away from me.

Where do we all go from here?