Soooo this has a pretty big spoiler to people who haven't seen The Empty Hearse, so if you haven't seen it you probably don't want to read this.

For those of you who have seen this, this idea just came to me while I was texting ma friend Jillian and she was like, "You better write this!" So I did.

Be prepared for lots of randomness.

"I thought you were dead," John managed to get out of his jumbled train of thoughts. "You let me grieve... how could you do that?"

Mary was staring at the pair of them with a worried and shocked expression, and he was thankful that she was really the only one watching this exchange between him and Sherlock. Sherlock looked down and bit his lip thoughtfully, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor.

"How?" John continued. His fury was building and his breaths were growing faster, as the urge to punch Sherlock escalated.

"Wait. Before you do anything you might regret, just let me ask you this one question... just this one question, um..." Sherlock said. He lifted his head a little but kept his gaze fixed on the floor. John looked him in the face waiting for his next words. The atmosphere was so thick it was almost suffocating. Sherlock smiled and gestured to the area above his own lips with his finger. "Are you really gonna keep that?" He chuckled a little at the end of the sentence with a smile.

John smirked and looked to Mary. The doctor took in a deep breath, preparing to throw Sherlock to the ground for a good old-fashioned fight, before the most unexpected thing happened: John's mustache jumped off his face onto the table.

"No he's not gonna keep that." the mustache said in a high-pitched voice in response to Sherlock's earlier comment. Sherlock himself was staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the small blonde thing; this was not how he had expected their reunion to go at all. "I'm tired of ya'll always... breathin' on me and gettin' food on me! I'm not a napkin, ya know." It pointed at John with an angry look on its face. "I'm leavin' to go see my cousin Steve down the street."

The mustache leaped off the table and ran towards the door. John was left silent and confused, with Mary as white as a sheet. All confrontation was forgotten now, with only a few more spoken words.

"Sherlock?"

"W-what?"

"Never talk about people's mustaches again."

Yup.

There's an example of what my mind is like.

I swear to God if this actually happened in the episode I would positively die. Hope you liked that little... story. :P

And YES, the mustache HAD to have a country accent!